Report Card----The 2013 Tony Awards.

I usually don't do Report Cards on TV shows that have come and gone.
Jackie Gleason once said that functioning as a TV critic is like reporting an accident to an eyewitness.
But with the age of Tivo, there may still be many of you who have recorded it, but not watched it.
So my mission here is to save those people three hours of viewing time.
In terms of entertainment, this was the weakest Tony Awards show I have ever seen.
The opening number was promising.
It even included Mike Tyson.
Don't ask me why.
But that only served to hand Neil Patrick Harris a slew of lame Mike Tyson jokes during the course of the evening.


On to the scoring:

Is it interesting?

Only intermittently.
C-.

Compelling even?

In the way that seeing a train wreck is compelling.
D.

Is it controversial?

Tom Hanks losing, and the director of "Pippin" winning, and thanking everyone under the sun except Bob Fosse, who is responsible for the show still existing, was controversial. It took the producer, when they won for Best Revival at the very end of the evening, to invoke Fosse's name.
B.


Were the shows depicted seem worth your time?

Almost not at all. The key musicals, "Matilda" and "Kinky Boots", seemed like warmed over rock versions of hybrids of "Annie", "Newsies" and "Oliver" When they showed segments from the "old-fashioned" musicals, like "Annie" itself, "A Christmas Story", and "Cinderella", they made me actually want to see them. And I already saw "A Christmas Story" and didn't much care for it.
C-.

Is it well cast? Well played?, Well staged?

For the most part, although I am totally sick of Neil Patrick Harris. Seeing Jane Lynch as Miss Hannigan in "Annie" was a definite plus.
B+.

Is it too long? Too short?

With Tivo, nothing need be too long. But it was anyway.
C.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

I am still shocked and offended when they start playing "Give My Regards To Broadway" during someone's acceptance speech. Cyndi Lauper and Cicely Tyson (How did Neil Patrick Harris miss the joke about how Cicely was Mike's mother?) gave the speeches of their lives, only to be intruded upon like that. So they wouldn't go overtime. Which the show did anyway.
F.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Yes. About how atrocious it was.
F.

Is it funny?

It tries. Oh how it tries. And it fails. Oh how it fails.
F.

Was it worth the no money it cost to see it?

We should have charged them.

Is it impressive ?

It was depressive.
F.

Overall grade: D-.

The only saving grace is that it spared me from seeing some of these shows next time I'm in New York

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