Billy Boy "Priceline" Shatner.

Beginning today, I've been appearing as a celebrity guest t the Novi Comic-Con, here in Detroit.
As a result,I've made some local TV and radio appearances promoting the event and my appearance at it.
As a result, I've been dealing with various publicity people connected with the event.
They haven't had time to deal with me very much, because apparently William Shatner, who is by far and away the biggest draw and attraction at this event this year, has been giving them fits.
Making demands that have had them all running around like chickens without heads.
This was happening at least the day before the event.
I didn't know if this had straightened itself out until today.
That's when I found out that it hadn't straightened itself out at all.
Huge lines of people were waiting patiently to get Shatner's autograph.
At 75 smackers a pop.
Or to even get a glimpse of him.
Which wasn't possible.
The event started at 12:30 pm and ended at 7pm.
And Shatner didn't arrive until 6:30pm.
Maybe he booked a bad flight on Priceline?
He gave strict instructions that he would only sign autographs.
Not photos.
And he wouldn't pose for a photo with anyone.
For ANY price.
And that no one could look at him without the privilege of paying for it.
There was a woman in a wheelchair who wasn't allowed to rise to see him without paying for it.
I don't know.
Yeah.
You're 84 years old.
I guess that can make you a little cranky.
I guess that can make you want to take a crap on everyone in sight.
So why take the gig?
It can't be for the money.
Even at 75 smackers a pop.
Why not just stay in the house?
If I learn any more about this, I'll report about it next week.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

Nancy Malone: A Fond Farewell.

Nancy Malone died this past week at the age of 79.
This is significant to me for a couple of reasons.
First, she was the last surviving regular cast member of one of my favorite TV series, "Naked City".
She played Paul Burke's girlfriend.
I loved and love "Naked City".
Much more so now than when it first aired over fifty years ago.
And I watch it regularly on MeTV.
As should you.
The writing and storytelling were first-rate.
It was mostly shot in the streets of Manhattan, so it is evocative of places I knew when I was growing up there, that no longer exist
The exterior shots are filled with traffic that is filled with cars with tailfins.
The kind you only see at old car rallies these days.
Every year that "Naked City' was on, the lead detectives had a new Pontiac to drive.
I guess a deal had been struck.
The executive producer was Herbert B. Leonard.
I once did a pilot with Rita Moreno, who, in a moment of rapture, waxed ecstatically about Herbert B. Leonard.
She had appeared in the film "Popi" that Leonard produced, where there were a lot of child actors, no one of whom could act, and the set and the shoot were totally chaotic.
Her words were approximately "How that man pulled together a movie that actually made sense is one of God's miracles".
Leonard didn't have to work that hard on "Naked City".
He had wonderful writers, great directors, and above all, a uniformly wonderful cast.
The kind of romantic relationship that Paul Burke and Nancy Malone had was one that, as a young teenager, I aspired to have when I grew up.
They shared a great sense of humor with each other that I had never witnessed before.
The show had the great Horace McMahon as the Police Lieutenant.
He was one of those actors that could be dismissed as hammy.
He over-pronounced all of his dialogue to the point where it all sounded written.
But boy, was he interesting to watch.
You couldn't take your eyes off him.

The other reason Nancy Malone was significant to me was that I was in love with her.
This sixteen year-old had a major crush on her that wouldn't quit.
When James Whitmore died, I wrote a post about his show, "The Law and Mr. Jones", in which I described my major crush on actress Janet DeGore, who played Whitmore's secretary.
I used the Yiddish word "facchliuppit" (translation: "Consumed to the point of embarrassment") to describe my feelings about Ms. DeGore.
The difference is that Janet DeGore was a classically beautiful Patrician Gentile.
And I was only twelve at the time.
Nancy Malone was somewhat flawed.
A little plump, a somewhat crooked nose....but her intelligence and sense of humor and basic prettiness afforded me no less fachliuppitude.
And my loins were much more easily stirred at sixteen.
Thus, it was rather disturbing to learn that she was, at least in later years, if not always, a Lesbian.
It was mentioned in several obituaries that she was the life partner of Linda Hope, adopted Lesbian daughter of Bob "I've got an adopted Lesbian daughter" Hope.
A friend of mine, whose father was a production manager on "Naked City" for most of it's run, had clued me in on this relationship quite a while go.
And he described Nancy as currently looking very butch.
Short hair, plaid shirts, jeans, fat, and frumpy-looking.
I just watched her three-and-a-half-hour interview at the Emmy TV Legends website.
You know.
The website where there is a four hour interview of me.
She had lovely hair, was well-dressed, with a scarf covering her neck, perhaps to hide whatever the ravages of time had done to it.
She looked very much like the Nancy Malone that I was fachliuppit with years before.
Only a little older.
She continually referred to Linda Hope as her friend Linda Hope.
They respected her privacy about it, as they respected my privacy about whatever I wanted to remain private.
She certainly did not look her age, which would have been 75 at the time.
But then I remembered how I looked when I showed up for MY interview, and what magic they had performed on me.
So I guess the jury is out on that score.
I'm embarrassed to say that with all the other TV work that she has done, I only know her from "Naked City".
I'm going to have to do a major "YouTube" scavenger hunt.

R.I.P., Nancy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

1960's Broadway Musical Underground Piracy.

When I was in college, I was already a Broadway Musical Theater geek.
What I didn't know, until I was exposed to it, was that there were geeks far geekier than moi.
They lived in my neighborhood in Flushing, Queens.
I suppose you could call them a Little Theater Group.
And I mean little in the littlest sense.
Before I met them, my acting career was restricted to college, and the occasional Summer Stock Dinner Theater tour.
None of these people in the group were untalented.
But their geekiness was unparalleled.
They regularly sat around a room and performed, a capella, with gusto, show tunes that were too embarrassing to know.
Like the title number from "I Had A Ball", which starred Buddy Hackett.
The leader of the group, an aggressive young woman, had seen me in one of the college musicals I had appeared in, and made an active attempt to recruit me into this group.
Several things had me on the fence about it.
The geekiness was not really one of them.
There was a sleaziness issue, coupled with a morality issue.
They had already performed a handful of musicals.
In basements and meeting rooms of various apartment buildings in our neighborhood.
Major musicals.
And there was money to be made..
They charged real, if not Broadway prices.
And the deal was that we'd all split the take.
But they wanted to get away with not paying royalties to those who created the shows.
So they created a little loophole for themselves.
They changed the titles of the shows in the flyers that were distributed, hung up in lobbies, and laundry rooms, and hand-delivered door-to-door.
This was something I was adamant about opting out of.
I met with only minor resistance.
The shows were titled things like, I kid you not, "The Car-a-sel Waltz", "Peddler On The Stoop",
and "Guys and Gals".
The shows were well-attended, and the audiences knew what they were getting.
I saw the first two.
They were actually very well performed.
This sort of thing also went on in Manhattan.
I went to a production of "Something Funny Happened On My Way To The Forum" in a hotel ballroom on 23rd street.
It was very good too.
Certainly a lot better than when Mickey Rooney did it.
But this whole form of enterprise smacked of cheating.
Creators were being robbed of their royalties.
It didn't sit well with me on that level.
The geeks were then about to put "Guys and Gals" into production.
They wanted me in it.
And I was at the crossroads.
Part of me was very wary.
Another part of me said "Gee, wouldn't it be nice to play Sky Masterson or Nathan Detroit".
That's the part that won out.
Then I learned that the part they wanted me for was Arvide Abernathy, the old man who was the head of the Salvation Army, who sings "More I Cannot Wish You" to Sarah Brown.
"More I Cannot Wish You may be the best song in "Guys and Dolls", oh, forgive me, "Guys and Gals".
So I was at least a little bit tempted.
But before I committed one way or another, they told me that "More I Cannot Wish You" was going to be cut.
So I passed.
Not on moral grounds.
But because of creative differences.
Now, here it is, fifty year later.
I wonder if the Underground still exists.......    

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

*****

A Blight On The Commercial Landscape.

With the advent and my embracing of Tivo, I almost never have to sit through commercials the way I used to.
Almost.
When I watch live streaming baseball games on my MLB.com baseball package, there's no Tivoing through the commercials.
You just have to grin and bear it.
Well, you don't have to grin.
And lately, I'm not grinning.
I'm just bearing.
These are not ads that the local stations running the games are showing.
These are ads that MLB.com is providing separately.
And collecting fees from the advertisers on.
Showing them to viewers who are already paying for the service.
They've got us all coming and going.
And they're always the same commercials, being shown between each inning.
Yes, you can keep turning the sound off between innings, and I do that a lot.
But enough of them seep through that it causes a lot of aggravation.
Particularly when this one particularly offensive and pointless one is shown:

Two upscale techie nerds are working in a concert arena, setting up the equipment.
First nerd:  How we lookin' here, Charlie?
Charlie: All sectors lookin' great.
First nerd: Excellent.

A long-haired hippie type, along with his long-haired hippie type girlfriend, approaches them.
Long-haired hippie type:  Hey.  How you guys doin'?
First nerd:  Oh.  Well, we're double checking the distributive antenna system so when all you fans post to insta-gram, there'll be more antenna to handle it.
Long-haired hippie type:  So, you guys hirin'? 
(Notice that nobody uses the letter "g" at the end of words.)
First nerd:  Do you know how to optimize a nine beam multi-beam antenna system?
Long-haired hippie type:  (nonchalantly) Is that a deal-breaker?
First nerd: Pretty much.
The long-haired hippie type nods, shrugs it off, and ambles away with his long-haired hippie type girlfriend.
First nerd: (Calling after them, derisively)  Enjoy the show!

Announcer voice-over:  AT&T is building you a better network. 

Now, what do I find so offensive about this commercial?
Well, first, it totally mocks the unemployed.
As if they are dim-witted.
As if that is how seriously they take the task of looking for work.
It mocks people with long hair.
Like that isn't old news.
God forbid it should have been people more neatly turned out, more neatly trimmed.
I hear that they are also looking for work.
But I guess that would take the "humor" out of it.
It implies that those unemployed are squandering their welfare checks on expensive concert tickets.
There is also possibly an element of reverse-racism at play here.
I can imagine the pitch meeting at the ad agency:
"...and a young black guy in an afro, and his girlfriend approach..."
"Black guy????!!! Are you out of your mind?  The blacks would be all over us!"
"All right.   A white, long-haired hippie type and his white long-haired girlfriend approach..."
"Now, you're talkin'!

Now, the ultimate question:  How does this help sell AT&T?
It's just about antennas, which means it's just about cable service, which very few people have a choice about anyway.
Does anybody really think that the competition has dumb techies?

This is the price that I pay for loving baseball.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

For Want Of A Nail....(2)

I recently thought about the deathtrap that my sister and I shared to sleep in growing up, and I had this image in my head that I was the one who had the twin bed that was adjacent to the left wall.
There was a window separating us, and my sister had the twin bed that was adjacent to the right wall.
Then, a few moments later, I had this crystal clear image of my sister sleeping in the twin bed that was adjacent to the left wall.
I remembered this distinctly because I had this little, cheap, Sony transistor radio.
The kind that nobody has anymore.
It needed to be fixed.
And I knew that she would be out shopping with my mother that day, and I asked her to take the radio to the repair place (the kind that doesn't exist anymore. Hell, they're event phasing out Radio Shack.) and find out how much it would cost to get it fixed.
She agreed. I then was out all day, and by the time I got home, it was past her bedtime, and she was asleep.
Without any trepidation, I called out to her.
"Hey Les!!"
(Her name is Les.)
Les: Huh?
Me: Did you go to the radio place?
Les:  Huh?  Yeah.
Me:  Did you ask them how much it would cost to get my radio fixed?
Les; Yeah.
Me:  So how much?
Les: ....hundred dollars.

This did not compute.
I bought the Sony new for forty dollars.

Me:  How much?
Les: ...hundred dollars.

Clearly, she was in a state of delirium, and had remained in it throughout our conversation.
And clearly, in my mind, this all took place with my sister lying comatose in the twin bed adjacent to the left wall.
My bed.
This, too, did not compute.
But I also sort of remembered that there were times that I slept in the other bed.
The one adjacent to the right wall.
We had at some point made the switch.
What I could not remember was when or why.
So what do you do if you're me?
If you're me, you go right to the source, and ask the horse.
(I already checked with Les, and she does not at all mind being referred to as a horse.  Anyway, in racing parlance, she is a thoroughbred.)
So I called Les on the phone, and relayed all of this information.
Her recollections about it were as vague as mine.
She did remember "...hundred dollars", not from living through it, but from my having told her about it at the time.
The rest was a blur, except she sort of did remember sleeping in both beds at one time or another.
I did whatever I could to trigger some memory.
I said "Remember, the bed adjacent to the left wall had a hole in the mattress?  Covered only by a thin pad?  And the spring underneath was exposed?  And there was sort of a nail sticking up through it?" And it could stick you?"
She remembered the nail.
It had stuck her.  Repeatedly.
There were almost simultaneous shouts of "Eureka!"
Everything was falling into place.
And it did not look good for me.
The immediate correct conclusion was drawn by both of us.
I had effected the "bait and switch".
So I wouldn't have to deal with that friggin' nail anymore.
And I palmed that bed off on my sister.
I don't know what I used for bait, but whatever it was, it worked.
All these years later, my sister does not hold a grudge.
It was so similar to all the other things I did to her.
Why single that out?
I don't know why I didn't just confront my mother about getting me a new mattress.
Probably because she was always pleading poverty.
And besides, she needed whatever loose change there was for new paint-by-numbers kits, more gold spray-paint, and more plaster and fake white bricks.
Anyway, the mystery was solved.
Case closed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

For Want Of A Nail....(1)

There are certain cans of beans that should definitely not be opened.
Because you will inevitably find the worms that lurk within.
Just last time out, I described a single mother of two, the two being an eleven year old daughter and a nine year old son, who was considering leasing out my Malibu condo.
And without any qualms, she announced that the sleeping arrangements for the two siblings would be that they'd share a Queen-sized bed in one of the bedrooms.
Thankfully, this did not pan out, at least on my watch.
But it did get me to thinking, actually more obsessing, about my own childhood, and the sleeping arrangements my mother provided for my six -years-younger sister and myself.
These arrangements lasted from the time I was ten and she was four, until I was fifteen and she was nine.
We shared a bedroom.
Nothing as ugly as what my prospective tenant had in mind.
Two twin beds.
One against each wall of the room.
There were book-cases built precariously on the walls hanging over each bed.
Loaded with books.
The book-cases were built by my mother, who, to my knowledge, had never built anything else in her life.
She also never had any artistic bent until she bought a paint-by numbers kit.
And proceeded to paint by each number she was instructed to.
Her renderings were then immediately put on display on the various walls of our apartment.
"The Champs Elysee", "The Roman Colosseum", "The Taj Mahal".....
Not only unrecognizable, but virtually indistinguishable from each other.
She also got it into her head to plaster the dining area with extremely fake-looking plastic white bricks.
Which looked exactly like extremely fake-looking plastic white bricks.
The embarrassment self-contained by just about anyone who saw it was miraculous.
And, of course, who could forget the bowl of walnuts that she decided to spray with gold spray-paint?
Not the bowl.
The walnuts.
Any time I watched "The Sopranos" and saw the character Paulie Walnuts, to me, he was always "Paulie Gold-Spray-Painted Walnuts".
And she always got compliments from all the neighbors about all her artistic endeavors.
This only encouraged her.
Not content to rest on her laurels in her career as an artisan, she, totally out of the blue, decided to take up carpentry and build those damned book-cases.
I'm sure that there were things she could have learned on the subject from Jesus.
But to her credit, the book-cases stayed in place all those years, and books never fell on either of our respective heads.
But that doesn't mean that any time I sleep on a bed next to a wall, I don't have the imaginary and recurring fear that a book is going to fall on my head.
In pondering our childhood bedroom and sleeping arrangements, a question entered my head that I couldn't shake.
I'll discuss what that question was, and how I dealt with it, next time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

*****

Something I'd Prefer To Be None Of My Business.

Recently, I had my condo in Malibu, which overlooks the ocean, on the market for sale or lease.
Selling is much simpler.
Your only real concern is getting your price, and making sure that your prospective buyers pass their credit check.
After that, there's really no vested interest on your part about who these people are.
Leasing is a completely different matter.
You find yourself having to concern yourself with who these people are.
Would they be good tenants?
Would they wreck the place?
Would they skip out on you after only a few months of a year's lease?
(That last one actually happened to me.)
So all things being equal, you'd probably rather be in the world of selling rather than leasing.
The problem with selling is that you invariably are confronted with a bunch of insulting lowball offers.
Insulting to your wallet, anyway.
But with leasing you find yourself confronted with having to make moral judgments about people.
One such example occurred recently.
My condo has two bedrooms.
We were attempting to lease it furnished.
It would have been much easier that way.
We had a prospective tenant who wanted to lease it furnished.
A fairly young divorced single mother of two.
That's where it got a little complicated.
Her two kids were an eleven year old daughter, and a nine year old son.
Now, this second bedroom that we had contained one Queen-sized bed.
The master bedroom had one King-Sized bed.
And there was a long, comfortable couch in the living room.
The prospective tenant had no problem expressing the prospective sleeping arrangements.
She would have  the master bedroom with the King-Sized bed for herself, and the two kids, 9 and 11, of different genders, would share the Queen-Sized bed in the second bedroom.
No mention of anyone sleeping on the living room couch.
Certainly not the mother.
No mention of any potential psychological damage to the kids.
And it was as if she was dictating the terms.
It all seemed rather grotesque to me.
This created stability issues in my mind that wouldn't have concerned me if a sale was involved.
I got all of this from a phone call from our realtor, who felt the red flag going up.
The mother-of-two was in a position to fork over a significant deposit for the year's lease.
But still, I felt that I had been thrust into a position of dealing with, and making a moral judgment about something that was none of my beeswax.
Why do I have to be thrust into the role of King Solomon?
For a fairly large box of money.  That's why.
But I suppose that Judges are well-paid in general.
And I guess they wouldn't do it for free.
So it's just another thing I needn't bellyache about. But bellyache about it I eventually did.
And I bypassed the fairly large box of money.
If I had sold the place to her, she could have sold her kids into slavery for all I'd care.
Fortunately, we were bailed out by another set of prospective tenants.
A somewhat elderly German couple.
All they had was a dog.
And just as big a box of money.
And they signed a year's lease, and are currently living happily ever after.
At least for a year.\
And nobody really cares where the hell  the dog sleeps.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
Add to this, my new Kickstarter project, "Another Network".  Please check it out at Kickstarter.com

*****

It Was The Worst Of Mickey Rooney....(2)

Okay.
I'll close it out with this one, then we will be on to other things.
It was 1987.
The Pantages Theater in Hollywood.
I had read that Mickey Rooney would be starring in a production of "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To the Forum".
Sounded pretty good to me.
My favorite, probably the best musical-comedy ever written, starring one of the most gifted actor-comedians who ever lived.
I felt no need to share this with anyone, so I flew solo.
It was a Wednesday night.
Got a great seat.
Eighth row, orchestra.
The lights went down.
Over the public address system, we heard "Welcome to the Forum".
I'd seen many productions of this show.
I knew it very well.
I'd never seen it start that way.
I can't really tell you why, but it seemed a little off-putting.
I let it slide.
They played the Overture, got done, and out came Mickey.
He went into the opening number, which is traditionally broken up by his narration of what we are about to see.
Right off the bat, from his first piece of narration, I began to hear lines that I had never heard before.
This continued.
Throughout the show.
He seemed to give himself permission to give the show a complete rewrite.
And proceeded to improve none of it.
He turned it into dreck.
"Forum" is a very difficult show to pull off well.
It's all in the hands of the lead actor.
The character, Pseudolus, is a slave in ancient Rome.
What drives the entire action of the play is Pseudolus's desire to be free.
A very intricate plot evolves from that, and in any good production of it, you have to see the wheels turning in his head.  Constantly.
It's all about his thought process.
The more you see the wheels turning, the better the show is.
With Mickey, you NEVER saw the wheels turning.
Why?
Because he didn't give a crap about wheels..
He copped an attitude, that he shared with the audience, called "Do you believe this shit I'm trapped in?"
He had no respect for the material.
For the greatest, most intelligent musical-comedy ever written.
He had no respect for it.
Which is probably why he chose to rewrite most of it.
He added a ton of new jokes that weren't in the script.
And they were all, without exception, groaners.
I know this, because I kept hearing the audience, and me, groaning.
As did Mickey.
At one point, he went down to the edge of the stage, right at the footlights, and said "Hey folks, don't blame me.  I didn't write this stuff!"
At that moment, I wanted to stand up from my seat, and shout back at him "Yes you did!!"
I restrained myself.
To this day, I don't know how, but I did.
I understand that Larry Gelbart, the co-book writer on "Forum", tried to get an injunction, or at least to sue.  He just wound up discouraging people to see it.
Mickey let that show die a totally pointless death.
Apparently, there was no one around him who could tell him "No".
To this day, it was more torture than I've ever chosen to sit though in an evening of theatre.
And I sat through "The Addams Family".

To sum up, with all the great work he did, that evening almost totally put him in the minus column for me.
Almost, but not quite.
He did all that great work.
For so long.
All he needed was someone to keep him in line.
So over all, he was better than he was not.
But that "Forum" experience made it awfully close.     

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
Add to this, my new Kickstarter project, "Another Network".  Please check it out at Kickstarter.com

*****

It Was The Worst Of Mickey Rooney.

Okay.
Let's put aside for a moment that he made "Andy Hardy Comes Home" in 1958, when he was 38, and the boat had long since sailed, and he was way too long in  the tooth.
Let's put that aside.
Let's put aside the fact that over the next three years, he had enough clout to star in, and in one case, even co-direct, three Grade Z cheap features:
My personal favorite, "The Big Operator"---ironic, because, of course, physically, he was anything but big.
Even though he wore big clothes.
He played the King of the Underworld.
And he cast, as the sympathetic romantic leads, Steve Cochran and Mamie Van Doren.
That's right, Steve Cochran and Mamie Van Doren.
Two people who were never before or since sympathetic in anything.
It was as bad as it sounds.
He then did "The Private Lives of Adam and Eve", in which he played the Devil in the form of a snake.
Again, with Mamie Van Doren as Eve.
Adam was played by Martin Milner.
Something which I'm sure he points with pride on his resume.
What was it with Mickey and Mamie Van Doren?
One can only form an educated guess.
He immediately followed this one up with "Platinum High School".
Now, who was more platinum than Mamie Van Doren?
Only she wasn't in this one.
They got, and "introduced" Yvette Mimieux.
This was just about the time Mamie started her fling with baseball phenom Bo Belinsky.
Plus, she was obviously too old for high school, so it didn't make sense on multi-levels.
But if Bo was out of the picture, I'm pretty sure Mickey would have handed her pom-poms.
But let's put ALL that aside.
And let's put aside the two really crappy sitcoms he starred in and was in charge of, "Hey Mulligan!", and "Mickey".
All you needed to make them work were good writers he would listen to.
But let's put that aside.
And let's put aside the "Mickey and Marty" movies.
Mickey went on the Tonight Show with Johnny to explain his idea for his "Mickey and Marty"  movies.
Marty, in this case, being Marty Allen.
Marty had been undergoing one of his handful of separations from Steve Rossi.
Mickey was going to take up the slack.
As Mickey was describing the kind of cornball movies he planned to make with Marty, the audience just fidgeted, and the camera cut to Johnny, who did one of his famous takes right into the camera.
And right there, right at that moment, it was the end of the "Mickey and Marty" movies.
But let's put that aside.
Let's put it ALL aside, until next time, when I get to the one thing I can NEVER put aside.
Until then....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
Add to this, my new Kickstarter project, "Another Network".  Please check it out at Kickstarter.com

*****

It Was The Bet Of Mickey Rooney...(3).

He did so many wonderful things after 1949, where, on TV, he was usually the top billed guest star, or in the movies, where he wasn't.
The Dick Powell Theater, perhaps the last and greatest anthology series, had him star four times.
He was great, and different, all four times.
He did a half-hour filmed episode of the Alcoa Theatre, called "Eddie".
Solo.
On the telephone.
He owed bookies money, and they were threatening to kill him.
Telephone acting is the hardest.
You have to convey who the character on the other end of the phone is, and what he's saying.
You can't cheat like Bob Newhart or Shelley Berman, and repeat what the other character has said.
Mickey won an Emmy for "Eddie".
He did an episode of "Hennesey" and just shone.
I recently saw him in an episode of the Milton Berle show.
He wiped Uncle Miltie off the screen.
In that one hour, he became Mr. Television.

The movies?  Where to begin....
"Requiem For a Heavyweight"
Jackie Gleason, Anthony Quinn, Rooney, and Julie Harris.
Arguably Gleason's greatest performance.
He managed to make you hate him and care about him at the same time.
And much of the hatred and caring came through the  eyes of Mickey Rooney's character.
You don't give your greatest performance alone.
Gleason and Anthony Quinn apparently detested each other.
Their acting styles completely contrasted.
Gleason just got up and did it.
Quinn had to "Soak it in".
Gleason mocked Quinn for this.
Later, when asked who the best actor he ever worked with was, Quinn shot right back with "Mickey Rooney".
And it wasn't a shot at Gleason.  He meant it.
Mickey certainly held his own in the scenes he had with Buddy Hackett in "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World".
In 1969, Carl Reiner made a film starring Dick Van Dyke called "The Comic".
It was about the silent film era.
Van Dyke played a combination of Stan Laurel and Harry Langdon.
Mickey Rooney played a character named Martin "Cockeye" Van Buren.
Cross-eyed.
It was his version of Ben Turpin.
There was a lot of  "silent" footage.
Mickey was a great physical comedian.
He threw moves that Ben Turpin was never capable of.
All Turpin had was his crossed eyes.
It made sense that Rooney would be a great silent comedian.
He WAS one.
When he was a kid.
In scores of "Mickey McGuire" movies.
"The Comic" turned very dramatic as the silent era ended and their careers crashed.
There is this this great scene that takes place in the present.
Van Dyke and Rooney, now both old, are sitting on a park bench, facing the one theater in L.A. that still showed silent movies.
Mickey is still cross-eyed.
They are bemoaning their current place in the world, and the world in general.
Rooney, pointing to his own eyes, says "When people stopped laughing at these, they started killing each other."
Pretty haunting stuff.
Then there were more awards, nominations----"Bill", The Black Stallion"
Wonderful work.
It's almost a shame that next time I have to start taking a crap on him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
Add to this, my new Kickstarter project, "Another Network".  Please check it out at Kickstarter.com

*****

It Was The Best Of Mickey Rooney....(2)

As Mickey Rooney grew into adulthood, as much as he could grow,  a hard-and-fast rule began to  develop:  The more control he had over a project, the more star power he had to exert, the worse the project would come off.
This was particularly true with movies.
Past 1949, if Mickey Rooney was the star of the movie, name over the title, the bigger abomination it was.
I'll discuss this more when we get to "The Worst of Mickey Rooney",
Conversely, the smaller the part he had in a movie, the better the movie was, and the  better he was in it.
In 1957, there was a serviceable service comedy called "Operation Mad Ball".
This was essentially a good movie, with some lovely moments in it.
Jack Lemmon and Ernie Kovacs were the two main stars in it.
I always thought that Lemmon was overrated, and Kovacs was a great TV innovator, but not that much of a screen presence.
The story was simple:
World War Two was over and the G.I.s wanted to celebrate the closing of the Army hospital by secretly attempting to throw a wild party.
Mickey Rooney  had two scenes as Chief Supply Officer Yancey Skeebo, both with Lemmon and Dick York, in his pre-Darren Stevens days, where they were trying to convince Mickey to move papers around in order to get the supplies they needed.
Skeebo had apparently memorized the Almanac.
And all the information at his fingertips.
In these two scenes, he completely wipes the floor with Lemmon and York, thoroughly improves the picture, and walks off with it.
Those scenes are on YouTube.
Just type in Mickey Rooney Operation Mad Ball, and enjoy.
He did a small part as the Japanese neighbor in "Breakfast at Tiffany's".
It might strike some as rather racist, because he had those oversized buck teeth.
But he was hilarious.
He had major success on early TV.
He starred in an episode of Playhouse 90, written by Rod Serling, called "The Comedian"
They showed it on a PBS series called "The Golden Age of Television"
Beforehand, they showed an interview with John Frankenheimer, who directed it.
In it, Frankenheimer noted that during the two-week rehearsal process, Rooney was brilliant.
But he was differently brilliant each time.
He constantly strayed from the script.
Just as he did when he did with Tony Randall when they did "The Odd Couple".
And none of the strayings were as good as what Serling wrote.
Frakenheimer called him on it.
Rooney replied "The only time I do it word for word is for ol' Willie Shakespeare, boy!"
Frankenheimer played him: "Well that's all well and good, but you see this line here?  Well there's a man in the booth who pushes the buttons, and until he hears this line from you, he's not going to push the button that gives you your close-up.
According to Frankenheimer, from then on Rooney was letter perfect.
If you want to see just how  Emmy-Winningly perfect he was, the entire kinescope of "The Comedian" is on YouTube, and it, and he, is brilliant.
I have more praise to heap on Mickey Rooney, and  I'll do it next time.  

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
Add to this, my new Kickstarter project, "Another Network".  Please check it out at Kickstarter.com

*****

It Was The Best Of Mickey Rooney.....

Yes, the man had character flaws:
Boorishness, especially in public, and I'm told, in private.
Poor judgment.
A total lack of discipline.
Yet, he probably had more raw talent than anyone else who ever lived.
When "The Odd Couple" was being planned as a TV series, it was Tony Randall's choice as to who would play Oscar.
Tony had performed the play in Las Vegas opposite Mickey.
Tony thought Mickey was the greatest thing since sliced bread, even though Mickey had a tendency to stray from the page and the action.
But Tony easily guided him back to civilization.
And to Tony, it was worth the effort.
That's how much he thought of him.
So when Garry Marshall asked Tony who he wanted as Oscar, Tony immediately shot back with Mickey Rooney.
On the TV stage, it was easier to yell "Cut!", and eliminate the straying.
After major wincing, Garry proposed that Tony write down on a piece of paper any other name, and sight unseen, Garry would be fine with him.
And that's how Jack Klugman was born.
Garry had worked with Mickey on a TV movie called "Evil Roy Slade".
Mickey did some really good work in "Evil Roy Slade".
Garry just couldn't stomach being around him.
As Jack Klugman was quite instrumental in launching my career, it must at least be somewhat attributed to how much people didn't want to be around Mickey Rooney.
So I owe him that.
But all of this is transcended by the wonderful work he displayed over a career that outspanned everyone else's.
 Where to start?
I guess chronologically.
"A Midsummer Night's Dream", where still  child, he played Puck.
Brilliantly.
"Boy's Town", opposite Spencer Tracy.
Exceptional.  Easily sharing the screen with Tracy.
"Young Tom Edison".  Great.
All those Andy Hardy movies, which I've always been a sucker for.
Evocative of a time in this country that probably never existed, but boy, did you wish it did.
The Mickey-Judy "Let's put on a  show" musicals.
She was his female match when it came to talent, and I was always in awe watching the two of them together.
"The Human Comedy".  The film adaptation of the William Saroyan play, where as a young teenager, Mickey had a job at Western Union, delivering telegrams.
This was during World War Two.
And I'll never forget the scene that depicted the first time that he had to deliver a telegram to a family, informing them that their son was killed in battle.
It seemed to torture Mickey's character more than the family.
It has always been haunting to me.
There will be a part two of this, because we have barely scratched the surface.
You'd think maybe I'd covered it, but really I haven't
And we will eventually get around to "The Worst of Mickey Rooney"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
Add to this, my new Kickstarter project, "Another Network".  Please check it out at Kickstarter.com

*****

Hey There, Bunky.....

One of the funniest people ever died last Tuesday.
His name was Eddie Lawrence.
Maybe you'd know him better as "The Old Philosopher"
Maybe you wouldn't.
But his Old Philosopher routine was as funny as I can remember.
And this goes back to my childhood.
It was usually in the form of a comedy album.
Perhaps the first clean one ever, of course not counting Redd Foxx and Belle Barth.
But I always thought it worked better visually.
He did all the major TV variety shows with it----Sullivan, Steve Allen, Carson, and invariably killed.

For the unfamiliar, I'll paraphrase an example of what he did from his New York Times Obituary:

(With the soft strains of "Beautiful Dreamer" in the background)
“Hey there, Bunky, you say you lost your job today?
You say it’s 4 a.m. and your kids ain’t come home from school yet?
You say your wife went out for a corned beef sandwich last weekend — the corned beef sandwich came back but she didn’t?
You say your furniture’s out all over the sidewalk cause you can’t pay the rent and you got chapped lips and paper cuts and your feet’s all swollen up and blistered from pounding the pavement looking for work?
Is that’s what’s troubling you, fella?”
(Then, as "Beautiful Dreamer" gave way to a marching band playing something boisterous by John Philip Sousa, he bellowed).

“Then lift your head up high!
Take a walk in the sun with that dignity and stick-to-it-iveness, and you’ll show the world, you’ll show them where to get off!
And you’ll never give up, never give up, never give up ((whap! whap!) — that ship!”
Then he'd do two or three more versions, with different jokes, but always followed up by never giving up that ship.

There is a live performance of this on YouTube.
Just type in Eddie Lawrence The Old Philosopher, and click on the one where you can see his face.
NOT one of the album covers.
An album cover will be at the beginning of that one too, but it's not the icon.
You all owe yourselves this.
Some people a little younger than me might be familiar with some of this because Soupy Sales, on his TV show, when he went to the radio to check the weather, would "stumble" across a cut from one of Eddie's albums.
Or he'd have Pookie the lion mime him.

Eddie Lawrence also had a very good part in the Broadway musical "Bells Are Ringing" and the distinction of writing the book and lyrics for the shortest running musical ever to open on Broadway.
It was "Kelly", and it ran one night.
Lawrence sued to prevent it from opening, after changes he didn't approve of were added.
It sounds like he had taste.
I also vaguely remember him briefly hosting a kiddie show on TV, not unlike "Howdy Doody", or maybe he was filling in for Buffalo Bob.
And whenever he did the live commercials, or when the kids in the Peanut Gallery were starting to bug him, he would mildly threaten them with "Thumps"
As in "If you kids keep this up, you'll be getting your thumps"
Or, If you don't buy these Tootsie Rolls, you're gonna get your thumps".
Occasionally he'd call them "your little thumperinos"
It made me hysterical.
He had a brief but memorable part in the film "The Night They Raided Minsky's"
He played one of the burlesque comics.
On the burlesque stage, he appeared in the sketch commonly known as "Crazy House".
In it, he played the patient in a hospital room, and people would come in and do crazy things
As each punchline was reached, Lawrence would punctuate it by yelling "Nurse! Nurse!", and rolling his eyes and his fingers.
As far as I'm concerned, he stole the picture right there.

He will be sorely missed, but it's really nice that he made it to be 95 years old.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

 

*****

Officially Legendary.

A while back, (last September, to be precise,) I wrote an eight part series of articles entitled ""Why I Am Not Babaloo Mandel".
It was essentially a response to my former writing partner Lowell Ganz's 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends website.
I followed it with a post entitled "Coda".
In "Coda", I informed my readers that I had just completed my own 4-hour interview at the same website.
I was told that it would probably take a few months before the interview would be put up on the website.
Well, a few months have since passed.
It is now March, and the interview is now online at the website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman
It covers a lot of ground about my life and career.
It deals with a lot of what I covered in the "Babaloo Mandel" articles, in a somewhat less gritty fashion.
I essentially followed my late mother's advice with this one----"You should make a nice appearance", and "Speak out loud, and with expression".
People who have seen it say I look great, so that takes care of the first.
And I can't think of a time when I have not spoken out loud and with expression.
So at least on that level, she'd be pleased.
Maybe less so when I made fun of her here and there.
I'm also hearing that the interview is very entertaining.
The interviewer is always instructed not to laugh, thus she didn't.
But I had the cameraman and the boom-mike guy in stitches.
I know this because I could see it, and they told me afterwards.
I don't think you can hear them, though.
If you watch the first part, and then want to see the second part, it can get tricky.
Just click where it says "Interview" underneath where my picture is.
The same applies to the third and fourth parts.
If you're still having trouble, e-mail me, and I can try to guide you through it.
I'm not going to post again this week, because I'd like to have this one be at the top of the blog, to call as much attention to it as I can.
But I'll be back next week.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube, and my 4-hour interview at the Television Academy's Emmy TV Legends Website.
Here's the link:  www.emmytvlegends.org/interviews/people/mark-rothman

 

*****

Calculations.

I went out for lunch with one of my friends here in Detroit last week at one of those restaurants that had lanterns over each table.
Kind of an upgraded Applebees, with better food.
The miracles of the 21st Century have eliminated two of my biggest weaknesses in life:
The GPS, which has neutralized my lack of any sense of direction behind the wheel, and my newly acquired app for a restaurant tip calculator, eliminating my inability to figure out how much of a tip  to leave, based on service received.
This week, the Malaysian Airliner is the top news story.
Last week, at the restaurant, it was the Ukraine.

I love intelligent verbal sparring with waitresses.
Call me sexist if you must, but I don't derive the same enjoyment verballizing with waiters, nor do they with me.
The young waitress we had that day was sharp as a tack.  We were making each other laugh repeatedly.
Part of good waitressing is how good a show you can put on.
It's not just about schlepping out food.
And she was brilliant at it.
We were having a grand old time.
I had already set her at 22% on my tip calculator
Then, I said to my friend, in front of the waitress,  You know what bugs me about this whole Ukraine situation?  It's knocked Chris Christie off the front page."
I consider the whole Chris Christie story just about the most compelling story of the last few years.
Perhaps not the most important, but certainly the most compelling.
It's classic Good Guys vs. Bad Guys.
You can't beat it.
And it's still unraveling.  Nothing should knock it off the front page.
This very sharp, very intelligent waitress stared at me and asked "Who's Chris Christie?
She hadn't a clue.
Then I asked "Do you  know what the Ukraine is?
She stared at me blankly.
I said "You know.  A  crane.  A bird.  And it goes  "Ooh, ooh".  Just like Gunther Toody."
Like I had a prayer with that one.
I learned the hard way that intelligence doesn't necessarily translate to knowledge.
And in this case, to have no respect for knowledge.
And this may seem a little harsh, but my only recourse was to roll down  my tip calculator to 13%.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

I See Nothing.

Cynthia Lynn died last week.
Until last week, I had no idea who Cynthia Lynn was.
That's because her only claim to fame was as Helga on the TV series "Hogan's Heroes".
I only watched "Hogan's Heroes" the first time it was on.
That's because I found it to be almost as big an atrocity as the Holocaust itself.
It was ostensibly based on Billy Wilder's great "Stalag 17".
But even though that film had it's comic touches, it was very much a serious movie.
The premise of "Hogan's Heroes"" was to portray Nazis as comic buffoons.
As idiots.
As non-threatening idiots.
In "Stalag 17", there was always menacing danger lurking.
My reaction to that singular viewing of "Hogan's Heroes" was quite similar to the first act audience's first response to "Springtime For Hitler" in "The Producers".
Except that I never recovered from it.
It's as if it was produced by Max Bialystock.
How does a Jew, who lost many of his ancestors to what went on in Concentration Camps, react to witnessing funny, silly Nazis?
If you're me, you're outraged.
And you don't watch again.
That's why I never heard of Cynthia Lynn.
Robert Clary is now the sole surviving member of the "Hogan's Heroes" cast.
You'd think he'd be particularly sensitive to the same concerns that I've had, since he spent most of his childhood in Concentration Camps.
But I guess a gig's a gig.
In the early 90's, I lived near Scottsdale Arizona.
One night I watched the A&E documentary about the murder of Bob Crane.
I realized that it took place about two miles from my house.
It was easy to track down.
So whenever friends would come to visit me in Scottsdale, I'd take them on a guided tour of the front of the apartment where Bob Crane was murdered.
That consistently provided me with more laughs than ""Hogan's Heroes" ever did.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card---"Prisoners"

This will be the last Report Card for the past movie season.
Then, next week, we will go back to real life.

"Prisoners" is essentially a two-part episode of "Law and Order---Criminal Intent"
That was a show that I really liked a lot.
And the quality here is pretty much at that level.
The main difference is that the father of the two kidnapping victims (Hugh Jackman), not a criminologist, is the savant equivalent of Vincent D'Onofrio on "L&O----Criminal Intent".
All that's missing is Jackman stooping way over like D'Onofrio to interrogate his witness.
And the cop running the investigation (Jake Gyllenhall) is a bit of a lunkhead.
I found this to be an interesting twist.
I found this to be a very good movie, although it really felt more like a really good TV show.

On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

Extremely.
A+.

Compelling even?

Sometimes.
A.

Is it controversial?

It's not really that deep.
B-.

Is it a story worth telling?

It is a ripping yarn.
A+.

Is it good storytelling?

Extremely.
A+.

Is it well written?

The writing serves the story very well..
A.

Is it well cast? Well played?  Well shot?

I love Hugh Jackman, and he's terrific in this.
Gyllenhall is okay.   It's shot well.
B+.

Is it too long? Too short?

It's long, but doesn't feel it.
A+.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Jackman seems a little too smart, but that's easily overlooked.  You certainly care about the characters.
B+.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

It manages to stay ahead of you, except at the very end.
B+.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

It's not really that kind of movie.
B..

Is it funny?

Occasionally
B..

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

It really felt like television.
C.

Is it impressive ?

Somewhat.
B+.

Overall grade: A-.

 The enjoyment here is purely while you watch it.  Not at all what you bring away from it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card---"Before Midnight"

This movie got a nomination for Best Screenplay.
It would have gotten my vote for Best Boring Screenplay.
That's about it.
After I saw it, I learned that it was the third of a trilogy.
I can't imagine what the first two were.
The first hour or so is merely amiable chatter among a husband and wife and their friends.
Then the friends go away and things get less amiable, and slightly more interesting.
Slightly more interesting than Really Boring.

 On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

Asked and answered.
C-.

Compelling even?

Never.
F.

Is it controversial?

Only on the issue of "How did they get three movies out of these characters?
F.

Is it a story worth telling?

Not once, much less three times.
F.

Is it good storytelling?

Totally out of balance.
F.

Is it well written?

Only when the couple starts arguing.
B-.

Is it well cast? Well played?  Well shot?

Not particularly, on any level.
C.
 
Is it too long? Too short?

WAY too long.
F.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Life can certainly be this tedious, but why immortalize it?
And no, I don't care about the characters.
F.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

I was surprised when it made it's turn and got sort of interesting.
B.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

I just barely recall it now.
F.

Is it funny?

No.
F.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

I keep trying to come up with new ways of saying "No", but no.
F.

Is it impressive ?

Never.
F.
Overall grade: C-..

 The celluloid definition of "artsy-fartsy".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card----"42"

This is the other ennobling film dealing with racial intolerance that I'm reporting on this week.
Unlike the others, I thought "42" was magnificent on almost every level.
It deserved an Oscar nomination, at least.
And based on the way the voting went, it should have won.
I thought that just in terms of importance, it deserved more than the others of it's ilk.
Everyone, of every generation, knows what went on with slavery.
But we have to keep reminding kids, who think that baseball was always integrated, how important Jackie Robinson was.
And "42" did a wonderful job of that.  

On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

Thoroughly.  And I knew all about it.  Imagine those who didn't.
A+.

Compelling even?

Totally.
A+.

Is it controversial?

It cuts it's teeth on controversy.
A+.

Is it a story worth telling?

Vitally
A+.

Is it good storytelling?

Excellent.
A+.

Is it well written?

Very.  Much was based on things that were actually said.
A.

Is it well cast? Well played? 

Harrison Ford bought tremendous presence to Branch Rickey.  The kid playing Jackie Robinson wasn't as interesting as Robinson himself.
B+.

Well shot?

I'm separating this question for the first time.  The shooting and the art direction in particular were so magnificent that it must be discussed separately.  I don't know how they managed to do it, but they managed to recreate, brick by brick, all the old ballparks that have been torn down that Robinson played in.  And all the teams' uniforms were perfectly recreated.  I know that this only matters to a rabid baseball fan, but I am one.  Care was taken.
A+.

Is it too long? Too short?

Never an issue.
A.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

Of course, and of course.  I was a little surprised that, even though his character appeared in the film, nothing was made of Red Barber's expressing his reluctance to continue calling the games for the Dodgers.  Barber was from the Deep South, and had later expressed his regrets about feeling that way. Thus, his function in the film was as a mere sportscaster.  It makes me wonder if a scene about this was shot, but ended up on the cutting room floor.
B.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

Not really an issue.
No Grade.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Only about Red Barber, and how good Harrison Ford was.  Where was his nomination?
A.

Is it funny?

When it tries to be, which isn't often.
B.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

It depends on how big the TV screen in your house is, and whether you have HD.
B+.

Is it impressive ?

Totally.
A.

Overall grade: A.

This one was criminally ignored.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****

Report Card---"Lee Daniel's 'The Butler' ".

Now that the Academy has rolled over and played dead for a picture ennobling the Black Experience, this and the next post will deal with two films with similar themes that the Academy completely ignored.
Beginning with "Lee Daniel's 'The Butler' ".
You kind of know you're in some sort of trouble when you give a possessive credit in the title to a director you've never heard of.
Seems, what's the word, pretentious?
This pretty much sums up the film.
I disliked it less than I disliked "Twelve Years A Slave", a dead horse that I will continue to flog at any opportunity, but that's not saying much.
This "Butler" film is essentially two movies.
One follows the butler character as he serves various Presidents in a career in the White House spanning generations.
The other follows his son, who has morphed himself into an Eldridge Cleaver type.
It's difficult to determine which is less interesting.
They each give each other a run for their money.
I was a little less impartial to the Butler's story.

On to the scoring: 

Is it interesting?

On rare occasions.
C-.

Compelling even?

Never.
F.

Is it controversial?

It seems to strive for it, but it really isn't.
C-.

Is it a story worth telling?

I saw no need.
D.

Is it good storytelling?

It was told rather tediously.
C-.

Is it well written?

There wasn't much to work with, and the writing certainly didn't transcend it
C-.

Is it well cast? Well played?  Well shot?

I suppose all three.  That's the kindest thing I can say about it.
A.

Is it too long? Too short?

A little long.
B-.

Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?

I cared about the butler.  I didn't  care about his son.
B-.

Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?

You don't even think about it in those terms.
C-.

Do you think about it after you've seen it?

Not a bit.
D.

Is it funny?

Never.
F.

Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?

Maybe if you're black.  Maybe.
C-.

Is it impressive ?

It didn't impress me.
C.

Overall grade: C-.

It was really just pageantry..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.

And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

*****