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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

More Funny Divorces.

Who'd a thunk it?

Who'd a thunk that an actress with her own share of tattoos, who went on TV many years ago to enthusiastically promote a godawful movie that she starred in that she must have known was godawful, "Two If By Sea", making her a complete whore, who later on in life marries a guy covered with tattoos, including those of the Swastika variety, and surprise, surprise, he gets caught cheating on her, who'd a thunk she'd be considered "America's Sweetheart"?

Who'd a thunk it?

Because she won an Oscar?

Lots o' women have won Oscars.

Hattie McDaniel won an Oscar.

I don't recall anyone calling her "America's Sweetheart".

And again, people are asking the wrong question: "Why on earth did he marry her?"

Yeah. Right. Nobody ever marries up.
And yes, Jesse James marrying Sandra Bullock IS marrying up.
It's a close call, but it's still marrying up.

And again, I don't hear anyone asking "Why on earth did she marry him"?

Two reasons: 1) She is the aforementioned tattooed whore herself. And......
2) To quote a Playboy Cartoon I remember from the 60's, where a young man brings his prospective bride home to meet his parents, and the "bride" is the ultimate floozy hooker, wearing a sandwich-board that reads, in big, bold letters: " $5!!!! Come and get it!!!!!",
the boy's father, seated on the couch next to the boy's mother, says, in the caption, quite understatedly, "You're blinded by love, son".

So "America's Sweetheart" was blinded by love.

It could happen to anybody.

You can still legitimately ask "What the hell was she thinking?"

But to feel sorry for her?

I can't.
I'm a Jew.
She married someone with Swastika tattoos.
It wasn't "I'll marry you if you get rid of the Swastika tattoos."
She took him as he was.
And he turned out to be someone who cheated on her with someone with even more Swastika tattoos than he.

But at least he'll be "Cured" by going to rehab. Right.
I hear no apologies to my Tribe from her.

Forgive me, but my sympathies lie elsewhere.
They both deserve whatever they get.
Including each other.

This divorce is much more Funny Peculiar than Funny Ha Ha.

I'm just sayin'.


Monday, April 19, 2010

Funny Divorces.

Who'd a thunk it?

A 65 year old wealthy major TV star, not known for his looks, having been married six previous times, mostly if not totally to trophy wives, marries for a seventh time, to a 38 year old trophy wife.

And it lasts TWELVE YEARS!

Who'd a thunk it?

People are actually asking how they could possibly be getting divorced.

This, I won't even consider.

How it lasted more than six months is the shocking thing.

People are also asking how he could even consider marrying her in the first place.

Those people who are asking that, come closer to the screen...........

Okay. Good. Here's the answer:


People are what they are. Larry King is a serial marrier.
Does anybody think this will actually be his last marriage?

Larry King knows what he is.
He knows why he is attractive to women.
It's not his dimples.
How well would this man do with women if he was an accountant?

He knows his options. Marry gold-diggers, or spend lots o' time with hookers.
Or both.
Maybe they're one and the same.

I never hear anyone question why his wife Shawn married him.
We all seem to know.
Of course there was no pre-nup.
Ya think she'd marry him with a pre-nup?
Don't ya think he knows she knows she wouldn't marry him with a pre-nup?
And of course, Shawn now wants everything that isn't nailed down.
You know the old joke: " We know what you are, now we're just haggling over price."

They both filed for divorce claiming infidelity on the other's part.
There's a shock.
Yeah. He's enough to satisfy her.
Yeah. She can probably still stomach him.
Yeah. He's never had a roving eye.

I listened to the audiobook of Larry King's latest autobiography.
It is filled with interjected testimonials from family, friends, and particularly, his soon to be ex-wife.
They all couldn't be more lauditory. Particularly from Shawn.
So I'm thinking, "Maybe this one is different"
Now, I'm just giggling.

Why she's hassling him over child custody is the only real question here.
From all reports, he's a wonderful father. you suppose? Do you think maybe, just maybe, she might be using the kids as a bargaining chit?

So where's Gloria Allred during all this?
Isn't there a women's rights issue that she can find? That must have a role somewhere in all of this, don't ya think?.
You'd think this would be right up her alley. I mean, she's already been representing hookers in the Tiger Woods case.

Where is she? In hiding. That's where she is.
That's all she needs. To piss off Larry King.
And give her one less major outlet for her to mouthe off on National Television.

Maybe these are just two crazy kids having a rough patch.
Maybe they can smoothe things out.
I certainly hope so.



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About Me

Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."