Animal Acts. Part One.

Going back to the Ed Sullivan Show days, I have always been a sucker for animal acts.
Ed Sullivan, beginning next Monday, is beginning an extended run with his reruns on the Decades channel.
The unicyclist, Topo Gigio, the guy spinning the plates, I loved them all.  but mainly I loved the live animal acts.
Berosini's Orangutans, the dog acts, Bertha The Elephant, who would balance precariously on a little ball, the performing seals, the Marquis Chimps, I couldn't get enough of them.
It never occurred to me that these animals were perhaps all being uniformly abused in order to get them to do their tricks.  It might have affected my enjoyment of them.
The first story I'm going to tell you, I recently overheard Andrea Martin reading from her book of memoirs, tell it to Nathan Lane on a YouTube interview. 
I'm only telling you this because I have known this story over twenty years, and have always intended to tell it here.  It has been sitting in my files ever since I started this here blog.  I'm sure I knew about it first, so I claim prior ownership to it.
Here goes:  The Marquis Chimps were booked to appear on the Ed Sullivan Show in the 50s.
Sullivan was  very controlling about the content of his show.
Once, in masterstroke of showmanship, he decided to cut three minutes out of their eight minute routine.
If that's what the boss wants, that's what he gets.
How would you like to be the stage manager who has to tell Mr. Marquis that he has to tell his
Chimps that they have to cut three minutes?
Stage Manager:  Mr. Marquis, you have to tell your apes that they have to cut three minutes.
Mr. Marquis:  Are you crazy?  I can't just have them cut three minutes!
Stage Manager:  Why not?
Mr. Marquis:  Why not??!!  Why not??!!  These are apes!!  They're not human beings!!  Their entire
act is based on repetition.!!  They only know how to their act one way!  They can't just cut three minutes!
Stage Manager:  Well, what do I tell Mr. Sullivan??
Mr. Marquis:  Tell him that, while I sympathize, we're still dealing with apes, here!
Stage Manager:  Oh, he's not going to like this.
Mr. Marquis:  No, I don't suppose he would....Wait, I may have an idea!
Stage Manager:  Anything!  I'm desperate!
Mr. Marquis:  Well, this is pretty desperate.  Can we have the curtain closed three minutes before
the Chimps appear?
Stage Manager:  Sure.  They're going on right after Tony Bennett.
Mr. Marquis:  Gee...I always liked him...can I have The Chimps start their act behind the curtain
three minutes before you raise the curtain on them?
Stage Manager;  Sure.
Mr. Marquis:  Okay.  Just make sure that Tony finishes his song exactly on time.
That's something a human being can handle, right?
Stage Manager:  Consider it done.
And that's what they did.  When they opened the curtain on the chimps,  they were somewhat dazzled by the sudden glow of extra light,  but being the troupers that they were they just continued their act from that point, it  and it went off without a hitch.
Next time another "animal acts" story totally from my own memory.

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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.,
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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