" The Squeaky Wheel...."

Al Molinaro died yesterday.
He was a lovely man.
I did two series with him.
He could always be counted on to get his laughs.
Mainly on the strength of his extremely funny face.
It used to drive Tony Randall crazy how effortlessly Al could get laughs.
Penny Marshall used to refer to Al as a shtick-tician.
He worked shtick like nobody's business.
Al had virtually no formal training.
He made an entire living with his face.
At one of the wrap parties, Garry Marshall said "there are graduates of Yale Drama School working as boxboys at
Ralph's supermarket, and Al Molinaro gets work."
I waited until his passing before telling this next story:
About five years into the run of "Happy Days" Al grew discontented that there were no stories being developed about his character.
He was an adult on a show about teenagers. As if anyone cared about stories about Al's character.
This was a man who should have been counting his blessings that he had a steady gig on an enormously successful show.
But it apparently wasn't enough.
Undaunted, he publicly pitched a story about the unrequited love of his life, Rosa Coletti.
He was totally indulged (not by me, I was merely an observer at that point.) and a script was shortly developed where Rosa Coletti appeared on stage, and in his life, but just once.
I didn't believe a word of it.
But it didn't hurt the show.
Nothing could. It was done purely just to mollify him.
But it was a tribute to the concept of the squeaky wheel getting the grease.
If Al hadn't brought it up so brazenly, we never would have seen Rosa Coletti.
As if this made any difference to Al Molinaro's career.
I guess you do anything at your disposal to call more attention to yourself, but all that Al will be remembered for is how funny he was.
Maybe I'm telling tales out of school, but Al was not above engaging in that particular underbelly of show business.
I never would have had the nerve to attempt something like that.
This was the only chink I ever saw in his other-wise spotless armor.

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My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Report Card-----"Straight Outta Compton"

This is a movie that makes me feel really old and out of it.
It's essentially a bio-pic about Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and assorted other rappers.
I didn't know whether they portrayed themselves, or whether they were actors.
At the end, I learned that they were actors.
They lost me right off the top for a while.
The early scenes began in 1986, and the characters were wearing baseball caps that had the Major League Baseball logo on them,
which was not available like that to the general public in 1986.
So authenticity was compromised right off the bat.
This was not a movie designed for me.

On to the scoring:

Is it interesting?

Here and there
B.

Compelling even?

On rare occasions. They did not lead boring lives.
B-.

Is it controversial?

Their lives were controversial
A.

Is it a story worth telling?

Yes. But not to me.
B.

Is it good storytelling?

It's a 2 and a half hour movie, and there is about a half hour worth of interesting.
C.

Is it well written?

It sounds authentic, but I really have no way of knowing.
B.

Is it well cast? Well played?

It has that problem that too many movies have. Many of the actors look too much like each other.
And it's not just a race thing.
Paul Giamatti was outstanding, and not just because he's white.
There were a couple of other white actors who made no impression.
B.

Well shot?

Too much was shot in the dark. That didn't help me differentiate.
C.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

Not to me.
C-.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale?

It's established immediately in the title.
A+.

Is it too long? Too short?

Way too long, unless you're a fan of rap. And maybe even then.
C-.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Yes, and yes.
A.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

I knew nothing going in, so everything was a surprise.
A.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Not really.
C.

Is it funny?

Not ever.
F.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

Not mine.
F.

Is it impressive?

Yes.
B+

Overall grade: B-.

You're attitude about rap will determine your enjoyment.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Muuch-kiss!

Just heard that Marty Ingels died of a massive stroke.
I don't like to hear about anyone dying of a massive stroke.
People aware of him know about how nuts he was.
You can go anywhere to read about that.
So what can I add to the conversation?
Well, in the early 60's, he appeared on Les Crane's local New York phone-in TV show.
He told a story about his mother when he was a kid, growing up with his brother in Brooklyn in a six-floor apartment building.
Apparently, she was one of the worst cooks who ever lived.
All of this resonated with me.
Except for the fact that I had a sister rather than a brother, and lived in the Bronx, my story is identical.
He described how, every Thursday Night, his mother served up fried liver, a dish that requires special care to prepare well.
It apparently did not live up to that standard.
Marty and his brother ended up chewing the liver but not being able to swallow it and invariably, when their mother wasn't looking, tossed the chewed liver out the window, into the backyard down below, near the clotheslines.
Eventually they got caught as mounds of chewed liver began accumulating down below.
And housewives had to step around it while trying to hang their laundry.
My mother made very good fried liver.
There were other items that we needed to throw out of the window.
The other main plaint that Marty described was how his mother insisted that she make them warm milk before they went to sleep.
They had no problem with drinking warm milk, save for the fact that a skin quickly developed on the top of the glass, which Marty and his brother called "muuch-kiss".
They would be revolted at the sight of "muuch-kiss" and always complained bitterly about it.
As they spotted it they would cry out "Muuch-kiss!"
I wasn't exposed to that kind of muuch-kiss, rather a much more positive form of it.
My-T-Fine chocolate pudding was a staple in our house.
It too, when made properly, developed a skin on top.
That's part of what made it great.
Once we heard Marty's "muuch-kiss" story, my sister and I, to this day, refer to the skin on My-T-Fine chocolate pudding as
"muuch-kiss". My wife has picked up the gauntlet, and uses the term as well. My-T-Fine is an East Coast product. I didn't even know if it still existed.
I did a search, and it does exist, and can be ordered on Amazon.
If you've never tried it, I suggest you get some.
It's the best.
Jello pudding is just one more thing that Bill Cosby misguided the public about.

I had the opportunity to meet Marty Ingels in Laughlin Nevada.
He was accompanying his wife, Shirley Jones, who was appearing at Laughlin's Harrah's hotel.
He was leaving an elevator, and I immediately cried out "Muuch-kiss!"
He certainly remembered, and was pleased that somebody else did.
We were able to chat, and he immediately addressed the major elephant in the room: What on earth did Shirley see in him?
He said "Shirley has always been attracted to funny people. If Jan Murray had asked her to marry him, she would have said 'yes'.
Reading Shirley's book subsequently, it revealed a fairly kinky side to her, which could have also accounted for her marrying
Marty Ingels.
It's a shame that his lack of sanity led to a rather aborted comedy career, because he was a genuinely funny man.
And in my house, he certainly added to the language.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Telling You The Truth.

I haven't received any more DVDs from the West Coast yet to do any more Report Cards, so in the interim I'm going to attempt to regale you with a very timely story.
It's one in which I am at the same time tangentially and intrinsically involved.
I get this cable channel here called Buzzr.
It's all old game shows.
Some really old.
Like black-and-white old.
The original "What's My Line?" "To Tell The Truth" and I've Got A Secret".
I loved and love those shows and Tivo them regularly.
In the 90's, the Game Show Network used to do the same thing.
And I saw all of them.
But so much time has passed that I don't remember any individual episode.

Allow me to digress here.
I have a friend, Barry, who has a friend who had claimed that in 1961, he and his parents all appeared on "To Tell The Truth" in one episode, each as liars in each of the three games. The friend was about ten years old at the time.
This seemed to be the kind of stunt casting that "To Tell The Truth" never indulged in.
He was met with at least mock skepticism by his friends.
This was roughly akin to my claiming that I played Rusty B Company on "Rin-Tin-Tin"
But I knew I was lying, and nobody believed me either.
However, he was obsessive about it to the point that his friends started to believe him.
He had conducted a fruitless 35 year old search to track down this episode, all the more difficult because it aired live.
Barry had told me about this quest some time in the 80s and it stuck with me.
Then, in the 90s, when the Game Show Network was airing "To Tell The Truth", I saw what I thought was this episode.
I called Barry and asked "Was this family named "Elder"?
It was.
I mailed Barry the VHS tape. That was what we were dealing with then.
On young Elder's birthday, they threw him a party at his home.
No mention of the tape.
Barry without warning, popped this tape into young Elder's VCR.
Young Elder was now in his early fifties.
The show started, Young Elder saw his father, long since passed away, on the show.
He immediately broke down into uncontrollable tears.
In the second game, he saw his mother, also long since gone.
He was mush.
Then he saw himself in the third game.
After regaining his composure, he asked how the tape was found.
My name was then bandied about.
Young Elder was then the City Manager of Worthington, Ohio. A suburb of Columbus.
I was offered the key to the city, which was worthless because it didn't open anything.
But if I ever wanted a slave, he volunteered to be mine.
I didn't really want a slave, but I appreciated the gesture.
I apparently not only made his day, I made his life.
The reason this is timely now is that just yesterday, Buzzr reran that episode of "To Tell The Truth", and reminded me of how much I contributed to somebody's happiness.
I don't get to do that too often.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Report Card---"Grandma"

"Grandma" is essentially a chick-flick, directed and written by a man.
This is rather unusual.
That being said, it is a pretty entertaining, interesting film.
It stars Lily Tomlin, who actually plays a lesbian in this one.
It's mostly about her grand-daughter showing up at her doorstep, pregnant, needing an abortion.
Them dealing with it is the thrust of the film.

On to the scoring:

Is it interesting?

Pretty much.
A.

Compelling even?

Not really.
C-.

Is it controversial?

Abortion is always controversial.
A.

Is it a story worth telling?

Yes.
A.

Is it good storytelling?

Fairly good. There is an issue about raising enough money for the abortion. As if there aren't any free clinics.
B-.

Is it well written?

The dialogue is excellent.
A+.

Is it well cast? Well played?

Very.
A.

Well shot?

Nothing special.
C.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

Not in the least.
C-.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale?

They never do. It looks like L.A. what with palm trees and smog, but it's never alluded to.
It seems like a story that belongs in the Bay Area, but it doesn't have that feel.
D.

Is it too long? Too short?

It moves briskly.
A+.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Yes, and yes.
A.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

Not really an issue.
No grade.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Not really.
C.

Is it funny?

Occasionally. When it wants to be.
A.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

No. Very little is.
F.

Is it impressive?

Yes. Rather.
B+

Overall grade: B.

When it's on cable, it's worth your time.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

Fall Is Officially Here.

I just received the first DVD screener from the West Coast, which, as many of you veterans of this blog realize, is the beginning of "Report Card" season. It will extend until just about the time the major awards are given out.
For the uninitiated, "Report Cards" are my version of movie reviews, written from the point of view of someone who hates to read movie reviews.
This is because most movie reviews reveal way more about a movie than I want to know.
Like for instance, the plot.
I will never reveal the plot of a movie in my Report Cards.
I will tell you as little as I feel you need to know about a movie and still give you enough of a sense of whether or not you should want to see it.
The screeners that I receive are sent to me because I am eligible to vote for various awards.
And I watch the movie. On my 60 inch flat screen.
They are promotional tools for the studios.
These are the films that they consider to be award-worthy.
I see just about every movie that opens this fall and winter that fall into that category.
It's been my experience that about half of them are.
With each Report Card, I pose a series of questions that I ask myself, and attempt to answer them, hopefully adding some humor along the way.
It's the same questions for every movie, generally from the point of view of a screenwriter.
There are many examples of Report Cards from last year's films on the blog for you to check out the nature of the questions.
Each category is graded.
From A+ descending all the way to F.
And finally there is an overall rating.
If you read my Report Cards and then see the movie, and agree with me often enough, then I am providing a valuable service for you.
If you predominantly disagree with me, it's probably a waste of your time.
But you'll probably be entertained anyway.
I am adding a couple of new questions this year:
Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it? (Hint: the more the better.)
and
How long does it take to establish the film's locale? (Hint: the sooner the better. You don't want to sit there and keep asking yourself "Where are they?")
So the next post will be this season's first Report Card.
Welcome back to movie land!

----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****