"Taste The Borscht". Part Two.

If you read the last post, you are now familiar with "Taste The Borscht".

When I was about twenty, and still living at home with my parents, my mother thought it would be a nice idea to have all my college friends, who were all still living at home with THEIR parents, over for a nice dinner.
My mother, Bella, considered herself the Perle Mesta of Flushing, New York.
Quite the party-giver.
She was making one of her specialties, meatballs and spaghetti.

During the preliminaries, before dinner was ready, my father, a pretty good joke-teller, decided to regale the assembled gathering with his rendition of the joke we now know as "Taste The Borscht".
He told it well, and got sincere laughs from the assembled gathering, which included my mother, Bella.

My mother, in typical Perle Mesta style, had set the dining room table quite elegantly.
Our best China, glassware, tablecloth, beautiful cloth napkins, etc.
But our best silverware was not out there.
In fact, NO silverware was out there.
The approximately eight of us, including my sister, were summoned to the table, after Bella's pronouncement of "Dinner is served".
She then brought out this huge bowl of meatballs and spaghetti.
Enough to feed an Army.
Or at least a fairly large Battalion.
She returned to the kitchen to bring out other food items.

At this point, my father couldn't resist.
He called out to where she was in the kitchen:
"Hon, come out here! Taste the spaghetti!
From the kitchen, we hear "What are you talking about?!
My father reiterates: "Taste the spaghetti!

Now, at this point, I should remind you that Bella was very much present in the room when my father did "Taste the Borscht".

From the kitchen: "I already tasted the spaghetti! It's fine!

From my father: "Just come out here, and taste the spaghetti!

Bella, indulging him, comes out of the kitchen, and after being totally oblivious to the fact that there is NO silverware out there, sticks her fingers in the bowl, pulls out many strands of spaghetti, puts them
in her mouth, and says "I told you it was fine. It's fine."
I, not being able to resist, immediately follow her lead.
I stick MY fingers in the bowl, pull out many strands of spaghetti,
put them in my mouth, and say "She told you it was fine. It's fine."
My sister, sitting to my right, then follows my lead, sticks HER
fingers in the bowl, pulls out many strands of spaghetti, puts them
in HER mouth and says "She told you it was fine. It's fine."
My three college chums immediately to her right individually follow suit in the precisely the same way:
"She told you it was fine. It's fine."
At this point, Bella, observing this, faces reality.
".......there's no silverware."
At which point, all of the rest of us raise our respective index fingers into the air, and simultaneously say "Aha!"

Truth is almost invariably better than fiction.

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My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.

******

"Taste The Borscht", Part One.

I had intended to tell you a story about my mother, involving the old standard joke, known in most Jewish circles as "Taste The Borscht."
I had assumed that most people I knew, most of them comedy witers, were familiar with the joke.
It turned out that hardly any of them were familiar with "Taste The Borscht".
So why on earth should my readers, most of whom are not comedy writers, be familiar with it?

As a result, today will be devoted to the telling of the joke, and next time will be devoted to how it involved my mother.

So here's "Taste The Borscht":

A little old Jewish man goes into Katz's delicatessen on the Lower Easr Side of New York City.

The waiter, another little old Jewish man, approaches him to take his order.

Customer: Bring me a bowl of Matzoh Ball soup.

Waiter: (Leaning into him) You don't want the Matzoh Ball soup.

Customer: Yes I do. Bring me a bowl of Matzoh Ball soup.

Waiter: Trust me. You don't want the Matzoh ball Soup.

Customer: So what do I want?

Waiter: Try the Borscht.

Customer: The Borscht?

Waiter: (With a wink) The Borscht.

Customer: All right. Bring me the Borscht.

Waiter: (Triumphantly) I'll bring you the Borscht.

The waiter is practically skipping into the kitchen to place the order.
Shortly, he returns with the Borscht.

Waiter: Doesn't it look great? Just like I told you?

Customer: I've got to hand it to you. It does look great.

Waiter: Would I steer you wrong?

The Waiter heads back to the kitchen. He is stopped by the customer.

Customer: Excuse me. Would you come back here please?

The Waiter returns.

Customer: Taste the Borscht.

Waiter: What do you mean, taste the Borscht?

Customer: Taste the Borscht.

Waiter: I don't have to taste the Borscht. I had a nice big bowl of it before you came in. It's delicious.

Customer: Taste the Borscht.

Waiter: (Finally indulging him) All right, I'll taste the Borscht.......where's the spoon?

Customer: (Pointing his finger in the air) Aha!!!!

And that's "Taste the Borscht".
Next time, I will demonstrate how my mother unwittingly took this joke to new heights.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My book, "Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store, You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
You might want to check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
The website "On Screen & Beyond" has two hours of an interview I did on it's podcast in their archives.
Just Google On Screen & Beyond to find them if you're interested.

******