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Thursday, July 28, 2011

The Weiner Comps. 6.

I'm going to attempt to accelerate the process by taking on four candidates today.
And they've all been candidates, politically, at one time or another, as has Anthony Weiner:
President Bill Clinton, Governor Mark Sanford, governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Senator John Edwards.

1) Seriousness of the scandal--

Clinton--Really just infidelity, blown way out of proportion by the impeachment trial.
Sanford--Also just infidelity, blown out of proportion by the hike on the Appalachian Trail in Argentina.
Schwarzenegger--Just infidelity, complicated by nothing, except maybe a complicated divorce.
Edwards--Just infidelity, complicated by a wife who's dying, but whom a lot of people didn't like too much.
D's for all.

2) Degree of embarrassment they caused to themselves and others--

Clinton--Considerable, particularly to his family.
Sanford--Unknown, really.
Schwarzenegger--None to him, plenty to Maria and probably all the Kennedys, whom you'd think would be embarrassment-proof by now.
Edwards--Loads of embarrassment all around.
Clinton, B+, Sanford, C-, Schwarzenegger, B-, Edwards, A.
Those grades are based on Weiner's level of embarrassment being the highest.

3) Whether or not an actual crime was committed--

Clinton--Found guilty of perjury.
Sanford--No crime.
Schwarzenegger--No crime, unless you count "Jingle All The Way".
Edwards--The jury is literally out.
Clinton, D. Sanford, A. Schwarzenegger, A-, Edwards, C.

4) Whether or not the scandal caused him to resign from his job--

Clinton--No.
Sanford--No, although he was almost forced to.
Schwarzenegger--Was already a former Governor when the scandal hit. Now back to making moom pitchas.
Edwards--Was virtually unemployed at the time.
D's for all.

5) Nature of the creepiness of the sexual indiscretion--

Clinton--Paula Jones.
Sanford--Is it really creepy that it was apparently more than just sex?
Schwarzenegger--The potential menagerie of illegitimate children he has strewn upon the landscape.
Edwards--Rielle Hunter.
D's for all.

6) The extent to which lying was involved:

Clinton--Staggering.
Sanford--Considerable.
Schwarzenegger--Not really overt.
Edwards--Major.
Clinton, A+, Sanford, B+, Schwarzenegger, C-, Edwards, A.

7) The likelihood of his recovering from the effects of the scandal:

Clinton--It's already been total.
Sanford--None.
Schwarzenegger--Depends on how the next few movies do.
Edwards--Less than none
Weiner, too soon to tell.
So, no grades.

Overall Grades comparing them to Weiner:

Clinton, C-, Sanford, C-, Schwarzenegger C+, Edwards, B.

We can do better than these.

Next time, the two finalists.

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For those of you in the Tri-State Area, I'm doing a reading and signing of my book, "Mark Rothman's Essays" at the Westport Connecticut Library on
Monday, August 1st, at 7:30pm.
Also,on Tuesday, August 2nd, at the Huntington Book Revue,
Huntington Long Island, at 7pm.
I look forward to seeing anyone who wants to see me.

******

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Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at macchus999@aol.com. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."