"What??? And Leave Show Business???

There was an actress with a list of credits a mile long, mostly from the 1930's into the mid 1940's.
Her name was June Gittelson.
She was in the original "King Kong", "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington", and "Gold Diggers of 1933"
I don't remember her in any of them.
And I don't remember most of her other movies
She was predominantly a bit player.
She was extremely obese.
In over forty of her IMDB entries, which was most of them,  her character is described as "fat girl, or 'heavy-set girl".
Maybe it's a record.
She came to my attention when recently I watched the movie "Sing, You Sinners" on TCM.
"Sing, You Sinners" is a delightful musical comedy starring Bing Crosby, Fred MacMurray, and a very young Donald O'Connor.
They play nightclub entertainers.  And there's a moment in one of their numbers where Bing Crosby invites a huge obese lady to dance with him.
And that was the first time I laid eyes on June Gittelson.
To my knowledge.
This led me to the IMDB page for "Sing, You Sinners".
There was an actress billed as "fat girl (uncredited)"
This led me to wonder how many other actresses shared the same skill set for work.
I don't know how often she had to audition for her roles.
Was it simply "Get me June Gittelson!!!"  or "Get me a June Gittelson type!!
Or did she have to trudge over to whichever studio was holding auditions for fat girls this week, where she had to face a roomful of other fat girls.
I'm guessing that she not only had to trudge, but had to trudge by bus.
"The Odd Couple" had it's own version of June Gittelson.
Her name was June Smaney.
Whenever we did Felix's opera club she was there as a member.
Tony insisted.
She sang, too.
Lot's o' credits, but only one that referred to her as "fat lady"
June Gittelson left us in 1983.  Almost to the point where casting her in anything would  be considered wildly politically incorrect.
But that didn't stop me from hiring a fat lady in an episode of "She's The Sheriff" where we were doing a play on the expression  "It ain't over until the fat lady sings".
And we got a real fat lady who sings.
But I remember being quite solicitous and apologetic about the fact that she was cast because she was hefty.
She said "Don't worry about it".
And at least she sang great.
I don't even remember her  name.
I couldn't believe that either June was happy about her position in show business.
Who knows?  Maybe they had totally blissful lives.
I know they both ate well.
And if I hadn't brought it up, probably nobody would remember June Gittelson's name either.
So if I rescued June Gittelson from complete obscurity for this brief time,, giving her one day in the sun, then maybe I've accomplished something.

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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

The Greatest Comedy Sketch I Ever Saw.

Now,  I know that comedy is completely subjective,  but I'm here to make the case
that there is one sketch that appeared on TV that was funnier, more clever, more imaginative, with more verbal dexterity, and more demanding on its actors than anything else I've ever seen.
And this includes "The, Honeymooners' "Chef of the Future" and Nichols and May's
"$65 Dollar Funeral".  Even Monty Pythons "Dead Parrot" Sketch.
These are mere contenders.
The unmitigated champeen, in my humble opinion is a sketch that appeared on
"The Four Star Revue" in 1950, and featured the host, Jack Carson, and guest Betty Kean.
I first saw this sketch about twenty years ago, when I found it at a store that specializes
in vintage TV VHS tapes.
Since VHS has gone the way of the dodo bird, I haven't been able to watch it, much less
share it with anybody.
Welcome to the twenty-first century.
A YouTube Channel called Classic TV Shows has added a whole slew of vintage stuff
that is priceless, and includes this edition of "The Four Star Revue".
I would have written about this sooner, but I wouldn't have had any way of proving
that I am right about this.
Again, it's just my opinion, but an educated one.
It was posted in February of 2016.
Go to YouTube and judge for yourself.
Type in Four Star Revue, November 22nd, 1950.
It involves Jack, and Betty, and three telephone booths.
It can be found just after the 34 minute mark, and runs about nine minutes.
It was written by Nat Hiken and Billy Friedberg.
Two major shtarkers.
They also did Sergeant Bilko.
Even if you don't agree with me, I defy you not to enjoy it.

-----------------------------------------------------------  
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Ordering Things From The TV.

It has long been my ambition to have enough money so that if I see any ad on TV, that I could simply dial the toll-free number and order the product in question.
I've had enough money to do that for quite a while.
But I never indulged myself in that endeavor until about three weeks ago.
There was a product, that, if it worked, would actually upgrade my life quite a bit.
You may have seen this ad.
It's for the Get-Up-And-Go Cane.
I've been using a cane since even before my stroke, a year-and-a-half ago.
And the one thing I haven't been able to do is lift myself up from a seated position without help.
This Get-Up-And-Go Cane would seem to be a godsend.
Forty bucks.  Seems worth it.
I call the number,  I order it.
A week-and-a-half goes by.
No cane.
But I get a call from some woman from a foreign land thanking me for my order and in gratitude, they are sending me a pair of diamond earrings.
I said "Fine, just put it in the box" . 
She said no, we have to ship it separately".
I said "And who pays for shipping?"  She says "You do".
I said "don't send it.".
Okay, I'm dealing with racketeers.
I call back the toll-free number, and after about twenty minutes on hold,  I speak to a live agent
(most likely from India).
I'm told that my credit card has been declined.
This begs the question "Why didn't anyone call me to let me know that the card has been declined?"
and "Why are you offering me jewelry". 
They had no satisfactory answer for either question.
But I still wanted this cane.  So I gave them another credit card, and had them transfer me to the person who approves the credit cards.  (Another twenty minutes on hold).
This obvious foreigner tells me that the card has been approved, and that the cane will arrive within two and three business days.
Three business days came and went.
On the fourth business day, I call back (another twenty minutes on hold) and am told that I placed four orders for this cane, which begs the questions "Where did they come up with four orders?" and "Why would anyone order more than ONE of  these canes." 
So they cancelled TWO of the four canes. 
That's the best that they could do, because they both had been shipped.
And one was sent using the credit card they had told me was declined.
This fell on deaf ears.
They said that upon delivery, I could decline one of them and would not be charged for the second one. 
And it would take at least seven more working days before the cane would arrive.
So I waited and waited, and true to their word, at the end of the seventh day, one package containing
the Get-Up-And-Go cane arrived. 
I guess that in the interim, they realized that one of them was ordered with a credit card that they had declined.
I open the box, and assemble it.
What do you know?
It doesn't work.
I can't lift myself up with it.
It does make it easier for me to raise myself up from a seat where I have a table to hold on to.
Is that worth forty bucks?
I suppose.
That's why I'm not sending it back.
But it's certainly not what I paid for.
Was it worth the hassle?
It certainly was not.
Do I feel ripped off?
I certainly do.
Be careful what you wish for.
You might just get it.

-----------------------------------------------------------  
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Mr. New Orleans.

I just  learned that Pete Fountain, the great jazz clarinetist,  has died in New Orleans.
I have only seen one obit so far.
From The Advocate in New Orleans.
In it, it refers to him as both 83 and 86.
That's how it is with obituaries.
You always find more than one age listed.
But not usually in the same obit.
We are getting more and more careless.
And Pete Fountain certainly deserved better than that.
Oh...another one has popped up confirming 86.
Pete Fountain has been one of my all-time favorites for as far back as I can remember.
No one had his touch.
Benny Goodman came close,  but was more inhibited.
Artie Shaw was more of a serious musician.
Woody Herman just didn't have the same set of chops.
Pete Fountain had a level of exuberance in his playing and command of his instrument that nobody else had.
My favorite of his albums, of which I have almost all, is "Mr. New Orleans"
A dozen up tunes, all in the same march tempo.
If you don't have it, get it.
Or at least listen to it on Spotify.

He appeared on the Johnny Carson "Tonight Show" 59 times, or 62, depending on which obituary you believe.
Now that Carson is back on in reruns I hope I get to see most if not all of these appearances.
On my one trip to New Orleans, I was just tagging along on one of my wife's business trips.
I told her that we must make a beeline to Pete Fountain's Club, praying that he was in town.
He was, and we went, and he simply blew the roof off of the dump.
It was sensational.
He had a rare foray into vocals.
Herewith are his lyrics to the old standard "You're Nobody's Sweetheart Now":

"You're Nobody's Sweetheart Now,
Nobody's Sweetheart Now,
Nobody's
Sweetheart Now,
Nobody's Sweetheart
Now-ow-ow-ow-ow,
You're Nobody's Sweetheart Now,
Nobody's Sweetheart Now,
Nobody's
Sweetheart Now
Nobody's Sweetheart Now-ow-ow-ow,
You're Nobody's Sweetheart Now,
Because you're Nobody's Sweetheart Now."

What's better than that? 
They don't sing 'em like that anymore.  What a hoot.
I have that someplace.  I'd have to dig it up.

There will be a traditional Jazz Funeral after the mass in the French Quarter in New Orleans.
If I was able to walk better, I'd have already made my travel plans to participate in it.
But my marching days are behind me.

R.I.P.,  Pete.

-----------------------------------------------------------  
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.