A Commercial Jingle And Pitch For "Mark Rothman's Essays" by James Durante.

"When I look back 'tru life I find
Lots of memories remain
Certain days stay in my mind
And keep runnin' 'tru my brain
I remember the day that Ederle swam the Channel, what a splash!
I remember the Wall Street Crash
Or when Winchell first shouted 'Flash'
But there's one day that I recall though it was years ago
All ma' life I will remember it I know........

I'll never forget the day I read a book.
It was contagious,
Seventy pages.
There were pictures here and there
So it wasn't hard to bear
The day----I read a book.

It's a shame I can't recall the name of the book
It wasn't a History
Because it didn't have no plot
It wasn't a Mystery
Because nobody there got shot
The day I read a book
I can't remember when
But one of these days I'm gonna do it again, yes sir.......
One of these days I'm gonna do it again!

Ahhh litt'rature!!!
There's nothin' like sittin' at home nights at the fireplace
With a pipe, a dog, and a good book at your feet.......
But if ya walk into my house, you'll see LOADS of books.
And believe me, they're not there just for appearance.
I press an awful lot of butterflies!!

My literary appetite is stupendious.
They don't write 'em quick enough for me.
The Book of the Month didn't come out fast enough for me,
So I read the Book of the Week.
The Book of the Week didn't come out fast enough for me,
So I read the Book of the Day.
THE Book of the Hour,
THE Book of the Minute,
But THAT wasn't even fast enough.
So far this week, I've read six books that haven't even been written yet!!

But I'm not confined to home readin'.
I once spent two weeks in the liberry.
I would've been outta there sooner, but I'd buried ma' nose in a book, and forgot which book I buried it in!
A dilemmia......

Why, on the first page of this book, they printed the author's name.
And right underneath it was his private phone number---
Copywright one nine three nine.
But I'm gonna send it back.
I've been dialing that number for four months, and nobody's answered!

Nevertheless,
While cruisin' thru the liberry,
I found the classic I was lookin' for.
It wasn't the Encyclopedia Britannia,
It wasn't "Forever Umbriago"
It was a book that was three thousand eight hundred and fifty seven pages thick.
And I'm glad I took it.
It fits perfectly under the short leg of my pool table!

It wasn't a History
Because it didn't have no plot
It wasn't a Mystery
Because nobody there got shot
The day I read a book
I can't remember when
But one of these days I'm gonna do it again, yes sir.......
One of these days I'm gonna do it again! "

-------------------------------------------------------------

If you care to hear Jimmy's rendition, go to YouTube, type in "Jimmy Durante, the day I read a book".
It was recorded in 1947, the year of my birth.
How prescient of him.
Although my book isn't 70 pages or 3857 pages either, for that matter.
It's about 250 pages.
Just right to fit under the leg of a kid's pool table.
And there are no pictures here and there, so it might be a little harder to bear.

Even so, if this doesn't interest you in "Mark Rothman's Essays", nothing will.
If it does, e-mail me at macchus999@aol.com


*****