The Kee-Takes Pecking Order.

Now that this Oscar business is finally over, I can finally get around to discussing something really important.
Pancakes.
Pancakes is one of the great joys of my life. When they are done right.
Too often, they are not.
As I've mentioned many times in the past, my sister had, and has, a very limited menu of things she would put in her mouth.
And I couldn't remember whether or not pancakes was one of them.
After thoroughly humiliating me, she reminded me that even before she was able to form words correctly, she loved pancakes so much that she had a way of describing them.
She referred ecstatically to them as "Kee-Takes".
So in her honor, from now on in this article, I will be referring to them as "Kee-Takes".

We will be going from worst to first as we proceed up the Kee-Takes pecking order.

Starting at the bottom was my hospital experience.
Everything was institutional food.
Including the Kee-Takes.
I don't know how they managed it, but they tasted like dust.
If you put syrup on them, they tasted like dust with syrup on them.
Of course, it was not real maple syrup, but some sort of ersatz made out of corn syrup..
And there were no better options.
I was their prisoner.
And by the way, the most popular syrups, Log Cabin, Aunt Jemima's and Vermont Maid, are all ersatz.
The easiest way to find the real thing is at Costco.
Their Kirkland brand is the real deal.
Whenever we go out for Kee-Takes, I bring a little vial of it along with me.

Taking it one level up, where you were actually paying for them, was some sort of exotic restaurant, usually Greek, or Lebanese that for some
reason that I still can't figure, was also open for breakfast.
The Kee-Takes there were invariably splotchy and had the vague taste of whatever hadn't been cleaned off of last night's grill.
I guess I deserved what I got.

Then, there's IHOP.
Never had a pleasant experience there.
It's never about the Kee-Takes themselves but rather the gooey, sugary things you can put on top of them.
All that does is cover up the blandness of the basic Kee-Take underneath.
It's not for the Kee-Take connoisseur.

Then, there's Denny's.
At Denny's on a good day, the Kee-Takes are downright passable.
Nothing to write home about, but nothing to sneer at either.

Finally, moving up to Kee-Takes of quality, I highly recommend Eggo Frozen Kee-Takes.
I'm as surprised as you are.
My four year old niece recently turned me on to them, and my life hasn't been the same since.
They're pretty cheap, you just pop'em in the toaster and voila, first rate Kee-Takes.
Who knew?
And don't stint and get the store brand. Way too much sugar.
Spend the extra dollar and get the Eggo's.

Then in the stratosphere, there's DuPars in Los Angeles.
There may be other places like DuPars around the country that take as much justified pride in their Kee-Takes, but I'm not aware of them.
If you know of any, you can provide a public service to our other readers by mentioning them.
In the meantime, you can't go wrong with the Eggo's.


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My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@comcast.net

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

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