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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Report Card----"The Martian"

"The Martian" is a first cousin once removed to the movie "Gravity".
You know. The one with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney in outer space.
This one has Matt Damon in the Sandra Bullock part.
And it's just as unbelievable.
I mean, how can you do a movie about major space exploration without some major movie star's life being in jeopardy?
I ask you.
Because, after all, all astronauts are major movie stars.

On to the scoring:

Is it interesting?

Occasionally.
B-.

Compelling even?

Never.
F.

Is it controversial?

Not at all.
F.

Is it a story worth telling?

It is pure fiction.
F.

Is it good storytelling?

It is as predictable as "Gravity", which is to say "Very".
F.

Is it well written?

The dialogue is okay.
B.

Is it well cast? Well played?

Damon's pretty good. But really no great shakes.
B+.

Well shot?

If that's what Mars looks like, it's gorgeous. That's probably the edge it has over "Gravity".
A.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

No one else has ever attempted to film Mars, except maybe Melies, if that was Mars, and it was better than that, Still, I have no clue.
?

How long does it take to establish the film's locale?

Immediately. Mars and Houston, in that order.
A+.

Is it too long? Too short?

Way too long. They could have cut about twenty minutes. Just about any twenty minutes.
F.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

I really didn't go along for the ride. Although Damon was rather engaging.
C+.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

It was never not predictable. That was the main problem.
F.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Just about how formulaic it all was.
F.

Is it funny?

Here and there.
B.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

The special effects were awesome, if that's the kind of thing that matters to you. It doesn't to me.
C-.

Is it impressive?

Visually, perhaps. That's all.
C.

Overall grade: C-.

The only positive thing I can say about it is it was not as bad as "Gravity" and Matt Damon is a lot easier to take than Sandra Bullock.

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My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at macchus999@aol.com. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."