Lou Carter

I may be one of only a handful of people who remembers Lou Carter.
He was a show business veteran when I was a kid.
He would show up on the Jack Paar "Tonight" Show, which I was fortunate enough to see when my parents thought I was asleep, and a bunch of appearances on "The Perry Como Variety Show" in the sixties.
Lou Carter was hilarious.
He was a songwriter, and his songs were of the parody variety, although they were totally original, music and lyrics.
And he was also a pianist and arranger for the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra.
But when he appeared on TV, it was under the guise of a character he created called
"Louie The Cabbie".
He dressed like a New York cab driver of the fifties(when they were all Jews), and wrote and sang some wonderful songs.
He put out a couple of albums, one of which, "Louie's Love Songs" requires your attention if you value your sense of humor.
One of the cuts on "Louie's Love Songs" begins with the lyric 
"Whattsamatter wit' me? 
Whattsamatter wit' choo?
Whattsamatter wit' all a you guys?
Why don't you get over there?"
They certainly don't write 'em like that any more.
Maybe they never did.
But here are the complete lyrics to my favorite Lou Carter song:

I got a rose between my toes
from walkin' barefoot tru the hothouse to you
pretty baby

I got a t'orn right near my corn
from walkin' barefoot tru the hothouse to you

And when I fell into the tomatoes
I seen her heart skip a beat

I knew that love was born
when she pulled the t'orn
of the flower out of my feet

I didn't even feel no pain
because there wasn't any rain in the sky
pretty baby

I didn't need no iodine
because the sun began to shine upon me

For now my feet feel glad and gay
ever since that lucky day
I got a rose between my toes
from walkin' barefoot tru the hothouse to you

(musical interlude)

I didn't even feel no pain
because there wasn't any rain in the sky
pretty baby

I didn't need no iodine
because the sun began to shine upon me

For now my feet feel glad and gay
ever since that lucky day
I got a rose between my toes
from walkin' barefoot tru the hothouse to you

It was as funny as it sounds.
Lou Carter died in 2006.
"Louie's Love Songs" can be found on "Spotify" and YouTube.
Do yourself a favor and check them out.
In the early 80's, Billy Crystal briefly attempted to resurrect Lou Carter's career when he had him appear on Crystal's short-lived variety show.
In a major production number, he enlisted Nell Carter and Robert Conrad to form a trio to perform
"I got a rose between my toes...",  as Lou looked on from his piano bench.
It was heaven.
Even Robert Conrad.
I am fortunate enough to own a copy of this video.
It's one of my more priceless possessions.

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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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Erin Moran.

Whenever I'm asked in public to talk about people I've worked with, the name that has seemed to come up most frequently is Erin Moran, who, as most of you know, played Joanie on "Happy Days".
Most of them were aware of what amounted to a very troubled drug-related, occasionally homeless life after "Happy Days" ended.
Some have even asked me if I could have given her any advice on how to straighten herself
out and avoid her ill-deserved or perhaps much-deserved fate.
The jury might still be out.
In her darkest, leanest days, she might have been a most grateful beneficiary of  "The Costco Buffet".
But that's all I've got.
During my entire working relationship with Erin, spanning about six years,  she and I never even exchanged greetings with each other.
Most of that time, she was a child.
But, I never gave her an acting note.
I don't recall anyone ever giving her an acting note.
She never seemed to need one.
Her work always seemed to me to be exemplary.
She was quite talented.
That even extended to out-and-out trash like "Joanie Loves Chachi".
Whatever creative problems existed there, and they were awesome, I'm guessing that very few were of her making.
That would leave Scott Baio and the writing.
Scott Baio has now become a punchline for bad sitcoms, and bad actors who support Trump.
I leave you to draw your own conclusions.
She certainly deserved better than that.
In her next life, I hope she gets it.
Anyway, don't ask me about Joanie anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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The Costco Buffet.

With Passover having just passed, it reminds me of when I was a teenager living in an apartment building in Flushing Queens.
There was no Costco at the time.
This severely pre-dated Costco.
I consider Costco perhaps the greatest advancement of the Twenty-First Century.
But back in the sixties, pre-Costco, annually, we were besieged by an ancient, Jewish man dressed with the ancient payiss and all forms of orthodoxia, would come to our door, and invariably open the conversation with "Money for Yontiff?" which was his way of begging for money, and using the Jewish holiday as the excuse.
If I was alone , I would simply turn him down, figuring that if he made it this long without my help ,the money I didn't have, he wouldn't miss.
If my sister was home, I would immediately pass him off to her, saying "a friend of yours is here".
She's still never forgiven me.
I've never wanted to see anybody go hungry, but he was never thin, so I never that concerned about him.
He must have long since passed, but it has occurred to met  that nobody enjoys the prospect of having to beg for food.
I am offering up a long term solution to the poverty problem, one that is totally self-sufficient in nature.
If you find yourself with that problem .these days, just scuffle up enough to acquire a Costco membership card.
Good for a year.  Over the course of a year, sell a few pints of blood.
That should pretty well set you up for life.
It will allow you to participate in the daily Costco buffet, which mostly consists of ladies in hairnets, passing out free samples of delicious well prepared, gourmet food samples.
You can eat enough daily that you'd simply be a glutinous pig if it wasn't enough to fill you up during the course of the day.
And you can keep coming back everyday.
You'll eat standing up, but it's a small price to pay.
You can look as raggedy as you care to, as Costco has no Dress Code.
That's half the battle.
Finding a place to live is up to you.
I can only do so much.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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The Top 17 Things That Make Me Laugh Harder Than Anything Else.

Whenever I'm looking to upgrade my mood, for whatever reason, these are the things that come to mind most often.
They can pretty much all be found on YouTube.
Some will be quite familiar to you.
Some might be rather obscure.
Why sixteen entries?
It's a rather arbitrary number.
I played around with other numbers, but none were just quite as funny.
Maybe I can be coaxed.
Anyway, by their nature, the list is in no particular order.

1) The last scene of the second "Newhart" series, when he wakes up next to Suzanne Pleshette, only to realize that everything about his second series (Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, etc.) was a dream.

2)  Sid Caesar and "The Haircuts" singing "You Are So Rare To Me" and the accompanying crazy dance.
Most Caesarian's would opt for "This is Your Story", but for me, it's diminishing returns.

3)  Jay Thomas making his annual appearance on "Letterman" to tell his "Lone Ranger" story.
     Boy, am I going to miss that.

4)  The "Gin Rummy" scene in "Born Yesterday".

5)  The Stateroom Scene from "A Night At The Opera"
      Aunt Minnie's Niece:  Is my Aunt Minnie in here?
      Groucho:  No,  but you can prowl around here if you wanna. You'll probably find somebody
      just as good!

6)  The Weenie King.  The world's oldest actor in one extended hilarious scene in Preston Sturges'
      "The Palm Beach Story".

7)   "Harry Speak-Up".  Bilko's salute to the trials and tribulations of drafting a monkey into      
        the Army.

8)  A scene from the series "Joe and Sons" ,wherein Jerry Stiller performing a eulogy, refers to the
     deceased's favorite Tuesday night parlor game, performed right after bowling.  It was called---
     "It Ain't Necessarily Beer"

9)  "The Chef of the Future".  Gleason and Carney.  The first fifteen minutes are a waste of time.
      Go right to the TV studio.  "Oooohh, it can core a apple!!!"

10)  "Who's On First?"  From the 1952 filmed Comedy Series they did.  Accept no substitutions.

11)    Stan Daniels.  Was a writer on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show."  They would always have him
         get up during audience breaks, introduce him as one of the great actors of the Yiddish Theater.
         He would sing his rendition of "Ole Man River".  Check it out on YouTube.

12)    The original "In-Laws".  Peter Falk and Alan Arkin.  The keyword is "Serpentine"

13)   Jack Carson and Betty Kean in a 1950 episode of "The Four Star Revue"  November, 1950.
         It's in the second half hour.  Three telephone booths. That's all you need to know.

14)   "The $65 Funeral.  Nicholas and May.  As funny and as smart as it gets.

15)    Bob and Ray.  "The Slow Talkers of America".  I'd be just as happy with "The World's Most
       Beautiful Face Contest".

16)  Ernie Kovacs performing "The Nairobi Trio".

17)   Last and certainly not least,  Jack Benny and Gisele Mackenzie's violin duet of "Getting To
        Know You",  where she constantly upstages him.
        He was such a master of timing.

If you think I left out something on the same level,  comment on this page, and I'd be happy to consider it, or berate it, depending on my mood.
I'm just here to guide you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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Rickles.

We lost Don Rickles today.
He made it to ninety.
A lot of people don't.
Rickles was officially a legend.
I'm going to attempt to backtrack about him some of the things I said that were less than complementary when he was alive, even though they still apply.
Rickles was at his best working opposite Carson, or Leno or Letterman.
They all brought the best in him and vice-versa, and would all roll over and play dead for him whenever he appeared with him
Even at his advanced age.  When all he had going for himself was '''hockey puck", and being stooped over.
No wonder they all loved him.
In Martin Scorcese's documentary about him, you saw a much smarmier side of him.
He was stooped over, and spent his whole act making fun of tourists.  Usually Japanese or blacks.
This is not a fair fight.
He'd shlep some of them up on stage and perform some semi-lewd acts upon them in the name of "good fun"
I witnessed this in person on casino comps, and he did it every time.
That was usually my cue to leave..
He had a reputation for being a "nice guy", but how nice could he have been when the last time I saw him, he had an opening act, the extremely talented Lorna Luft, who came on and did a tremendous first 45 minutes.  Without billing.  Nobody knew she was appearing.
But he did enough legendary things, at least before he was 70 years old, and made me laugh often enough to deserve his place as a show business icon.
I know I've made this rant before, but I felt it bore repeating.
But, after all, the man is dead.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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Victor, We Hardly Knew Ye.

So, I've been watching this mini-series on FX, "Feud: Bette and Joan".
I've found it to be highly entertaining.
It entails the shooting and aftermath of the film "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?".
There is much fun to be had here.
Aside from Susan Sarandon, who is doing a great star-turn, and Jessica Lange, doing likewise,
they have an actor portraying Victor Buono, who had a major supporting role in "Baby Jane".
His name is Domenic Burgess.
I had never heard of him.
Sarandon, as Bette Davis, objects to the casting of Buono, because he is a flaming homosexual
And that's how Burgess plays it.
To quote Seinfeld, not that there is anything wrong with that.
However, I worked with Victor Buono three times.
Twice on "The Odd Couple" TV series, and once on a pilot I produced with Rita Moreno.
He was brilliant and never mincing on any of these occasions.
I had no clue about his personal lifestyle when I was around him, and always found him to be supportive. 
He was always making suggestions to improve the writing, and they always did.
It was like having another very talented writer around to draw from.
I went to Wikipedia to see what I could learn about this, and it said that he lived a totally open
homosexual lifestyle. 
So okay.  I believe it.
But I have a feeling that he never flounced it, or minced it in public, particularly in 1962.
A far less tolerant time.
Perhaps it wasn't fair to portray him this way.
I'm just sayin'.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Great Weekend.

I had a great time at the Hollywood Celebrity Show over the weekend.
I sold a shitload of books (I'm Not Garbo, and one of my essay books).
People seemed very glad to see me, and me them.
I had a table next to Ed Asner and we hit it off immediately.
He has agreed to read one of my plays.
I ran in to Dawn Wells who did my other play twenty years ago, and still looks young enough to
do it in a new production.
And she has now grown into one of the older characters in my other play.
Thirty years ago, that part was done by Mitzi McCall.
Time plays funny tricks.
As I am now wheelchair bound, it was a great way for me to get out of the house.
And I can still direct either one of them by way of Skype.
I've proven that this can be done, and that I can do it.
I also met a major macher who works for Mayor Rahm Emanuel who is also reading the two plays, and professes to have major connections in Chicago theater.
We shall see.
Whatever happens, it was an extremely pleasant weekend.
If nothing happens from it, that's okay, too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leaving Astaire and Rogers in the Dust.

I never thought I'd ever hear myself saying this, but on at least one occasion,  I saw two people out-dance, out-sing, and outperform,  Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
It was only once, but direct comparisons could be made in the same number.
The pair in question are Karen Ziemba, one of my all-time fave Broadway dancer-singers, and
Scott Wise,  whom I didn't know by name, but had seen several times on Broadway in several musicals.
The number in question is "My One And Only Highland Fling".
From the movie "The Barkley's of Broadway".
Ziemba and Wise performed it at a gala 100th birthday party for Ira Gershwin, who wrote the lyrics for it.  The music was by Harry Warren.
This was twenty years ago.
The movie was produced by the top of the line MGM musical producer, Arthur Freed.
And written by the top of the line scriptwriters, Betty Comden, and Adolph Green.
It was nobody's finest work.
And it was originally written for Judy Garland.
I don't think it would have made much difference.
"My One And Only Highland Fling" is a lovely number.
It has, to nobody's surprise, a Scottish motif.
The problem with it, was, unless they gave the script a re-write, it did not belong in this movie.
It has the highly inventive "Shoes With Wings On", and very little else to recommend it musically except "My One and Only Highland Fling".
The problem with the number in the movie was that the characters that Fred and Ginger were playing, a married couple, was that they were the cinematic equivalent to the radio's The Bickersons.
The squabbled about everything,
From the beginning to the ending.
The most disagreeable couple you'd ever come across.
Only, of all things, Oscar Levant's bitter acerbity made it at all palatable.
So Fred and Ginger performed "Highland Fling" contemptuously toward each other.
Perhaps her less than him, but still, no joy, no exuberance.
Now, they're both on YouTube.
Go and watch Ziemba and Wise perform it.
Who knew this number had that kind of potential?
Utterly uplifting.
Utterly exuberant.
Ziemba has spent her entire career in New York, winning Tony's, and always deserving them.
And of course she does guest shots on "The Good Wife", and at least three "Law and Order's"
She was one of the great dancers.
At 59, she probably can't do what she did 20 years ago, but with the magic of YouTube, you can at least see what she was then.
And Wise is probably still a great dancer.
There's another parallel to be drawn.
At that same concert Ziemba and Wise performed "Put Me To The Test", which Gene Kelly and
Rita Hayworth performed in the movie "Cover Girl".
Now, nobody left anybody in the dust here, but the fact of the matter is that Rita Hayworth never did her own singing.
She was always dubbed.
Let's call this one a draw.        

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Semi-Immediate Plans.

In  exactly two weeks from today and tomorrow,  March 25th and 26th,  I will be appearing at the Hollywood Celebrity Autograph Show in downtown Chicago.
I will have my own table, where I will be happy to meet you, sign autographs, and offer my books for sale, autographing them personally with each purchase.
The books are "I'm Not Garbo", my novel,  my one work of fiction, and the best thing I've ever written, and Mark Rothman's Essays, a collection of essays that have long been removed from the blog, and which you've probably never read.
If I'm not enough of an attraction for you, consider this:  Angie Dickinson will be there.
Stephanie Powers will be there.  Ed Asner will be there.  Dawn "Mary Ann" Wells will be there.
Larry Thomas, the "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld, will be there.  Charlene Tilton from "Dallas" will be there. Richard Chamberlain will be there.
I don't know about you, but I want to see ALL of these people.
There will be many others. 
You can check out the whole list and get all the info at hollywoodshow.com/Chicago.
I look forward to seeing all of you,  whether you buy a book or not.
Now, there's no baseball yet, no football, it's a week before the NCAA Championship.
Those will be day games, so they can be Tivoed and watched at night.
So what better is there to do that weekend in Chicago?
I can't think of anything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's Make It A Fair Fight.

There's this new cable channel called CBS All-Access.
To promote it, along with a lot of old shows, they have this extension of "The Good Wife" called
"The Good Fight".
It has several elements of "The Good Wife"---Christine Baranski,  several other familiar cast members,  the tone and level of writing.
They offered the first hour on CBS Prime Time, for free.
But all episodes following cost seven bucks a month.
Now, I don't mind paying extra for extra programming on cable.
I have Netfllix, and Amazon Prime.
Both channels have tons of original programming.
CBS All Access only has "The Good Fight" and nothing else new.
Unless they get their act together, they'll never get their hands on my money.
At least give some indication that they are headed in that direction.
Otherwise,  I'll just have to wait until there is enough original programming that I want to see, so that I feel comfortable ordering CBS All access and begin binge-watching "The Good Fight"
This is my first threat.
I'm serious.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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Rothman's On The Case. (I.E. "There's Always A Woman")

First of all, it was a very entertaining show.
Particularly if you take my approach and watch it on half-hour tape delay, and skip through most of the technical awards.
Jimmy Kimmel seemed most at home as the host.
Made me  laugh out loud quite a few times.  Beginning with referring to Meryl Streep as "wildly overrated"
The highlight of the evening was when they brought out the women from "Hidden Figures" to give out the Best Documentary Award, accompanied by one of the original math geniuses whom the film the film was based on.
This was immediately followed by the lowlight of the evening: giving the award to the "O.J." documentary.  A film that only exists because of the most lurid, exploitative event of our times.
I mean, that woman, that pioneer, who did more for our country than most of us, was sitting on stage as those selfish producers were going through their  self- congratulatory flailings, celebrating two bloody murders, could just sit there and watch.

I found the "In Memoriam" segment particularly disturbing: mainly because of the unusually high ratio of honorees that I never heard of compared to those I has in previous years.
There were literally 21 people honored who I, I having spent a lifetime in show business, never heard of.
The list was literally sprinkled with publicists, and script supervisors, whilst---

Edward Albee--who wrote "Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf?"

Hugh O'Brian--Many movies, and Wyatt Earp, for chrissakes!

William Schallert---Patty Duke's father, more movie credits than just about anybody.

Gloria DeHaven---An actual movie star.

Fyvush Finkel---memorable in all of his appearances.

Marvin Kaplan---One of the movies' great character voices and faces.

Noel Neill---TV's most noteworthy Lois Lane.  Also appeared with Gene Kelly in "An American in Paris"

Abe Vigoda---Most memorable as Tessio in "The Godfather", then for all those years of people thinking he was dead when he wasn't.

Frank Sinatra, Jr.---Okay, he didn't do much in movies, but come on!  He was still Frank Jr.!
Don't we still want to make the old man happy?

Remove half of the "honorees" that you had and add these.  Then you got something.
This was just the tip of the iceberg.

Now, to the Warren Beatty matter:  We're missing the obvious here.  Beatty didn't read ANYTHING.
Emma Stone never let go of the card that had her name on it. 
She went right up to the mike in the press room and showed it off.
Do you really want to believe that there was a duplicate card?
That's Price Waterhouse's only job.
To avoid this kind of shit.
So what happened?
My best guess, and I think it's more than a guess,  is that Beatty, 80 years old, too vain to wear eyeglasses, blind as a bat, couldn't read the card, and showed it to Dunaway without giving it to her.
Dunaway, also known for her vanity and also blind as a bat also couldn't read it, but pro that she was, stepped up and read the card and she just guessed, and all hell broke loose.
I really don't like disparaging bats like this, but point out the flaws, here.  I'll listen.
Believe what you want.
I've got my story, and I'm sticking to it.
It's more fun to blame Faye Dunaway, anyway.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rothman's Picks for The Oscars, Part Six of Six.

Best picture:


“Arrival”  Really good.  I've seen better.

“Fences”  Well written, performed, and staged.

“Hacksaw Ridge”  A whole lot of fun.  In a thin year, I'd vote for it.

“Hell or High Water”  It's not a thin year.  Deserves consideration.

“Hidden Figures”  In the top three.  Important, complete news to me that it was an issue, great performances up and down the line.

“La La Land”  Lots of people liked it better than I did.

“Lion”  Most people liked it better than I did.

“Manchester by the Sea”  Even in a thick year, like this one, I could vote for it.

“Moonlight”  Not for me.


The Winner:  "Hidden Figures"   Just too meaningful and important, and well told, and well played.

Enjoy the show!  If I have anything to say about it afterwards,  I shall.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rothmans Picks For The Oscars, Part Five of Six.

Best director:

“La La Land,” Damien Chazelle   I really don't know what to make of most of these, although it certainly was lush, and I'm sure that's what he was going for.  I wish I liked the picture better.

“Hacksaw Ridge,” Mel Gibson  He really kept up the tension well in a nicely crafted job.

“Moonlight,” Barry Jenkins  The direction had no effect on me.

“Manchester by the Sea,” Kenneth Lonergan  The closest thing we have here to art.
It's harder to be artful about prople.

“Arrival,” Denis Villeneuve  The second closest thing we have here to art.  When you're making a picture about aliens, the art bar is automatically set lower.


The Winner:  Kenneth Lonergan.

This film deserves recognition, and this is a good way to do it.
My second choice would be Mel Gibson, but I hear he still hates the Jews.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rothman's Oscar Picks, Part Four of Six.

Best Actor:

Casey Affleck, “Manchester by the Sea”   Terrific performance.  If he wasn't a sexual predator, he'd be a lock.

Andrew Garfield, “Hacksaw Ridge”  Really good, but not overwhelming.

Ryan Gosling, “La La Land,”  Harkening back to yesterday, he was good, but was no Gene Kelly, no
Fred Astaire, no Donald O'Connor, no Mickey Rooney, no Robert Preston, hell, not even a friggin'
Van Johnson.  And where are their Best Actor Oscars?  Okay, Bing won for "Going My Way", but that was primarily not a musical. 
And Rex Harrison won for "My Fair Lady", if you call that singing.  I don't.

Viggo Mortensen, “Captain Fantastic” Didn't see it, never heard of it, and on general principles, would never vote for anyone named Viggo.
 
Denzel Washington, “Fences”  Great as usual.  It's a two-horse race.  And with all these black nominees, I'd like to not be considered a racist. 
I'm hoping he did not do anything inappropriate with his dick, like Cosby.

The Winner:  Denzel.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rothman's Oscar Picks, Part Three of Six.

Best Actress:

Isabelle Huppert, “Elle”  This is one of the few DVDs they didn't send me.  I have a feeling it wouldn't have made a difference.  Most Academy voters don't see everything,  but vote anyway.

Ruth Negga, “Loving”  Don't know the woman, but she seemed genuinely disinterested in what she was doing.

Natalie Portman, “Jackie”  I knew Jackie Kennedy.  She was no Jackie Kennedy.

Emma Stone, “La La Land”  Yeah, she was good, but she was no Eleanor Powell, no Cyd Charisse,

no Vera-Ellen, no Debbie Reynolds, no Alice Faye, no Leslie Caron, no Jane Powell--so where are their Academy Awards?  I know, Ginger Rogers, but that wasn't for a musical.

Meryl Streep, “Florence Foster Jenkins”  The best we have, in perhaps her greatest performance.
And an even better musical performance than Emma Stone.

The Winner:  Streep.  No one else is even in the race.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rothman's Oscar Picks, Part Two of Six.

Best Supporting actor:

Mahershala Ali, “Moonlight”--Was unaffected by the movie, thus the performance. 

Jeff Bridges, “Hell or High Water”---One of those lifetime achievement awards.  I like voting for those, especially if I love the performance, which I did.

Lucas Hedges, “Manchester by the Sea”---Really good, but no real body of work.   Way too young.
Needs more of a resume.

Dev Patel, “Lion”---If anything, this should have been in the Best Actor Category.  But it didn't belong there either.

Michael Shannon, “Nocturnal Animals"---Made about 12 movies last year, and was great in all of them.  I can't get enough of him."Nocturnal Animals is probably his best so far.



The Winner---Jeff Bridges.  Shannon will probably make 12 more movies this year.  His time will come.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rothman's Picks For The Oscars, In Six Parts.

Each day, from now until Oscar Night, I will offer my selections for the awards, in six categorties.
Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Supporting Actor, Best Director, and Best Picture.
These are purely biased choices, based purely on my opinions.
This is not about who I think will win.
It's only about who I'd vote for.
First,
Best Supporting Actress. 

Viola Davis Fences---Really strong. 

Naomie Harris, Moonlight---Overmatched.

Nicole Kidman, Lion---Didn't like the movie, although she helped, but not enough. 

Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures-Great, and worthy.
Michelle Williams, Manchester ByThe Sea-Totally emotoioally wrenching.

The winner: Michelle Williams.  Not even close.

Sorry for the different colors. 
I didn't know how to fix it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Report Card---"Touched With Fire"

This is a top quality film about two bi-polars who fall in love, and "what's to become of them"
They want to get married and have a  family, but is it fair to the child, or children?
There's certainly a lot to chew on here.  And it's done thoughtfully and intelligently.

On to the scoring:   

Is it interesting?

Quite.
A.

Compelling even?

Often
A.

Is it a story worth telling?

Certainly.
A.

Is it good storytelling?

Excellent
A.

Is it well written?

Very much so.
A.

Is it well cast? Well played?

Katie Holmes is terrific as the female lead.  Casting is first rate'
A+.

Well shot?

Yes.
A.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

Dunno.
B.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale and time period?

Early.
A.

Is it too long? Too short?

Perfect.
A.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?.

Yes, and absolutely.
A+.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

It reached a crossroads at the end, and I didn't see it coming.
A.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

It's a topic that continually haunts me.
A.

Is it funny?

When it's appropriate.
A.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

I think so.
A.

Is it impressive?

Extremely.
A.

Overall grade: A.

Deserved more attention at awards time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Report Card---"The Meddler"

Oh dear, another chick flick.  And what's more, a particularly bad one.
It stars Susan Sarandon, who  I usually adore.
But she used a very affected New York accent.
She was terrible.
I've never witnessed this before.
It was shocking.

On to the scoring:   

Is it interesting?

Never.
F.

Compelling even?

See above..
F.

Is it a story worth telling?

Not to me..
F.

Is it good storytelling?

See above.
F.

Is it well written?

Not at all.
D.

Is it well cast? Well played?

No. And a complete waste  of J.K. Simmons Much better in the Farmers Insurance Commercials.
F.

Well shot?

Not particularly
C.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

No.
F.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale and time period?

It never mattered.
F.

Is it too long? Too short?

Way long.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?.

No, and no.
F.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

Not an issue.
F

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Not even while I was seeing it.
F
  .
Is it funny?

Sarandon has some unintentionally funny moments.
B.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

I would die first.
F.

Is it impressive?

Not worth discussing.
F.

Overall grade: F.

The bottom of the barrel.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Report Card---"Hacksaw Ridge"

"Hacksaw Ridge is the last DVD that I received that I considered worthy of Best Picture.
It takes place during World War 2, and is about a young conscientious objector, who nevertheless sees quite a bi of action without a gun in his hands.  To the point where he receives the highest medal for bravery.
It's quite a story.

On to the scoring:   

Is it interesting?

Extremely
A+.

Compelling even?

Absolutely.
A.

Is it a story worth telling?

Extremely
A+.

Is it good storytelling?

Excellent
A.

Is it well written?

Very.
A.

Is it well cast? Well played?

From top to bottom.
A.

Well shot?

Very.
A..

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

It was Mel Gibson.  Who am I to say no?
A.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale and time period?

Immediately.
A+.

Is it too long? Too short?

Perfect.
A.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?.

Yes,, and yes.
A..

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

Not at all predictable.
A.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

It's quite thought-provoking.
A.
  .
Is it funny?

Has its moments.
B.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

My arm could be twisted on this one.
A.

Is it impressive?

Very..
A.

Overall grade: A.

Yet again another rip-roarer.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------