The Return Of Dr. Rothman, Tune Detective.

The song "Blue Moon" had a quite checkered career.
It ended up being a standard, and an enormous hit.
But not without a lot of bumps and bruises along the way.
It was written by Rodgers and Hart.
Rodgers was apparently totally in love with the melody.
But Hart kept churning out new lyrics for it to suit the occasion.
The occasion usually being that the old ones kept getting rejected, and cut out of the movies they were written for.
Rodgers was quite protective of Hart.
Apparently far more than Hart was protective of himself.
The song was first written for an MGM movie called "Hollywood Party", to be sung by Jean Harlow.
with lyric that began....
'Oh Lord, if you're not busy up there,
I ask for help with a prayer
So please don't give me the air . . ."
It was cut from the film. 
The song was not even recorded and MGM Song #225 "Prayer (Oh Lord, make me a movie star)" dated June 14, 1933, was registered for copyright as an unpublished work on July 10, 1933.
Undaunted, Lorenz Hart wrote new lyrics for the tune to create a title song for the 1934 film "Manhattan Melodrama"----
"Act One:
You gulp your coffee and run
Into the subway you crowd
Don’t breathe, it isn’t allowed".
The song, which was also titled "It's Just That Kind of Play", was cut from the film before release, and registered for copyright as an unpublished work on March 30, 1934. The studio then asked for a nightclub number for the film. Rodgers still liked the melody so Hart wrote a third lyric: "The Bad in Every Man":
"Oh, Lord . . .
I could be good to a lover
But then I always discover
The bad in ev’ry man"-----
It was sung by Shirley Ross
The song, which was also released as sheet music, was not a hit.
Some publicist suggested that more romantic lyrics would turn it into a hit, and Hart went back to the typewriter and came up with what we now know as "Blue Moon".

It began:

Blue moon
You saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart
Without a love on my own

Blue moon
You knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could care for....

This is where the bumps and bruises really began.
In 1949, Mel Torme recorded "Blue Moon"
A pretty great recording.
But he took a very minor liberty with the lyrics.
He thought "prayer for" and "care for" was a false rhyme.
So he recorded it as:
You heard me saying a prayer....
For someone I really could care for.
He thought that this leant authenticity to it.
So do I.
Not so Richard Rodgers.
He sent off a nasty missive to Torme, berating him for tampering with Hart's perfection.
I told you he was quite protective of Hart.
And this was six years after Hart was dead.
I don't know if Hart would have given a shit.
But the message was clear: "Don't mess with my songs!!"

Cut to:  About eight years later.  A group of one-hit wonders named The Shepherd Sisters come out with an early Doo-Wop recording called "Alone, Why Must I Be Alone"
Big hit.
It was "Blue Moon" speeded up and Doo-Wopped up, sideways.
Just barely recognizable as "Blue Moon".
Four years after that, a legitimate Doo-Wop group, The Marcels, had a much bigger hit by verticalizing it, and, in the same style, did it as "Blue Moon"
They pulled absolutely no punches with it.
Theirs was the version that started with:
Bom ba ba bom ba bom ba bom bom ba ba bom ba ba bom ba ba dang a dang dang
Ba ba ding a dong ding Blue moon moon blue moon dip di dip di dip
Moo Moo Moo Blue moon dip di dip di dip Moo Moo Moo Blue moon dip di dip di dip
Bom ba ba bom ba bom ba bom bom ba ba bom ba ba bom ba ba dang a dang dang
Ba ba ding a dong ding......
I would love to have been a fly on the wall the day that Richard Rodgers heard this rendition for the first, and probably only time.

P.S.---I recently listened to a wonderful CD called "Two of a Kind", featuring duets by Bobby Darin and Johnny Mercer.
The songs were mostly ones that Mercer had written.
Among them was "If I Had My 'Druthers", which Mercer wrote, with Gene DePaul, for the Broadway Musical "Li'l Abner", in 1956.
It occurred to me that about five years later, America began hearing a tune that was essentially "If I Had My 'Druthers", slightly bouncier and a little jazzier, on a weekly basis.
It was the theme of The Dick Van Dyke Show.
Written by someone other than Mercer and DePaul.
Coincidence?
Perhaps.
I'm not here to judge.
Just to report.
 

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My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

Feeling Really Old, And Really Stupid.

I just watched a two-hour documentary on PBS about The Dave Clark Five.
I don't know what possessed me to do that, because, as I have indicated previously, my young mind turned off musically right after the Beach Boys.
I was old ahead of my time.
The Beatles was something I tolerated.
The others were just acts that appeared on Ed Sullivan, with girls screaming in the background.
This has led me to develop some mistaken notions about the 60's British invasion.
And watching this documentary has proven to me just how mistaken those notions were.
I thought that as far as history was concerned, The Beatles and The Rolling Stones were on the pedestal.
And that everyone else was the Anglicized version of chopped liver.
Through sheer ignorance, I placed The Dave Clark Five on the same level as Gerry and the Pacemakers.
Or even Herman's Hermits, and Freddy and the Dreamers.
They were all "Channel Changers" to me.
If any of them came on TV, I'd immediately get up and change the channel.
And without a remote control, because we didn't have them yet.
And not without a fight, because my sister loved ALL of these groups.
And there was only one TV in the house.
I have certainly since come full circle on The Beatles, but The Dave Clark Five hadn't really entered my head until I watched this documentary.
And what I saw was great musicianship, great singing, and great songs that I knew and liked a lot, but didn't know that they were the ones who had sung them.
Such as:

"Glad All Over"   "Bits and Pieces"   "Can't You See That She's Mine"   "I Knew It All The Time"
"Because"   "Catch Us If You Can"   "Over and Over"   "Let Me Show You Where It's At"

I only knew a couple of them by their titles.
But I knew ALL of them by hearing them.
And they were all great.
And then there were all those tributes.
By all of those artists who were influenced by them. Stevie Wonder, Elton John, Bruce Springsteen....
When Springsteen says they were great, you sit up and take notice.
And their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
You won't see no Freddie and the Dreamers in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Hell, they couldn't even pay their way in.
They were like comets.
And not Bill Haley's.
Here and gone, after only about four years.
By choice. Paul and Mick are still swaggering around the stage, at their advanced ages.
Dave called it quits before the seventies.
Three of them are gone now, so it's only the Dave Clark Two.
That's sad.
I'm really glad I saw this documentary.
Glad all over.
Yes, it made me feel stupid.
But it also enlightened me.
So it also made me feel smarter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

The Anti-Jerry Vale.

Very much unlike myself, I decided to seek out the singer who had the LEAST in common with Jerry Vale.
This naturally led me to Frank Sinatra, or Sinatra, or Frank, as I described in the last article.
But I thought that was too easy.
And not worth writing about.
So I made what I think is a slightly subtler choice.
His kid.
Frank Sinatra Jr.
While Jerry Vale started out with nothing, except a beautiful voice, Frank Jr. started out with everything, including a father who was willing to help him at every turn.
Which meant that he was getting a lot of help.
He was part of what was perhaps the second biggest story of 1963.
He was kidnapped and held for ransom at the age of 19, on December 8, 1963 at Harrah's Lake Tahoe.  He was released two days later after his father paid the $240,000 demanded by the kidnappers.
Famed pianist and wit, Oscar Levant, remarked at the time "My first suspicion was music critics."
The kidnappers were soon captured, prosecuted, convicted, and sentenced to long prison terms for kidnapping, of which they served only small portions (the "mastermind" was later adjudged to have been legally insane at the time of the crime and hence not legally responsible for his actions).
A rumor at the time was that Frank Sr. arranged this in an attempt to gain publicity for his son's fledgling singing career, but it was proven to be false.
The kidnappers demanded communication via payphone.
During one conversation, Frank Sr. ran out of money and was disconnected.
Fearing never seeing his son again, Frank Sr. decided to carry a roll of dimes with him at all times. Payphones at this time cost 10 cents.
This tradition lasted the rest of his life.
At the time of the kidnapping, Frank Sr. and the Rat Pack were filming Robin and the 7 Hoods.
The stress of the kidnapping, in addition to the assassination of Sinatra's close friend John F. Kennedy just a few days previously, caused him to seriously consider shutting down production completely, though the film was ultimately completed.
So originally, the Gods dealt Jerry Vale a bad hand, and Frank Jr. a good hand, even with the kidnapping.
Then things turned for both of them.
In opposite directions.
Vale sold tons of records, and became a headliner.
Frank Jr. became all that he could become: Frank Jr.
He looked just like a young Frank, and sounded just like a young Frank.
But America had already experienced that in the previous generation.
And the old Frank just kept improving with age.
So Frank Jr. never sold records.
He deserved to.
Certainly more than his sister Nancy.
He was never a headliner, except when he fronted Big Bands, trying to keep that tradition alive.
And he wound up conducting for the old man at live appearances after Frank Sr. outlived all of his former conductors, cueing him when he was forgetting his lyrics.
I consider all of this a major shame.
Frank Jr. is a WONDERFUL singer.
With great individual styling.
He brings a personality with him.
And it's not his father's.
I have a couple of his CDs.
Because they are WONDERFUL.
He certainly sang better when they were recorded than the old man did at that point.
And he wrote, and did the arrangements.
He is truly gifted.
And truly unappreciated.
I suppose both things were utterly inevitable.
I sincerely hope we haven't heard the last of him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

Jerry Vale----Mystery Man.

Singer Jerry Vale just died.
Some celebrities have to be introduced by their titles, to avoid lack of clarity.
I think that Jerry Vale was one of them.
You didn't have to say "Singer Frank Sinatra, or even "Sinatra".
All you needed was "Frank".
Same thing sort of applies to Dean Martin.
You didn't need ""Singer Dean Martin".
"Dean", or "Dino", was more than enough.
But here, it was "Singer Jerry Vale".
He was just in that slightly lower rung of show business.
I was watching the Preakness Stakes last Saturday, and it occurred to me that the Derby winner, California Chrome, seemed to be in a class by himself.
No other horse looked like they had a prayer.
Maybe they had a prayer on paper.
At least some did.
Hell, one of them almost beat him.
But when you looked at them that day, they looked pretty sad.
But someone has to make up the field.
Or there is no horse race.
And there were so many nightclubs, and records, and TV appearances to make.
And you couldn't always get Frank or Dean.
So Jerry Vale made up the field.
He was not an opening act.
He was a real act.
He filled seats.
He sold plenty of records.
He could make a good showing.
He could cross the finish line
But he rarely if ever won against the real star performers.
He didn't seem to be at all mysterious.
If anything, it was completely the opposite.
I can't recall any major performer who was this blatantly dull.
He completely lacked any noticeable personality.
I knew nothing about him through his music, except that he had a beautiful pair of pipes.
I guess that's where the mystery begins.
He seemed to be a nice guy.
Maybe.
Was he happy being known as ""Singer Jerry Vale"?
Did he want more out of life than that?
It's harder to sustain a major career as just a singer.
There are too many out there just like you.
You are too easily replaceable.
And Elvis and the Beatles probably made a major dent.
Nobody but Tony Bennett survived as well.
And I have reliable sources that indicate that Vale was very insecure about all this.
In his obits, there is puffery about how grateful he was to be plucked out of a life of shining shoes and working in sewers.
But once you have received Gold Records, maybe your perspective changes.
This is part of the mystery.
Was he liked and appreciated by the other, bigger stars?
Yes.
But maybe they liked him partially because he was not real competition.
He just looked like real competition.
He never made a movie, except cameo roles as himself.
Movies like "Good Fellas" and "Casino", capitalizing on  his blatant Italian heritage.
He was kind of a parody of himself in them.
Maybe he had loftier ambitions as an actor than that.
We'll never know.
The main difference between Jerry Vale and his contemporaries was that the rest of them were all, to some extent, romantic figures.
Matinee idols.
The kind that young girls would throw their hotel room keys at from the audience.
Vale, though not unattractive, was more the kind of singer that these girls' mothers would come to see, wishing that he was their son.
He was never a contenda.
He never could have been a contenda.
But he looked like a contenda.
At least he was no longer working on shoes or in sewers.
When Eddie Fisher died, I did a series of comps to find the closest facsimile to him.
After an extensive search, I came up with Robert Goulet.
With Vic Damone a close second.
I explored the possibility of Jerry Vale for a moment.
Mainly because their voices were so similar.
You could hardly tell them apart.
But the similarity ended there.
Because Jerry led an extremely dull life, and Eddie was such a glamorous putz.
Trying to do a comp on Jerry Vale led me right back to Eddie Fisher.
Because there is no place else to go.
Nobody even approaches being uninteresting.
So we're left with Eddie.

Was he Jerry Vale mobbed up?
A natural question.
He was Italian, sustained a career when others didn't, worked all those nightclubs, appeared in movies about the mob?
Technical advisor?
A mystery.
I once ran into him in an elevator in an Atlantic City Hotel-Casino.
He was neatly dressed in a suit and a tie, in the middle of the afternoon.
There was a huge stickpin in his tie.
It had his initials.
Totally diamond encrusted.
This has me leaning slightly towards mobbed up.

Buddy Hackett once described sitting at an event where celebrities were doing book-signings.
He was sitting next to his good friend Jerry Vale.
They each had new books that they were selling and signing.
Well, Hackett was selling and signing.
Vale was sitting and being ignored.
In what was apparently a rare moment of humanity for Hackett, he got up, walked around the room, and started paying people to go over to Vale's table to compliment him and buy his book.
So the man definitely had friends.
Very late in his career, Jerry Vale became the subject of mockery.
He had come to represent Show Business Schlock so much that David Letterman took to introducing him from his audience the way Ed Sullivan used to from his.
He had become the Joe Piscopo of singers.
Letterman did this with Jerry Vale five nights in a row.
And the mystery is, I don't know if he was in on the joke, or just happy to be there.
Some things will remain shrouded.
But he sure sang good.
R.I.P., Jerry.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link://www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman"

*****

Billy Boy "Priceline" Shatner.

Beginning today, I've been appearing as a celebrity guest t the Novi Comic-Con, here in Detroit.
As a result,I've made some local TV and radio appearances promoting the event and my appearance at it.
As a result, I've been dealing with various publicity people connected with the event.
They haven't had time to deal with me very much, because apparently William Shatner, who is by far and away the biggest draw and attraction at this event this year, has been giving them fits.
Making demands that have had them all running around like chickens without heads.
This was happening at least the day before the event.
I didn't know if this had straightened itself out until today.
That's when I found out that it hadn't straightened itself out at all.
Huge lines of people were waiting patiently to get Shatner's autograph.
At 75 smackers a pop.
Or to even get a glimpse of him.
Which wasn't possible.
The event started at 12:30 pm and ended at 7pm.
And Shatner didn't arrive until 6:30pm.
Maybe he booked a bad flight on Priceline?
He gave strict instructions that he would only sign autographs.
Not photos.
And he wouldn't pose for a photo with anyone.
For ANY price.
And that no one could look at him without the privilege of paying for it.
There was a woman in a wheelchair who wasn't allowed to rise to see him without paying for it.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You're 84 years old.
I guess that can make you a little cranky.
I guess that can make you want to take a crap on everyone in sight.
So why take the gig?
It can't be for the money.
Even at 75 smackers a pop.
Why not just stay in the house?
If I learn any more about this, I'll report about it next week.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

Nancy Malone: A Fond Farewell.

Nancy Malone died this past week at the age of 79.
This is significant to me for a couple of reasons.
First, she was the last surviving regular cast member of one of my favorite TV series, "Naked City".
She played Paul Burke's girlfriend.
I loved and love "Naked City".
Much more so now than when it first aired over fifty years ago.
And I watch it regularly on MeTV.
As should you.
The writing and storytelling were first-rate.
It was mostly shot in the streets of Manhattan, so it is evocative of places I knew when I was growing up there, that no longer exist
The exterior shots are filled with traffic that is filled with cars with tailfins.
The kind you only see at old car rallies these days.
Every year that "Naked City' was on, the lead detectives had a new Pontiac to drive.
I guess a deal had been struck.
The executive producer was Herbert B. Leonard.
I once did a pilot with Rita Moreno, who, in a moment of rapture, waxed ecstatically about Herbert B. Leonard.
She had appeared in the film "Popi" that Leonard produced, where there were a lot of child actors, no one of whom could act, and the set and the shoot were totally chaotic.
Her words were approximately "How that man pulled together a movie that actually made sense is one of God's miracles".
Leonard didn't have to work that hard on "Naked City".
He had wonderful writers, great directors, and above all, a uniformly wonderful cast.
The kind of romantic relationship that Paul Burke and Nancy Malone had was one that, as a young teenager, I aspired to have when I grew up.
They shared a great sense of humor with each other that I had never witnessed before.
The show had the great Horace McMahon as the Police Lieutenant.
He was one of those actors that could be dismissed as hammy.
He over-pronounced all of his dialogue to the point where it all sounded written.
But boy, was he interesting to watch.
You couldn't take your eyes off him.

The other reason Nancy Malone was significant to me was that I was in love with her.
This sixteen year-old had a major crush on her that wouldn't quit.
When James Whitmore died, I wrote a post about his show, "The Law and Mr. Jones", in which I described my major crush on actress Janet DeGore, who played Whitmore's secretary.
I used the Yiddish word "facchliuppit" (translation: "Consumed to the point of embarrassment") to describe my feelings about Ms. DeGore.
The difference is that Janet DeGore was a classically beautiful Patrician Gentile.
And I was only twelve at the time.
Nancy Malone was somewhat flawed.
A little plump, a somewhat crooked nose....but her intelligence and sense of humor and basic prettiness afforded me no less fachliuppitude.
And my loins were much more easily stirred at sixteen.
Thus, it was rather disturbing to learn that she was, at least in later years, if not always, a Lesbian.
It was mentioned in several obituaries that she was the life partner of Linda Hope, adopted Lesbian daughter of Bob "I've got an adopted Lesbian daughter" Hope.
A friend of mine, whose father was a production manager on "Naked City" for most of it's run, had clued me in on this relationship quite a while go.
And he described Nancy as currently looking very butch.
Short hair, plaid shirts, jeans, fat, and frumpy-looking.
I just watched her three-and-a-half-hour interview at the Emmy TV Legends website.
You know.
The website where there is a four hour interview of me.
She had lovely hair, was well-dressed, with a scarf covering her neck, perhaps to hide whatever the ravages of time had done to it.
She looked very much like the Nancy Malone that I was fachliuppit with years before.
Only a little older.
She continually referred to Linda Hope as her friend Linda Hope.
They respected her privacy about it, as they respected my privacy about whatever I wanted to remain private.
She certainly did not look her age, which would have been 75 at the time.
But then I remembered how I looked when I showed up for MY interview, and what magic they had performed on me.
So I guess the jury is out on that score.
I'm embarrassed to say that with all the other TV work that she has done, I only know her from "Naked City".
I'm going to have to do a major "YouTube" scavenger hunt.

R.I.P., Nancy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

1960's Broadway Musical Underground Piracy.

When I was in college, I was already a Broadway Musical Theater geek.
What I didn't know, until I was exposed to it, was that there were geeks far geekier than moi.
They lived in my neighborhood in Flushing, Queens.
I suppose you could call them a Little Theater Group.
And I mean little in the littlest sense.
Before I met them, my acting career was restricted to college, and the occasional Summer Stock Dinner Theater tour.
None of these people in the group were untalented.
But their geekiness was unparalleled.
They regularly sat around a room and performed, a capella, with gusto, show tunes that were too embarrassing to know.
Like the title number from "I Had A Ball", which starred Buddy Hackett.
The leader of the group, an aggressive young woman, had seen me in one of the college musicals I had appeared in, and made an active attempt to recruit me into this group.
Several things had me on the fence about it.
The geekiness was not really one of them.
There was a sleaziness issue, coupled with a morality issue.
They had already performed a handful of musicals.
In basements and meeting rooms of various apartment buildings in our neighborhood.
Major musicals.
And there was money to be made..
They charged real, if not Broadway prices.
And the deal was that we'd all split the take.
But they wanted to get away with not paying royalties to those who created the shows.
So they created a little loophole for themselves.
They changed the titles of the shows in the flyers that were distributed, hung up in lobbies, and laundry rooms, and hand-delivered door-to-door.
This was something I was adamant about opting out of.
I met with only minor resistance.
The shows were titled things like, I kid you not, "The Car-a-sel Waltz", "Peddler On The Stoop",
and "Guys and Gals".
The shows were well-attended, and the audiences knew what they were getting.
I saw the first two.
They were actually very well performed.
This sort of thing also went on in Manhattan.
I went to a production of "Something Funny Happened On My Way To The Forum" in a hotel ballroom on 23rd street.
It was very good too.
Certainly a lot better than when Mickey Rooney did it.
But this whole form of enterprise smacked of cheating.
Creators were being robbed of their royalties.
It didn't sit well with me on that level.
The geeks were then about to put "Guys and Gals" into production.
They wanted me in it.
And I was at the crossroads.
Part of me was very wary.
Another part of me said "Gee, wouldn't it be nice to play Sky Masterson or Nathan Detroit".
That's the part that won out.
Then I learned that the part they wanted me for was Arvide Abernathy, the old man who was the head of the Salvation Army, who sings "More I Cannot Wish You" to Sarah Brown.
"More I Cannot Wish You may be the best song in "Guys and Dolls", oh, forgive me, "Guys and Gals".
So I was at least a little bit tempted.
But before I committed one way or another, they told me that "More I Cannot Wish You" was going to be cut.
So I passed.
Not on moral grounds.
But because of creative differences.
Now, here it is, fifty year later.
I wonder if the Underground still exists.......    

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

*****

A Blight On The Commercial Landscape.

With the advent and my embracing of Tivo, I almost never have to sit through commercials the way I used to.
Almost.
When I watch live streaming baseball games on my MLB.com baseball package, there's no Tivoing through the commercials.
You just have to grin and bear it.
Well, you don't have to grin.
And lately, I'm not grinning.
I'm just bearing.
These are not ads that the local stations running the games are showing.
These are ads that MLB.com is providing separately.
And collecting fees from the advertisers on.
Showing them to viewers who are already paying for the service.
They've got us all coming and going.
And they're always the same commercials, being shown between each inning.
Yes, you can keep turning the sound off between innings, and I do that a lot.
But enough of them seep through that it causes a lot of aggravation.
Particularly when this one particularly offensive and pointless one is shown:

Two upscale techie nerds are working in a concert arena, setting up the equipment.
First nerd:  How we lookin' here, Charlie?
Charlie: All sectors lookin' great.
First nerd: Excellent.

A long-haired hippie type, along with his long-haired hippie type girlfriend, approaches them.
Long-haired hippie type:  Hey.  How you guys doin'?
First nerd:  Oh.  Well, we're double checking the distributive antenna system so when all you fans post to insta-gram, there'll be more antenna to handle it.
Long-haired hippie type:  So, you guys hirin'? 
(Notice that nobody uses the letter "g" at the end of words.)
First nerd:  Do you know how to optimize a nine beam multi-beam antenna system?
Long-haired hippie type:  (nonchalantly) Is that a deal-breaker?
First nerd: Pretty much.
The long-haired hippie type nods, shrugs it off, and ambles away with his long-haired hippie type girlfriend.
First nerd: (Calling after them, derisively)  Enjoy the show!

Announcer voice-over:  AT&T is building you a better network. 

Now, what do I find so offensive about this commercial?
Well, first, it totally mocks the unemployed.
As if they are dim-witted.
As if that is how seriously they take the task of looking for work.
It mocks people with long hair.
Like that isn't old news.
God forbid it should have been people more neatly turned out, more neatly trimmed.
I hear that they are also looking for work.
But I guess that would take the "humor" out of it.
It implies that those unemployed are squandering their welfare checks on expensive concert tickets.
There is also possibly an element of reverse-racism at play here.
I can imagine the pitch meeting at the ad agency:
"...and a young black guy in an afro, and his girlfriend approach..."
"Black guy????!!! Are you out of your mind?  The blacks would be all over us!"
"All right.   A white, long-haired hippie type and his white long-haired girlfriend approach..."
"Now, you're talkin'!

Now, the ultimate question:  How does this help sell AT&T?
It's just about antennas, which means it's just about cable service, which very few people have a choice about anyway.
Does anybody really think that the competition has dumb techies?

This is the price that I pay for loving baseball.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

For Want Of A Nail....(2)

I recently thought about the deathtrap that my sister and I shared to sleep in growing up, and I had this image in my head that I was the one who had the twin bed that was adjacent to the left wall.
There was a window separating us, and my sister had the twin bed that was adjacent to the right wall.
Then, a few moments later, I had this crystal clear image of my sister sleeping in the twin bed that was adjacent to the left wall.
I remembered this distinctly because I had this little, cheap, Sony transistor radio.
The kind that nobody has anymore.
It needed to be fixed.
And I knew that she would be out shopping with my mother that day, and I asked her to take the radio to the repair place (the kind that doesn't exist anymore. Hell, they're event phasing out Radio Shack.) and find out how much it would cost to get it fixed.
She agreed. I then was out all day, and by the time I got home, it was past her bedtime, and she was asleep.
Without any trepidation, I called out to her.
"Hey Les!!"
(Her name is Les.)
Les: Huh?
Me: Did you go to the radio place?
Les:  Huh?  Yeah.
Me:  Did you ask them how much it would cost to get my radio fixed?
Les; Yeah.
Me:  So how much?
Les: ....hundred dollars.

This did not compute.
I bought the Sony new for forty dollars.

Me:  How much?
Les: ...hundred dollars.

Clearly, she was in a state of delirium, and had remained in it throughout our conversation.
And clearly, in my mind, this all took place with my sister lying comatose in the twin bed adjacent to the left wall.
My bed.
This, too, did not compute.
But I also sort of remembered that there were times that I slept in the other bed.
The one adjacent to the right wall.
We had at some point made the switch.
What I could not remember was when or why.
So what do you do if you're me?
If you're me, you go right to the source, and ask the horse.
(I already checked with Les, and she does not at all mind being referred to as a horse.  Anyway, in racing parlance, she is a thoroughbred.)
So I called Les on the phone, and relayed all of this information.
Her recollections about it were as vague as mine.
She did remember "...hundred dollars", not from living through it, but from my having told her about it at the time.
The rest was a blur, except she sort of did remember sleeping in both beds at one time or another.
I did whatever I could to trigger some memory.
I said "Remember, the bed adjacent to the left wall had a hole in the mattress?  Covered only by a thin pad?  And the spring underneath was exposed?  And there was sort of a nail sticking up through it?" And it could stick you?"
She remembered the nail.
It had stuck her.  Repeatedly.
There were almost simultaneous shouts of "Eureka!"
Everything was falling into place.
And it did not look good for me.
The immediate correct conclusion was drawn by both of us.
I had effected the "bait and switch".
So I wouldn't have to deal with that friggin' nail anymore.
And I palmed that bed off on my sister.
I don't know what I used for bait, but whatever it was, it worked.
All these years later, my sister does not hold a grudge.
It was so similar to all the other things I did to her.
Why single that out?
I don't know why I didn't just confront my mother about getting me a new mattress.
Probably because she was always pleading poverty.
And besides, she needed whatever loose change there was for new paint-by-numbers kits, more gold spray-paint, and more plaster and fake white bricks.
Anyway, the mystery was solved.
Case closed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****