The Worst Case Scenario.

Let's say that you've booked a cruise on a top of the line cruise ship.
Let's say it's the Costa Concordia.
Let's say you get on board at the appointed time.
Let's say that the ship's Captain, Captain Vinnie Boom Botz, (see Dangerfield, Rodney)decides to show off and steer the ship too close to shore and crashes it into the rocks , and the ship capsizes.
And between 25 and 55 people, possibly including you, drown.
But not Captain Boom Botz.
He's one of the first ones off the boat after the first scrape on the hull.

Would that not be the worst case scenario?
Probably not.
The worst case scenario if if ALL the passengers drown, and Captain Boom Botz survives.

This begs the question "So, what would be the BEST case scenario?"
In all honesty, I can't think of one.

I must say, I've never seen the point of cruises.
You end up spending time with people you'd never want to meet in real life.
There are other people on the boat whose express purpose is to sell you things you don't want.
My wife usually ends up spending way too much money at Art Auctions where they try to convince you that everything you purchase is a major bargain.
You also pay an exorbitant price to essentially eat your face off.
At least five meals a day.
If you don't have all five meals, you're not getting your money's worth.
It's like a floating Grossinger's.

So you usually get seasick, and spend time tossing at least two of those meals over the side.

So maybe Captain Boom Botz had the right idea, only not for the right reasons.

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My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.

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Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot? Part Two.

Okay.
So last November 7th, I receive an e-mail from Zisser, asking me for my mailing address.
Something I assumed he had.
Either I had mysteriously fallen out of his Rolodex, or he assumed that I had moved and didn't let him know about it.
It was a rather strange request, but I've received stranger.
I e-mail it back to him, no questions asked.

Then, around the day before Thanksgiving, I receive an engraved invitation to "Join the Newlyweds" at a Brunch to be held at Zisser's home in Florida, the next week.
His son, who I had met several times, was getting married.
Now, what's wrong with this picture?
Well, aside from the fact that this gave me very little time to respond, it made no mention of an actual wedding taking place, much less one that I was invited to.
I did not have to put on my Sherlock Holmes hat to quickly conclude that I was, in fact, on the "B" list.
People who were not invited to the wedding, but would perhaps accept this as a consolation prize.
And drop what they were doing to make travel plans to fly thousands of miles to attend a facockta Brunch.
After they were not invited to the wedding.

Could they have eloped?
If they had, wouldn't it be tactful to mention that in the invitation?
So elopement was doubtful.

Could my Wedding Invitation have been lost in the mail?
If it had, would there be some effort on Zisser's part to find out why I hadn't R.S.V.P.'d?
There wasn't.

It was obviously a rather cheap ploy to wangle a gift out of me for his kid.
None was forthcoming.
I ignored the invitation, and planned to ignore Zisser for the duration.

Then, early last week, I received a holiday greeting card from the Zissers, replete with pictures from the wedding, in which I was informed that it was held on November 19th.
A wedding to which, according to the form letter that accompanied it, not even made out to me personally, the immediate world was not only invited to, but attended in droves.
I consider this to be hard evidence that there was never any intention to invite me to this facockta wedding.
You don't ask for someone's mailing address on the 7th, where an invitation couldn't possibly be received before the 10th, and not expect the recipient not to be snubbed if the wedding is held on the 19th.
No, he was aiming to only invite me to the facockta Brunch.
If he'd invited me to the wedding, I most-likely wouldn't have gone, and I would have most-likely sent a gift.
I would have been just as happy not knowing about the wedding to begin with.
I'm not one of those old crabby Jews who get into "I invited him to mine, why didn't he invite me to his?"
I really couldn't give a crap about that.
What has gotten my dander up, and my dudgeon high, is that there was a conscious decision to not only snub me, but to try to treat me like an idiot in the process.
Zisser was trying to pull a fast one, not giving me enough credit to be able to figure out that I was on the "B" list.
Why he didn't invite me to begin with is anybody's guess.
Sending the follow-up card with the wedding picture and description is something I just chalk up to Zisser not thinking, or Zisser delegating the thinking to somebody else.
Somebody else who was not thinking.
Anyway, it's wonderful to not be thought of like that, whoever was not doing it.
It resulted in my simply getting my nose rubbed in it, which has always been the history between me and Zisser.

Also in the form letter was the expected braggadociotic cheeky blather about his daughter, the Bat Mitzvah girl from ten years previously, having just gotten her Phd. in Clinical Psychology and continuing her humanitarian ways in general, and how wonderful their just married son is, now that he's just joined the family law firm.
Undoubtedly the "Best Law Firm In The World"
The only rationale I can come up with for Zisser's actions is him thinking to himself "Why would anyone not consider it an honor to sit at the same table with the Greatest Family In The World, whether he was invited to the wedding or not?"
It doesn't fly.
Just like pigs can't fly.

Maybe Zisser's Bar Mitzvah picture is sitting somewhere in one of Zisser's closets in his house, turning into the Picture of Dorian Gray.

I am now certain that, as we have started to approach the finish line, I have finally nosed him out in the "Best Boy In The World" Sweepstakes.

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My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.

******