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Monday, December 31, 2018

Report Card---"Bird Box"

"Bird Box" is a futuristic post-apocalyptic nightmare.
Sandra Bullock and her two kids, who at the ages of around 5 and 6, she never bothered to give names to.  I don't know why.
She must sail with them down the rapids of a river, blindfolded.
She doesn't know why.
Neither do we.
John Malkovich is also in it.  I don't know why.
Are you starting to get the sense of things?
Me neither.

On to the scoring:

Is it interesting?

Occasionally.
C-.

Compelling even?

Never.
F.

Is it good storytelling?

No.  Awful.
D.

Is it well written?

Not at all
D.

Is it well cast? Well played?

No,  And I love Malkovich and Sarah Paulsen.
C-.

Well shot?

I suppose.
B.

Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?

No.
C.

How long does it take to establish the film's locale and time period?

The recent future.
B.

Is it too long? Too short?

Way too long.
D.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?.

No, and no.
D.

Is it predictable?

You can't imagine how they're going to come up with a satisfactory ending.
Nor do they.
D-.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Only about the  time wasted.
F.

Is it funny?

No.
D.
.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

No.
F.

Is it impressive?

No.
F.

Overall grade: F.

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My books, "Show Runner" and "Show Runner 2" can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store,
along with newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.,
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, there's my reading of my screenplay of my unmade "Laverne and Shirley" movie on "YouTube".

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About Me

Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at macchus999@aol.com. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."