I recently thought about the deathtrap that my sister and I shared to sleep in growing up, and I had this image in my head that I was the one who had the twin bed that was adjacent to the left wall.
There was a window separating us, and my sister had the twin bed that was adjacent to the right wall.
Then, a few moments later, I had this crystal clear image of my sister sleeping in the twin bed that was adjacent to the left wall.
I remembered this distinctly because I had this little, cheap, Sony transistor radio.
The kind that nobody has anymore.
It needed to be fixed.
And I knew that she would be out shopping with my mother that day, and I asked her to take the radio to the repair place (the kind that doesn't exist anymore. Hell, they're event phasing out Radio Shack.) and find out how much it would cost to get it fixed.
She agreed. I then was out all day, and by the time I got home, it was past her bedtime, and she was asleep.
Without any trepidation, I called out to her.
(Her name is Les.)
Me: Did you go to the radio place?
Les: Huh? Yeah.
Me: Did you ask them how much it would cost to get my radio fixed?
Me: So how much?
Les: ....hundred dollars.
This did not compute.
I bought the Sony new for forty dollars.
Me: How much?
Les: ...hundred dollars.
Clearly, she was in a state of delirium, and had remained in it throughout our conversation.
And clearly, in my mind, this all took place with my sister lying comatose in the twin bed adjacent to the left wall.
This, too, did not compute.
But I also sort of remembered that there were times that I slept in the other bed.
The one adjacent to the right wall.
We had at some point made the switch.
What I could not remember was when or why.
So what do you do if you're me?
If you're me, you go right to the source, and ask the horse.
(I already checked with Les, and she does not at all mind being referred to as a horse. Anyway, in racing parlance, she is a thoroughbred.)
So I called Les on the phone, and relayed all of this information.
Her recollections about it were as vague as mine.
She did remember "...hundred dollars", not from living through it, but from my having told her about it at the time.
The rest was a blur, except she sort of did remember sleeping in both beds at one time or another.
I did whatever I could to trigger some memory.
I said "Remember, the bed adjacent to the left wall had a hole in the mattress? Covered only by a thin pad? And the spring underneath was exposed? And there was sort of a nail sticking up through it?" And it could stick you?"
She remembered the nail.
It had stuck her. Repeatedly.
There were almost simultaneous shouts of "Eureka!"
Everything was falling into place.
And it did not look good for me.
The immediate correct conclusion was drawn by both of us.
I had effected the "bait and switch".
So I wouldn't have to deal with that friggin' nail anymore.
And I palmed that bed off on my sister.
I don't know what I used for bait, but whatever it was, it worked.
All these years later, my sister does not hold a grudge.
It was so similar to all the other things I did to her.
Why single that out?
I don't know why I didn't just confront my mother about getting me a new mattress.
Probably because she was always pleading poverty.
And besides, she needed whatever loose change there was for new paint-by-numbers kits, more gold spray-paint, and more plaster and fake white bricks.
Anyway, the mystery was solved.
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at email@example.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link: www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
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- mark rothman
- Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."