Nobody Is Ever Safe.

It's been my experience when doing pilots for the networks that, no matter how powerful you may think you are, it turns out to be nothing when a network is nervous.
Nobody was as powerful as we were when we got our development deal right after "Laverne and Shirley" became a huge hit.
The head of programming for CBS invited us for lunch at the CBS private dining room, the food was great, and they essentially asked us who we wanted to star in our first pilot after we did "The Ted Knight Show".
We almost unhesitatingly responded "Rita Moreno" based on past experience.
And they said, practically in unison "We love her!"
I think we could have said "Doodles Weaver" and they'd have said "We love him!"
But we didn't test that theory.
Thus we put together a pilot for Rita Moreno, one that I'm very proud of.
We knew the limitations of our power.
It first reared its ugly head when we did a pilot with Ted Knight.
That was their idea, but we thought it was a good one.
And we ended up doing six episodes that ended up on their schedule in 1978.
During the first rehearsal for the network, we had an actor signed as a regular to play Ted's brother.
His name was Mickey Deems.
I had seen Mickey Deems many times, and always loved his work.
CBS gave us their approval, and I thought it was a no-brainer.
Whenever I've cast anyone, I've always thought it was a no-brainer.
I had never recast anyone because I felt that I'd made a mistake.
So, at the first public rehearsal, Mickey Deems essentially stepped on his dick.
I chalked it up to nerves, knowing how solid he was when the chips were down.
The network immediately wanted him replaced.
I considered this an affront, but I didn't think it was worth going to the mat for Mickey Deems.
So further auditions were held, and another actor, Normann Burton, was selected.
Everything he did was over the top, and I actively disliked his work.
CBS loved him.
Primarily because he wasn't Mickey Deems.
Both actors are dead now, so I don't have any qualms talking about them.
And nobody at CBS is still there, so I have no problem trashing them.

Then, we did the Rita Moreno pilot, and we needed to cast someone to play Rita's younger sister.
We decided to cast an actress who we had used on "Busting Loose" in a small part and she really scored.
Again, a no-brainer.
At the first public rehearsal, she less than pleased CBS.
They wanted us to cut her part down.
Hell, at least they didn't make us fire her.
And we were about eight minutes too long.
Much of the eight minutes came out of her part, which she did fine.
But there was an insurrection among much of the supporting cast.
They thought that this was something we wanted to do.
And we were met with scowls and scorn for the rest of the week.
They had no comprehension of how little power we actually had.
Rita, a major veteran of pilots, had no problem with what we had to do.
She was and is a total pro.
Not many credits since for the actress in question.
It's a shame.
She deserved better.
And she probably still blames me.

----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Some Thoughts About The Emmys.

You know, I remember when the Emmy Awards was this pretty huge event.
It sure isn't that anymore.
At least for me.
I remember when I knew most if not all of the nominees.
I remember when I knew most if not all the shows that were nominated.
Not no more.
Not no how.
And I binge-watch a lot of shows.
But when I do know the shows, and the nominees, I usually still have a rooting interest as to who should win.
But I'm much more concerned about who shouldn't win.
Like for instance, "Veep".
I watched it the first season, and was amazed at how snarky it was.
How there was nobody that I cared about.
So I gave up.
But they kept winning Emmy Awards, so I guess they figured that they were on to something.
That this keeps winning, and Louis C.K. has never won anything is reason enough not to watch.
That Julia Louis-Dreyfuss keeps winning when Amy Schumer is on the ballot is a travesty.

Andy Samberg is easily the worst host the event has ever had.
I've never witnessed him to have even a shred of talent.
And he can't do anything with a straight face.
When they did the "In Memoriam" segment, someone had the good taste to not have him introduce it.

Viola Davis accepted her award as if she was the first black actress to win an Emmy.
And that she represented all black actresses.
She's not, and she doesn't.
If she had lost to a white actress would she have booed?
I had the impression from her speech that she would.
I never saw "Game of Thrones' and still have no desire to.
And we all knew that Peter Dinklage was going to win as Best Supporting Actor in a Drama.
I love "Better Call Saul", but in what universe is that a drama?
Jonathan Banks, a regular on" Saul" is the best thing on it, and who reminds me of a friend of mine named Marv so much that we always call him Marv when he appears on the screen, who was nominated in the same category as Dinklage, knew he didn't have a chance.
When he lost, the camera cut to him and he had an expression on his face that read "Why did I even leave the house?
The only thing it did make me want to see was "Olive Kitteridge", because I love Frances McDormand and Richard Jenkins.
I wouldn't have even known that it existed otherwise.

It did have some nice moments.
Jon Hamm's acceptance speech after losing all those other times was quite ingratiating.
And Tracy Morgan, who I was never much of a fan of, was wonderful with everything he said.
If anything else on the show last night had that impact, it might have reclaimed event status.

----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Some Things Are Better When You Binge.

Some TV shows actually improve when you binge-watch them.
One of my cable channels is called "Decades".
Every weekend, they offer up one old series that you can binge-watch.
One episode after another.
All weekend.
This past weekend, they aired episodes of "The Abbott and Costello Show".
I watched them all day Saturday.
On Sunday, I went to the Bears game, so I did not stick with it.
There were two seasons of "Abbott and Costello".
1952 (39 episodes) and 1953(39 episodes).
The '52 season was hilarious.
The '53 season was abysmal.
The '52 season had a live audience, vaudeville, burlesquish feeling to it.
The '53 season had a one-camera much slower-paced feel, as if it was shot underwater.
When I watched on Saturday, it was all shows from the '52 season.
I had never binge-watched it before.
It was addictive.
It was funny in a way I'd never experienced it being before.
Every element was perfect.
From the opening credit music to the two of them entering in front of a stage curtain, it felt like "Okay folks, sit back and we are just going to simply entertain your asses off".
And they invariably did.
They had great peripheral characters.
Their landlord, Sidney Fields, played by a bald man named Sidney Fields, often got "Story By" credit.
This meant most-likely that he took old burlesque sketches and committed them to paper.
He was a hilarious foil.
He also doubled, tripled, and quadrupled as Mr. Fields' brother, Professor Melonhead, Doctor Melonhead, Lawyer Melonhead,
Melonheads of all varieties.
All of them wearing ludicrous toupees, designed to fool nobody.
That was the beauty of burlesque.
You were never bound by any pretense of reality.
It was pure sketch.
There was Joe Besser, playing an eleven year old named Stinky, complete with Little Lord Fauntleroy costume.
Joe Besser was easily in his forties at the time.
And you bought into it.
Because it was worth it. He was that funny.
There was my personal favorite, Mr. Botchacaloupe, played by a wonderful actor named Joe Kirk, whom I had never seen in anything else before or since.
Mr. Botchacaloupe was the all purpose Italian stereotype. He sounded like Chico Marx. Only hipper.
He always owned a store.
And it was a different kind of store each time.
If Bud and Lou had to go to a record store, it was Mr. Botchacaloupe's record store.
This occurred when, in order to impress his girlfriend, Hilary Brooke, a tall statuesque woman, way out of Costello's league, that he could play the piano, Abbott had the brilliant idea that they'd get a record, and Abbott would be planted behind Hilary's piano, and on cue he'd put on the record and Lou would mime playing as if playing to the record.
What could possibly go wrong?
So Botchacaloupe suggests a record:
Botchacaloupe: How about this-a-one? Jinjadanelle daneeva du gan, moutza ganda glitza dian, moutza gan dida gwanda da bell,
moutza ganda de la Jinjadanelle.
Costello: What does that mean?
Botchacaloupe: "Ophelia".
Costello: I don't know. What else have you got?
Botchacaloupe: How 'bout this-a-one. It's called "Amole"
Costello: What does that mean?
Botchacaloupe: It means "When I went down south to Alabammy to see my mammy, I go through the back door, she goes through the front door, we miss each other for 'tree weeks.
Upon the rejection of "Amole", Botchacaloupe smashes the record on Costello's head.
Botchacaloupe lost his temper easily.
Another time Botchacaloupe owned a bakery. It was Costello's birthday and nobody cared, so he went to Botchacaloupe's bakery so Botchacaloupe could bake him a birthday cake, Costello had very specific needs for this cake, after a half-hour Botchacaloupe brings out this gorgeous, enormous birthday cake.
Costello is impressed but is disappointed that there are no marshmallows baked in the cake.
Botchacaloupe: You want marshamaloons? Why you no tell-a-me you wanna marshamaloons?
After two more passes, Costello is totally pleased with the result.
Botchacaloupe: Okay, where do you want me to send it?
Costello: I don't want you to send it anywhere. Just bring me some coffee. I'll eat it right here.
Botchacaloupe has had enough, and pushes Costello's face into the top of the cake.
Like I said, Botchacaloupe lost his temper easily.

Abbott was also a bit of a psychotic.
They would go into a restaurant.
Abbott: Now we've only got enough for one of us. So when the waitress asks you what you want, you don't want anything.
No matter what she says, you don't want a thing.
Costello: I don't want nothin'.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
The waitress approaches.
Waitress: What can I get for you boys?
Abbott: I'll have a Tuna Fish sandwich and a cup of coffee.
Costello: And what about you, handsome?
Costello: I don't want anything.
Abbott immediately turns on him.
Abbott: What do you mean, you don't want anything? You're in a restaurant. A place of business. You can't just come in here and not order anything. Order something!
Costello: I don't want anything.
Abbott: Order something small.
Costello: I'll have a small steak.
At this point, Abbott slaps Costello hard in the face.
They did variations on this constantly.
And when you watch this show in binge form, the more often he does it, the funnier it is.
That first season was played at a breakneck pace.
Unmatched on that level by any other show.
I can't recommend this experience highly enough.

----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Directors As Hacks.

There is this wonderful documentary that can be found on Netflix.
It's called "Casting By"
It examines the extraordinary influence that casting directors have had on major films.
Most of the major directors have given enormous credit to their casting directors.
The irony is that there is no award given at the Oscars for casting directors.
They'll give them for editors, sound editors, other technical achievements, that fill up the overwhelming amount of time taken up at the Oscar ceremonies---but nothing for casting directors whose contribution is far more significant than those who receive those technical awards.
"Casting By" is a virtual love letter to Marion Dougherty generally regarded as the queen of casting.
Ignored throughout awards time because of the existing rules.
She found Jon Voight for "Midnight Cowboy", Dustin Hoffman for "The Graduate" and countless other creative major contributions to casting of major movies.
There was a major push to provide Ms. Dougherty with an honorary Oscar.
People like Robert Redford and Al Pacino wrote letters on her behalf to the head of the Directors' Guild whose attitude was that casting is merely an extension of the director's vision. The casting director deserved no credit whatsoever.
The head of the Director's Guild was this appropriately named asshole-----Taylor Hackford.
In this documentary, you get to see and hear just exactly how big an asshole he is.
Hackford's best known film was "An Officer and a Gentleman"
I never saw it, as usual, frightened away by the leading lady, Debra Winger, whom to my knowledge has never given a decent performance.
So I'm sure this movie contained not a moment of humor.
Checking his IMDB, I don't see any creative casting choices that he ever made.
There are two kinds of directors, excluding writer-directors, whom I consider to be visionaries. They are executing their own vision from their own pages.
Otherwise, there are only a handful of visionaries: Spielberg, Scorcese, George Lucas, and Francis Ford Coppola, who also writes.
Everyone else who directs movies are functionaries.
And are interchangeable.
They become directors for reasons other than how brilliant they are.
That's Taylor Hackford.
He has no writing credits to speak of.
He feels wa-a-a-ay too good about himself.
And he denied Marion Doughterty's honorary Oscar.
She died in 2011, Oscarless.
I've worked with Ms. Dougherty's disciples, and they are invaluable and wonderful.
Always providing me with wonderful choices.
And I'm pretty sure that I have a much greater knowledge of the talent pool than Hackford to begin with.
More respect should have been paid, and more awards should have been given out.
If Hackford didn't think his casting people deserved awards he has every right to tell them not to submit their names.
But he has no right to impose his ridiculous views on the rest of the industry.

----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****