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Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Report Card---"The Revenant'

"The Revenant" is a large movie.
Everything about it is large.
It has a huge canvas.
It takes place in the freezing cold wilderness near Yellowstone Park, somewhere in the distant past.
We're never quite told when.
It involves Leonardo DiCaprio as a fur trapper.
Under the circumstances, this is not a safe job.
Bears are attacking him, Indians are attacking him, his own men are attacking him.
The whole movie cries out "Stay in your house. Get a desk job."
He isn't having any.

On to the scoring:

Is it interesting?

On occasion. Not nearly enough.
C.

Compelling even?

Almost never.
D.

Is it controversial?

Some interesting moral issues are brought up.
A.

Is it a story worth telling?

I suppose.
B.

Is it good storytelling?

There is about a half hour's worth of storytelling stretched over two-and-a-half hours. The last half hour picks up a little, but it's still by the numbers.
F.

Is it well written?

There doesn't seem to be a lot of writing.
C.

Is it well cast? Well played?

Thomas Hardy, whom I will write about when I talk about "Legend" was terrific. DiCaprio, except for maybe five lines, grunted his way through the movie.
B-.

Well shot?

Fine.
A.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

Not that I could see.
C-.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale and time period?

It took way too long.
D.

Is it too long? Too short?

It is way, way, way too long.
F.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Yes but I really think these characters get what they deserve from making poor career choices.
C+.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

I knew exactly where it was going after about forty minutes into it.
D.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Only about how it cost me about three hours of my life.
F.

Is it funny?

Not to me.
F.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

Oh, God, no!
F.

Is it impressive?

Only visually.
B+.

Overall grade: C-.

You shouldn't get a nomination for grunting, or for being this movie.

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My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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6 comments:

  1. I was troubled by the fact that the bear, an animal of color, was not nominated for the best animal Oscar. It was reminiscent of when the moose came in second in a costume party to the Levine's, dressed as a moose, in Woody Allen's comedy bit. Accordingly, I will not be attending the Oscars this year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, George, that's a bitch. And it's compounded by the fact that the Award will be going to the Polar Bear in "Infinitely Polar Bear".
    This is more shameful because "Infinitely Polar Bear" doesn't even have one. I'll be reporting on that movie soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mark,

    Totally agree with your review. In summary, the movie sucked!

    Michael


    ReplyDelete
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About Me

Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at macchus999@aol.com. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."