Horror Stories About Prop People.

I'm not referring to the prop people who are working on the play I'm currently rehearsing.
They are beyond reproach.
But I have dealt with some lulus in my time.
When I directed my first play, I requested that the prop man create a travel bag that had a soccer ball as it's logo. 
It is a major plot point.
It indicates how far its owner has fallen.
He used to be a major league baseball broadcaster.
Now he is reduced to being a soccer broadcaster.
He has expressed fears that this would be his fate.
Worse, it's indoor soccer---the low end.
So the prop man comes back with a bag that has a pattern like the stars-and-bars of the Confederate Flag.
And there are little soccer balls placed where the stars would be.
Now what's wrong with this picture?
This is supposed to be a sight gag.
The character doesn't even refer to it.
Theoretically, it should get a big laugh.
So what's the problem, class?
That's right.
Even in the first row, you can't see that they are soccer balls.
I actually had to say to the prop man "No, it has to be one big soccer ball.  The audience has to be able to see from the back of the house that it is in fact, a soccer ball.
You see, all he had to do was read the script.
He hadn't.
To call him a moron would be flattering.
He came back with a soccer bag that had one big soccer ball.
And the gag always got a big laugh.
It merely required thought.
As we continue, I will provide several more examples of idiot prop people.

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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
The phone number for tickets for my play, "Who Wants Fame?" beginning July 30th in Detroit, is 248-579-3365.  If you're in the area, you'll have a great time.
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What I'm Up To Lately

I'm in rehearsal for one of my plays, a 2-character romantic comedy called "Who Wants Fame?"
It will be performed in Detroit on the above dates.
If business warrants, we will extend the run.
As indicated, I will be on hand for each performance to take questions about my TV career, and the play, and just about anything that interests you.
I usually get a lot of questions from aspiring writers and actors, and I think I have some valuable advice to offer.
Detroit has become a film industry town, and I would be happy to share my knowledge.
The ticket prices are $37.50 for the really close-up seats, $35.50 for the mid-way seats, and $32.50
for the further back seats.
Beats Broadway prices by a whole lot.
The venue seats 570 people, and it's all on one level.
We offer group discounts: If you purchase ten tickets or more, the price is $25.00.
I think it's a bargain at twice the price.  But that's me.
As we get closer to production time, I will be popping up on local media, to plug my heart out.
But I don't believe that it's merely hype.
I believe in this play. I love this play.  And I think you will, too.
The phone number for tickets is 248-579-3365.
If you want a better look at the flyer, email me and ask, and I'll send you a pdf of it.
If you have any questions for me about it, email me at macchus999@comcast.net
If you don't think I'm going to be plugging the hell out of this event until it happens, then you don't know me very well.

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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
The phone number for tickets for my play, "Who Wants Fame?" beginning July 30th in Detroit, is 248-579-3365.  If you're in the area, you'll have a great time.
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Whither Goeth Billy Gardell?

"Mike and Molly" was a really good and really successful sitcom.
It's just departed from the Primetime Airwaves.
Billy Gardell, who played Mike, began the series on equal footing with Melissa McCarthy, who played Molly.
It began with them portraying two obesely overweight people who fell in love.
This made sense, because they were both obesely overweight.
Eventually McCarthy shed a ton of weight, and became a breakout movie star.
This contributed to McCarthy's decision to leave the series, and pursue the bigger fish she now had to fry.
She seems to have made the right business decision for herself.
But Billy Gardell, whom I found equally entertaining as McCarthy, seems to have been left high and dry.
Prior to landing this gig, Gardell was a long-time working road comic.
But he has now made major TV money.
Is he really going to want to go back out and work places like "Yuk-Yuks" in Shreveport Alabama?
He's not Seinfeld.
He can't sell out Caesar's Palace whenever he wants to.
And I'd bet he wants to.
And it's probably going difficult for him to land another series of any quality, or of anything at all.
Unless maybe he also loses a ton of weight.
I really liked his work, and I really wish him well.
Perhaps this is one of the last people we need to throw any kind of benefit for.
But I'm afraid we may have seen the last of him.
And this is sad.

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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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Muhammed Ali's Uniqueness.

Besides having been the most famous man on earth, and how your feelings about him reflected more about you than about him, he brought
something to his sport that almost no one else of his contemporaries did.
He always, even at his most undignified moments, brought total dignity to every element of his life.
Mostly nobody else in his sport had a shred of it.
Particularly among heavyweights.
With Laila Ali, Ali's daughter---Ali discouraged her from becoming a boxer.
She became one anyway.
Joe Frazier, who had like eleven kids, tried to make all of them fighters.
And they all sucked.
Early in the run of his show, David Letterman did a remote segment with Joe Frazier in Philadelphia, following Frazier to the laundromat,
where he picked up his laundry.
He was obviously mocking him.
Can anyone imagine Ali putting up with that sort of thing?
In an interview, Thomas 'Hit Man' Hearns was once asked what he wanted to do after he quit fighting.
He replied "I wants to be a axter".
I once auditioned Former Heavyweight champeen Ken Norton, who was actively attempting to become a "axter".
Hell, he made "Mandingo"
He appeared to have marbles inside and around his mouth.
I didn't hire him.
George Foreman ended up selling cookware--the George Foreman grill.
Ali never pitched anything.
Mike Tyson put a huge tattoo on his face, and spent half his life in the slammer.
Nuff' said.
Ron Lyle, a very colorful fighter, committed and was convicted of second degree murder.
Leon Spinks was a moron. Probably still is.
Sonny Liston was mob-controlled and thug that he was, did "God knows what?" to his fellow citizens.
The heavyweight ranks in Ali's time was littered with thugs and criminals.
But they tried to put Muhammed Ali in jail for his political beliefs.
And Ali handled it all with dignity.
Around the time of Ali's legal troubles, Joe Louis was hired as a "Greeter" at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.
He would stand around in the blackjack pits and you could have your picture taken with him just by gambling and asking.
Joe looked like he never had any idea where he was.
I'm glad Ali didn't end up like that.
He was simply one of a kind.
God bless us all for having had him.


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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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The Best And The Worst At One Event.

The great Irving Benson died this week at 102.
I'll take 102 any old time.
Why was he great?
To answer that, you've got to appreciate the art of Burlesque.
I'm talking about the Minsky's variety of Burlesque, where Irving Benson was it's foremost Top Banana. I got to see him several times in
Las Vegas and Reno.
This was a funny, funny man.
He used to show up on the Milton Berle Show as Sidney Shpritzer, where he used to heckle Berle from a box like the box for the two old guys on "The Muppet Show".
I always found it funnier when he was heckling anybody else.
One night, I was faced with a dilemma: co-headlining with Benson's Minsky revue were Sandler and Young.
For the uneducated, Sandler and Young were the worst act to ever headline anything.
They were these two handsome middle-aged guys in tuxedos who sang popular songs with a gimmick: one of them was French, and he would sing the song in French.
The other was American, and sang the same song in English, contrapuntally.
It was torture.
Sometimes they'd sing different songs at the same time just to show off.
Like, the French guy would sing "Domenique-a-nique-a-nique" in French while the American would be singing "When the Saints Go Marching In" in English.
This was all they did, and it was inexcusably bad show business, yet they forged a very successful career with this shit.
They must have done at least fifty Ed Sullivan Shows.
So. Here I am in Vegas.
Do I go to see Irving Benson, with his glorious timing, knowing what else is in store for me?
Assuming that Irving goes on first, can I walk out when Sandler and Young come on?
Assuming that I had seen the last of Irving?
I decided to go and stick it out.
And there they were, doing their usual crap. It was agony.
But then I thought maybe Sandler and Young wanted to be playful and participate in the Minsky shenanigans.
That is, in fact what happened and I was glad I stayed.
But it was a tough call.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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