I have this thing at my disposal called a Stat Counter.
It tells me all about my readership on the blog.
How many hits I'm getting per day, per week, where the hits are coming from, how long the reader is lingering on the article, and which article and/or articles they are lingering on.
Now, this isn't an exact science.
There is no accounting for what happens if the reader has a page of the website on, neglects it, and then goes back to it.
There is no way to actually determine how long an individual is actually lingering religiously on the blog.
But an interesting and unprecedented thing has happened.
There is this one reader, or perhaps one family, or two readers, or whatever, hailing from at or around Mountain View, California.
This is apparently near Salinas California.
And he or she or they are constant readers of the blog.
By constant, I mean hours at a time.
And this has been going on for at least several months.
Now don't get me wrong.
I don't feel like I'm being stalked.
I find it all very flattering.
Articles are constantly being read and re-read.
There are certain books that I have found to be consistently re-readable.
"Yes, I Can", Sammy Davis's autobiography, was one.
My sister and I would constantly read passages out loud to each other from "Yes I Can".
And it was very quotable.
The same thing pertains to Philip Roth's "Portnoy's Complaint"
I'm pleased to think that there are people out there who find my stuff re-readable.
But there is a point to my bringing all this.
You citizens of the Mountain View environs, how many of you that this applies to, are missing out on something.
You don't have to continually re-read things you've already read.
My e-books at the Amazon Kindle Store each contain roughly 500 pages each of articles that haven't been on the blog in quite some time.
"Show Runner"
"Show Runner Two, the sequel"
"The Man Is Dead"
and
"Report Cards" (This last one is closer to 300 pages.)
And I'm guessing that you haven't read any of them.
Just go there and type in my name
Now, I don't want anyone to think that this is just shameless pluggery on my part.
With the Kindle Books, Amazon makes most of the money anyway.
I only receive a mere pittance.
I'm simply trying to reward my Mountain View readership for their loyalty.
And I would like to hear from you personally.
Here is my e-mail address: macchus999@aol.com
Come in, Mountain View!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Friday, April 24, 2015
For Daily Use.
Lately, it has been more and more difficult for me to filter out commercials from my Tivo.
This is because I have been doing a lot more multi-tasking while having the TV on.
I'm not usually watching it.
I'm listening to it.
So I hear the commercials.
One that has gotten my attention is the one for Cialis.
Cialis is one of them boner pills.
I don't know if it's any better than any of them other boner pills on the market.
I don't have the need to indulge in the product in general.
But according to where I find these commercials, I seem to be the target audience.
In the Cialis commercials, it is repeatedly referred to as "Cialis, for daily use".
I think they are trying to create a catchphrase, and I think it's working.
This has all caused me to do some ruminating.
When my sister and I were kids, and we shared a private language.
One of the expressions that my sister created was "For days!"
Or, as she pronounced it, ""Fiddays!"
As in "How long did you have to stay at that wedding?"
"Fiddays!"
After one recent viewing, or listening, to the Cialis commercial, it occurred to me that my sister might have also been exposed
to it.
This led to me wondering if she remembered having added "Fiddays!" to the lexicon.
And if she had, whether it caused her to respond to the TV screen, "Cialis, Fiddaily Use!!
Or, at least, ""Cialis, Fiddays!!"
This prompted me to call her, and get to the bottom of all of this.
She had not seen the commercial.
She did, in fact, remember "Fiddays!!"
And she immediately saw the wisdom of matching the two together.
There was some debate as to whether it was funnier to say "Cialis, fiddaily use!!", or Cialis, fiddays!!"
It was a tossup.
She has now seen the commercial for the umpteenth time, and now, without exception, says, after the announcer says "Cialis..."
out loud, and with expression, "Fiddays!!", or upon occasion "Fiddaily use!!.
I have repeatedly mentioned that I consider my sister perhaps THE funniest person in the world.
Perhaps she is an acquired taste.
In any case, I must admit that I am not without influence.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
This is because I have been doing a lot more multi-tasking while having the TV on.
I'm not usually watching it.
I'm listening to it.
So I hear the commercials.
One that has gotten my attention is the one for Cialis.
Cialis is one of them boner pills.
I don't know if it's any better than any of them other boner pills on the market.
I don't have the need to indulge in the product in general.
But according to where I find these commercials, I seem to be the target audience.
In the Cialis commercials, it is repeatedly referred to as "Cialis, for daily use".
I think they are trying to create a catchphrase, and I think it's working.
This has all caused me to do some ruminating.
When my sister and I were kids, and we shared a private language.
One of the expressions that my sister created was "For days!"
Or, as she pronounced it, ""Fiddays!"
As in "How long did you have to stay at that wedding?"
"Fiddays!"
After one recent viewing, or listening, to the Cialis commercial, it occurred to me that my sister might have also been exposed
to it.
This led to me wondering if she remembered having added "Fiddays!" to the lexicon.
And if she had, whether it caused her to respond to the TV screen, "Cialis, Fiddaily Use!!
Or, at least, ""Cialis, Fiddays!!"
This prompted me to call her, and get to the bottom of all of this.
She had not seen the commercial.
She did, in fact, remember "Fiddays!!"
And she immediately saw the wisdom of matching the two together.
There was some debate as to whether it was funnier to say "Cialis, fiddaily use!!", or Cialis, fiddays!!"
It was a tossup.
She has now seen the commercial for the umpteenth time, and now, without exception, says, after the announcer says "Cialis..."
out loud, and with expression, "Fiddays!!", or upon occasion "Fiddaily use!!.
I have repeatedly mentioned that I consider my sister perhaps THE funniest person in the world.
Perhaps she is an acquired taste.
In any case, I must admit that I am not without influence.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
Last But Not Least....
The big Kahuna of all Battle-Axes---(drum roll, please...) Ethel Merman!
Mainly known as the great Broadway Musical Star that she was, she also made some indelible forays into battle-axedom.
Ethel never had much of a movie career.
The moguls deemed her too big for the movie screen.
They were wrong.
Whenever she made a movie, she was glorious in it.
Her approach to acting: When she was standing in the wings, waiting to go on for one of her opening nights, she was asked if she was nervous.
She replied "What do I have to be nervous about?? I know my lines!!"
She played a great battle-axe as Donald O'Connor's mother in "There's No Business Like Show Business", when he came home drunk one night, and she submerged his head under the a bathroom sink filled with water, almost killing him in the process.
She was the first Mama Rose in "Gypsy", and from all indications, played it totally one-dimensionally battle-axe.
Those who succeeded her in the role, some of whom I saw, Bernadette Peters, Tyne Daly, Patti Lupone, Angela Lansbury, Rosalind Russell, each added subtle three dimensional shadings.
None were battle-axes.
Ethel was.
But her Coup de Grace was her role in Stanley Kramer's "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World".
She played Milton Berle's hen-pecking mother-in-law.
To a fare-thee well.
No matter who else was in the picture, she hen-pecked them.
She was as funny as anyone could imagine, and was alone, worth the price of admission.
Until Ethel came along in that movie, there was a mold that needed breaking and she took it upon herself to break it.
She stands alone.
Okay. I'm done with this topic.
I'll bet some of you thought I'd never get here.
Perhaps it was a bit self-indulgent.
Perhaps I have been playing to the band.
But it amused me, and that has become the main reason I write this blog.
From the beginning of this series, I asked you to not offer any suggestions of those I have left out until the last entry.
Well, this is it.
If you feel that there is anyone I have egregiously left out, now is the time to make yourself heard in the comments section.
I hope to hear from you.
*****
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Mainly known as the great Broadway Musical Star that she was, she also made some indelible forays into battle-axedom.
Ethel never had much of a movie career.
The moguls deemed her too big for the movie screen.
They were wrong.
Whenever she made a movie, she was glorious in it.
Her approach to acting: When she was standing in the wings, waiting to go on for one of her opening nights, she was asked if she was nervous.
She replied "What do I have to be nervous about?? I know my lines!!"
She played a great battle-axe as Donald O'Connor's mother in "There's No Business Like Show Business", when he came home drunk one night, and she submerged his head under the a bathroom sink filled with water, almost killing him in the process.
She was the first Mama Rose in "Gypsy", and from all indications, played it totally one-dimensionally battle-axe.
Those who succeeded her in the role, some of whom I saw, Bernadette Peters, Tyne Daly, Patti Lupone, Angela Lansbury, Rosalind Russell, each added subtle three dimensional shadings.
None were battle-axes.
Ethel was.
But her Coup de Grace was her role in Stanley Kramer's "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World".
She played Milton Berle's hen-pecking mother-in-law.
To a fare-thee well.
No matter who else was in the picture, she hen-pecked them.
She was as funny as anyone could imagine, and was alone, worth the price of admission.
Until Ethel came along in that movie, there was a mold that needed breaking and she took it upon herself to break it.
She stands alone.
Okay. I'm done with this topic.
I'll bet some of you thought I'd never get here.
Perhaps it was a bit self-indulgent.
Perhaps I have been playing to the band.
But it amused me, and that has become the main reason I write this blog.
From the beginning of this series, I asked you to not offer any suggestions of those I have left out until the last entry.
Well, this is it.
If you feel that there is anyone I have egregiously left out, now is the time to make yourself heard in the comments section.
I hope to hear from you.
*****
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Friday, April 17, 2015
Mopping Up With The Battle-Axes.
We're almost home.
This is the next-to last Battle-Axe entry.
It consists primarily of those who would be considered Honorable Mentions.
Elvia Allman: Primarily remembered as Lucy and Ethel's supervisor when they worked on the chocolate candy conveyor belt line.
Elvia was the one who called out "Speed it up a little!!.
She played Oscar's mother on an episode of "The Odd Couple", and she was nobody to mess around with, in character, and in life.
Reta Shaw: Leant her formidable presence to many hard-edged women roles.
She was a regular on Mr. Peepers, and played an Army Sergeant style maid on the Odd Couple.
Doris Packer: Mostly known as Chatsworth Osborne's mother on "Dobie Gillis"---Nasty, nasty boy!!"
Hattie McDaniel: Won an Oscar as the battle-axe 'Mammy" in "Gone With The Wind"
She excelled.
There were three actresses who played "Beulah" on the TV series.
She was the only one who played the role as a battle-axe.
Roseanne: I don't think she'd object to the label.
Patsy Kelly: Hilariously unfeminine. Teamed with Thelma Todd, who was hilariously feminine, in many comedy shorts in the early 1930's.
Jo Van Fleet: Great actress. Best known as James Dean's mother, who he didn't know he had, in "East of Eden".
Always a formidable, threatening presence.
We'll wrap up the entire series next time, much to the relief of many, I'm guessing, with a tribute to the all-time Battle-Axe Queen.
After that, I will welcome your comments if there are any battle-axes that you don't think I gave their proper due.
'Til then.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
This is the next-to last Battle-Axe entry.
It consists primarily of those who would be considered Honorable Mentions.
Elvia Allman: Primarily remembered as Lucy and Ethel's supervisor when they worked on the chocolate candy conveyor belt line.
Elvia was the one who called out "Speed it up a little!!.
She played Oscar's mother on an episode of "The Odd Couple", and she was nobody to mess around with, in character, and in life.
Reta Shaw: Leant her formidable presence to many hard-edged women roles.
She was a regular on Mr. Peepers, and played an Army Sergeant style maid on the Odd Couple.
Doris Packer: Mostly known as Chatsworth Osborne's mother on "Dobie Gillis"---Nasty, nasty boy!!"
Hattie McDaniel: Won an Oscar as the battle-axe 'Mammy" in "Gone With The Wind"
She excelled.
There were three actresses who played "Beulah" on the TV series.
She was the only one who played the role as a battle-axe.
Roseanne: I don't think she'd object to the label.
Patsy Kelly: Hilariously unfeminine. Teamed with Thelma Todd, who was hilariously feminine, in many comedy shorts in the early 1930's.
Jo Van Fleet: Great actress. Best known as James Dean's mother, who he didn't know he had, in "East of Eden".
Always a formidable, threatening presence.
We'll wrap up the entire series next time, much to the relief of many, I'm guessing, with a tribute to the all-time Battle-Axe Queen.
After that, I will welcome your comments if there are any battle-axes that you don't think I gave their proper due.
'Til then.....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Some Of Your More Benign Battle-Axes.
These were actresses who were never really laff-riots, but definitely, consistently, played women you didn't want to mess with.
Maudie Prickett: Usually played spinsters. Had a recurring role as Jack Benny's secretary.
Jack seemed to have a penchant for finding battle-axes to play off of.
Nora Marlowe, Connie Gilchrist: Usually played charwomen with hearts of gold.
Connie's was a lot more gold than Nora's.
Audrey Christie: Henpecked her way through "Fair Exchange", where Eddie Foy Jr. was the victim.
She was also Billy Bigelow's nemesis and owner of the Carousel in the movie of the same name.
You always had the impression that she had the hots for Billy.
Nancy Kulp: Scored big on two Paul Henning series, "The Bob Cummings Show"e where she played bird-watcher Pamela Livingstone, pronouncd "stone", who continually lusted after Bob, to no avail.
Then, she became Mr. Drysdale's right-hand "man", where she spent the entire series lusting after Jethro, again, to no avail.
But she was totally hilarious.
Conchatta Ferrell: If but nothing but "Two and a Half Men", she belongs here.
Florence Stanley: Played Fish's wife opposite Abe Vigoda. Also replaced Bea Arthur as Yente the Matchmaker in Fiddler.
Kay Medford: Great, funny character actress. One strange piece of casting: She showed up as Andy Griffith's wife in Kazan's
""A Face in the Crowd". She must have been twenty years older than him. This might be explained by Kazan's original pursuit of Jackie Gleason for Griffith's part, then realized that he had to go younger.
And that he simply had to fire Kay Medford, but didn't.
Eileen Brennan: Except for "Private Benjamin", I always considered her to be a musical comedy performer.
But she earned her "stripes" with Private Benjamin".
Elsa Lanchester: Earned her place in battle-axe history by playing "The Bride of Frankenstein", and Charles Laughton's nurse in
"Witness For The Prosecution", where I think Laughton actually referred to her as a battle-axe.
Marcia Lewis: Another one of those actresses who played Mama Morton, the prison matron in "Chicago"
I allways found her to be a little sweeter than the usual battle axe.
Doris Singleton: A very attractive woman, who appeared in everything, and henpecked everyone.
Perhaps best known as Carolyn Applebee, who Lucy was always trying to impress.
It always helped Lucy to have a bitchier actress on stage than she was.
Next time, more shtarker actresses, leading up to the grand dame of them all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Maudie Prickett: Usually played spinsters. Had a recurring role as Jack Benny's secretary.
Jack seemed to have a penchant for finding battle-axes to play off of.
Nora Marlowe, Connie Gilchrist: Usually played charwomen with hearts of gold.
Connie's was a lot more gold than Nora's.
Audrey Christie: Henpecked her way through "Fair Exchange", where Eddie Foy Jr. was the victim.
She was also Billy Bigelow's nemesis and owner of the Carousel in the movie of the same name.
You always had the impression that she had the hots for Billy.
Nancy Kulp: Scored big on two Paul Henning series, "The Bob Cummings Show"e where she played bird-watcher Pamela Livingstone, pronouncd "stone", who continually lusted after Bob, to no avail.
Then, she became Mr. Drysdale's right-hand "man", where she spent the entire series lusting after Jethro, again, to no avail.
But she was totally hilarious.
Conchatta Ferrell: If but nothing but "Two and a Half Men", she belongs here.
Florence Stanley: Played Fish's wife opposite Abe Vigoda. Also replaced Bea Arthur as Yente the Matchmaker in Fiddler.
Kay Medford: Great, funny character actress. One strange piece of casting: She showed up as Andy Griffith's wife in Kazan's
""A Face in the Crowd". She must have been twenty years older than him. This might be explained by Kazan's original pursuit of Jackie Gleason for Griffith's part, then realized that he had to go younger.
And that he simply had to fire Kay Medford, but didn't.
Eileen Brennan: Except for "Private Benjamin", I always considered her to be a musical comedy performer.
But she earned her "stripes" with Private Benjamin".
Elsa Lanchester: Earned her place in battle-axe history by playing "The Bride of Frankenstein", and Charles Laughton's nurse in
"Witness For The Prosecution", where I think Laughton actually referred to her as a battle-axe.
Marcia Lewis: Another one of those actresses who played Mama Morton, the prison matron in "Chicago"
I allways found her to be a little sweeter than the usual battle axe.
Doris Singleton: A very attractive woman, who appeared in everything, and henpecked everyone.
Perhaps best known as Carolyn Applebee, who Lucy was always trying to impress.
It always helped Lucy to have a bitchier actress on stage than she was.
Next time, more shtarker actresses, leading up to the grand dame of them all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Friday, April 10, 2015
THE Funniest Battle-Axes. Part Two.
More great, great, hilarious battle-axes:
Verna Felton: Best known as easily the funniest performer on the sitcom "December Bride" as Hilda Crocker, Spring Byington's best friend. EVERYBODY played straight to her, as she delivered sledgehammer punch-lines that never missed.
She also scored big as Dennis Day's mother on "The Jack Benny Show".
It was an inspiration to have someone play Dennis Day's mother.
And casting Verna Felton to play her was a bigger inspiration.
Beatrice Pons: Utterly hilarious as Joe E. Ross's hatchet-faced wife on both ""Sergeant Bilko" and "Car 54, Where Are You?"
I had never seen her in anything else before or since, but lately she has shown up in the original "Goldbergs" series, where she played straight to Gertrude Berg.
Gertrude Berg seemed to decree that no other actress get laughs besides Gertrude Berg.
Amanda Randolph: Absolutely owned the stage as Danny Thomas's maid, Louise, on "Make Room For Daddy".
Same deal as Kingfish's mother-in-law on "Amos 'n Andy.
A major hoot.
Nancy Walker: A great Battle-axe before she was ever Rhoda's mother.
Usually on Broadway. She was a great physical comedienne.
Honorable Mention: Frances Langford. She carved a major battle-axe niche for herself as Blanche Bickerson on "The Bickersons"
Only problem was that they very rarely gave her the punch-lines.
Don Ameche got all the punch-lines.
So Langford did all the straight set-ups.
It became one-note, and repetitious.
I don't know where the blame lies.
But the show itself was extremely funny.
Next time, more benign battle-axes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Verna Felton: Best known as easily the funniest performer on the sitcom "December Bride" as Hilda Crocker, Spring Byington's best friend. EVERYBODY played straight to her, as she delivered sledgehammer punch-lines that never missed.
She also scored big as Dennis Day's mother on "The Jack Benny Show".
It was an inspiration to have someone play Dennis Day's mother.
And casting Verna Felton to play her was a bigger inspiration.
Beatrice Pons: Utterly hilarious as Joe E. Ross's hatchet-faced wife on both ""Sergeant Bilko" and "Car 54, Where Are You?"
I had never seen her in anything else before or since, but lately she has shown up in the original "Goldbergs" series, where she played straight to Gertrude Berg.
Gertrude Berg seemed to decree that no other actress get laughs besides Gertrude Berg.
Amanda Randolph: Absolutely owned the stage as Danny Thomas's maid, Louise, on "Make Room For Daddy".
Same deal as Kingfish's mother-in-law on "Amos 'n Andy.
A major hoot.
Nancy Walker: A great Battle-axe before she was ever Rhoda's mother.
Usually on Broadway. She was a great physical comedienne.
Honorable Mention: Frances Langford. She carved a major battle-axe niche for herself as Blanche Bickerson on "The Bickersons"
Only problem was that they very rarely gave her the punch-lines.
Don Ameche got all the punch-lines.
So Langford did all the straight set-ups.
It became one-note, and repetitious.
I don't know where the blame lies.
But the show itself was extremely funny.
Next time, more benign battle-axes.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
THE Funniest Battle-Axes.
Last time, when I discussed the movie "Caged", I neglected to mention that it was a relentlessly grim movie.
The seven, count 'em, seven battle-axes in "Caged" were not the type that you would hire because of their comedic abilities.
They were, in general, menacing, scary women.
As they should be.
This week, I'm going to talk about women who would have been totally miscast in "Caged"
Because they were all hilarious.
And all one-dimensionally funny.
Their mere presence would make you laugh.
They'd at least make ME laugh.
As soon as they'd show up.
The first time I saw Iris Adrian show up was in the very first episode of "The Abbott and Costello" TV show.
Right off the top.
Bud and Lou emerged from their brownstone apartment building, and stopped on the landing.
Iris Adrian came storming up the stairs, took one look at Costello, and, wlelding her folded umbrella, bellowed in her shrill voice,
"How dare you remind me of somebody I hate!!", and clopped him over the head with her umbrella.
And we were off to the races.
She made an impression.
She graduated to the Jack Benny Show, where she played a succession of waitresses, manicurists, secretaries, and as a last resort, Jack's date for the evening.
When Barbara Nichols was busy.
Benny knew he was slumming.
Whatever job she held, she could be counted on saying to him "Hiya, Mac!, to which Benny would respond "That's JACK!!"
She showed up to audition for me, and, delighted to see that she was still alive, put her to work in three different series.
Her work in "The Ted Knight Show" was exemplary.
The main reason I started this series was that a friend of mine sent me a DVD that contained a hilarious episode of "My Friend Irma". Iris Adrian had a major role in it.
On the same DVD was an episode of the series "Angel"
It was uproarious.
Primarily because because of that hilarious battle-axe, Bella Bruck.
Bella Bruck can best be described as Doris Roberts if Doris Roberts was funny.
There is no room here for Doris Roberts.
Doris Roberts was way too three dimensional.
She always wanted you to feel sorry for her.
I didn't. Ever.
We used Bella Bruck three times on "The Odd Couple"
Once, as Oscar's extremely slow secretary.
She consistently made Jack Klugman laugh during rehearsals.
It was always the highlight of our yearly gag reels at the rap party.
Bella Bruck would have been a much better version of Raymond's mother.
Estelle Harris: George Costanzas mother. 'Nuff said.
Honorable mention; Clara Peller---"Where's the Beef??"
There are more hilarious battle-axes that I will address next time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
The seven, count 'em, seven battle-axes in "Caged" were not the type that you would hire because of their comedic abilities.
They were, in general, menacing, scary women.
As they should be.
This week, I'm going to talk about women who would have been totally miscast in "Caged"
Because they were all hilarious.
And all one-dimensionally funny.
Their mere presence would make you laugh.
They'd at least make ME laugh.
As soon as they'd show up.
The first time I saw Iris Adrian show up was in the very first episode of "The Abbott and Costello" TV show.
Right off the top.
Bud and Lou emerged from their brownstone apartment building, and stopped on the landing.
Iris Adrian came storming up the stairs, took one look at Costello, and, wlelding her folded umbrella, bellowed in her shrill voice,
"How dare you remind me of somebody I hate!!", and clopped him over the head with her umbrella.
And we were off to the races.
She made an impression.
She graduated to the Jack Benny Show, where she played a succession of waitresses, manicurists, secretaries, and as a last resort, Jack's date for the evening.
When Barbara Nichols was busy.
Benny knew he was slumming.
Whatever job she held, she could be counted on saying to him "Hiya, Mac!, to which Benny would respond "That's JACK!!"
She showed up to audition for me, and, delighted to see that she was still alive, put her to work in three different series.
Her work in "The Ted Knight Show" was exemplary.
The main reason I started this series was that a friend of mine sent me a DVD that contained a hilarious episode of "My Friend Irma". Iris Adrian had a major role in it.
On the same DVD was an episode of the series "Angel"
It was uproarious.
Primarily because because of that hilarious battle-axe, Bella Bruck.
Bella Bruck can best be described as Doris Roberts if Doris Roberts was funny.
There is no room here for Doris Roberts.
Doris Roberts was way too three dimensional.
She always wanted you to feel sorry for her.
I didn't. Ever.
We used Bella Bruck three times on "The Odd Couple"
Once, as Oscar's extremely slow secretary.
She consistently made Jack Klugman laugh during rehearsals.
It was always the highlight of our yearly gag reels at the rap party.
Bella Bruck would have been a much better version of Raymond's mother.
Estelle Harris: George Costanzas mother. 'Nuff said.
Honorable mention; Clara Peller---"Where's the Beef??"
There are more hilarious battle-axes that I will address next time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Thursday, April 2, 2015
THE Great Battle-Axe Movie.
1950.
A movie came out called "Caged".
It contained at least seven, count 'em, seven battle-axes.
Figures.
It took place in a women's prison.
Sort of an "expose" on life in a women's prison.
There were even some whom you ordinarily wouldn't think of as battle-axes:
Ellen Corby, better known as Ma Walton in that series.
Jane Darwell, better known as Ma Joad in "The Grapes of Wrath".
Both got to show their fangs in "Caged".
Lee Patrick, known to many as Henrietta Topper, Cosmo's wife in that wonderful series "Topper".
But that was an excursion for her.
She usually played hard-boiled dames, like Bogart's secretary in "The Maltese Falcon".
And like in "Caged".
Then you had your usual gang of traditional battle-axes:
Agnes Moorehead, as the Warden.
Hope Emerson, that six foot four inch monster of a "woman", who was the chief enforcer of prison policy.
She was also well remembered for her appearance in "Adam's Rib", where in a show of women's equality, she lifted Spencer Tracy over her head with one hand, by his one heel.
She went on to play "Mother" in Peter Gunn", in a desperate attempt to make that show interesting.
I think she died during the run, and was replaced by the afore-mentioned Minerva Urecal.
The afore-mentioned-Betty Garde, very scary, was also in "Caged"
Jan Sterling battle-axed her way through "Caged".
Maybe you didn't consider Jan Sterling to be a battle-axe.
I call your attention to Billy Wilder's great "Ace In The Hole", where, as the wife of a miner stuck in a cave-in, she was ready to drop her drawers for Kirk Douglas, who was there to revive his career as a big-shot reporter.
There was also an episode of "Naked City" where she badgered her small-time ex-con husband, Jack Klugman, to kidnap a little girl, and then to try to force him to kill the child when things didn't pan out well.
That's battle-axe enough for me.
"Caged" is pretty impressive.
Seven battle-axes, seven.
In one movie.
Ya can't beat it.
I don't want to scare you or anything, but we're not nearly done with the subject matter.
If you're completely sick of it, you might want to come back in about three weeks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
A movie came out called "Caged".
It contained at least seven, count 'em, seven battle-axes.
Figures.
It took place in a women's prison.
Sort of an "expose" on life in a women's prison.
There were even some whom you ordinarily wouldn't think of as battle-axes:
Ellen Corby, better known as Ma Walton in that series.
Jane Darwell, better known as Ma Joad in "The Grapes of Wrath".
Both got to show their fangs in "Caged".
Lee Patrick, known to many as Henrietta Topper, Cosmo's wife in that wonderful series "Topper".
But that was an excursion for her.
She usually played hard-boiled dames, like Bogart's secretary in "The Maltese Falcon".
And like in "Caged".
Then you had your usual gang of traditional battle-axes:
Agnes Moorehead, as the Warden.
Hope Emerson, that six foot four inch monster of a "woman", who was the chief enforcer of prison policy.
She was also well remembered for her appearance in "Adam's Rib", where in a show of women's equality, she lifted Spencer Tracy over her head with one hand, by his one heel.
She went on to play "Mother" in Peter Gunn", in a desperate attempt to make that show interesting.
I think she died during the run, and was replaced by the afore-mentioned Minerva Urecal.
The afore-mentioned-Betty Garde, very scary, was also in "Caged"
Jan Sterling battle-axed her way through "Caged".
Maybe you didn't consider Jan Sterling to be a battle-axe.
I call your attention to Billy Wilder's great "Ace In The Hole", where, as the wife of a miner stuck in a cave-in, she was ready to drop her drawers for Kirk Douglas, who was there to revive his career as a big-shot reporter.
There was also an episode of "Naked City" where she badgered her small-time ex-con husband, Jack Klugman, to kidnap a little girl, and then to try to force him to kill the child when things didn't pan out well.
That's battle-axe enough for me.
"Caged" is pretty impressive.
Seven battle-axes, seven.
In one movie.
Ya can't beat it.
I don't want to scare you or anything, but we're not nearly done with the subject matter.
If you're completely sick of it, you might want to come back in about three weeks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
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