"This is where I came in"
This is an expression that people used to say all the time.
Now, it's only an expression that only old people say all the time.
It essentially means "Don't go any further. You're starting to repeat yourself."
But that was it's figurative meaning.
It's literal meaning hearkens way back to the days when you went to the movies
any old time.
Not necessarily when the movie started.
Maybe in the middle.
Maybe towards the end.
And then you'd start watching it from the beginning, because movies ran continuously
in those days.
With maybe even a cartoon or a short subject thrown in.
Or maybe it was part of a double feature.
For you youngsters out there, a double feature meant that you got two movies for the price
of one.
And when you got to the point in the movie that you came in late for, you'd get up, and say
to yourself "This is where I came in"
It's not like today, when they only let you enter the theater at the beginning of the film,
showing you way too many previews beforehand, and then the theater, usually in a multiplex,
empties out for at least a half-hour.
Actually, I think that this is an improvement.
I hate to tell you how many times my mother dragged me to the movies when I was a kid,
only to show up right in the middle of the picture, not knowing what the hell was going on
because I didn't know what preceded it.
And then she'd say "this is where we came in", and we'd leave.
If you ever say "This is where I came in" these days, it's got to make you at least 50.
So it's an expression that people used to say all the time.
Now, it's only an expression that only old people say all the time..........
Wait a minute.
This is where I came in.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
The Men Of Livonia.
Livonia is a very nice suburb of Detroit, here in Michigan.
Until I lived here, I'd never heard of it.
It first came to my attention prominently when my wife and I were riding in the car with the radio on.
We were listening to Dionne Warwick's recording of "I'll never fall in love again"
After she reached a particular lyric, my wife commented that it always seemed to be an odd
choice of phrase.
She was referring to Dionne's singing:
"What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, the men of Livonia....."
I had to point out that the actual lyric was "After you do, he'll never phone ya"
My wife had been harboring this deranged illusion ever since the first time she heard the song,
in the sixties.
I felt the need to call attention to the ludicrousness of her thought process, the inherent
senselessness of what she thought she heard, and that who, outside of Michigan, had ever heard of
Livonia?
The point was made, and the illusion was finally eradicated.
This led me to remind myself of several other butchered interpretations of popular songs,
exclusively by members of my family.
The earliest one that I can recall was when my seven year old sister was called upon to give her first, and ultimately her last public singing performance at my Bar Mitzvah, with her rendition of
"Do, Re, Mi", from "The Sound of Music"
It included her use of the line "Sew, ulneeda pulling thread"
Okay, she was seven.
Some slack should be cut.
But at around the same time, my mother, Bella, was around forty.
My father had bought a Mercedes-Benz with a diesel engine, which he promply turned into a taxicab.
Ever the innovator.
We all coined a nickname for it: "The Mercediesel".
She then purchased the original Broadway Cast Album of that self-same show, "The Sound of Music"
On it, there was this charming song called "How Can Love Survive?"
I don't believe that this song survived it's way into the movie.
It was sung as a duet by Kurt Kasznar and Marion Marlowe.
It contained the following lyrics:
"No rides for us on the top of a bus
In the face of the freezing breezes
You reach your goals in your comfy old Rolls
Or in one of your Mercedes-es!"
As soon as she heard that lyric, there was no convincing Bella that Kurt was NOT singing
"Mercediesels"
Never mind that "The Sound of Music" took place in the 1930's, when there probably were no
diesel-engined Mercedes.
Never mind that we, in fact, coined the term "Mercediesels"
Bella was convinced, and remained convinced, all the way to her grave, that it was "Mercediesels"
Back to my sister, about six years later, which would make her thirteen, to all you mathematicians
out there.
At some point, out of the blue, my sister asks me "Mark, does minjulepa mean oss?"
A few words of explanation are in order.
"Oss" was my sister's consciously amusing way of saying the word "ass".
Whenever she was asked a question that would begin with the word "Where?",
her response would more than likely be "Up oss".
Or, literally, "up your ass".
So I bewilderedly wrestled with the question "Does minjulepa mean oss?"
Then she put it into context.
"You know, like in the song---"You give my old minjulepa kick, Mame"
I had to explain, not unpatronizingly, what a mint julep was, and how ungrammatical it
would have been if minjulepa DID mean oss.
It's as if you were singing "You give my old oss kick".
There was no room left for an "a".
I am also guilty of lyric butchery in the same manner, and of course, my sister has never let me
hear the end of it.
When I heard Janis Joplin sing "Me and Bobby McGee" for the first time, I questioned my sister
as to whether Janis was singing "Breathin's just another word for nuthin' left to lose",
or "Freedom's just another word for nuthin' left to lose".
My sister let me have it between the eyes.
"Breathin'?" "Breathin'?" What are you, a moron?
Now, I maintain that this example doesn't hold a candle to minjulepa or Mercediesels.
And it's not as if I was certain that it was "Breathin'"
I was just questioning it.
I think a case can actually be made for "Breathin'"
Not a very good one.
"Freedom" is certainly a vast upgrade.
But I confess to having had my doubts.
I don't usually solicit comments for the Comments section, but I'm somewhat curious as to
whether my family was unique in this regard, or whether examples like this are rampant among
my readers.
If so, I'd like to hear yours.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Until I lived here, I'd never heard of it.
It first came to my attention prominently when my wife and I were riding in the car with the radio on.
We were listening to Dionne Warwick's recording of "I'll never fall in love again"
After she reached a particular lyric, my wife commented that it always seemed to be an odd
choice of phrase.
She was referring to Dionne's singing:
"What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, the men of Livonia....."
I had to point out that the actual lyric was "After you do, he'll never phone ya"
My wife had been harboring this deranged illusion ever since the first time she heard the song,
in the sixties.
I felt the need to call attention to the ludicrousness of her thought process, the inherent
senselessness of what she thought she heard, and that who, outside of Michigan, had ever heard of
Livonia?
The point was made, and the illusion was finally eradicated.
This led me to remind myself of several other butchered interpretations of popular songs,
exclusively by members of my family.
The earliest one that I can recall was when my seven year old sister was called upon to give her first, and ultimately her last public singing performance at my Bar Mitzvah, with her rendition of
"Do, Re, Mi", from "The Sound of Music"
It included her use of the line "Sew, ulneeda pulling thread"
Okay, she was seven.
Some slack should be cut.
But at around the same time, my mother, Bella, was around forty.
My father had bought a Mercedes-Benz with a diesel engine, which he promply turned into a taxicab.
Ever the innovator.
We all coined a nickname for it: "The Mercediesel".
She then purchased the original Broadway Cast Album of that self-same show, "The Sound of Music"
On it, there was this charming song called "How Can Love Survive?"
I don't believe that this song survived it's way into the movie.
It was sung as a duet by Kurt Kasznar and Marion Marlowe.
It contained the following lyrics:
"No rides for us on the top of a bus
In the face of the freezing breezes
You reach your goals in your comfy old Rolls
Or in one of your Mercedes-es!"
As soon as she heard that lyric, there was no convincing Bella that Kurt was NOT singing
"Mercediesels"
Never mind that "The Sound of Music" took place in the 1930's, when there probably were no
diesel-engined Mercedes.
Never mind that we, in fact, coined the term "Mercediesels"
Bella was convinced, and remained convinced, all the way to her grave, that it was "Mercediesels"
Back to my sister, about six years later, which would make her thirteen, to all you mathematicians
out there.
At some point, out of the blue, my sister asks me "Mark, does minjulepa mean oss?"
A few words of explanation are in order.
"Oss" was my sister's consciously amusing way of saying the word "ass".
Whenever she was asked a question that would begin with the word "Where?",
her response would more than likely be "Up oss".
Or, literally, "up your ass".
So I bewilderedly wrestled with the question "Does minjulepa mean oss?"
Then she put it into context.
"You know, like in the song---"You give my old minjulepa kick, Mame"
I had to explain, not unpatronizingly, what a mint julep was, and how ungrammatical it
would have been if minjulepa DID mean oss.
It's as if you were singing "You give my old oss kick".
There was no room left for an "a".
I am also guilty of lyric butchery in the same manner, and of course, my sister has never let me
hear the end of it.
When I heard Janis Joplin sing "Me and Bobby McGee" for the first time, I questioned my sister
as to whether Janis was singing "Breathin's just another word for nuthin' left to lose",
or "Freedom's just another word for nuthin' left to lose".
My sister let me have it between the eyes.
"Breathin'?" "Breathin'?" What are you, a moron?
Now, I maintain that this example doesn't hold a candle to minjulepa or Mercediesels.
And it's not as if I was certain that it was "Breathin'"
I was just questioning it.
I think a case can actually be made for "Breathin'"
Not a very good one.
"Freedom" is certainly a vast upgrade.
But I confess to having had my doubts.
I don't usually solicit comments for the Comments section, but I'm somewhat curious as to
whether my family was unique in this regard, or whether examples like this are rampant among
my readers.
If so, I'd like to hear yours.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tying Up Loose Ends.
Speaking of all things Stooge-related, Kevin Pollak, on his Chat Show podcast recently, told a story which was totally fabricated.
Not that he did not bear witness to the story as it was told, but that the story he heard told was too funny to have any chance of being true.
When Pollak was younger, he was given the privilege of being invited to sit at the comedians table at the cafe portion of the Hollywood Improv, where Albert Brooks was holding court.
Albert Brooks' father was named Harry Einstein.
Harry Einstein's professional name was Parkyakarkus.
As Parkyakarkus, he was a very successful radio and film comedian, often working with Eddie Cantor.
Adding two and two together, this made Albert Brooks' given name Albert Einstein.
I'm sure the more well-known Albert Einstein would have conceded that Brooks was smarter than he was.
At least when it came to comedy.
So Pollak is listening to Brooks tell this story that night at the Hollywood Improv.
Pollak, who does a great Albert Brooks impression, tells it in the first person on his podcast:
"So I go to Forest Lawn Cemetery to visit my father's grave.
And I talk to him.
I tell him how much I miss him, and what a big influence he's been on my life.
I truly loved my father.
Now, directly to the left of my father's grave is the grave of Larry Fine, of the Three Stooges.
The headstone wasn't there last year.
He'd just been dead about a year.
But the headstone was there now.
So I then say a prayer in Hebrew to honor my father.
All of a sudden, seemingly from out of nowhere, Moe Howard appears, and walks up to
Larry Fine's grave.
Moe Howard just stands there, quietly, perhaps reverentially.
He just stands there.
For quite a while.
Then, suddenly, he almost literally explodes.
He pounces onto the turf in front of the headstone, and begins poking two fingers into the turf.
And, into the earth, he shouts 'Putz! How am I going to get work as a single?' "
I also caught up with Keith Olbermann when he made his appearance with Letterman.
He was extremely obtuse, and not at all forthcoming about his problems with Current TV and
why he got fired.
He kept referring to himself as a ten million dollar chandelier that did not fit it's surroundings.
Yet he seemingly took responsibility for what went wrong.
Not enough that he's not suing their collective brains out.
It seemed quite disingenuous.
He explained that he'd had a lot of throat problems, which accounted for his many absences,
but during the run of his show there, nobody, no substitute host, nor he, ever offered any excuse for his absences relating to health problems.
We were not getting anything close to the full story here.
I don't know what's going to happen with Keith, but I think it's a fairly good bet that he can go
just about anywhere, and begin poking two fingers just about anywhere, and say to himself-------
"Putz! How am I going to get work as a single?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Not that he did not bear witness to the story as it was told, but that the story he heard told was too funny to have any chance of being true.
When Pollak was younger, he was given the privilege of being invited to sit at the comedians table at the cafe portion of the Hollywood Improv, where Albert Brooks was holding court.
Albert Brooks' father was named Harry Einstein.
Harry Einstein's professional name was Parkyakarkus.
As Parkyakarkus, he was a very successful radio and film comedian, often working with Eddie Cantor.
Adding two and two together, this made Albert Brooks' given name Albert Einstein.
I'm sure the more well-known Albert Einstein would have conceded that Brooks was smarter than he was.
At least when it came to comedy.
So Pollak is listening to Brooks tell this story that night at the Hollywood Improv.
Pollak, who does a great Albert Brooks impression, tells it in the first person on his podcast:
"So I go to Forest Lawn Cemetery to visit my father's grave.
And I talk to him.
I tell him how much I miss him, and what a big influence he's been on my life.
I truly loved my father.
Now, directly to the left of my father's grave is the grave of Larry Fine, of the Three Stooges.
The headstone wasn't there last year.
He'd just been dead about a year.
But the headstone was there now.
So I then say a prayer in Hebrew to honor my father.
All of a sudden, seemingly from out of nowhere, Moe Howard appears, and walks up to
Larry Fine's grave.
Moe Howard just stands there, quietly, perhaps reverentially.
He just stands there.
For quite a while.
Then, suddenly, he almost literally explodes.
He pounces onto the turf in front of the headstone, and begins poking two fingers into the turf.
And, into the earth, he shouts 'Putz! How am I going to get work as a single?' "
I also caught up with Keith Olbermann when he made his appearance with Letterman.
He was extremely obtuse, and not at all forthcoming about his problems with Current TV and
why he got fired.
He kept referring to himself as a ten million dollar chandelier that did not fit it's surroundings.
Yet he seemingly took responsibility for what went wrong.
Not enough that he's not suing their collective brains out.
It seemed quite disingenuous.
He explained that he'd had a lot of throat problems, which accounted for his many absences,
but during the run of his show there, nobody, no substitute host, nor he, ever offered any excuse for his absences relating to health problems.
We were not getting anything close to the full story here.
I don't know what's going to happen with Keith, but I think it's a fairly good bet that he can go
just about anywhere, and begin poking two fingers just about anywhere, and say to himself-------
"Putz! How am I going to get work as a single?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Now Kids, Remember. The Stooges Are Trained Professionals.
That's what Officer Joe Bolton, who entered the set swinging his billy club on each episode of
the Three Stooges reruns on WPIX, Channel 11 in New York, would say to all the kids who were watching.
Many of whom took matters into their own hands by attempting to poke each other's eyes out.
This would take place after witnessing the Stooges do it in their films.
It was primarily a matter of nobody wanting to get sued.
Woo-WOO-Woo-Woo-Woo-Woo!
I'm certain that much damage was done along the way.
But that generation for the most part survived.
Hey Porcupine!
Now, a new movie is going to be opening really soon, that seems to be claiming to be in exactly
the same spirit as the originals, except without the original Stooges, all of whom are long since dead.
Spread Out!
Is this a good idea?
I suppose that it depends on what you thought of the Three Stooges to begin with.
I never thought much of them.
Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!
It has often been maintained that the Three Stooges always appealed far more to men than they did to women.
This makes sense.
Men seem to be much more attracted to gratuitous violence.
I guess my feminine side emerges here.
I never found the Three Stooges to be appealing or remotely funny.
So why did I watch it as a teenager?
Because it was the least objectionable programming.
That's why I ever took a gander at "My Little Margie".
Moe, Larry, the cheese!
When you don't find them to be remotely funny, the violence that was inflicted primarily
and invariably by Moe upon the others seemed literally painful.
Accentuated by quite jarring sound effects.
It all just seemed mean-spirited for it's own sake.
Why, you numbskull!
The Three Stooges always seemed to be funnier when you talked about them and what they did, than when you actually saw them.
Soitenly!
So is the movie actually a good idea?
Perhaps not aesthetically, but there are soitenly a lot of 14 year-old boys who love them, and are,
of course, after all, the motion picture industry's main target audience.
So it seems to be a good idea at least financially.
I'm a victim of soicumstance!
And it might even be funny.
It has oft been said that the Stooges never met a script that they would turn down.
This thing is helmed by the Farrelly Brothers.
Maybe no one would turn it down.
I try to think, but nothing happens!
Larry David and Jane Lynch are appearing in it.
That's quite an imprimatur.
The Brady Bunch Movie proved that in the right hands, something that was never funny CAN be.
Rrrowf! Rrrowf!"
There are purists out there who think that this is sacrilege.
That nobody should dare play the Stooges except the originals.
This is nonsense.
I saw a Broadway Show in the 80's called "A Day In Hollywood/A Night In the Ukraine".
The entire second half was devoted to a new Marx Brothers Musical.
I welcomed the notion, and had no trouble accepting new actors playing Harpo, Chico, and Groucho.
Except for the fact that the actor playing Groucho, David Garrison, sounded nothing at all like
Groucho, but instead sounded exactly like Edward G. Robinson.
But it still worked.
Nyah-ahh-ahh!
Moe and Curly are probably the most singularly famous names there are.
How many other Moe's do you know?
How many does anybody know?
Moe Greene from "The Godfather"?
That's stretching things a bit.
Curly from the musical "Oklahoma"?
Hardly.
There are plenty of Larrys, but no Curlys and no other Moe.
Except maybe Five Guys Named Moe.
That's also stretching things a bit.
And of course, there has never been another Shemp.
Okay, I guess Curly was funny. But Shemp, like the others, never was.
Quoting the Three Stooges is funny.
Which is probably why I've interspersed this essay with their quotes.
So maybe a Three Stooges Movie is a good idea. Maybe not.
I leave you with one thought:
B-A-bay, B-E bee, B-I biddy bye, B-O bo, biddy bye bo B-U boo,biddy bye bo boo!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
the Three Stooges reruns on WPIX, Channel 11 in New York, would say to all the kids who were watching.
Many of whom took matters into their own hands by attempting to poke each other's eyes out.
This would take place after witnessing the Stooges do it in their films.
It was primarily a matter of nobody wanting to get sued.
Woo-WOO-Woo-Woo-Woo-Woo!
I'm certain that much damage was done along the way.
But that generation for the most part survived.
Hey Porcupine!
Now, a new movie is going to be opening really soon, that seems to be claiming to be in exactly
the same spirit as the originals, except without the original Stooges, all of whom are long since dead.
Spread Out!
Is this a good idea?
I suppose that it depends on what you thought of the Three Stooges to begin with.
I never thought much of them.
Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!
It has often been maintained that the Three Stooges always appealed far more to men than they did to women.
This makes sense.
Men seem to be much more attracted to gratuitous violence.
I guess my feminine side emerges here.
I never found the Three Stooges to be appealing or remotely funny.
So why did I watch it as a teenager?
Because it was the least objectionable programming.
That's why I ever took a gander at "My Little Margie".
Moe, Larry, the cheese!
When you don't find them to be remotely funny, the violence that was inflicted primarily
and invariably by Moe upon the others seemed literally painful.
Accentuated by quite jarring sound effects.
It all just seemed mean-spirited for it's own sake.
Why, you numbskull!
The Three Stooges always seemed to be funnier when you talked about them and what they did, than when you actually saw them.
Soitenly!
So is the movie actually a good idea?
Perhaps not aesthetically, but there are soitenly a lot of 14 year-old boys who love them, and are,
of course, after all, the motion picture industry's main target audience.
So it seems to be a good idea at least financially.
I'm a victim of soicumstance!
And it might even be funny.
It has oft been said that the Stooges never met a script that they would turn down.
This thing is helmed by the Farrelly Brothers.
Maybe no one would turn it down.
I try to think, but nothing happens!
Larry David and Jane Lynch are appearing in it.
That's quite an imprimatur.
The Brady Bunch Movie proved that in the right hands, something that was never funny CAN be.
Rrrowf! Rrrowf!"
There are purists out there who think that this is sacrilege.
That nobody should dare play the Stooges except the originals.
This is nonsense.
I saw a Broadway Show in the 80's called "A Day In Hollywood/A Night In the Ukraine".
The entire second half was devoted to a new Marx Brothers Musical.
I welcomed the notion, and had no trouble accepting new actors playing Harpo, Chico, and Groucho.
Except for the fact that the actor playing Groucho, David Garrison, sounded nothing at all like
Groucho, but instead sounded exactly like Edward G. Robinson.
But it still worked.
Nyah-ahh-ahh!
Moe and Curly are probably the most singularly famous names there are.
How many other Moe's do you know?
How many does anybody know?
Moe Greene from "The Godfather"?
That's stretching things a bit.
Curly from the musical "Oklahoma"?
Hardly.
There are plenty of Larrys, but no Curlys and no other Moe.
Except maybe Five Guys Named Moe.
That's also stretching things a bit.
And of course, there has never been another Shemp.
Okay, I guess Curly was funny. But Shemp, like the others, never was.
Quoting the Three Stooges is funny.
Which is probably why I've interspersed this essay with their quotes.
So maybe a Three Stooges Movie is a good idea. Maybe not.
I leave you with one thought:
B-A-bay, B-E bee, B-I biddy bye, B-O bo, biddy bye bo B-U boo,biddy bye bo boo!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Saturday, March 31, 2012
At A Loss.
So last night, I tune in to "Countdown With Keith Olbermann", only to find someone else
sitting in his chair.
Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.
This doesn't shock me.
He's been in that seat before.
What does shock me is that the name of the show has been changed.
It is now called "Viewpoint With Eliot Spitzer".
No reference to why the change.
To once again paraphrase Chico Marx, I unnerstan' "Why-a-no chicken, I unnerstan' "Why-a-no horse".
I no unnerstan' "Why a change?"
And they no tell-a you.
There is no reference in the entire hour as to why it's no longer called "Countdown"
I didn't need much explanation as to why Keith Olbermann wasn't there.
For much of it's run on Current TV, Olbermann was NEVER there.
More often than you would expect, there was usually some substitute host.
Particularly for a new network just starting out, trying to find it's sea legs, and counting on
Olbermann to serve as it's anchor.
I watched the show every night.
No one ever explained Olbermann's absences, including Olbermann on the nights he returned.
As a viewer, I felt entitled to more information than I was getting.
I heard rumors of ill-health, throat problems.....
But if that was the case, it would be easily explainable on the air.
No, this sounded much more like intrigue, and possibly sabotage.
You know, the kind of thing that Olbermann claimed was happening to him at MSNBC before he left.
Later that night, I found a press release on the Internet from Al Gore and his partner,
who both own Current TV, that they had canned Olbermann for breach of contract.
The statement sounded pretty rancorous.
What had Olbermann done to piss off a nice man like Al Gore?
Al Gore has a history of being nice.
Keith Olbermann has had a history of pissing people off.
Even the Supreme Court, when denying Gore the Presidency, didn't seem to piss him off.
But Olbermann did.
Olbermann retorted that promises were made to him, like his having control of who preceded
and succeeded him on the air, and that he wouldn't have a simple black background behind him like Charlie Rose.
These seem to be the kinds of problems that one creates for oneself when you only have a fraction
of the audience you used to have.
It certainly didn't matter to me as a viewer.
Whenever I've been asked why I don't write about politics more often, I've usually replied
"Whatever I have to say about politics, Keith Olbermann says it better"
But there is no question that the man is a hothead, and there are plenty of folks on MSNBC who also express my political thoughts better than I do.
I hope Olbermann lands somewhere.
Somewhere where they make him show up every night.
He's still quite entertaining when he does.
He's appearing on Letterman Tuesday night, and I'd love to hear his side of things.
Why is all this happening?
I am at a loss to explain it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
sitting in his chair.
Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer.
This doesn't shock me.
He's been in that seat before.
What does shock me is that the name of the show has been changed.
It is now called "Viewpoint With Eliot Spitzer".
No reference to why the change.
To once again paraphrase Chico Marx, I unnerstan' "Why-a-no chicken, I unnerstan' "Why-a-no horse".
I no unnerstan' "Why a change?"
And they no tell-a you.
There is no reference in the entire hour as to why it's no longer called "Countdown"
I didn't need much explanation as to why Keith Olbermann wasn't there.
For much of it's run on Current TV, Olbermann was NEVER there.
More often than you would expect, there was usually some substitute host.
Particularly for a new network just starting out, trying to find it's sea legs, and counting on
Olbermann to serve as it's anchor.
I watched the show every night.
No one ever explained Olbermann's absences, including Olbermann on the nights he returned.
As a viewer, I felt entitled to more information than I was getting.
I heard rumors of ill-health, throat problems.....
But if that was the case, it would be easily explainable on the air.
No, this sounded much more like intrigue, and possibly sabotage.
You know, the kind of thing that Olbermann claimed was happening to him at MSNBC before he left.
Later that night, I found a press release on the Internet from Al Gore and his partner,
who both own Current TV, that they had canned Olbermann for breach of contract.
The statement sounded pretty rancorous.
What had Olbermann done to piss off a nice man like Al Gore?
Al Gore has a history of being nice.
Keith Olbermann has had a history of pissing people off.
Even the Supreme Court, when denying Gore the Presidency, didn't seem to piss him off.
But Olbermann did.
Olbermann retorted that promises were made to him, like his having control of who preceded
and succeeded him on the air, and that he wouldn't have a simple black background behind him like Charlie Rose.
These seem to be the kinds of problems that one creates for oneself when you only have a fraction
of the audience you used to have.
It certainly didn't matter to me as a viewer.
Whenever I've been asked why I don't write about politics more often, I've usually replied
"Whatever I have to say about politics, Keith Olbermann says it better"
But there is no question that the man is a hothead, and there are plenty of folks on MSNBC who also express my political thoughts better than I do.
I hope Olbermann lands somewhere.
Somewhere where they make him show up every night.
He's still quite entertaining when he does.
He's appearing on Letterman Tuesday night, and I'd love to hear his side of things.
Why is all this happening?
I am at a loss to explain it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Is It Just Me? Part Two.
So there I am, somewhere around the Indiana-Michigan border, entering a Subways sandwich shop.
For my usually sumptuous Tuna Fish Foot Long Hero.
For you connoisseurs, and I know you're out there, the only proper way to enjoy one of these
Tuna Fish heroes is to have the bread toasted, then have the tuna fish applied cold, then the
lettuce applied cold.
Cold onions are optional.
So I go in there.
There are three young black women working behind the counter.
I do not intend to cast any racial aspersions here.
I have certainly encountered quite a few young white women who were just as arrogant, and ignorant and clueless as this.
One of the young black women is dealing with the one customer who requires service, and is taking her order.
I go up to one of the other black women.
I attempt to place my order.
I get half a sentence out, only to be met with "There IS a line, sir".
I look around.
I see no line.
Only this one woman who is already being served.
I ask the magic question: "Where?"
She replies "Right there. Behind that woman.
To which I say: THAT WOMAN? That's the line?"
To which she replies: "That's right"
This prompts me to say: You mean it takes three of you to take care of this one woman's order?
Not one of you can be spared to take care of MY order?"
To which she replies: "That's how it works at Subway. (pointing) She takes the order, then she makes the sandwich, then I ring up the sale."
So that's how it works at Subway.
Funny, I've been at a whole lot of Subways in my life, and most of them didn't even have three
people working behind the counter.
Black, or women, or otherwise.
And I never encountered this sort of protocol.
But let's assume for a moment that I'd NEVER been inside a Subway before.
And that there was a universal protocol, and that I wasn't aware of it.
And I went to the woman who rings up the sale rather than the one who takes the order.
Is "There IS a line, sir" really the most ingratiating way to encourage further business?
Wouldn't "I'm sorry sir, but that woman takes the orders. You have to start with her first"
make the customer feel less rude and less like an idiot?
Speaking of idiocy, I place my order, and woman #2, the sandwich maker, the specialist, asks me
what kind of bread I'd like.
I tell her "Italian"
Then, in an unprecedented move, she opens the elongated Italian bread and begins dutifully plopping the appropriate number of hunks of tuna into it.
Not asking me if I want the bread toasted.
In all my previous Subway experiences, they have ALWAYS asked me if I wanted the bread toasted.
So I volunteer the information that I want the bread toasted.
She says "Fine" and continues to plop the hunks of tuna onto the untoasted bread.
I point out that at this juncture, she's supposed to ask me if I wanted the tuna toasted along with it.
I had to explain that I didn't, and that this applies to the lettuce as well, because among my
acquaintances, I knew of very few who appreciated hot lettuce.
I ended up with what I wanted, toasted bread, cold tuna, cold lettuce, all not without many moments of disbelief, and then attempted to proceed to the woman who started it all with "There IS a line, sir".
She asked, is there anything else, sir?
I was clearly holding up my unopened bottle of Diet Coke, which she did not look up to notice.
I could have easily said "No" and she wouldn't have been any the wiser.
But I chose to play it by the book, and say, "You might notice that I have a bottle of Diet Coke in
my hand"
She rang it up, along with my sandwich, and I was on my way back to Detroit.
With my opinion of humanity once again lowered.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
For my usually sumptuous Tuna Fish Foot Long Hero.
For you connoisseurs, and I know you're out there, the only proper way to enjoy one of these
Tuna Fish heroes is to have the bread toasted, then have the tuna fish applied cold, then the
lettuce applied cold.
Cold onions are optional.
So I go in there.
There are three young black women working behind the counter.
I do not intend to cast any racial aspersions here.
I have certainly encountered quite a few young white women who were just as arrogant, and ignorant and clueless as this.
One of the young black women is dealing with the one customer who requires service, and is taking her order.
I go up to one of the other black women.
I attempt to place my order.
I get half a sentence out, only to be met with "There IS a line, sir".
I look around.
I see no line.
Only this one woman who is already being served.
I ask the magic question: "Where?"
She replies "Right there. Behind that woman.
To which I say: THAT WOMAN? That's the line?"
To which she replies: "That's right"
This prompts me to say: You mean it takes three of you to take care of this one woman's order?
Not one of you can be spared to take care of MY order?"
To which she replies: "That's how it works at Subway. (pointing) She takes the order, then she makes the sandwich, then I ring up the sale."
So that's how it works at Subway.
Funny, I've been at a whole lot of Subways in my life, and most of them didn't even have three
people working behind the counter.
Black, or women, or otherwise.
And I never encountered this sort of protocol.
But let's assume for a moment that I'd NEVER been inside a Subway before.
And that there was a universal protocol, and that I wasn't aware of it.
And I went to the woman who rings up the sale rather than the one who takes the order.
Is "There IS a line, sir" really the most ingratiating way to encourage further business?
Wouldn't "I'm sorry sir, but that woman takes the orders. You have to start with her first"
make the customer feel less rude and less like an idiot?
Speaking of idiocy, I place my order, and woman #2, the sandwich maker, the specialist, asks me
what kind of bread I'd like.
I tell her "Italian"
Then, in an unprecedented move, she opens the elongated Italian bread and begins dutifully plopping the appropriate number of hunks of tuna into it.
Not asking me if I want the bread toasted.
In all my previous Subway experiences, they have ALWAYS asked me if I wanted the bread toasted.
So I volunteer the information that I want the bread toasted.
She says "Fine" and continues to plop the hunks of tuna onto the untoasted bread.
I point out that at this juncture, she's supposed to ask me if I wanted the tuna toasted along with it.
I had to explain that I didn't, and that this applies to the lettuce as well, because among my
acquaintances, I knew of very few who appreciated hot lettuce.
I ended up with what I wanted, toasted bread, cold tuna, cold lettuce, all not without many moments of disbelief, and then attempted to proceed to the woman who started it all with "There IS a line, sir".
She asked, is there anything else, sir?
I was clearly holding up my unopened bottle of Diet Coke, which she did not look up to notice.
I could have easily said "No" and she wouldn't have been any the wiser.
But I chose to play it by the book, and say, "You might notice that I have a bottle of Diet Coke in
my hand"
She rang it up, along with my sandwich, and I was on my way back to Detroit.
With my opinion of humanity once again lowered.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Is It Just Me? Part One.
From the title of this article, one might get the impression that I am about to go off on some wild tangent about something that really annoys me about something that really bugs me about something going on in the world.
Or at least in these United States.
And one would be correct.
And that I am about to take a crap on someone or ones, and/or something.
And one would be correct about that as well.
I am not, and have never been, a fan of Fast Food.
I have never needed my food to be particularly fast.
For me, slow and steady has usually been enough to win the race.
There are, and have been exceptions.
When I began my drive from Detroit to Chicago early Saturday morning to appear at the
Hollywood Collectors Show, I of course stopped off at the McDonalds right off the Interstate for two Egg McMuffins. I brought my own Orange Juice.
Tropicana. Which I like better.
But the Egg McMuffins are the only things I can eat off the overall McDonalds menu.
And I really enjoy them.
I tried a Big Mac once in my life, and couldn't get the smell of the alleged "meat" off of my hands for about two weeks, using lots of Boraxo in my attempts to succeed.
And for some reason, McDonalds stops serving Breakfast at 10:30am.
Because, as we all know, nobody EVER wants to have breakfast at 10:32 in the morning.
So it's only the Early Bird that is capable of catching the Egg McMuffin.
I guess somebody on the McD's corporate level figured out that no matter how many latecomers wanted an Egg McMuffin (which for some reason that I don't remember, I've always referred to as an Ed McMahon) it was better for them to clear the decks of breakfast items and start gearing up for the lunch crowd.
Let me once again iterate that I will never simply leave my house in the AM for the express purpose of getting my hands on Egg McMuffins.
It has always involved either a long-distance driving or flying situation, when I'm leaving early in the morning.
The actress Mai Britt, who was once married to Sammy Davis Jr., and is a good friend of mine, used to live in the Lake Tahoe area in the 90's, as did I.
She didn't do hardly any traveling in those days.
But she was ritualistic in seeking out the local McDonalds in the morning.
She craved the Ed McMahons.
It didn't matter to her whether or not they were fast food or slow food.
She just craved them.
And she'd wait as long as necessary, if necessary, which usually wasn't necessary.
With me, it was purely something I indulged in in transit.
There is another chain of Fast Food places that I have always been particularly partial to:
Subways Sandwich Shops.
The home of the Foot Long Heroes.
I've liked just about everything about it:
The quality of the food.
Their very low prices.
Kind of the Bizarro World Starbucks.
Don't get me started on Starbucks.
Subway's service had always been excellent---efficient and courteous.
I stopped off at a Subways on the way back from Chicago, at around the Indiana-Michigan border, and attempted to get my usual: A tuna fish hero, and a bottle of Diet Coke.
I love the Subways tuna fish hero.
The bottle of Diet Coke was no better or worse than any other I have tried.
But what ensued at this particular Subways on this particular day was totally dismaying, and unfortunately an indication of the way the world is going.
More about the ensuing next time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
The McDonalds are at virtually every exit at every interstate highway in the country.
I like to be able to drive through and quickly get my hands on the McMahons.
One of the few times that speed comes in handy.
As is the case when I am attempting to catch a flight in the early AM.
Or at least in these United States.
And one would be correct.
And that I am about to take a crap on someone or ones, and/or something.
And one would be correct about that as well.
I am not, and have never been, a fan of Fast Food.
I have never needed my food to be particularly fast.
For me, slow and steady has usually been enough to win the race.
There are, and have been exceptions.
When I began my drive from Detroit to Chicago early Saturday morning to appear at the
Hollywood Collectors Show, I of course stopped off at the McDonalds right off the Interstate for two Egg McMuffins. I brought my own Orange Juice.
Tropicana. Which I like better.
But the Egg McMuffins are the only things I can eat off the overall McDonalds menu.
And I really enjoy them.
I tried a Big Mac once in my life, and couldn't get the smell of the alleged "meat" off of my hands for about two weeks, using lots of Boraxo in my attempts to succeed.
And for some reason, McDonalds stops serving Breakfast at 10:30am.
Because, as we all know, nobody EVER wants to have breakfast at 10:32 in the morning.
So it's only the Early Bird that is capable of catching the Egg McMuffin.
I guess somebody on the McD's corporate level figured out that no matter how many latecomers wanted an Egg McMuffin (which for some reason that I don't remember, I've always referred to as an Ed McMahon) it was better for them to clear the decks of breakfast items and start gearing up for the lunch crowd.
Let me once again iterate that I will never simply leave my house in the AM for the express purpose of getting my hands on Egg McMuffins.
It has always involved either a long-distance driving or flying situation, when I'm leaving early in the morning.
The actress Mai Britt, who was once married to Sammy Davis Jr., and is a good friend of mine, used to live in the Lake Tahoe area in the 90's, as did I.
She didn't do hardly any traveling in those days.
But she was ritualistic in seeking out the local McDonalds in the morning.
She craved the Ed McMahons.
It didn't matter to her whether or not they were fast food or slow food.
She just craved them.
And she'd wait as long as necessary, if necessary, which usually wasn't necessary.
With me, it was purely something I indulged in in transit.
There is another chain of Fast Food places that I have always been particularly partial to:
Subways Sandwich Shops.
The home of the Foot Long Heroes.
I've liked just about everything about it:
The quality of the food.
Their very low prices.
Kind of the Bizarro World Starbucks.
Don't get me started on Starbucks.
Subway's service had always been excellent---efficient and courteous.
I stopped off at a Subways on the way back from Chicago, at around the Indiana-Michigan border, and attempted to get my usual: A tuna fish hero, and a bottle of Diet Coke.
I love the Subways tuna fish hero.
The bottle of Diet Coke was no better or worse than any other I have tried.
But what ensued at this particular Subways on this particular day was totally dismaying, and unfortunately an indication of the way the world is going.
More about the ensuing next time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
******
The McDonalds are at virtually every exit at every interstate highway in the country.
I like to be able to drive through and quickly get my hands on the McMahons.
One of the few times that speed comes in handy.
As is the case when I am attempting to catch a flight in the early AM.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The Odd Couple Unexpectedly Meets Bilko. Part Six.
Okay.
I'm at Newark Airport in 1982, waiting to board my flight back to Ohio.
There is a huge rainstorm, accompanied by thunder and lightning.
I am in the process of shitting in my pants.
Then, I hear the magic words from the podium:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are in an oversold situation.
Anyone who is willing to give up his or her seat will receive $200 to be applied to a future flight, free lodging at an airport hotel, a meal voucher, and we will guarantee you a seat on the first flight going out in the morning".
They had me at "oversold".
My hand immediately went up.
I raced up to the podium, willing to trample anyone who got there ahead of me.
Fortunately, it didn't come to that.
I got there first.
The transaction was completed, and with a major sigh of relief, I got taken by the shuttle to a nearby airport hotel, courtesy of the airline.
I called my then-wife with whom I shared the domicile in Ohio, to let her know that I wasn't coming home that night.
Then, I settled in, picked up a newspaper which contained the TV listings.
Let me point out at this point that this was before cable.
There were seven local stations that could be found in the New York metropolitan area.
That's it.
Seven.
Three network stations, one PBS station, and three independents.
I noticed that at 11pm, Channel 9, one of the independents, was showing a Sergeant Bilko rerun.
Bilko reruns were very rare. Even in New York.
They just didn't air them very often.
By now, they have almost completely vanished from the airwaves.
But even in 1982, they were pretty rare.
So life got even better.
I was going to get to see an episode of "Bilko".
I probably hadn't seen one in about five years.
Eleven o'clock rolls around.
The Bilko episode starts.
What do you know?
It's the "$64,000 Question episode.
Bilko in the bandages.
The one I ripped off, er, paid homage to.
I was delighted.
Now, what I'm about to tell you is the absolute truth.
I've mentioned before that Jack Paar, when he was about to tell some outlandish story, would preface it by saying "If we don't have trust, we have nothing".
Then, he would go on and completely bullshit the audience.
But I'm counting on your trust, and I am not bullshitting you.
"The Odd Couple was a huge hit in syndication, and Channel 11 would run two episodes back to back from 11pm to midnight.
It's the way almost an entire younger generation of fans discovered it.
I had no interest in watching the "Odd Couple" episode, having seen all the ones I'd worked on, and not being impressed with the ones I hadn't.
But during Bilko's first commercial, just out of idle curiosity, I switched to
Channel 11, just to see which episode of "The Odd Couple" was being run.
As God is my judge, it was the Theatre Critic episode.
Oscar in the bandages.
They were going head to head.
The original, and the show that borrowed heavily from it.
And I knew that at approximately twenty after eleven, if you flipped back and forth from Channel 9 to Channel 11, and you had to do it by hand because this was even before there were remotes, you would see Bilko in the bandages, and Oscar in the bandages.
Bilko in the bandages, and Oscar in the bandages.
And I realized that I was the only person in the entire New York metropolitan area who would be doing that, because I was the only person in the New York metropolitan area who knew what was going on.
What are the odds?
They made 238 episodes of Bilko, and 165 episodes of The Odd Couple.
That alone makes it nearly impossible for this coincidence to take place.
Add to that the fact that they easily could have shown the Theatre Critic episode in the 11:30 slot, which would mean they weren't going head to head.
Add to that the fact that I hadn't been to New York for about three years and did not expect to stay overnight to see this.
And I wasn't going to be in New York any other night in the near future.
You could call it all a coincidence if you want to, but that night in Newark convinced me to this day that the universe is not random.
What are the odds?
My most optimistic view of it all is that Nat Hiken, always my main comedy God, actually WAS God.
And he was trying to tell me that I did good.
That there was actually room in the comedy universe for two versions of sitcoms that featured a leading character in bandages, and that it was, in fact, homage.
But that's just me being optimistic.
Who knows what the truth really is?
I can only cling to my optimism, and a new-found faith that turned me from an agnostic to a near-Hassidic.
I say near, because I haven't changed my wardrobe or grown a beard.
I've even considered becoming a Baptist.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
I'll be at the Hollywood Collectors Show in Chicago this weekend, hawking the paperback.
If you're in the area, and would like to say hello, I'd love to meet and talk with you.
I'll probably be resurfacing here on Tuesday.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
I'm at Newark Airport in 1982, waiting to board my flight back to Ohio.
There is a huge rainstorm, accompanied by thunder and lightning.
I am in the process of shitting in my pants.
Then, I hear the magic words from the podium:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are in an oversold situation.
Anyone who is willing to give up his or her seat will receive $200 to be applied to a future flight, free lodging at an airport hotel, a meal voucher, and we will guarantee you a seat on the first flight going out in the morning".
They had me at "oversold".
My hand immediately went up.
I raced up to the podium, willing to trample anyone who got there ahead of me.
Fortunately, it didn't come to that.
I got there first.
The transaction was completed, and with a major sigh of relief, I got taken by the shuttle to a nearby airport hotel, courtesy of the airline.
I called my then-wife with whom I shared the domicile in Ohio, to let her know that I wasn't coming home that night.
Then, I settled in, picked up a newspaper which contained the TV listings.
Let me point out at this point that this was before cable.
There were seven local stations that could be found in the New York metropolitan area.
That's it.
Seven.
Three network stations, one PBS station, and three independents.
I noticed that at 11pm, Channel 9, one of the independents, was showing a Sergeant Bilko rerun.
Bilko reruns were very rare. Even in New York.
They just didn't air them very often.
By now, they have almost completely vanished from the airwaves.
But even in 1982, they were pretty rare.
So life got even better.
I was going to get to see an episode of "Bilko".
I probably hadn't seen one in about five years.
Eleven o'clock rolls around.
The Bilko episode starts.
What do you know?
It's the "$64,000 Question episode.
Bilko in the bandages.
The one I ripped off, er, paid homage to.
I was delighted.
Now, what I'm about to tell you is the absolute truth.
I've mentioned before that Jack Paar, when he was about to tell some outlandish story, would preface it by saying "If we don't have trust, we have nothing".
Then, he would go on and completely bullshit the audience.
But I'm counting on your trust, and I am not bullshitting you.
"The Odd Couple was a huge hit in syndication, and Channel 11 would run two episodes back to back from 11pm to midnight.
It's the way almost an entire younger generation of fans discovered it.
I had no interest in watching the "Odd Couple" episode, having seen all the ones I'd worked on, and not being impressed with the ones I hadn't.
But during Bilko's first commercial, just out of idle curiosity, I switched to
Channel 11, just to see which episode of "The Odd Couple" was being run.
As God is my judge, it was the Theatre Critic episode.
Oscar in the bandages.
They were going head to head.
The original, and the show that borrowed heavily from it.
And I knew that at approximately twenty after eleven, if you flipped back and forth from Channel 9 to Channel 11, and you had to do it by hand because this was even before there were remotes, you would see Bilko in the bandages, and Oscar in the bandages.
Bilko in the bandages, and Oscar in the bandages.
And I realized that I was the only person in the entire New York metropolitan area who would be doing that, because I was the only person in the New York metropolitan area who knew what was going on.
What are the odds?
They made 238 episodes of Bilko, and 165 episodes of The Odd Couple.
That alone makes it nearly impossible for this coincidence to take place.
Add to that the fact that they easily could have shown the Theatre Critic episode in the 11:30 slot, which would mean they weren't going head to head.
Add to that the fact that I hadn't been to New York for about three years and did not expect to stay overnight to see this.
And I wasn't going to be in New York any other night in the near future.
You could call it all a coincidence if you want to, but that night in Newark convinced me to this day that the universe is not random.
What are the odds?
My most optimistic view of it all is that Nat Hiken, always my main comedy God, actually WAS God.
And he was trying to tell me that I did good.
That there was actually room in the comedy universe for two versions of sitcoms that featured a leading character in bandages, and that it was, in fact, homage.
But that's just me being optimistic.
Who knows what the truth really is?
I can only cling to my optimism, and a new-found faith that turned me from an agnostic to a near-Hassidic.
I say near, because I haven't changed my wardrobe or grown a beard.
I've even considered becoming a Baptist.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
I'll be at the Hollywood Collectors Show in Chicago this weekend, hawking the paperback.
If you're in the area, and would like to say hello, I'd love to meet and talk with you.
I'll probably be resurfacing here on Tuesday.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
The Odd Couple Unexpectedly Meets Bilko. Part Five.
We're at the top of the stretch with this story now.
One more post after this, and it will be wrapped up.
We shot and aired the Odd Couple Theatre Critic Show, with a wonderful assist
from Sergeant Bilko, and it's great Show Runner, Nat Hiken, in 1974.
Eight years later, it suddenly became 1982.
I was living in Ohio, for the sole purpose of trying to keep a marriage together.
It was a marriage that wasn't worth keeping together.
I knew it then, I know it now.
Chalk it up to "Idiocy"
When you don't live on either coast, your career becomes a disappearing act.
People quickly forget you're alive.
I had a relationship with the great comedian Alan King, who was also a producer, and
had a sitcom development deal with CBS.
Alan King did this great routine called "Survived By Widow", which was written by my friend, the late, great Harry Crane.
It was all about how women invariably outlive their husbands.
He would continually read from actual Obituaries of men, the last line of which would always be "Survived by widow"
Alan was no exception. He died at 76, survived by his widow, Jeanette.
Several years earlier I had a sitcom development deal with CBS.
And Alan didn't.
Now, he did, and I didn't.
I saw him as a way to shoehorn my way back into CBS.
I had a pilot that I wanted to pitch to him.
A pilot, by the way, that bore no resemblance to anything done on either "The Odd Couple" or "Sergeant Bilko".
Alan King's offices were in New York City.
Alan King was quite receptive to meeting me to hear my pilot, so I didn't have to make up a reason to get on a plane to leave that hellhole I had in Ohio, at least for a day.
The meeting was set up for 3pm on an afternoon in August.
My flight got in at noon.
And I knew that 3pm meant that no food would be brought in.
Too late for lunch, and too early for dinner.
So I went to the Carnegie Deli, the best of many fine New York Delis, certainly better than anything you could find anywhere else.
And it was rush hour for lunch, and there were lines to get in, and there were panhandlers working the street right outside, and I endeared myself to them by saying things like "No accosting!!"
This was in the pre-Giuliani days, when the city was quite slovenly.
Then you got in, and were jammed next to total strangers, and hustled in and out by the rudest waiters imaginable.
And it was all worth it, because that's how good the food was.
I had the best Pastrami Sandwich in the world, with it's perfect accompaniment,
Dr. Brown's Diet Black Cherry Soda (like that's going to help.)
So I show up at Alan's office at 3pm, and pitch my pilot.
Alan is very receptive.
We make plans to schedule a meeting with the Brass at CBS.
So around 4:30, rush hour, I head back to Newark Airport.
I get there, with just a little time to spare.
On what was a spectacular day weather-wise, storm clouds were starting to develop.
It immediately became ominous.
Thunder and lightning ensued.
I'm not good with flying in general, even if it does mean leaving Ohio.
But I was heading back to Ohio.
So I was even worse with flying in general.
Then the hand of God took over.
Deus ex Machina.
And it led to an event so astounding, so unbelievable, that it shook me to my very foundation.
This will be reported next time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
One more post after this, and it will be wrapped up.
We shot and aired the Odd Couple Theatre Critic Show, with a wonderful assist
from Sergeant Bilko, and it's great Show Runner, Nat Hiken, in 1974.
Eight years later, it suddenly became 1982.
I was living in Ohio, for the sole purpose of trying to keep a marriage together.
It was a marriage that wasn't worth keeping together.
I knew it then, I know it now.
Chalk it up to "Idiocy"
When you don't live on either coast, your career becomes a disappearing act.
People quickly forget you're alive.
I had a relationship with the great comedian Alan King, who was also a producer, and
had a sitcom development deal with CBS.
Alan King did this great routine called "Survived By Widow", which was written by my friend, the late, great Harry Crane.
It was all about how women invariably outlive their husbands.
He would continually read from actual Obituaries of men, the last line of which would always be "Survived by widow"
Alan was no exception. He died at 76, survived by his widow, Jeanette.
Several years earlier I had a sitcom development deal with CBS.
And Alan didn't.
Now, he did, and I didn't.
I saw him as a way to shoehorn my way back into CBS.
I had a pilot that I wanted to pitch to him.
A pilot, by the way, that bore no resemblance to anything done on either "The Odd Couple" or "Sergeant Bilko".
Alan King's offices were in New York City.
Alan King was quite receptive to meeting me to hear my pilot, so I didn't have to make up a reason to get on a plane to leave that hellhole I had in Ohio, at least for a day.
The meeting was set up for 3pm on an afternoon in August.
My flight got in at noon.
And I knew that 3pm meant that no food would be brought in.
Too late for lunch, and too early for dinner.
So I went to the Carnegie Deli, the best of many fine New York Delis, certainly better than anything you could find anywhere else.
And it was rush hour for lunch, and there were lines to get in, and there were panhandlers working the street right outside, and I endeared myself to them by saying things like "No accosting!!"
This was in the pre-Giuliani days, when the city was quite slovenly.
Then you got in, and were jammed next to total strangers, and hustled in and out by the rudest waiters imaginable.
And it was all worth it, because that's how good the food was.
I had the best Pastrami Sandwich in the world, with it's perfect accompaniment,
Dr. Brown's Diet Black Cherry Soda (like that's going to help.)
So I show up at Alan's office at 3pm, and pitch my pilot.
Alan is very receptive.
We make plans to schedule a meeting with the Brass at CBS.
So around 4:30, rush hour, I head back to Newark Airport.
I get there, with just a little time to spare.
On what was a spectacular day weather-wise, storm clouds were starting to develop.
It immediately became ominous.
Thunder and lightning ensued.
I'm not good with flying in general, even if it does mean leaving Ohio.
But I was heading back to Ohio.
So I was even worse with flying in general.
Then the hand of God took over.
Deus ex Machina.
And it led to an event so astounding, so unbelievable, that it shook me to my very foundation.
This will be reported next time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The Odd Couple Unexpectedly Meets Bilko. Part Four.
So, with the image of Phil Silvers as Bilko, his head wrapped in bandages, appearing on the $64,000 Question, I took the Great Circle Route of "What if, after Felix has found out that Oscar has used him, in effect, betrayed his trust, to write his theater reviews for him, and instead of staying mad at him, starts reveling in his power, enjoying becoming a taste-maker, has the ultimate curve thrown at him, and (by the way) Oscar.
Oscar is invited to go on television on a panel discussion to discuss the state of theatre with other critics.
He knows he'd be an embarrassment, and exposed as a fraud.
Felix comes to the rescue: "What if tell you that I have the craziest idea I've ever had, but it just might work?
Oscar, desperate at this point, is willing to try anything.
Cut to: The TV panel discussion.
Real theatre critics are there.
John Simon, Dan Sullivan, and others.
Along with them are Felix and Oscar.
Oscar has his face wrapped in bandages, just like Bilko.
They go on the air, and Felix is introduced as Oscar's dentist, and announces that Oscar has just had four wisdom teeth pulled, so the best he can do is mumble his answers to Felix, and Felix will "translate" for him, actually giving his own erudite opinions.
Only they're not so erudite.
Every time he pulls Oscar to him to "mumble" his answers for Felix to "translate",
Felix says something abusive to his fellow critics.
Even something misogynistic to a female critic.
And of course, the critics all blame Oscar, thinking that these are his thoughts.
The other critics, totally offended at Oscar, walk off the show. leaving Oscar humiliated in bandages.
It was hilarious.
One of our best shows.
It got a great reaction from the studio audience.
Jay Sandrich, a great director, who directed this episode, came up to me afterwards, and said, "All right. Fess up. You did this whole show just to get Jack in the bandages".
I had to swear up and down that we had the first half of this show worked out for over a year, and couldn't beat it.
Until now, I never revealed that we paid Homage, or stole, from Bilko.
To this day, he doesn't believe me.
Now, I promised you from the beginning that this would be one of the greatest stories, if not THE greatest, that I have ever told you.
So far, it's been a pretty good story, but not one of the greatest I have ever told you.
But we're not done.
Something happened eight years later that puts it over the top.
And I'll get to it.
Just stay tuned.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
Oscar is invited to go on television on a panel discussion to discuss the state of theatre with other critics.
He knows he'd be an embarrassment, and exposed as a fraud.
Felix comes to the rescue: "What if tell you that I have the craziest idea I've ever had, but it just might work?
Oscar, desperate at this point, is willing to try anything.
Cut to: The TV panel discussion.
Real theatre critics are there.
John Simon, Dan Sullivan, and others.
Along with them are Felix and Oscar.
Oscar has his face wrapped in bandages, just like Bilko.
They go on the air, and Felix is introduced as Oscar's dentist, and announces that Oscar has just had four wisdom teeth pulled, so the best he can do is mumble his answers to Felix, and Felix will "translate" for him, actually giving his own erudite opinions.
Only they're not so erudite.
Every time he pulls Oscar to him to "mumble" his answers for Felix to "translate",
Felix says something abusive to his fellow critics.
Even something misogynistic to a female critic.
And of course, the critics all blame Oscar, thinking that these are his thoughts.
The other critics, totally offended at Oscar, walk off the show. leaving Oscar humiliated in bandages.
It was hilarious.
One of our best shows.
It got a great reaction from the studio audience.
Jay Sandrich, a great director, who directed this episode, came up to me afterwards, and said, "All right. Fess up. You did this whole show just to get Jack in the bandages".
I had to swear up and down that we had the first half of this show worked out for over a year, and couldn't beat it.
Until now, I never revealed that we paid Homage, or stole, from Bilko.
To this day, he doesn't believe me.
Now, I promised you from the beginning that this would be one of the greatest stories, if not THE greatest, that I have ever told you.
So far, it's been a pretty good story, but not one of the greatest I have ever told you.
But we're not done.
Something happened eight years later that puts it over the top.
And I'll get to it.
Just stay tuned.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Odd Couple Unexpectedly Meets Bilko. Part Three.
So I was digging for gold and found it in the Bilko goldmine.
I harkened back to an episode of Bilko where it was established that one of the platoon members, played by Fred Gwynne, was an expert on birds.
He had been trapped in an igloo in Alaska for over a year, with only the Audobon book of birds to keep him company.
So he knew every page in it from cover to cover.
Every word, every sentence, every picture, every comma, every stain, every smudge.
Bilko successfully gets him on the $64,000 Question.
This was obviously before America learned that the major quiz shows, and this one in particular, were rigged.
Fred Gwynne makes it all the way to winning $32,000.
The last plateau before going for the $64,000 Question.
Does he quit, or risk it all and go for the whole enchilada?
A no brainer.
There's nothing he doesn't know about birds.
Except------during the ensuing week, he gets bumped on the head.
A bump that knocks all the birds out of his head.
Bilko, undaunted, attempts to take advantage of the rules.
For the last question, you're allowed to bring a guest expert into the isolation booth with you.
Yes Virginia, they had an isolation booth.
Bilko books a hotel room directly across the street from the TV studio.
The platoon is there en masse, armed with every book on birds.
And, for no particular reason, the occasional stuffed owl and eagle.
They have a radio transmitter.
Bilko is to go on with Fred Gwynne as the guest expert, with the receiver from the transmitter in his ear.
In order to hide the receiver from view, he wraps the entire sides of his face, inluding his ears, in bandages.
When asked about it, he claims that it's the result of an old war wound.
During the questioning, the platoon feeds Bilko the answers.
Bilko whispers the correct answers to Gwynne.
Then, the transmitter and receiver short-circuit, causing a minor explosion.
This causes Bilko to faint, and drop out of sight.
And it brings Gwynne out of his amnesia, causing him to naturally rattle off the correct answers.
It was a memorable and hilarious episode.
And it was the image of Bilko in the bandages that gave me the way to beat the Odd Couple Theatre Critic story.
Next time, how this was accomplished.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if you're interested.
******
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
The Odd Couple Unexpectedly Meets Bilko. Part Two.
So we had half a story sitting on the shelf for over a year and weren't able to beat it.
Oscar has to fill in for the Theatre Critic at the paper, feels underqualified, sends Felix to the theater instead, picks his brain about the play when he gets home, then phones in what Felix says about it as his review, Felix then finds out and confronts Oscar about it.
That's what we had. So then what?
"So then what" encompasses the entire second half of the story and the show.
And we didn't have "So then what?" for over a year.
And we knew that if we could figure out "So then what?", it would probably be great.
Billy Wilder occasionally wrote movies for Ernst Lubitsch to direct.
Billy Wilder idolized Ernst Lubitsch.
Billy Wilder had a framed sign on the wall of his office that read "What would Lubitsch do?"
When Billy Wilder was on the set, directing one of his movies, and couldn't see the framed sign on the wall of his office, and found himself with a problem he couldn't solve, he would come right out and ask himself "What would Lubitsch do?"
The way Billy Wilder felt about Lubitsch is the way I felt about Nat Hiken, the great Show Runner and Creator of "Sergeant Bilko" and "Car 54, Where Are You?"
And after a fruitless year of trying to beat the Theatre Critic story, I finally decided to emulate Billy Wilder and ask the magic question :
What would Nat Hiken do?
Now, you could call it Homage, or less charitably, you could call it Stealing.
I tend to be more charitable and call it Homage.
I wracked my encyclopedic brain, recalling every episode of "Bilko" and "Car 54" until I finally came up with a major element from an episode of "Bilko" that more than did the trick.
And we had an entire story.
Next time, I'll divulge what we stole, er, paid homage to.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if your interested.
******
Friday, March 9, 2012
The Odd Couple Unexpectedly Meets Bilko.
I've been writing about Phil Silvers lately, and I have long been aware that I've been holding back on telling easily my best Phil Silvers story ever.
Perhaps my best story ever.
Depending on how much rambling I do, it will take at least two segments to tell it.
It takes three steps to create a "Story " for a sitcom episode.
First, there is such a thing as a "Springboard ", or a "Notion ".
It usually takes the form of "What if?"
Once, on "The Odd Couple ", it took the form of "What if Oscar has
to fill for the Theatre Critic at his newspaper? "
That's a springboard.
It's one I came up with.
If you extend it to "What if Oscar has to fill in for the Theatre Critic at his newspaper, and he feels underqualified, so he sends Felix to the theater in his place, without telling him why, because he's embarrassed, and picks Felix's brain about it when he comes home, so Oscar can write his review?"
This is still a springboard, but it begins to approach an "Idea".
If you add to all of this that Felix finds out about the ruse and confronts Oscar about it, this is a full-fledged idea.
But it's not yet a story.
A story demands a beginning, a middle, and an end.
What I described above is a beginning, and some of the middle.
It's enough to get you the midway point of an episode.
It needed the rest of the middle, and an ending.
Then, you've got a story.
We had what we had for over a year, without being able to figure out the rest of the middle and the ending.
So half an outline sat on the shelf, into the next season, without anyone coming up with the solution.
Finally, by exploring the history of TV sitcoms, I found the way to complete the entire story.
Next time, among other things, I'll tell you how I got there.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if your interested.
******
Perhaps my best story ever.
Depending on how much rambling I do, it will take at least two segments to tell it.
It takes three steps to create a "Story " for a sitcom episode.
First, there is such a thing as a "Springboard ", or a "Notion ".
It usually takes the form of "What if?"
Once, on "The Odd Couple ", it took the form of "What if Oscar has
to fill for the Theatre Critic at his newspaper? "
That's a springboard.
It's one I came up with.
If you extend it to "What if Oscar has to fill in for the Theatre Critic at his newspaper, and he feels underqualified, so he sends Felix to the theater in his place, without telling him why, because he's embarrassed, and picks Felix's brain about it when he comes home, so Oscar can write his review?"
This is still a springboard, but it begins to approach an "Idea".
If you add to all of this that Felix finds out about the ruse and confronts Oscar about it, this is a full-fledged idea.
But it's not yet a story.
A story demands a beginning, a middle, and an end.
What I described above is a beginning, and some of the middle.
It's enough to get you the midway point of an episode.
It needed the rest of the middle, and an ending.
Then, you've got a story.
We had what we had for over a year, without being able to figure out the rest of the middle and the ending.
So half an outline sat on the shelf, into the next season, without anyone coming up with the solution.
Finally, by exploring the history of TV sitcoms, I found the way to complete the entire story.
Next time, among other things, I'll tell you how I got there.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen and Beyond if your interested.
******
Thursday, February 16, 2012
"Taste The Borscht". Part Two.
If you read the last post, you are now familiar with "Taste The Borscht".
When I was about twenty, and still living at home with my parents, my mother thought it would be a nice idea to have all my college friends, who were all still living at home with THEIR parents, over for a nice dinner.
My mother, Bella, considered herself the Perle Mesta of Flushing, New York.
Quite the party-giver.
She was making one of her specialties, meatballs and spaghetti.
During the preliminaries, before dinner was ready, my father, a pretty good joke-teller, decided to regale the assembled gathering with his rendition of the joke we now know as "Taste The Borscht".
He told it well, and got sincere laughs from the assembled gathering, which included my mother, Bella.
My mother, in typical Perle Mesta style, had set the dining room table quite elegantly.
Our best China, glassware, tablecloth, beautiful cloth napkins, etc.
But our best silverware was not out there.
In fact, NO silverware was out there.
The approximately eight of us, including my sister, were summoned to the table, after Bella's pronouncement of "Dinner is served".
She then brought out this huge bowl of meatballs and spaghetti.
Enough to feed an Army.
Or at least a fairly large Battalion.
She returned to the kitchen to bring out other food items.
At this point, my father couldn't resist.
He called out to where she was in the kitchen:
"Hon, come out here! Taste the spaghetti!
From the kitchen, we hear "What are you talking about?!
My father reiterates: "Taste the spaghetti!
Now, at this point, I should remind you that Bella was very much present in the room when my father did "Taste the Borscht".
From the kitchen: "I already tasted the spaghetti! It's fine!
From my father: "Just come out here, and taste the spaghetti!
Bella, indulging him, comes out of the kitchen, and after being totally oblivious to the fact that there is NO silverware out there, sticks her fingers in the bowl, pulls out many strands of spaghetti, puts them
in her mouth, and says "I told you it was fine. It's fine."
I, not being able to resist, immediately follow her lead.
I stick MY fingers in the bowl, pull out many strands of spaghetti,
put them in my mouth, and say "She told you it was fine. It's fine."
My sister, sitting to my right, then follows my lead, sticks HER
fingers in the bowl, pulls out many strands of spaghetti, puts them
in HER mouth and says "She told you it was fine. It's fine."
My three college chums immediately to her right individually follow suit in the precisely the same way:
"She told you it was fine. It's fine."
At this point, Bella, observing this, faces reality.
".......there's no silverware."
At which point, all of the rest of us raise our respective index fingers into the air, and simultaneously say "Aha!"
Truth is almost invariably better than fiction.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
When I was about twenty, and still living at home with my parents, my mother thought it would be a nice idea to have all my college friends, who were all still living at home with THEIR parents, over for a nice dinner.
My mother, Bella, considered herself the Perle Mesta of Flushing, New York.
Quite the party-giver.
She was making one of her specialties, meatballs and spaghetti.
During the preliminaries, before dinner was ready, my father, a pretty good joke-teller, decided to regale the assembled gathering with his rendition of the joke we now know as "Taste The Borscht".
He told it well, and got sincere laughs from the assembled gathering, which included my mother, Bella.
My mother, in typical Perle Mesta style, had set the dining room table quite elegantly.
Our best China, glassware, tablecloth, beautiful cloth napkins, etc.
But our best silverware was not out there.
In fact, NO silverware was out there.
The approximately eight of us, including my sister, were summoned to the table, after Bella's pronouncement of "Dinner is served".
She then brought out this huge bowl of meatballs and spaghetti.
Enough to feed an Army.
Or at least a fairly large Battalion.
She returned to the kitchen to bring out other food items.
At this point, my father couldn't resist.
He called out to where she was in the kitchen:
"Hon, come out here! Taste the spaghetti!
From the kitchen, we hear "What are you talking about?!
My father reiterates: "Taste the spaghetti!
Now, at this point, I should remind you that Bella was very much present in the room when my father did "Taste the Borscht".
From the kitchen: "I already tasted the spaghetti! It's fine!
From my father: "Just come out here, and taste the spaghetti!
Bella, indulging him, comes out of the kitchen, and after being totally oblivious to the fact that there is NO silverware out there, sticks her fingers in the bowl, pulls out many strands of spaghetti, puts them
in her mouth, and says "I told you it was fine. It's fine."
I, not being able to resist, immediately follow her lead.
I stick MY fingers in the bowl, pull out many strands of spaghetti,
put them in my mouth, and say "She told you it was fine. It's fine."
My sister, sitting to my right, then follows my lead, sticks HER
fingers in the bowl, pulls out many strands of spaghetti, puts them
in HER mouth and says "She told you it was fine. It's fine."
My three college chums immediately to her right individually follow suit in the precisely the same way:
"She told you it was fine. It's fine."
At this point, Bella, observing this, faces reality.
".......there's no silverware."
At which point, all of the rest of us raise our respective index fingers into the air, and simultaneously say "Aha!"
Truth is almost invariably better than fiction.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
"Taste The Borscht", Part One.
I had intended to tell you a story about my mother, involving the old standard joke, known in most Jewish circles as "Taste The Borscht."
I had assumed that most people I knew, most of them comedy witers, were familiar with the joke.
It turned out that hardly any of them were familiar with "Taste The Borscht".
So why on earth should my readers, most of whom are not comedy writers, be familiar with it?
As a result, today will be devoted to the telling of the joke, and next time will be devoted to how it involved my mother.
So here's "Taste The Borscht":
A little old Jewish man goes into Katz's delicatessen on the Lower Easr Side of New York City.
The waiter, another little old Jewish man, approaches him to take his order.
Customer: Bring me a bowl of Matzoh Ball soup.
Waiter: (Leaning into him) You don't want the Matzoh Ball soup.
Customer: Yes I do. Bring me a bowl of Matzoh Ball soup.
Waiter: Trust me. You don't want the Matzoh ball Soup.
Customer: So what do I want?
Waiter: Try the Borscht.
Customer: The Borscht?
Waiter: (With a wink) The Borscht.
Customer: All right. Bring me the Borscht.
Waiter: (Triumphantly) I'll bring you the Borscht.
The waiter is practically skipping into the kitchen to place the order.
Shortly, he returns with the Borscht.
Waiter: Doesn't it look great? Just like I told you?
Customer: I've got to hand it to you. It does look great.
Waiter: Would I steer you wrong?
The Waiter heads back to the kitchen. He is stopped by the customer.
Customer: Excuse me. Would you come back here please?
The Waiter returns.
Customer: Taste the Borscht.
Waiter: What do you mean, taste the Borscht?
Customer: Taste the Borscht.
Waiter: I don't have to taste the Borscht. I had a nice big bowl of it before you came in. It's delicious.
Customer: Taste the Borscht.
Waiter: (Finally indulging him) All right, I'll taste the Borscht.......where's the spoon?
Customer: (Pointing his finger in the air) Aha!!!!
And that's "Taste the Borscht".
Next time, I will demonstrate how my mother unwittingly took this joke to new heights.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
I had assumed that most people I knew, most of them comedy witers, were familiar with the joke.
It turned out that hardly any of them were familiar with "Taste The Borscht".
So why on earth should my readers, most of whom are not comedy writers, be familiar with it?
As a result, today will be devoted to the telling of the joke, and next time will be devoted to how it involved my mother.
So here's "Taste The Borscht":
A little old Jewish man goes into Katz's delicatessen on the Lower Easr Side of New York City.
The waiter, another little old Jewish man, approaches him to take his order.
Customer: Bring me a bowl of Matzoh Ball soup.
Waiter: (Leaning into him) You don't want the Matzoh Ball soup.
Customer: Yes I do. Bring me a bowl of Matzoh Ball soup.
Waiter: Trust me. You don't want the Matzoh ball Soup.
Customer: So what do I want?
Waiter: Try the Borscht.
Customer: The Borscht?
Waiter: (With a wink) The Borscht.
Customer: All right. Bring me the Borscht.
Waiter: (Triumphantly) I'll bring you the Borscht.
The waiter is practically skipping into the kitchen to place the order.
Shortly, he returns with the Borscht.
Waiter: Doesn't it look great? Just like I told you?
Customer: I've got to hand it to you. It does look great.
Waiter: Would I steer you wrong?
The Waiter heads back to the kitchen. He is stopped by the customer.
Customer: Excuse me. Would you come back here please?
The Waiter returns.
Customer: Taste the Borscht.
Waiter: What do you mean, taste the Borscht?
Customer: Taste the Borscht.
Waiter: I don't have to taste the Borscht. I had a nice big bowl of it before you came in. It's delicious.
Customer: Taste the Borscht.
Waiter: (Finally indulging him) All right, I'll taste the Borscht.......where's the spoon?
Customer: (Pointing his finger in the air) Aha!!!!
And that's "Taste the Borscht".
Next time, I will demonstrate how my mother unwittingly took this joke to new heights.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Worst Case Scenario.
Let's say that you've booked a cruise on a top of the line cruise ship.
Let's say it's the Costa Concordia.
Let's say you get on board at the appointed time.
Let's say that the ship's Captain, Captain Vinnie Boom Botz, (see Dangerfield, Rodney)decides to show off and steer the ship too close to shore and crashes it into the rocks , and the ship capsizes.
And between 25 and 55 people, possibly including you, drown.
But not Captain Boom Botz.
He's one of the first ones off the boat after the first scrape on the hull.
Would that not be the worst case scenario?
Probably not.
The worst case scenario if if ALL the passengers drown, and Captain Boom Botz survives.
This begs the question "So, what would be the BEST case scenario?"
In all honesty, I can't think of one.
I must say, I've never seen the point of cruises.
You end up spending time with people you'd never want to meet in real life.
There are other people on the boat whose express purpose is to sell you things you don't want.
My wife usually ends up spending way too much money at Art Auctions where they try to convince you that everything you purchase is a major bargain.
You also pay an exorbitant price to essentially eat your face off.
At least five meals a day.
If you don't have all five meals, you're not getting your money's worth.
It's like a floating Grossinger's.
So you usually get seasick, and spend time tossing at least two of those meals over the side.
So maybe Captain Boom Botz had the right idea, only not for the right reasons.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Let's say it's the Costa Concordia.
Let's say you get on board at the appointed time.
Let's say that the ship's Captain, Captain Vinnie Boom Botz, (see Dangerfield, Rodney)decides to show off and steer the ship too close to shore and crashes it into the rocks , and the ship capsizes.
And between 25 and 55 people, possibly including you, drown.
But not Captain Boom Botz.
He's one of the first ones off the boat after the first scrape on the hull.
Would that not be the worst case scenario?
Probably not.
The worst case scenario if if ALL the passengers drown, and Captain Boom Botz survives.
This begs the question "So, what would be the BEST case scenario?"
In all honesty, I can't think of one.
I must say, I've never seen the point of cruises.
You end up spending time with people you'd never want to meet in real life.
There are other people on the boat whose express purpose is to sell you things you don't want.
My wife usually ends up spending way too much money at Art Auctions where they try to convince you that everything you purchase is a major bargain.
You also pay an exorbitant price to essentially eat your face off.
At least five meals a day.
If you don't have all five meals, you're not getting your money's worth.
It's like a floating Grossinger's.
So you usually get seasick, and spend time tossing at least two of those meals over the side.
So maybe Captain Boom Botz had the right idea, only not for the right reasons.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Monday, January 2, 2012
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot? Part Two.
Okay.
So last November 7th, I receive an e-mail from Zisser, asking me for my mailing address.
Something I assumed he had.
Either I had mysteriously fallen out of his Rolodex, or he assumed that I had moved and didn't let him know about it.
It was a rather strange request, but I've received stranger.
I e-mail it back to him, no questions asked.
Then, around the day before Thanksgiving, I receive an engraved invitation to "Join the Newlyweds" at a Brunch to be held at Zisser's home in Florida, the next week.
His son, who I had met several times, was getting married.
Now, what's wrong with this picture?
Well, aside from the fact that this gave me very little time to respond, it made no mention of an actual wedding taking place, much less one that I was invited to.
I did not have to put on my Sherlock Holmes hat to quickly conclude that I was, in fact, on the "B" list.
People who were not invited to the wedding, but would perhaps accept this as a consolation prize.
And drop what they were doing to make travel plans to fly thousands of miles to attend a facockta Brunch.
After they were not invited to the wedding.
Could they have eloped?
If they had, wouldn't it be tactful to mention that in the invitation?
So elopement was doubtful.
Could my Wedding Invitation have been lost in the mail?
If it had, would there be some effort on Zisser's part to find out why I hadn't R.S.V.P.'d?
There wasn't.
It was obviously a rather cheap ploy to wangle a gift out of me for his kid.
None was forthcoming.
I ignored the invitation, and planned to ignore Zisser for the duration.
Then, early last week, I received a holiday greeting card from the Zissers, replete with pictures from the wedding, in which I was informed that it was held on November 19th.
A wedding to which, according to the form letter that accompanied it, not even made out to me personally, the immediate world was not only invited to, but attended in droves.
I consider this to be hard evidence that there was never any intention to invite me to this facockta wedding.
You don't ask for someone's mailing address on the 7th, where an invitation couldn't possibly be received before the 10th, and not expect the recipient not to be snubbed if the wedding is held on the 19th.
No, he was aiming to only invite me to the facockta Brunch.
If he'd invited me to the wedding, I most-likely wouldn't have gone, and I would have most-likely sent a gift.
I would have been just as happy not knowing about the wedding to begin with.
I'm not one of those old crabby Jews who get into "I invited him to mine, why didn't he invite me to his?"
I really couldn't give a crap about that.
What has gotten my dander up, and my dudgeon high, is that there was a conscious decision to not only snub me, but to try to treat me like an idiot in the process.
Zisser was trying to pull a fast one, not giving me enough credit to be able to figure out that I was on the "B" list.
Why he didn't invite me to begin with is anybody's guess.
Sending the follow-up card with the wedding picture and description is something I just chalk up to Zisser not thinking, or Zisser delegating the thinking to somebody else.
Somebody else who was not thinking.
Anyway, it's wonderful to not be thought of like that, whoever was not doing it.
It resulted in my simply getting my nose rubbed in it, which has always been the history between me and Zisser.
Also in the form letter was the expected braggadociotic cheeky blather about his daughter, the Bat Mitzvah girl from ten years previously, having just gotten her Phd. in Clinical Psychology and continuing her humanitarian ways in general, and how wonderful their just married son is, now that he's just joined the family law firm.
Undoubtedly the "Best Law Firm In The World"
The only rationale I can come up with for Zisser's actions is him thinking to himself "Why would anyone not consider it an honor to sit at the same table with the Greatest Family In The World, whether he was invited to the wedding or not?"
It doesn't fly.
Just like pigs can't fly.
Maybe Zisser's Bar Mitzvah picture is sitting somewhere in one of Zisser's closets in his house, turning into the Picture of Dorian Gray.
I am now certain that, as we have started to approach the finish line, I have finally nosed him out in the "Best Boy In The World" Sweepstakes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
So last November 7th, I receive an e-mail from Zisser, asking me for my mailing address.
Something I assumed he had.
Either I had mysteriously fallen out of his Rolodex, or he assumed that I had moved and didn't let him know about it.
It was a rather strange request, but I've received stranger.
I e-mail it back to him, no questions asked.
Then, around the day before Thanksgiving, I receive an engraved invitation to "Join the Newlyweds" at a Brunch to be held at Zisser's home in Florida, the next week.
His son, who I had met several times, was getting married.
Now, what's wrong with this picture?
Well, aside from the fact that this gave me very little time to respond, it made no mention of an actual wedding taking place, much less one that I was invited to.
I did not have to put on my Sherlock Holmes hat to quickly conclude that I was, in fact, on the "B" list.
People who were not invited to the wedding, but would perhaps accept this as a consolation prize.
And drop what they were doing to make travel plans to fly thousands of miles to attend a facockta Brunch.
After they were not invited to the wedding.
Could they have eloped?
If they had, wouldn't it be tactful to mention that in the invitation?
So elopement was doubtful.
Could my Wedding Invitation have been lost in the mail?
If it had, would there be some effort on Zisser's part to find out why I hadn't R.S.V.P.'d?
There wasn't.
It was obviously a rather cheap ploy to wangle a gift out of me for his kid.
None was forthcoming.
I ignored the invitation, and planned to ignore Zisser for the duration.
Then, early last week, I received a holiday greeting card from the Zissers, replete with pictures from the wedding, in which I was informed that it was held on November 19th.
A wedding to which, according to the form letter that accompanied it, not even made out to me personally, the immediate world was not only invited to, but attended in droves.
I consider this to be hard evidence that there was never any intention to invite me to this facockta wedding.
You don't ask for someone's mailing address on the 7th, where an invitation couldn't possibly be received before the 10th, and not expect the recipient not to be snubbed if the wedding is held on the 19th.
No, he was aiming to only invite me to the facockta Brunch.
If he'd invited me to the wedding, I most-likely wouldn't have gone, and I would have most-likely sent a gift.
I would have been just as happy not knowing about the wedding to begin with.
I'm not one of those old crabby Jews who get into "I invited him to mine, why didn't he invite me to his?"
I really couldn't give a crap about that.
What has gotten my dander up, and my dudgeon high, is that there was a conscious decision to not only snub me, but to try to treat me like an idiot in the process.
Zisser was trying to pull a fast one, not giving me enough credit to be able to figure out that I was on the "B" list.
Why he didn't invite me to begin with is anybody's guess.
Sending the follow-up card with the wedding picture and description is something I just chalk up to Zisser not thinking, or Zisser delegating the thinking to somebody else.
Somebody else who was not thinking.
Anyway, it's wonderful to not be thought of like that, whoever was not doing it.
It resulted in my simply getting my nose rubbed in it, which has always been the history between me and Zisser.
Also in the form letter was the expected braggadociotic cheeky blather about his daughter, the Bat Mitzvah girl from ten years previously, having just gotten her Phd. in Clinical Psychology and continuing her humanitarian ways in general, and how wonderful their just married son is, now that he's just joined the family law firm.
Undoubtedly the "Best Law Firm In The World"
The only rationale I can come up with for Zisser's actions is him thinking to himself "Why would anyone not consider it an honor to sit at the same table with the Greatest Family In The World, whether he was invited to the wedding or not?"
It doesn't fly.
Just like pigs can't fly.
Maybe Zisser's Bar Mitzvah picture is sitting somewhere in one of Zisser's closets in his house, turning into the Picture of Dorian Gray.
I am now certain that, as we have started to approach the finish line, I have finally nosed him out in the "Best Boy In The World" Sweepstakes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Friday, December 30, 2011
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot?
Considering the time of year it is, and in this specific instance, you bet your ass it should.
You are catching me today with my dander up.
If you were to look upwards, you would undoubtedly see my dander.
I am in particularly high dudgeon.
Again, if you were to look upward, that would be MY dudgeon you'd be staring at.
This one requires major backstory, and most-likely much expansiveness on my part.
When I was growing up, in public school, junior high, and high school, I had a very good friend.
Now he is simply an old acquaintance whom I'm now convinced should totally be forgot.
I'm only going to half out him.
I'll give you his last name.
It is Zisser.
I'm only doing this because after the major figurative slap in the face he gave me, my only other choice would be to physically confront him, literally slap his face, and challenge him to a duel.
And physically, I'm really not up to that.
So, figuring on the likelihood that he has Google Alert, his last name should be enough to call this to his attention.
I mean, what's the point of having a blog if you can't use it to settle scores with?
As a child, and as an adolescent, Zisser was always my stalking horse.
He was always a much better student than me.
He always got better grades than me.
I swear that by the time he was eleven years old, he had his career choice mapped out.
He was going to be a lawyer, just like his way-older brother.
I, of course, into my early twenties, had no idea what I wanted to be.
Zisser was the example I was supposed to follow, according to my mother.
Hanging on the foyer wall in his parents' apartment in Queens was his Bar Mitzvah picture.
Next to it, in his handwriting in magic marker, was his name, followed by, in quotes, "The Best Boy In The World".
I really couldn't argue with that.
As far as I could tell, he WAS the best boy in the world.
And he wasn't embarrassed that it was still hanging there throughout his college career.
I suppose I should have suspected then that this was the first sign that he would become a full-fledged terminal braggart.
With my mother, it was always "Why couldn't you graduate college in four years, and go on to law school, like Zisser?
Why is it taking you six, and you still don't know what you want to do with yourself?"
I had to explain to her, more than once, "Well, you see ma? It's simply because I am not the best boy in the world.
Zisser is. I don't stand a chance."
I would be met with "Well, don't you WANT to be the best boy in the world?"
I'd reply "Desperately. With all my heart. (And I meant it) But that title is already taken. I can't wrest it from him."
After college, Zisser and I kind of drifted apart.
He went on to law school, and I went on to nothing, until I
fell into writing.
We went to each other's weddings, each involving much travel, because we lived in different regions of the country.
I always sensed that there was some lingering competitiveness between us.
Particularly after I had made it big in TV writing.
And Zisser probably figured that even though he was now a successful lawyer, I could probably buy and sell him five times over.
And he'd have been right.
And it probably didn't sit well.
He followed all the rules. He got out of college in four years. I was headed for bumdom.
It didn't compute.
He should have been in a position to say "I told you so."
But I never gave him that opportunity.
The last time I saw Zisser was at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah, about ten years ago, in Florida, where they still live, and where that
fackockta "Best Boy in the World" Bar Mitzvah picture is probably still hanging on some wall in his house.
The event turned out to be a two-day orgy of self-congratulation and homage to this little girl of thirteen, who apparently was the greatest scholar and greatest humanitarian the world would ever see.
More and more examples of this were shared during this orgy.
I wonder if Zisser gave any thought to his guests, who also had daughters who were his daughter's contemporaries, who were perhaps not as scholarly or humanitarian as Zisser's.
Any thought that he might be rubbing their noses in it?
Like his "Best Boy In The World" picture was rubbing my nose in it?
So the title of "Best Girl In The World" was bestowed on her.
I think the mold of "Best Boy In The World" was first cast by
Zisser's way-older brother.
He became a major star defense attorney in Florida.
Zisser then joined his law firm, becoming an attorney specializing in divorce cases.
Cashing in on human misery, as it were.
Cleaning up, and cleaning up on, messy divorces.
His way-older brother was once featured on "A Current Affair", depicted as the crafty Jew lawyer who got his obviously guilty client off on a murder rap by outsmarting the other lawyer.
That was his job.
But maybe if he actually was the original "Best Boy In The World", he might have turned his talents to becoming a D.A.
What am I thinking?
That would require a major pay cut.
He's a member of my tribe.
So that would be out of the question.
These were my first indications that they both were perhaps not worthy of their titles.
Next, how I got slapped in the face, and why I'm slapping back.
I'll give you a hint.
It has to do with yet even more recent and substantial nose-rubbing.
Happy New Year, all!
Well, almost all.......
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
You are catching me today with my dander up.
If you were to look upwards, you would undoubtedly see my dander.
I am in particularly high dudgeon.
Again, if you were to look upward, that would be MY dudgeon you'd be staring at.
This one requires major backstory, and most-likely much expansiveness on my part.
When I was growing up, in public school, junior high, and high school, I had a very good friend.
Now he is simply an old acquaintance whom I'm now convinced should totally be forgot.
I'm only going to half out him.
I'll give you his last name.
It is Zisser.
I'm only doing this because after the major figurative slap in the face he gave me, my only other choice would be to physically confront him, literally slap his face, and challenge him to a duel.
And physically, I'm really not up to that.
So, figuring on the likelihood that he has Google Alert, his last name should be enough to call this to his attention.
I mean, what's the point of having a blog if you can't use it to settle scores with?
As a child, and as an adolescent, Zisser was always my stalking horse.
He was always a much better student than me.
He always got better grades than me.
I swear that by the time he was eleven years old, he had his career choice mapped out.
He was going to be a lawyer, just like his way-older brother.
I, of course, into my early twenties, had no idea what I wanted to be.
Zisser was the example I was supposed to follow, according to my mother.
Hanging on the foyer wall in his parents' apartment in Queens was his Bar Mitzvah picture.
Next to it, in his handwriting in magic marker, was his name, followed by, in quotes, "The Best Boy In The World".
I really couldn't argue with that.
As far as I could tell, he WAS the best boy in the world.
And he wasn't embarrassed that it was still hanging there throughout his college career.
I suppose I should have suspected then that this was the first sign that he would become a full-fledged terminal braggart.
With my mother, it was always "Why couldn't you graduate college in four years, and go on to law school, like Zisser?
Why is it taking you six, and you still don't know what you want to do with yourself?"
I had to explain to her, more than once, "Well, you see ma? It's simply because I am not the best boy in the world.
Zisser is. I don't stand a chance."
I would be met with "Well, don't you WANT to be the best boy in the world?"
I'd reply "Desperately. With all my heart. (And I meant it) But that title is already taken. I can't wrest it from him."
After college, Zisser and I kind of drifted apart.
He went on to law school, and I went on to nothing, until I
fell into writing.
We went to each other's weddings, each involving much travel, because we lived in different regions of the country.
I always sensed that there was some lingering competitiveness between us.
Particularly after I had made it big in TV writing.
And Zisser probably figured that even though he was now a successful lawyer, I could probably buy and sell him five times over.
And he'd have been right.
And it probably didn't sit well.
He followed all the rules. He got out of college in four years. I was headed for bumdom.
It didn't compute.
He should have been in a position to say "I told you so."
But I never gave him that opportunity.
The last time I saw Zisser was at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah, about ten years ago, in Florida, where they still live, and where that
fackockta "Best Boy in the World" Bar Mitzvah picture is probably still hanging on some wall in his house.
The event turned out to be a two-day orgy of self-congratulation and homage to this little girl of thirteen, who apparently was the greatest scholar and greatest humanitarian the world would ever see.
More and more examples of this were shared during this orgy.
I wonder if Zisser gave any thought to his guests, who also had daughters who were his daughter's contemporaries, who were perhaps not as scholarly or humanitarian as Zisser's.
Any thought that he might be rubbing their noses in it?
Like his "Best Boy In The World" picture was rubbing my nose in it?
So the title of "Best Girl In The World" was bestowed on her.
I think the mold of "Best Boy In The World" was first cast by
Zisser's way-older brother.
He became a major star defense attorney in Florida.
Zisser then joined his law firm, becoming an attorney specializing in divorce cases.
Cashing in on human misery, as it were.
Cleaning up, and cleaning up on, messy divorces.
His way-older brother was once featured on "A Current Affair", depicted as the crafty Jew lawyer who got his obviously guilty client off on a murder rap by outsmarting the other lawyer.
That was his job.
But maybe if he actually was the original "Best Boy In The World", he might have turned his talents to becoming a D.A.
What am I thinking?
That would require a major pay cut.
He's a member of my tribe.
So that would be out of the question.
These were my first indications that they both were perhaps not worthy of their titles.
Next, how I got slapped in the face, and why I'm slapping back.
I'll give you a hint.
It has to do with yet even more recent and substantial nose-rubbing.
Happy New Year, all!
Well, almost all.......
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Friday, December 9, 2011
Old Bread, Old Rolls. Part Five.
Frank Capra directed some really great movies.
"It Happened One Night"
"Mr. Deeds Goes To Town"
Mr. Smith Goes To Washington"
"You Can't Take It With You"
"Lady For a Day"
"Meet John Doe"
"Arsenic and Old Lace" (Cary Grant at his funniest)
and of course, "It's a Wonderful Life".
There was another great one, "American Madness", from 1932, which, upon viewing, seems to be the basis for "It's A Wonderful Life".
Capra was a major voice in the anti-colorization crusade that began when movies started being colorized.
As someone who shot most of his movies in black-and white, I suppose you can understand why.
Capra was always wrapping the American Flag around himself.
With colorization, he was wrapping "artisitic integrity" around himself.
Now, I've seen the colorized versions of "It's A Wonderful Life" and "Arsenic and Old Lace"
Not harmed artistically in the least.
They lost none of their integrity.
I think they were even improved.
There was nothing particularly aesthetic to their black and white nature.
But with Capra, it was a matter of "artistic integrity".
That's not the way he made them.
Funny, how when the two movies Capra made in color, the very good
"A Hole In The Head", and the absolutely stinking, in spite of Peter Falk's great performance, "Pocketful of Miracles", both showed up on televison a few years after they were made, when most viewers still had black and white TV sets, and the movies were cut up, and broken up for commercials, you didn't hear a peep out of Capra and his "artistic integrity".
He just scooped up his "Pocketful of Residuals" and kept his mouth shut.
Capra also made a slew of movies in the really early 30's that I've never seen, and would really like to.
There was an even bigger stinker, right out of the "Old Bread, Old Rolls" playbook, which showed where Capra really stood on "artistic integrity".
In 1934, Capra made a pretty good movie called "Broadway Bill".
It starred Warner Baxter as a down-on-his-luck horse trainer who invested his entire future on the outcome of a horserace, that included his horse, Broadway Bill.
Hence, the title.
In 1950, Capra decided to do a remake of "Broadway Bill".
It was called "Riding High"
He got Bing Crosby to do Warner Baxter's part.
And what Capra did was the cheapest-looking, chinciest, cheesiest example of "Old Bread, Old Rolls" that anyone can imagine.
He literally used at least half the footage from "Broadway Bill", not just racetrack stock footage, but complete scenes, with actors and dialogue, and cut it together with the new stuff he shot with Der Bingle.
The result was a schizoid looking movie, half of which looked like it was shot in the early 30's, with 30's looking automobiles, and telephones that required two hands to use them, intercut with footage that was obviously shot in the 50's.
One-handed telephones.
50's-looking automobiles.
Much clearer looking footage than the graininess of the early 30's footage.
There has always been a distinct difference between movies made in the 30's
and movies made in the 50's.
And it constantly kept bouncing back and forth between the two eras.
It was really jarring, and completely took you out of the story.
Many of the same supporting cast was used: Ward Bond, Margaret Hamilton, Douglas Dumbrille, Charles Lane, Raymond Walburn, Clarence Muse, Paul Harvey, Irving Bacon, and others.
And in the latter footage, they all looked significantly older.
So they kept looking older and younger. And younger and older.
You didn't need a trained eye to notice this.
There was even a scene where Capra, aware of the problem, staged it so that Crosby was talking to all these actors. who were facing him,
wearing hats, with their backs to the camera.
You only saw Crosby's face.
Why this movie was done with this overall approach is a mystery.
Maybe Capra owed the studio a picture, balked at the prospect, and wanted to deliver it as lazily as possible.
Or maybe they gave him a larger budget and he'd gain a "Pocketful of Extra Cash" he wouldn't have to spend making an entirely new movie.
Anyway, it was completely grotesque.
"Artistic Integrity" did not raise it's head in this instance.
Your honor, I submit that this was the most egregious example of "Old Bread, Old Rolls" ever perpetrated.
The equivalent of the Nuremburg Trials would have been appropriate.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
"It Happened One Night"
"Mr. Deeds Goes To Town"
Mr. Smith Goes To Washington"
"You Can't Take It With You"
"Lady For a Day"
"Meet John Doe"
"Arsenic and Old Lace" (Cary Grant at his funniest)
and of course, "It's a Wonderful Life".
There was another great one, "American Madness", from 1932, which, upon viewing, seems to be the basis for "It's A Wonderful Life".
Capra was a major voice in the anti-colorization crusade that began when movies started being colorized.
As someone who shot most of his movies in black-and white, I suppose you can understand why.
Capra was always wrapping the American Flag around himself.
With colorization, he was wrapping "artisitic integrity" around himself.
Now, I've seen the colorized versions of "It's A Wonderful Life" and "Arsenic and Old Lace"
Not harmed artistically in the least.
They lost none of their integrity.
I think they were even improved.
There was nothing particularly aesthetic to their black and white nature.
But with Capra, it was a matter of "artistic integrity".
That's not the way he made them.
Funny, how when the two movies Capra made in color, the very good
"A Hole In The Head", and the absolutely stinking, in spite of Peter Falk's great performance, "Pocketful of Miracles", both showed up on televison a few years after they were made, when most viewers still had black and white TV sets, and the movies were cut up, and broken up for commercials, you didn't hear a peep out of Capra and his "artistic integrity".
He just scooped up his "Pocketful of Residuals" and kept his mouth shut.
Capra also made a slew of movies in the really early 30's that I've never seen, and would really like to.
There was an even bigger stinker, right out of the "Old Bread, Old Rolls" playbook, which showed where Capra really stood on "artistic integrity".
In 1934, Capra made a pretty good movie called "Broadway Bill".
It starred Warner Baxter as a down-on-his-luck horse trainer who invested his entire future on the outcome of a horserace, that included his horse, Broadway Bill.
Hence, the title.
In 1950, Capra decided to do a remake of "Broadway Bill".
It was called "Riding High"
He got Bing Crosby to do Warner Baxter's part.
And what Capra did was the cheapest-looking, chinciest, cheesiest example of "Old Bread, Old Rolls" that anyone can imagine.
He literally used at least half the footage from "Broadway Bill", not just racetrack stock footage, but complete scenes, with actors and dialogue, and cut it together with the new stuff he shot with Der Bingle.
The result was a schizoid looking movie, half of which looked like it was shot in the early 30's, with 30's looking automobiles, and telephones that required two hands to use them, intercut with footage that was obviously shot in the 50's.
One-handed telephones.
50's-looking automobiles.
Much clearer looking footage than the graininess of the early 30's footage.
There has always been a distinct difference between movies made in the 30's
and movies made in the 50's.
And it constantly kept bouncing back and forth between the two eras.
It was really jarring, and completely took you out of the story.
Many of the same supporting cast was used: Ward Bond, Margaret Hamilton, Douglas Dumbrille, Charles Lane, Raymond Walburn, Clarence Muse, Paul Harvey, Irving Bacon, and others.
And in the latter footage, they all looked significantly older.
So they kept looking older and younger. And younger and older.
You didn't need a trained eye to notice this.
There was even a scene where Capra, aware of the problem, staged it so that Crosby was talking to all these actors. who were facing him,
wearing hats, with their backs to the camera.
You only saw Crosby's face.
Why this movie was done with this overall approach is a mystery.
Maybe Capra owed the studio a picture, balked at the prospect, and wanted to deliver it as lazily as possible.
Or maybe they gave him a larger budget and he'd gain a "Pocketful of Extra Cash" he wouldn't have to spend making an entirely new movie.
Anyway, it was completely grotesque.
"Artistic Integrity" did not raise it's head in this instance.
Your honor, I submit that this was the most egregious example of "Old Bread, Old Rolls" ever perpetrated.
The equivalent of the Nuremburg Trials would have been appropriate.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Old Bread. Old Rolls. Part Four.
Today's incident is the one that inspired this whole series of articles.
It's the one that reminded me of the original "Old Bread, Old Rolls" story, because it is so strikingly similar.
A couple of weeks ago, it was once again Pledge Week on your favorite and mine, my local PBS station in Detroit.
My wife had Tivoed a musical special called "Moments To Remember", a traipse down early 1950's Memory Lane.
I remember seeing it quite a few years ago, and enjoying it.
I even wrote about it here once, at some point.
So when my wife put it on for her mother to watch, I started to get caught up with it again.
Before they got to the body of the show, the hosts, Nick Clooney (Georgie's father) and Patti Page, informed us over and over that this was, in fact, NOT a rerun of the show that was on several years ago.
That it was in fact, an entirely new show.
Because they had had so much positive response from the first show, they decided to come out with an entirely new version.
This certainly peaked my interest, and had me hooked.
After a few new numbers that were not included in the original show, they started including retreads of numbers that were.
They had Julius La Rosa singing "Domani", using the same piece of videotape where his pocket handkerchief started out on the right side,
then magically switched to the left side.
Then he once again sang Eh, Cumpari".
Same piece of video.
Then, they once again shlepped out a 94 year-old Frankie Laine, to sing "That's My Desire".
Making no allusion to the fact that the man had died six years ago.
This was not part of a new show.
All in all, I'd say that at least 40% of the material was recycled from the previous special.
And the stuff that replaced it was decidedly inferior.
Stuff that obviously didn't make the cut for the original show, because that stuff lacked the quality of the stuff that did.
They shlepped out The DeCastro Sisters, whose one and only hit was "Teach Me Tonight", which they sang.
These were three women with ancient faces, each wearing wildly inappropriate teased jet-black wigs.
They were, in short, child-frighteners.
And they now have all since died.
One, as early as 2004.
So this number was shot back then.
They had simply gone to the vault of what was left over and exhumed it.
Again, not exactly new.
And, of course, no mention of anyone now being dead was mentioned.
They did an interesting interview with the pianist Roger Williams, who is now also dead.
No reference to that.
They had groups on that I had never heard of, who did cover versions of other people's hits.
We were not getting a "totally new show".
We were getting the dregs of what was left from the previous show, with filler from stuff we'd already seen.
Because they didn't HAVE enough material to put together an enirely new show.
PBS must have figured that the demographic was so old for this show that nobody would know the difference.
You know.
Just like "Old Bread and Old Rolls".
I have since thought of one more glaring example of "Old Bread, Old Rolls", perpetrated by the usually great director, Frank Capra.
He wasn't great this time.
More about it next time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
It's the one that reminded me of the original "Old Bread, Old Rolls" story, because it is so strikingly similar.
A couple of weeks ago, it was once again Pledge Week on your favorite and mine, my local PBS station in Detroit.
My wife had Tivoed a musical special called "Moments To Remember", a traipse down early 1950's Memory Lane.
I remember seeing it quite a few years ago, and enjoying it.
I even wrote about it here once, at some point.
So when my wife put it on for her mother to watch, I started to get caught up with it again.
Before they got to the body of the show, the hosts, Nick Clooney (Georgie's father) and Patti Page, informed us over and over that this was, in fact, NOT a rerun of the show that was on several years ago.
That it was in fact, an entirely new show.
Because they had had so much positive response from the first show, they decided to come out with an entirely new version.
This certainly peaked my interest, and had me hooked.
After a few new numbers that were not included in the original show, they started including retreads of numbers that were.
They had Julius La Rosa singing "Domani", using the same piece of videotape where his pocket handkerchief started out on the right side,
then magically switched to the left side.
Then he once again sang Eh, Cumpari".
Same piece of video.
Then, they once again shlepped out a 94 year-old Frankie Laine, to sing "That's My Desire".
Making no allusion to the fact that the man had died six years ago.
This was not part of a new show.
All in all, I'd say that at least 40% of the material was recycled from the previous special.
And the stuff that replaced it was decidedly inferior.
Stuff that obviously didn't make the cut for the original show, because that stuff lacked the quality of the stuff that did.
They shlepped out The DeCastro Sisters, whose one and only hit was "Teach Me Tonight", which they sang.
These were three women with ancient faces, each wearing wildly inappropriate teased jet-black wigs.
They were, in short, child-frighteners.
And they now have all since died.
One, as early as 2004.
So this number was shot back then.
They had simply gone to the vault of what was left over and exhumed it.
Again, not exactly new.
And, of course, no mention of anyone now being dead was mentioned.
They did an interesting interview with the pianist Roger Williams, who is now also dead.
No reference to that.
They had groups on that I had never heard of, who did cover versions of other people's hits.
We were not getting a "totally new show".
We were getting the dregs of what was left from the previous show, with filler from stuff we'd already seen.
Because they didn't HAVE enough material to put together an enirely new show.
PBS must have figured that the demographic was so old for this show that nobody would know the difference.
You know.
Just like "Old Bread and Old Rolls".
I have since thought of one more glaring example of "Old Bread, Old Rolls", perpetrated by the usually great director, Frank Capra.
He wasn't great this time.
More about it next time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.
******
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