There is a local restaurant that my wife and I frequent here in Michigan.
It is a bit swanky, and we frequent it when we are in a bit of a swanky mood.
The food there is consistently wonderful.
Maybe better than any other restaurant that we frequent.
Great Caesar Salad.
My wife has always looked forward to going there.
I have always dreaded it.
In spite of the great bread, great Caesar Salad, great entrees, great desserts, and great service.
"What more can you ask for?" you ask?
Only one thing.
That they get rid of the omnipresent piano player who is ALWAYS there.
I have always made it a point to the headwaiter that we be seated as far away from the piano player as is humanly possible.
He usually complies, and this helps somewhat.
But sometimes he can't, and we are subjected to the worst piano playing this side of Ernest Borgnine's Fatso Jutson in "From Here To Eternity".
Actually, it's on the other side.
Fatso only played polkas.
The restaurant pianist played "dinner music".
Music that required a much more delicate touch.
Do any of you recall the album "An Evening With Jonathan and Darlene Edwards"?
It was the alter egos of Jo Stafford and her husband Paul Weston.
They sang and played "Cocktail Music".
She deliberately sang off-key, and he accompanied her off the beat, with fumbly fingers.
It has always been as if this restaurant pianist took private lessons from Jonathan Edwards.
Except that the restaurant pianist wasn't accompanying anyone but himself.
He played popular tunes that he virtually dared anyone to guess what they were.
You couldn't possibly guess what they were in the first eight bars.
Or the first sixteen bars.
Having a much better musical ear than my wife, it usually fell to me to figure out what, in fact, the hell he was playing.
And there was a moment of triumph when I eventually DID figure out what he was playing.
So last time we were there, I turned it into a game.
A game of "Name That Tune".
I actually let it become part of the fun of the dining experience.
Of course, like most other restaurant pianists, he had CDs of his selections available for purchase.
I seriously considered buying one.
That way, we would have the "Name That Tune" home game to play whenever we wanted to.
I stopped myself.
I realized that I would never, ever play the "Name That Tune" home game.
I'd never want to.
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at email@example.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
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- mark rothman
- Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."