Hey There, Bunky.....

One of the funniest people ever died last Tuesday.
His name was Eddie Lawrence.
Maybe you'd know him better as "The Old Philosopher"
Maybe you wouldn't.
But his Old Philosopher routine was as funny as I can remember.
And this goes back to my childhood.
It was usually in the form of a comedy album.
Perhaps the first clean one ever, of course not counting Redd Foxx and Belle Barth.
But I always thought it worked better visually.
He did all the major TV variety shows with it----Sullivan, Steve Allen, Carson, and invariably killed.

For the unfamiliar, I'll paraphrase an example of what he did from his New York Times Obituary:

(With the soft strains of "Beautiful Dreamer" in the background)
“Hey there, Bunky, you say you lost your job today?
You say it’s 4 a.m. and your kids ain’t come home from school yet?
You say your wife went out for a corned beef sandwich last weekend — the corned beef sandwich came back but she didn’t?
You say your furniture’s out all over the sidewalk cause you can’t pay the rent and you got chapped lips and paper cuts and your feet’s all swollen up and blistered from pounding the pavement looking for work?
Is that’s what’s troubling you, fella?”
(Then, as "Beautiful Dreamer" gave way to a marching band playing something boisterous by John Philip Sousa, he bellowed).

“Then lift your head up high!
Take a walk in the sun with that dignity and stick-to-it-iveness, and you’ll show the world, you’ll show them where to get off!
And you’ll never give up, never give up, never give up ((whap! whap!) — that ship!”
Then he'd do two or three more versions, with different jokes, but always followed up by never giving up that ship.

There is a live performance of this on YouTube.
Just type in Eddie Lawrence The Old Philosopher, and click on the one where you can see his face.
NOT one of the album covers.
An album cover will be at the beginning of that one too, but it's not the icon.
You all owe yourselves this.
Some people a little younger than me might be familiar with some of this because Soupy Sales, on his TV show, when he went to the radio to check the weather, would "stumble" across a cut from one of Eddie's albums.
Or he'd have Pookie the lion mime him.

Eddie Lawrence also had a very good part in the Broadway musical "Bells Are Ringing" and the distinction of writing the book and lyrics for the shortest running musical ever to open on Broadway.
It was "Kelly", and it ran one night.
Lawrence sued to prevent it from opening, after changes he didn't approve of were added.
It sounds like he had taste.
I also vaguely remember him briefly hosting a kiddie show on TV, not unlike "Howdy Doody", or maybe he was filling in for Buffalo Bob.
And whenever he did the live commercials, or when the kids in the Peanut Gallery were starting to bug him, he would mildly threaten them with "Thumps"
As in "If you kids keep this up, you'll be getting your thumps"
Or, If you don't buy these Tootsie Rolls, you're gonna get your thumps".
Occasionally he'd call them "your little thumperinos"
It made me hysterical.
He had a brief but memorable part in the film "The Night They Raided Minsky's"
He played one of the burlesque comics.
On the burlesque stage, he appeared in the sketch commonly known as "Crazy House".
In it, he played the patient in a hospital room, and people would come in and do crazy things
As each punchline was reached, Lawrence would punctuate it by yelling "Nurse! Nurse!", and rolling his eyes and his fingers.
As far as I'm concerned, he stole the picture right there.

He will be sorely missed, but it's really nice that he made it to be 95 years old.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

 

*****

Officially Legendary.

A while back, (last September, to be precise,) I wrote an eight part series of articles entitled ""Why I Am Not Babaloo Mandel".
It was essentially a response to my former writing partner Lowell Ganz's 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends website.
I followed it with a post entitled "Coda".
In "Coda", I informed my readers that I had just completed my own 4-hour interview at the same website.
I was told that it would probably take a few months before the interview would be put up on the website.
Well, a few months have since passed.
It is now March, and the interview is now online at the website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
It covers a lot of ground about my life and career.
It deals with a lot of what I covered in the "Babaloo Mandel" articles, in a somewhat less gritty fashion.
I essentially followed my late mother's advice with this one----"You should make a nice appearance", and "Speak out loud, and with expression".
People who have seen it say I look great, so that takes care of the first.
And I can't think of a time when I have not spoken out loud and with expression.
So at least on that level, she'd be pleased.
Maybe less so when I made fun of her here and there.
I'm also hearing that the interview is very entertaining.
The interviewer is always instructed not to laugh, thus she didn't.
But I had the cameraman and the boom-mike guy in stitches.
I know this because I could see it, and they told me afterwards.
I don't think you can hear them, though.
If you watch the first part, and then want to see the second part, it can get tricky.
Just click where it says "Interview" underneath where my picture is.
The same applies to the third and fourth parts.
If you're still having trouble, e-mail me, and I can try to guide you through it.
I'm not going to post again this week, because I'd like to have this one be at the top of the blog, to call as much attention to it as I can.
But I'll be back next week.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

 

*****

Calculations.

I went out for lunch with one of my friends here in Detroit last week at one of those restaurants that had lanterns over each table.
Kind of an upgraded Applebees, with better food.
The miracles of the 21st Century have eliminated two of my biggest weaknesses in life:
The GPS, which has neutralized my lack of any sense of direction behind the wheel, and my newly acquired app for a restaurant tip calculator, eliminating my inability to figure out how much of a tip  to leave, based on service received.
This week, the Malaysian Airliner is the top news story.
Last week, at the restaurant, it was the Ukraine.

I love intelligent verbal sparring with waitresses.
Call me sexist if you must, but I don't derive the same enjoyment verballizing with waiters, nor do they with me.
The young waitress we had that day was sharp as a tack.  We were making each other laugh repeatedly.
Part of good waitressing is how good a show you can put on.
It's not just about schlepping out food.
And she was brilliant at it.
We were having a grand old time.
I had already set her at 22% on my tip calculator
Then, I said to my friend, in front of the waitress,  You know what bugs me about this whole Ukraine situation?  It's knocked Chris Christie off the front page."
I consider the whole Chris Christie story just about the most compelling story of the last few years.
Perhaps not the most important, but certainly the most compelling.
It's classic Good Guys vs. Bad Guys.
You can't beat it.
And it's still unraveling.  Nothing should knock it off the front page.
This very sharp, very intelligent waitress stared at me and asked "Who's Chris Christie?
She hadn't a clue.
Then I asked "Do you  know what the Ukraine is?
She stared at me blankly.
I said "You know.  A  crane.  A bird.  And it goes  "Ooh, ooh".  Just like Gunther Toody."
Like I had a prayer with that one.
I learned the hard way that intelligence doesn't necessarily translate to knowledge.
And in this case, to have no respect for knowledge.
And this may seem a little harsh, but my only recourse was to roll down  my tip calculator to 13%.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

I See Nothing.

Cynthia Lynn died last week.
Until last week, I had no idea who Cynthia Lynn was.
That's because her only claim to fame was as Helga on the TV series "Hogan's Heroes".
I only watched "Hogan's Heroes" the first time it was on.
That's because I found it to be almost as big an atrocity as the Holocaust itself.
It was ostensibly based on Billy Wilder's great "Stalag 17".
But even though that film had it's comic touches, it was very much a serious movie.
The premise of "Hogan's Heroes"" was to portray Nazis as comic buffoons.
As idiots.
As non-threatening idiots.
In "Stalag 17", there was always menacing danger lurking.
My reaction to that singular viewing of "Hogan's Heroes" was quite similar to the first act audience's first response to "Springtime For Hitler" in "The Producers".
Except that I never recovered from it.
It's as if it was produced by Max Bialystock.
How does a Jew, who lost many of his ancestors to what went on in Concentration Camps, react to witnessing funny, silly Nazis?
If you're me, you're outraged.
And you don't watch again.
That's why I never heard of Cynthia Lynn.
Robert Clary is now the sole surviving member of the "Hogan's Heroes" cast.
You'd think he'd be particularly sensitive to the same concerns that I've had, since he spent most of his childhood in Concentration Camps.
But I guess a gig's a gig.
In the early 90's, I lived near Scottsdale Arizona.
One night I watched the A&E documentary about the murder of Bob Crane.
I realized that it took place about two miles from my house.
It was easy to track down.
So whenever friends would come to visit me in Scottsdale, I'd take them on a guided tour of the front of the apartment where Bob Crane was murdered.
That consistently provided me with more laughs than ""Hogan's Heroes" ever did.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card---"Prisoners"

This will be the last Report Card for the past movie season.
Then, next week, we will go back to real life.

"Prisoners" is essentially a two-part episode of "Law and Order---Criminal Intent"
That was a show that I really liked a lot.
And the quality here is pretty much at that level.
The main difference is that the father of the two kidnapping victims (Hugh Jackman), not a criminologist, is the savant equivalent of Vincent D'Onofrio on "L&O----Criminal Intent".
All that's missing is Jackman stooping way over like D'Onofrio to interrogate his witness.
And the cop running the investigation (Jake Gyllenhall) is a bit of a lunkhead.
I found this to be an interesting twist.
I found this to be a very good movie, although it really felt more like a really good TV show.

On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

Extremely.
A+.

Compelling even?

Sometimes.
A.

Is it controversial?

It's not really that deep.
B-.

Is it a story worth telling?

It is a ripping yarn.
A+.

Is it good storytelling?

Extremely.
A+.

Is it well written?

The writing serves the story very well..
A.

Is it well cast? Well played?  Well shot?

I love Hugh Jackman, and he's terrific in this.
Gyllenhall is okay.   It's shot well.
B+.

Is it too long? Too short?

It's long, but doesn't feel it.
A+.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Jackman seems a little too smart, but that's easily overlooked.  You certainly care about the characters.
B+.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

It manages to stay ahead of you, except at the very end.
B+.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

It's not really that kind of movie.
B..

Is it funny?

Occasionally
B..

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

It really felt like television.
C.

Is it impressive ?

Somewhat.
B+.

Overall grade: A-.

 The enjoyment here is purely while you watch it.  Not at all what you bring away from it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card---"Before Midnight"

This movie got a nomination for Best Screenplay.
It would have gotten my vote for Best Boring Screenplay.
That's about it.
After I saw it, I learned that it was the third of a trilogy.
I can't imagine what the first two were.
The first hour or so is merely amiable chatter among a husband and wife and their friends.
Then the friends go away and things get less amiable, and slightly more interesting.
Slightly more interesting than Really Boring.

 On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

Asked and answered.
C-.

Compelling even?

Never.
F.

Is it controversial?

Only on the issue of "How did they get three movies out of these characters?
F.

Is it a story worth telling?

Not once, much less three times.
F.

Is it good storytelling?

Totally out of balance.
F.

Is it well written?

Only when the couple starts arguing.
B-.

Is it well cast? Well played?  Well shot?

Not particularly, on any level.
C.
 
Is it too long? Too short?

WAY too long.
F.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Life can certainly be this tedious, but why immortalize it?
And no, I don't care about the characters.
F.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

I was surprised when it made it's turn and got sort of interesting.
B.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

I just barely recall it now.
F.

Is it funny?

No.
F.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

I keep trying to come up with new ways of saying "No", but no.
F.

Is it impressive ?

Never.
F.
Overall grade: C-..

 The celluloid definition of "artsy-fartsy".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card----"42"

This is the other ennobling film dealing with racial intolerance that I'm reporting on this week.
Unlike the others, I thought "42" was magnificent on almost every level.
It deserved an Oscar nomination, at least.
And based on the way the voting went, it should have won.
I thought that just in terms of importance, it deserved more than the others of it's ilk.
Everyone, of every generation, knows what went on with slavery.
But we have to keep reminding kids, who think that baseball was always integrated, how important Jackie Robinson was.
And "42" did a wonderful job of that.  

On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

Thoroughly.  And I knew all about it.  Imagine those who didn't.
A+.

Compelling even?

Totally.
A+.

Is it controversial?

It cuts it's teeth on controversy.
A+.

Is it a story worth telling?

Vitally
A+.

Is it good storytelling?

Excellent.
A+.

Is it well written?

Very.  Much was based on things that were actually said.
A.

Is it well cast? Well played? 

Harrison Ford bought tremendous presence to Branch Rickey.  The kid playing Jackie Robinson wasn't as interesting as Robinson himself.
B+.

Well shot?

I'm separating this question for the first time.  The shooting and the art direction in particular were so magnificent that it must be discussed separately.  I don't know how they managed to do it, but they managed to recreate, brick by brick, all the old ballparks that have been torn down that Robinson played in.  And all the teams' uniforms were perfectly recreated.  I know that this only matters to a rabid baseball fan, but I am one.  Care was taken.
A+.

Is it too long? Too short?

Never an issue.
A.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Of course, and of course.  I was a little surprised that, even though his character appeared in the film, nothing was made of Red Barber's expressing his reluctance to continue calling the games for the Dodgers.  Barber was from the Deep South, and had later expressed his regrets about feeling that way. Thus, his function in the film was as a mere sportscaster.  It makes me wonder if a scene about this was shot, but ended up on the cutting room floor.
B.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

Not really an issue.
No Grade.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Only about Red Barber, and how good Harrison Ford was.  Where was his nomination?
A.

Is it funny?

When it tries to be, which isn't often.
B.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

It depends on how big the TV screen in your house is, and whether you have HD.
B+.

Is it impressive ?

Totally.
A.

Overall grade: A.

This one was criminally ignored.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card---"Lee Daniel's 'The Butler' ".

Now that the Academy has rolled over and played dead for a picture ennobling the Black Experience, this and the next post will deal with two films with similar themes that the Academy completely ignored.
Beginning with "Lee Daniel's 'The Butler' ".
You kind of know you're in some sort of trouble when you give a possessive credit in the title to a director you've never heard of.
Seems, what's the word, pretentious?
This pretty much sums up the film.
I disliked it less than I disliked "Twelve Years A Slave", a dead horse that I will continue to flog at any opportunity, but that's not saying much.
This "Butler" film is essentially two movies.
One follows the butler character as he serves various Presidents in a career in the White House spanning generations.
The other follows his son, who has morphed himself into an Eldridge Cleaver type.
It's difficult to determine which is less interesting.
They each give each other a run for their money.
I was a little less impartial to the Butler's story.

On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

On rare occasions.
C-.

Compelling even?

Never.
F.

Is it controversial?

It seems to strive for it, but it really isn't.
C-.

Is it a story worth telling?

I saw no need.
D.

Is it good storytelling?

It was told rather tediously.
C-.

Is it well written?

There wasn't much to work with, and the writing certainly didn't transcend it
C-.

Is it well cast? Well played?  Well shot?

I suppose all three.  That's the kindest thing I can say about it.
A.

Is it too long? Too short?

A little long.
B-.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

I cared about the butler.  I didn't  care about his son.
B-.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

You don't even think about it in those terms.
C-.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Not a bit.
D.

Is it funny?

Never.
F.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

Maybe if you're black.  Maybe.
C-.

Is it impressive ?

It didn't impress me.
C.

Overall grade: C-.

It was really just pageantry..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****