A while back, I did a Report Card on the play "August Osage County" when it appeared on Broadway. I thought it was slow, talky, long, and took a whole lot of time to get where it was going.
But when it got there, it was worth the wait.
The film version is a whole different animal.
It came flying right out of the gate.
The playwright was also the screenwriter, so apparently he was very open to criticism.
I think he won a Pulitzer Prize with the play, so he probably didn't have to take shit from anybody.
Except maybe Meryl Streep.
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Extremely. From the opening bell.
A+.
Compelling even?
Perhaps the definition of the word "compelling"".
A+.
Is it controversial?
Very.
A+.
Is it a story worth telling?
It always was..
A+.
Is it good storytelling?
Great storytelling, considering what it used to be.
A+.
Is it well written?
Extremely well written. Great dialogue.
A+.
Is it well cast? Well played?, Well shot?
Mostly. Streep is at the top of her game. But I thought Julia Roberts, good as she was, was miscast.
The character she plays is described by other characters as aging, destined to be ugly and losing her looks. Julia Roberts looked fantastic. Something seemed amiss.
A.
Is it too long? Too short?
It never seemed long, which was a major accomplishment.
A+.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
It's still a bit theatrical, . but yes, and yes.
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
I didn't remember the play that well, so it was not predictable, and surprised the hell out of me, on several levels.
A+.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
You are overwhelmed by it.
A+
Is it funny?
Quite often.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
If that was the only way to see it, definitely. Particularly with a full audience.
A.
Is it impressive ?
Stunning.
A+.
Overall grade: A+.
I think Streep already has my vote in her pocket.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and; Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Report Card---"Enough Said".
"Enough Said" is a romantic comedy drama that stars James Gandolfini and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss.
It was Gandolfini's last film.
He died during shooting.
You really can't tell.
It borders on being a chick-flick, but stays within the borders.
It is very warm, entertaining, interesting, and thoughtful
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Very.
A.
Compelling even?
I wouldn't go that far.
B.
Is it controversial?
To a minor extent.
B.
Is it a story worth telling?
Absolutely
A.
Is it good storytelling?
Very. It is relentlessly interesting.
A.
Is it well written?
Extremely well written. Not quite Aaron Sorkin level, but close.
A+.
Is it well cast? Well played?, Well shot?
All of the above. Particularly if they had to do gymnastics to cover Gandolfini's posthumous scenes.
A+.
Is it too long? Too short?
Just right.
A.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
Considering that the premise might seem far-fetched, totally, and totally..
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
The ending was a bit predictable, but nothing else along the way was.
B+.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
The story was quite intriguing, and I thought a lot about Gandolfini.
A+
Is it funny?
Quite often.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
I needn't have left the house, but that's me.
C.
Is it impressive ?
Quite.
A.
Overall grade: A.
This was the best possible way to remember Gandolfini.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and; Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
It was Gandolfini's last film.
He died during shooting.
You really can't tell.
It borders on being a chick-flick, but stays within the borders.
It is very warm, entertaining, interesting, and thoughtful
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Very.
A.
Compelling even?
I wouldn't go that far.
B.
Is it controversial?
To a minor extent.
B.
Is it a story worth telling?
Absolutely
A.
Is it good storytelling?
Very. It is relentlessly interesting.
A.
Is it well written?
Extremely well written. Not quite Aaron Sorkin level, but close.
A+.
Is it well cast? Well played?, Well shot?
All of the above. Particularly if they had to do gymnastics to cover Gandolfini's posthumous scenes.
A+.
Is it too long? Too short?
Just right.
A.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
Considering that the premise might seem far-fetched, totally, and totally..
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
The ending was a bit predictable, but nothing else along the way was.
B+.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
The story was quite intriguing, and I thought a lot about Gandolfini.
A+
Is it funny?
Quite often.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
I needn't have left the house, but that's me.
C.
Is it impressive ?
Quite.
A.
Overall grade: A.
This was the best possible way to remember Gandolfini.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and; Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Report Card: "Dallas Buyers Club".
Yes folks, it's that time of year again.
The studios have sent me their screeners with care.
So it's sure that my report cards soon will be there.
For the uninitiated, Report Cards are my way of reviewing films or plays as I witness them. attempting to give the reader as little plot information as possible to be able to make an informed judgment as to whether or not he or she should make the effort to see them.
I do this because I go out of my way every year to be avoid being bombarded with clips and other reviewers' plot summaries so I can be surprised by what I see.
I also try to present you with a screenwriter's point of view.
Something most reviewers are incapable of providing.
If you agree with what I have written after you see any of these films, Report Cards can be a valuable tool for you.
That's my intent.
So, unless something far more fascinating to write about comes along in the next few weeks, this space will be bombarded with Report Cards.
The first film is "Dallas Buyers Club""
It stars Matthew McConaughey.
Every year, it seems to be in somebody's deal to appear in every movie.
This year, it's Matthew McConaughey.
I've seen about five films so far, and he has been in three of them.
The film is about the rise of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980's.
All the way back to Rock Hudson.
The ad campaign, from what I've seen of it, is quite violent.
This is a bit of a mislead.
There is maybe a minute-and-a-half of violence in the whole movie.
And minor violence at that.
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Extremely.
A+.
Compelling even?
Occasionally.
B+.
Is it controversial?
Quite. Questions of morality jump out at you from all over the place.
A+..
Is it a story worth telling?
Absolutely
A.
Is it good storytelling?
Very. It starts a little slow and depressing, but really snowballs after that.
A.
Is it well written?
Very well written.
A.
Is it well cast? Well played?, Well shot?
All of the above.
A.
Is it too long? Too short?
Just right.
A.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
Yes, and yes.
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
Nothing predictable. I was quite ignorant about the subject, and the particular aspects of it that they got into, and found it to be a very positive education.
A+.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
There is quite a bit to chew on.
A+
Is it funny?
When it tries to be, which isn't often.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
I could have waited to see it on HBO..
C.
Is it impressive ?
Quite.
A.
Overall grade: A.
This is a very impressive film.
We're off to a very good start..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
The studios have sent me their screeners with care.
So it's sure that my report cards soon will be there.
For the uninitiated, Report Cards are my way of reviewing films or plays as I witness them. attempting to give the reader as little plot information as possible to be able to make an informed judgment as to whether or not he or she should make the effort to see them.
I do this because I go out of my way every year to be avoid being bombarded with clips and other reviewers' plot summaries so I can be surprised by what I see.
I also try to present you with a screenwriter's point of view.
Something most reviewers are incapable of providing.
If you agree with what I have written after you see any of these films, Report Cards can be a valuable tool for you.
That's my intent.
So, unless something far more fascinating to write about comes along in the next few weeks, this space will be bombarded with Report Cards.
The first film is "Dallas Buyers Club""
It stars Matthew McConaughey.
Every year, it seems to be in somebody's deal to appear in every movie.
This year, it's Matthew McConaughey.
I've seen about five films so far, and he has been in three of them.
The film is about the rise of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980's.
All the way back to Rock Hudson.
The ad campaign, from what I've seen of it, is quite violent.
This is a bit of a mislead.
There is maybe a minute-and-a-half of violence in the whole movie.
And minor violence at that.
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Extremely.
A+.
Compelling even?
Occasionally.
B+.
Is it controversial?
Quite. Questions of morality jump out at you from all over the place.
A+..
Is it a story worth telling?
Absolutely
A.
Is it good storytelling?
Very. It starts a little slow and depressing, but really snowballs after that.
A.
Is it well written?
Very well written.
A.
Is it well cast? Well played?, Well shot?
All of the above.
A.
Is it too long? Too short?
Just right.
A.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
Yes, and yes.
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
Nothing predictable. I was quite ignorant about the subject, and the particular aspects of it that they got into, and found it to be a very positive education.
A+.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
There is quite a bit to chew on.
A+
Is it funny?
When it tries to be, which isn't often.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
I could have waited to see it on HBO..
C.
Is it impressive ?
Quite.
A.
Overall grade: A.
This is a very impressive film.
We're off to a very good start..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, December 19, 2013
"Oklahoma!" And "Top Banana"
These two Broadway shows have never previously been linked in any way.
But they actually had a great deal in common.
Films made from these two shows were both major abominations.
With "Oklahoma!", I'm not referring to the 1955 film that starred Gordon MacRae and Shirley Jones.
This version was quite acceptable, even though much of the humor was lost.
It was a quite sincere rendition of the show, much like the NBC "Sound of Music" was quite sincere.
What I am referring to is the 2011 filmed version done by the Royal Nationall Theatre of Great Britain, which starred Hugh Jackman, and a bunch of other Brits.
What I learned before I saw this production on PBS by seeing other live performances of it is just how FUNNY the show is.
And how audience-dependent it is for it's laughs.
"Oklahoma!" is a show that was always audience dependent.
Agnes DeMille, the original choreographer, was interviewed about the original production, which took place in 1943.
She talked about how the show's audience was always filled with soldiers and sailors, about to be shipped out to most-likely meet their doom.
It reminded them of what they were fighting for.
The audience contributed mightily to the success of "Oklahoma!"
In the Hugh Jackman production, as good as it was on so many levels, they created the pretense of there being a live audience there to witness it.
You saw them filing in.
The overture started, and you never heard from them again until the final curtain calls.
The cast played it for all the laughs that were there.
They got no laughs from the "audience".
There was no applause from the audience after any musical number.
It was missing in action.
And I do mean "missing".
It was an obvious attempt to create the illusion that there was a live audience.
The critical reaction was praise for bringing out the "drama" that existed in the text.
But no criticism for letting the comedy fall flat as a pancake.
""Top Banana" was a somewhat different animal.
The filming was done completely on the cheap.
They simply went into the theatre where it was being performed, and shot a very theatrical performance of the show.
The only problem was that there was no live audience.
It was as if they filmed a dress rehearsal in the middle of the run.
It was about burlesque, and you could tell that many funny things were supposed to be happening.
I mean, it had Phil Silvers in the lead, and all.
And even so, some of it was hilarious.
But some of it was painfully terrible.
Not helped at all by the lack of an audience.
There was an occasional "stock shot" of an audience applauding, but that didn't fool anybody.
Why weren't they laughing?
Some shows are simply audience dependent, and without them, why bother?
Like I said, "The Sound of Music" at least stayed true to itself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
But they actually had a great deal in common.
Films made from these two shows were both major abominations.
With "Oklahoma!", I'm not referring to the 1955 film that starred Gordon MacRae and Shirley Jones.
This version was quite acceptable, even though much of the humor was lost.
It was a quite sincere rendition of the show, much like the NBC "Sound of Music" was quite sincere.
What I am referring to is the 2011 filmed version done by the Royal Nationall Theatre of Great Britain, which starred Hugh Jackman, and a bunch of other Brits.
What I learned before I saw this production on PBS by seeing other live performances of it is just how FUNNY the show is.
And how audience-dependent it is for it's laughs.
"Oklahoma!" is a show that was always audience dependent.
Agnes DeMille, the original choreographer, was interviewed about the original production, which took place in 1943.
She talked about how the show's audience was always filled with soldiers and sailors, about to be shipped out to most-likely meet their doom.
It reminded them of what they were fighting for.
The audience contributed mightily to the success of "Oklahoma!"
In the Hugh Jackman production, as good as it was on so many levels, they created the pretense of there being a live audience there to witness it.
You saw them filing in.
The overture started, and you never heard from them again until the final curtain calls.
The cast played it for all the laughs that were there.
They got no laughs from the "audience".
There was no applause from the audience after any musical number.
It was missing in action.
And I do mean "missing".
It was an obvious attempt to create the illusion that there was a live audience.
The critical reaction was praise for bringing out the "drama" that existed in the text.
But no criticism for letting the comedy fall flat as a pancake.
""Top Banana" was a somewhat different animal.
The filming was done completely on the cheap.
They simply went into the theatre where it was being performed, and shot a very theatrical performance of the show.
The only problem was that there was no live audience.
It was as if they filmed a dress rehearsal in the middle of the run.
It was about burlesque, and you could tell that many funny things were supposed to be happening.
I mean, it had Phil Silvers in the lead, and all.
And even so, some of it was hilarious.
But some of it was painfully terrible.
Not helped at all by the lack of an audience.
There was an occasional "stock shot" of an audience applauding, but that didn't fool anybody.
Why weren't they laughing?
Some shows are simply audience dependent, and without them, why bother?
Like I said, "The Sound of Music" at least stayed true to itself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
One More Mountain To Climb.
Allow me to be the last one to comment on NBC's production of "The Sound of Music".
Also, allow me to be the last to take a dump on Carrie Underwood.
It's not that I have anything against country music singers.
And it's not that I have anything against country music.
Let me amend that.
I have plenty against country music.
With the exceptions of Willie Nelson, Asleep at the Wheel, and the very recently departed Ray Price.
All are, or were, wonderful.
And I have nothing against country music stars appearing in Broadway shows.
Reba McIntyre was terrific in "South Pacific" and ""Annie Get Your Gun".
She has an enormously positive personality.
But I would never think of buying or even listening to any of her albums.
So it's not the genre.
And Carrie Underwood sings like a bird..
And she was totally responsible for this sumptuous production of this really good show to appear in Prime Time, somewhere other than PBS, where young kids were most likely exposed to their first Broadway musical.
This is all a very good thing.
What mitigates it all to some extent is that Carrie Underwood cannot act her way out of a paper bag.
She recites every one of her lines as if she was trying to remember them, or if they were being read off of cue cards.
Her eyes were completely vacuous.
This is a major setback.
Much was made of going back to the original play, restoring all the songs that were cut from the movie.
But even there, accommodations were made to fit Ms. Underwood.
They retained one of the songs from the movie, arguably the worst non-original song, "Something Good", and still dropped one of the best original songs, "An Ordinary Couple"
I think that decision was made because it was best suited for a more mature woman like Mary Martin.
You know, someone who can act.
There were two directors: The TV director, calling the shots, and the performance director.
The physical production and shot selection were handled superbly, so no blame can be laid at the TV director's doorstep.
Just about everyone else in the cast was wonderful, but the performance director must be judged by his weakest link.
Or maybe it was political.
He simply didn't want to get into it with Ms, Underwood about how much she stunk.
But all in all, it was a an event worthy of everyone's attention.
It was live.
There was a great supporting cast.
I was particularly taken with Laura Benanti as the Baroness, who eventually loses the Captain to Maria.
Benanti was so appealing and likeable and three-dimensional, and Underwood was such a lox, that I actually developed a rooting interest for Benanti to end up with the Captain.
Unfortunately, that was short-lived.
They made no bones about there being no live audience, even though it was a live event.
They were true to themselves, and did not suffer for it.
Unlike two other Broadway shows that attempted productions in other media, and suffered mightily for their efforts.
More about that next time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Also, allow me to be the last to take a dump on Carrie Underwood.
It's not that I have anything against country music singers.
And it's not that I have anything against country music.
Let me amend that.
I have plenty against country music.
With the exceptions of Willie Nelson, Asleep at the Wheel, and the very recently departed Ray Price.
All are, or were, wonderful.
And I have nothing against country music stars appearing in Broadway shows.
Reba McIntyre was terrific in "South Pacific" and ""Annie Get Your Gun".
She has an enormously positive personality.
But I would never think of buying or even listening to any of her albums.
So it's not the genre.
And Carrie Underwood sings like a bird..
And she was totally responsible for this sumptuous production of this really good show to appear in Prime Time, somewhere other than PBS, where young kids were most likely exposed to their first Broadway musical.
This is all a very good thing.
What mitigates it all to some extent is that Carrie Underwood cannot act her way out of a paper bag.
She recites every one of her lines as if she was trying to remember them, or if they were being read off of cue cards.
Her eyes were completely vacuous.
This is a major setback.
Much was made of going back to the original play, restoring all the songs that were cut from the movie.
But even there, accommodations were made to fit Ms. Underwood.
They retained one of the songs from the movie, arguably the worst non-original song, "Something Good", and still dropped one of the best original songs, "An Ordinary Couple"
I think that decision was made because it was best suited for a more mature woman like Mary Martin.
You know, someone who can act.
There were two directors: The TV director, calling the shots, and the performance director.
The physical production and shot selection were handled superbly, so no blame can be laid at the TV director's doorstep.
Just about everyone else in the cast was wonderful, but the performance director must be judged by his weakest link.
Or maybe it was political.
He simply didn't want to get into it with Ms, Underwood about how much she stunk.
But all in all, it was a an event worthy of everyone's attention.
It was live.
There was a great supporting cast.
I was particularly taken with Laura Benanti as the Baroness, who eventually loses the Captain to Maria.
Benanti was so appealing and likeable and three-dimensional, and Underwood was such a lox, that I actually developed a rooting interest for Benanti to end up with the Captain.
Unfortunately, that was short-lived.
They made no bones about there being no live audience, even though it was a live event.
They were true to themselves, and did not suffer for it.
Unlike two other Broadway shows that attempted productions in other media, and suffered mightily for their efforts.
More about that next time.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, December 12, 2013
The Saga Of "Ticky Tock".
Woody Guthrie once wrote an recorded a song called "Ticky Tock".
That's not what I am referring to here.
I mentioned after seeing the preview to "The Sound of Music" that there were charlatans in the Metropolitan area of New York who took advantage of kids in our neighborhood, convincing their starstruck mothers that their kids had the talent to send them into the stratosphere, if only they had a little coaching, which these crooks would provide.
This led to the mass auditions and rejections of these moppets for the original production of "The Sound of Music", which starred Mary Martin.
But there were other charlatans out there.
Those who took advantage of very young little "composers and lyricists", convincing them that for a fairly hefty fee, they could get their compositions published and recorded by major artists of the time.
Two such "composers and lyricists", actually I don't know who contributed what, were these two ten-year-olds named Debbie and Diane.
Their composition, which we in the neighborhood heard incessantly, was a little ditty called "Ticky Tock".
As I'm sure they had never heard of Woody Guthrie, and since I have heard his "Ticky Tock", I can assure you that they were not the same song.
I will attempt to recreate Debbie and Diane's "Ticky Tock" as best I can, considering that you can't hear the music on paper:
"When my baby left me,
I didn't know what to
do
oo
oo
ooh
When my baby left me, I was sad and
blue
oo
oo
ooh
So I looked at the clock, said "Ticky Tock"
Ticky Tah
ah
ah
ock
When my baby left me.....(and then the whole thing was repeated. Over and over.)
It never ended.
It was a song without end.
It's like it was on a loop.
Now you might think that the lyrics to "Ticky Tock" were inherently stupid.
And maybe they were.
But so were many hit records at the time.
What was more inherently stupid than "Ooh ee, ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang"?
Not much, but at least it had an ending.
Ticky Tock's lack of one did not stop at least one shifty entrepreneur from getting Debbie and Diane's mothers to part with a significant amount of cash to see their budding geniuses handiwork wind up on the hit parade.
It never did.
But it has lived on in our memories.
Whenever my wife, or my sister, or I say a sentence that ends in the word "clock"
One of the others can be counted on saying "...said 'Ticky Tock'?"
My sister, when she was eight, actually came up with an absolutely appropriate ending to "Ticky Tock"
She sang "So I looked at the clock, said 'Ticky Tock", and started all over again."
This was to the tune of "Pick myself up, dust myself off..."
Pretty hip for an eight year old.
Next time I'll offer up my two cents plain on the actual production of NBC's "The Sound of Music",
which I saw a few days ago
Be on the lookout for it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
That's not what I am referring to here.
I mentioned after seeing the preview to "The Sound of Music" that there were charlatans in the Metropolitan area of New York who took advantage of kids in our neighborhood, convincing their starstruck mothers that their kids had the talent to send them into the stratosphere, if only they had a little coaching, which these crooks would provide.
This led to the mass auditions and rejections of these moppets for the original production of "The Sound of Music", which starred Mary Martin.
But there were other charlatans out there.
Those who took advantage of very young little "composers and lyricists", convincing them that for a fairly hefty fee, they could get their compositions published and recorded by major artists of the time.
Two such "composers and lyricists", actually I don't know who contributed what, were these two ten-year-olds named Debbie and Diane.
Their composition, which we in the neighborhood heard incessantly, was a little ditty called "Ticky Tock".
As I'm sure they had never heard of Woody Guthrie, and since I have heard his "Ticky Tock", I can assure you that they were not the same song.
I will attempt to recreate Debbie and Diane's "Ticky Tock" as best I can, considering that you can't hear the music on paper:
"When my baby left me,
I didn't know what to
do
oo
oo
ooh
When my baby left me, I was sad and
blue
oo
oo
ooh
So I looked at the clock, said "Ticky Tock"
Ticky Tah
ah
ah
ock
When my baby left me.....(and then the whole thing was repeated. Over and over.)
It never ended.
It was a song without end.
It's like it was on a loop.
Now you might think that the lyrics to "Ticky Tock" were inherently stupid.
And maybe they were.
But so were many hit records at the time.
What was more inherently stupid than "Ooh ee, ooh ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang"?
Not much, but at least it had an ending.
Ticky Tock's lack of one did not stop at least one shifty entrepreneur from getting Debbie and Diane's mothers to part with a significant amount of cash to see their budding geniuses handiwork wind up on the hit parade.
It never did.
But it has lived on in our memories.
Whenever my wife, or my sister, or I say a sentence that ends in the word "clock"
One of the others can be counted on saying "...said 'Ticky Tock'?"
My sister, when she was eight, actually came up with an absolutely appropriate ending to "Ticky Tock"
She sang "So I looked at the clock, said 'Ticky Tock", and started all over again."
This was to the tune of "Pick myself up, dust myself off..."
Pretty hip for an eight year old.
Next time I'll offer up my two cents plain on the actual production of NBC's "The Sound of Music",
which I saw a few days ago
Be on the lookout for it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
The Gift That Was Nelson Mandela.
I know.
I said I'd be writing about more charlatans exploiting the "talents" of the kid in my neighborhood in 1959. And I will.
But in the interim, Nelson Mandela died.
He was truly one of the great men.
And he lived a full 95 years.
All right.
So half of them were taken away from him by locking him up in prison.
But how many of us get 95 years and all that acclaim when you're still alive?
And he deserved all of the tributes he got on all of the Sunday "talking heads" shows.
As a result, he posthumously provided me a gift that I'll be eternally grateful for.
See, when this occurred, I was in severe Tivo overload.
Both HBO and Showtime had two boxing events that occupied over eight hours of Tivo space.
This was on Friday and Saturday night.
Each night took up eight hours..
And on Sunday, there was going to be seven hours of NFL Red Zone Football.
Plus the NFL Sunday Night Game, for which I had to set another five hours.
Plus all the Sunday" talking heads" shows: "This Week with George Stephanopoulis", "Meet The Press", and "Face The Nation".
Well, not all. I don't make any effort to watch or record "Fox News Sunday".
And my Tivo was pretty much clogged before all of this programming took place.
Now, I don't know about you, but I watch the "talking heads" shows for one reason, and one reason only:
For the arguments.
I want to see Democrats and Republicans going at each others' throats.
But because of Mandela dying when he did, it turned all those "talking heads" shows into tributes and love fests for Mandela for more than half their collective allotted time.
Some even more.
By all sides.
Yes, I know that Bill O'Reilly took this opportunity to stick to his guns and call Mandela a Communist.
But that wasn't on Sunday, and I don't watch him anyway.
Even Ted Cruz had kind words for Mandela.
And it's come back to bite him in the nuts with his base.
And now, the partisan rifts have opened up all over the place.
The point is that I don't watch the Sunday "talking heads" shows to see tributes, and everybody agreeing with each other.
So I was able to zip through at least half of the content of all those Sunday talk shows.
This gave me the security to know that I was not going to even approach my Tivo limit.
I actually reached Tivo solvency.
With Nelson Mandela's help.
I wish he could have been around to see it.
In any case, he has made me eternally grateful.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
I said I'd be writing about more charlatans exploiting the "talents" of the kid in my neighborhood in 1959. And I will.
But in the interim, Nelson Mandela died.
He was truly one of the great men.
And he lived a full 95 years.
All right.
So half of them were taken away from him by locking him up in prison.
But how many of us get 95 years and all that acclaim when you're still alive?
And he deserved all of the tributes he got on all of the Sunday "talking heads" shows.
As a result, he posthumously provided me a gift that I'll be eternally grateful for.
See, when this occurred, I was in severe Tivo overload.
Both HBO and Showtime had two boxing events that occupied over eight hours of Tivo space.
This was on Friday and Saturday night.
Each night took up eight hours..
And on Sunday, there was going to be seven hours of NFL Red Zone Football.
Plus the NFL Sunday Night Game, for which I had to set another five hours.
Plus all the Sunday" talking heads" shows: "This Week with George Stephanopoulis", "Meet The Press", and "Face The Nation".
Well, not all. I don't make any effort to watch or record "Fox News Sunday".
And my Tivo was pretty much clogged before all of this programming took place.
Now, I don't know about you, but I watch the "talking heads" shows for one reason, and one reason only:
For the arguments.
I want to see Democrats and Republicans going at each others' throats.
But because of Mandela dying when he did, it turned all those "talking heads" shows into tributes and love fests for Mandela for more than half their collective allotted time.
Some even more.
By all sides.
Yes, I know that Bill O'Reilly took this opportunity to stick to his guns and call Mandela a Communist.
But that wasn't on Sunday, and I don't watch him anyway.
Even Ted Cruz had kind words for Mandela.
And it's come back to bite him in the nuts with his base.
And now, the partisan rifts have opened up all over the place.
The point is that I don't watch the Sunday "talking heads" shows to see tributes, and everybody agreeing with each other.
So I was able to zip through at least half of the content of all those Sunday talk shows.
This gave me the security to know that I was not going to even approach my Tivo limit.
I actually reached Tivo solvency.
With Nelson Mandela's help.
I wish he could have been around to see it.
In any case, he has made me eternally grateful.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Friday, November 29, 2013
There's Johnny. 4.
Okay.
Cut to: seventeen years later.
I am in my "Odd Couple" office on the second floor of building H on the Paramount lot.
Downstairs, offices were set up for Carson Productions, Johnny's production company.
On my way to lunch, every day, I'd pass by the Carson Productions offices.
Never seeing hide nor hair of Johnny.
Months into the process, as I was headed for the commissary, I passed right by the entrance door to Carson Productions, and coming out of it, big as life itself, was Johnny.
This was a rare sighting.
He almost never came to his production office.
I figured that I had a story to tell him that he might find interesting and amusing.
So I engaged him in conversation, told him about the time when I was an eleven year old fetus and I asked him for his autograph and presented him with my mother's torn envelope and stubby pencil, and he, upon receiving these items, replied "....neat!"
I thought I told it rather engagingly.
He seemed interested.
He seemed amused.
He seemed very much like Johnny Carson.
He was very pleasant about it.
I came back from lunch.
Johnny was long gone.
A couple of hours later, one of Johnny's production company assistants, who knew me, and from Johnny's description had no trouble putting two and two together, confronted me.
"You talked to Johnny, didn't you?!"
I admitted that I had.
"Well, you know what it is that you did?!"
I had to admit that I didn't.
"You just simply depressed the hell out of Johnny! That's what you did!"
At that moment, I searched my soul, and couldn't for the life of me figure out what I could have said that would have depressed the hell out of Johnny.
She continued----"Here you are, this fully grown adult (She was being kind. I was a fully overgrown adult.), and you tell him how you asked him for his autograph when you were a child! (I almost corrected her and said "fetus", but in the state she was in, I didn't think that would help.) You made him feel ancient! Like he was a hundred years old!"
All I could say was that it was certainly not my intent to do that.
And I figured, however famous I'd ever become, I'd blown the only chance I ever had to appear on "The Tonight Show"
My best shot would be one of those nights that David Brenner was hosting.
In reference to my father appearing on "Who Do You Trust?", a couple of ironies:
Four years later from about 1963 to 1966,, my father became Johnny's limo driver on the Tonight Show.
"Who Do You Trust" had never been brought up again.
And a couple of years after that, he did most of the limousine work for The Merv Griffin Show, which was broadcast from the Little Theatre on 44th Street, where "Who Do You Trust" had been broadcast from.
Show business can be a small town.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Cut to: seventeen years later.
I am in my "Odd Couple" office on the second floor of building H on the Paramount lot.
Downstairs, offices were set up for Carson Productions, Johnny's production company.
On my way to lunch, every day, I'd pass by the Carson Productions offices.
Never seeing hide nor hair of Johnny.
Months into the process, as I was headed for the commissary, I passed right by the entrance door to Carson Productions, and coming out of it, big as life itself, was Johnny.
This was a rare sighting.
He almost never came to his production office.
I figured that I had a story to tell him that he might find interesting and amusing.
So I engaged him in conversation, told him about the time when I was an eleven year old fetus and I asked him for his autograph and presented him with my mother's torn envelope and stubby pencil, and he, upon receiving these items, replied "....neat!"
I thought I told it rather engagingly.
He seemed interested.
He seemed amused.
He seemed very much like Johnny Carson.
He was very pleasant about it.
I came back from lunch.
Johnny was long gone.
A couple of hours later, one of Johnny's production company assistants, who knew me, and from Johnny's description had no trouble putting two and two together, confronted me.
"You talked to Johnny, didn't you?!"
I admitted that I had.
"Well, you know what it is that you did?!"
I had to admit that I didn't.
"You just simply depressed the hell out of Johnny! That's what you did!"
At that moment, I searched my soul, and couldn't for the life of me figure out what I could have said that would have depressed the hell out of Johnny.
She continued----"Here you are, this fully grown adult (She was being kind. I was a fully overgrown adult.), and you tell him how you asked him for his autograph when you were a child! (I almost corrected her and said "fetus", but in the state she was in, I didn't think that would help.) You made him feel ancient! Like he was a hundred years old!"
All I could say was that it was certainly not my intent to do that.
And I figured, however famous I'd ever become, I'd blown the only chance I ever had to appear on "The Tonight Show"
My best shot would be one of those nights that David Brenner was hosting.
In reference to my father appearing on "Who Do You Trust?", a couple of ironies:
Four years later from about 1963 to 1966,, my father became Johnny's limo driver on the Tonight Show.
"Who Do You Trust" had never been brought up again.
And a couple of years after that, he did most of the limousine work for The Merv Griffin Show, which was broadcast from the Little Theatre on 44th Street, where "Who Do You Trust" had been broadcast from.
Show business can be a small town.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
There's Johnny. 3.
Okay.
I left off on this one telling you about my approaching Johnny Carson at the foot of the stage at the Little Theatre on 44th Street, just off Times Square, in 1959, with my crummy torn envelope, and my stubby pencil, to get his autograph. And Johnny, taking one look at what he was being handed, and saying to a couple of his staff members ".....neat!"
This, of course, left an indelible mark on me, as it would on any eleven year old.
Meanwhile, my mother was mercilessly schmoozing the interviewers, in the best Willy Loman tradition, to get herself booked as a contestant on Johnny's game show, "Who Do You Trust?"
Well, she won the day.
She was asked to come back, with my father, in exactly one week, so they could appear as contestants.
My father had no problem skipping work, as he was a cab driver who was on strike.
This was why they were booked.
My father was topical.
At least in New York, where the cab drivers were on strike.
They wanted a reaction from a typical New York cabbie.
A crude reaction from a typical New York cabbie.
What's the opposite of the word ""non-plussed""?
I guess it's "plussed"
That described my mother.
She was plussed.
She had done all the grunt work to get them booked on the show, and they were only interested in my father.
It didn't go down too well.
They asked me if I wanted to come along.
That's roughly akin to asking me if I wanted to continue breathing.
So I was there, one week later, backstage at the Little Theatre on 44th Street, just off Times Square.
From the moment the invitation by the show was extended until the following week, my mother watched the show religiously the following Monday through Thursday, as it was broadcast live on ABC at 3:30pm.
She had a vested interest.
The couple that won the most money in the quiz every day had a chance at the Jackpot Question.
The Jackpot Question started out at $200.
An additional $100 was added every day until somebody won the jackpot.
It was a scrambled name anagram game.
Usually pretty easy.
Easy enough for my mother to nail it every day.
But for some reason, everyone kept missing it, allowing the jackpot to build and build.
I'll never forget watching the show on TV that Thursday.
The day before my parents were to make their appearance.
The jackpot was $3100.
Enormous money for an afternoon quiz show in those days.
You never saw anyone rooting for people to fail as much as my mother did when that Thursday couple missed the $3100 question.
This caused my mother, to create a self-composed ditty called "We've Got a Chance", polka'd and mamboed, and cha-cha'd, and Rocketted around the house.
Of course, they'd still have to beat out the other couples, but for my mother, as smart as she thought she was, this was already a done deal.
So we get to the Little Theatre around noon on Friday, and my parents were immediately handed scripts to learn.
This was not to be an ad lib interview.
We learned that this was standard procedure on this show..
As we had heard that it was standard procedure on "You Bet Your Life", Groucho Marx's quiz show.
My parents were there to basically play straight for Johnny, who had most of the snappers.
I suppose that's fair.
It WAS his show.
My mother was non-plussed by this.
She was plussed when she realized that my father had most of the lines.
All that fine acting that my mother had put into those P.T.A. Show appearances that she had made was going down the sewie hole.
But she was powerless to do anything about it.
My father was a bit plussed when he was asked to overdo his New York accent, and sound less educated than he was, which wasn't much in the first place.
But he was a good sport about it.
After all, there was a potential $3200 to be made that day.
The show started, the first couple came on and tanked in their quiz.
Then my parents came on, my father did his crude cabbie, set up Johnny very well, and then my father singlehandedly nailed the quiz.
My mother stood there, doing her best impression of a frozen guppy.
Although uneducated, my father was very well read.
He did the New York Sunday Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.
Sometimes, just to show off, he did it in India Ink.
So he was quite knowledgeable.
The third couple didn't stand a chance.
Thus, my parents were headed for the jackpot question.
$3200..
They revealed the board for them. It read DR H CLEAN.
The clue was "former governor".
They stared at it.
As did I.
None of us had a clue.
Time was up.
Johnny had to tell them the answer: Chandler.
You know---the former baseball commissioner. Happy Chandler.
The man almost as responsible as Branch Rickey for getting Jackie Robinson into the major leagues.
"Former governor". What a crappy clue. How about "former baseball commissioner"?
No. Then they might have had to give away the money.
So my parents went home with the $280 they won in the quiz.
But no $3200.
There were no polkas that night.
No mambos.
No cha-chas.
No Rocketting.
Not even a gavotte.
Nothin'.
Next time, my final encounter with Johnny, some seventeen years later.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
.
I left off on this one telling you about my approaching Johnny Carson at the foot of the stage at the Little Theatre on 44th Street, just off Times Square, in 1959, with my crummy torn envelope, and my stubby pencil, to get his autograph. And Johnny, taking one look at what he was being handed, and saying to a couple of his staff members ".....neat!"
This, of course, left an indelible mark on me, as it would on any eleven year old.
Meanwhile, my mother was mercilessly schmoozing the interviewers, in the best Willy Loman tradition, to get herself booked as a contestant on Johnny's game show, "Who Do You Trust?"
Well, she won the day.
She was asked to come back, with my father, in exactly one week, so they could appear as contestants.
My father had no problem skipping work, as he was a cab driver who was on strike.
This was why they were booked.
My father was topical.
At least in New York, where the cab drivers were on strike.
They wanted a reaction from a typical New York cabbie.
A crude reaction from a typical New York cabbie.
What's the opposite of the word ""non-plussed""?
I guess it's "plussed"
That described my mother.
She was plussed.
She had done all the grunt work to get them booked on the show, and they were only interested in my father.
It didn't go down too well.
They asked me if I wanted to come along.
That's roughly akin to asking me if I wanted to continue breathing.
So I was there, one week later, backstage at the Little Theatre on 44th Street, just off Times Square.
From the moment the invitation by the show was extended until the following week, my mother watched the show religiously the following Monday through Thursday, as it was broadcast live on ABC at 3:30pm.
She had a vested interest.
The couple that won the most money in the quiz every day had a chance at the Jackpot Question.
The Jackpot Question started out at $200.
An additional $100 was added every day until somebody won the jackpot.
It was a scrambled name anagram game.
Usually pretty easy.
Easy enough for my mother to nail it every day.
But for some reason, everyone kept missing it, allowing the jackpot to build and build.
I'll never forget watching the show on TV that Thursday.
The day before my parents were to make their appearance.
The jackpot was $3100.
Enormous money for an afternoon quiz show in those days.
You never saw anyone rooting for people to fail as much as my mother did when that Thursday couple missed the $3100 question.
This caused my mother, to create a self-composed ditty called "We've Got a Chance", polka'd and mamboed, and cha-cha'd, and Rocketted around the house.
Of course, they'd still have to beat out the other couples, but for my mother, as smart as she thought she was, this was already a done deal.
So we get to the Little Theatre around noon on Friday, and my parents were immediately handed scripts to learn.
This was not to be an ad lib interview.
We learned that this was standard procedure on this show..
As we had heard that it was standard procedure on "You Bet Your Life", Groucho Marx's quiz show.
My parents were there to basically play straight for Johnny, who had most of the snappers.
I suppose that's fair.
It WAS his show.
My mother was non-plussed by this.
She was plussed when she realized that my father had most of the lines.
All that fine acting that my mother had put into those P.T.A. Show appearances that she had made was going down the sewie hole.
But she was powerless to do anything about it.
My father was a bit plussed when he was asked to overdo his New York accent, and sound less educated than he was, which wasn't much in the first place.
But he was a good sport about it.
After all, there was a potential $3200 to be made that day.
The show started, the first couple came on and tanked in their quiz.
Then my parents came on, my father did his crude cabbie, set up Johnny very well, and then my father singlehandedly nailed the quiz.
My mother stood there, doing her best impression of a frozen guppy.
Although uneducated, my father was very well read.
He did the New York Sunday Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.
Sometimes, just to show off, he did it in India Ink.
So he was quite knowledgeable.
The third couple didn't stand a chance.
Thus, my parents were headed for the jackpot question.
$3200..
They revealed the board for them. It read DR H CLEAN.
The clue was "former governor".
They stared at it.
As did I.
None of us had a clue.
Time was up.
Johnny had to tell them the answer: Chandler.
You know---the former baseball commissioner. Happy Chandler.
The man almost as responsible as Branch Rickey for getting Jackie Robinson into the major leagues.
"Former governor". What a crappy clue. How about "former baseball commissioner"?
No. Then they might have had to give away the money.
So my parents went home with the $280 they won in the quiz.
But no $3200.
There were no polkas that night.
No mambos.
No cha-chas.
No Rocketting.
Not even a gavotte.
Nothin'.
Next time, my final encounter with Johnny, some seventeen years later.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Where I Was Then, Where I Am Now.
As we are arriving at the 150th anniversary of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, and the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination, I'm starting to feel a little foolish devoting this day to the story of my parents appearing on "Who Do You Trust?" with Johnny Carson.
I think that can probably wait until next week.
The only thing that stood in my way was that I didn't think I had anything to add to the discussion of these momentous events.
I'm half right.
As far as the Gettysburg Address is concerned, I got nuthin'.
I mean, who am I, Doris Kearns Goodwin?
And I didn't think I had much to add about the JFK assassination, until very recently.
Where was I when I heard the news?
I was home from my senior year in High School.
I has early session, which meant that I was home by about 1:30pm, and already planted in front of my TV.
I was watching the Least Objectionable Programming: a rerun of the sitcom "Bachelor Father", which was being shown by the NBC affiliate.
No "As the World Turns" for me.
They broke into the show at about 1:40pm with the bulletin.
But it wasn't Walter Cronkite.
I didn't see what he did until years later.
I got the news from NBC stalwarts Frank McGee and Chet Huntley.
Nothing out of the ordinary here.
In my college days, after the assassination, I was a pretty rabid conspiracy nut.
The rabble rousing author of "Rush To Judgment", Mark Lane, appeared to give a lecture at my Alma Mammy, Queens College.
And he certainly roused some rabble.
Between Jim Garrison, Mort Sahl, and Oliver Stone, I developed a major rooting interest that Oswald was framed, and there were conspiracies right and left, literally.
I was not exactly open-minded.
I bought in.
But after a long while, trying to re-open my mind, I realized that these folks had at least as much of an axe to grind as those, like Vincent Bugliosi, and the Warren Commission, also had to prove that Oswald was the only shooter.
As a result, I can't really put much stock in the ""Oswald was the lone gunman" theory, just as I can't put much stock in the "Oswald may not have been involved at all" theory.
I recently watched a documentary called "JFK: The Smoking Gun", which put forth the theory that Oswald was on the sixth floor of the School Depository Building, fired at Kennedy, but probably didn't deliver the fatal shot.
The crux of this case is that from all audio recordings of the event, and from overwhelming eyewitness testimony, the time between the second and third shots was almost instantaneous.
This precludes Oswald having the time to take the third shot.
So somebody else had to do it.
This one point has, to my knowledge, not been refuted.
This is the cake upon which icing can perhaps be applied.
The icing has taken the form of many eyewitnesses smelling powder burns on ground level, a Secret Service Agent in the car behind JFK, wielding a more explosive rifle in the direction of JFK, with pictures to back it up.
It was put forth that this was most-likely an accident, but still threatening to be a major embarrassment to the Secret Service.
The autopsy in Dallas was botched because the Secret Service made every effort to prevent the doctors from performing it.
Witnesses claimed that it was all very suspicious.
So while it seems that the jury is still out as to whether there was a conspiracy to kill JFK, there seems to be very little doubt that there was a conspiracy by the Secret Service to cover up what actually happened, which was certainly less than flattering.
When confronted with this theory, Vincent Bugliosi wielded his axe by saying that the Secret Service
agent sued the author of the book that the documentary was based on, and it was settled out of court.
As if that was an admission of guilt by the author.
The other side of that coin is if the Secret Service agent had such a good case, why did he settle?
Settlements cut both ways and prove nothing.
That was all that Bugliosi had.
He had nothing to refute that the second and third shots coming into too rapid a succession.
This theory is certainly less glamorous than anything involving intrigue.
So my mind is open enough to accept the "Smoking Gun" theory purely because I haven't heard anything that makes more sense on that one issue.
And I haven't heard any kind of a strong case to indicate that Oswald wasn't involved
If I do, I'm more than happy to reconsider everything.
It makes all sorts of sense that Oswald was directly involved, at least in the attempted murder of JFK.
After that, it seems to be all conjecture.
But to stamp it "Case Closed" truly seems to be premature.
If anything should welcome comments, it should be this article.
Next time, back to "Who Do You Trust?", for which I'll do a bit of a recap to remind you folks of where I left off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
I think that can probably wait until next week.
The only thing that stood in my way was that I didn't think I had anything to add to the discussion of these momentous events.
I'm half right.
As far as the Gettysburg Address is concerned, I got nuthin'.
I mean, who am I, Doris Kearns Goodwin?
And I didn't think I had much to add about the JFK assassination, until very recently.
Where was I when I heard the news?
I was home from my senior year in High School.
I has early session, which meant that I was home by about 1:30pm, and already planted in front of my TV.
I was watching the Least Objectionable Programming: a rerun of the sitcom "Bachelor Father", which was being shown by the NBC affiliate.
No "As the World Turns" for me.
They broke into the show at about 1:40pm with the bulletin.
But it wasn't Walter Cronkite.
I didn't see what he did until years later.
I got the news from NBC stalwarts Frank McGee and Chet Huntley.
Nothing out of the ordinary here.
In my college days, after the assassination, I was a pretty rabid conspiracy nut.
The rabble rousing author of "Rush To Judgment", Mark Lane, appeared to give a lecture at my Alma Mammy, Queens College.
And he certainly roused some rabble.
Between Jim Garrison, Mort Sahl, and Oliver Stone, I developed a major rooting interest that Oswald was framed, and there were conspiracies right and left, literally.
I was not exactly open-minded.
I bought in.
But after a long while, trying to re-open my mind, I realized that these folks had at least as much of an axe to grind as those, like Vincent Bugliosi, and the Warren Commission, also had to prove that Oswald was the only shooter.
As a result, I can't really put much stock in the ""Oswald was the lone gunman" theory, just as I can't put much stock in the "Oswald may not have been involved at all" theory.
I recently watched a documentary called "JFK: The Smoking Gun", which put forth the theory that Oswald was on the sixth floor of the School Depository Building, fired at Kennedy, but probably didn't deliver the fatal shot.
The crux of this case is that from all audio recordings of the event, and from overwhelming eyewitness testimony, the time between the second and third shots was almost instantaneous.
This precludes Oswald having the time to take the third shot.
So somebody else had to do it.
This one point has, to my knowledge, not been refuted.
This is the cake upon which icing can perhaps be applied.
The icing has taken the form of many eyewitnesses smelling powder burns on ground level, a Secret Service Agent in the car behind JFK, wielding a more explosive rifle in the direction of JFK, with pictures to back it up.
It was put forth that this was most-likely an accident, but still threatening to be a major embarrassment to the Secret Service.
The autopsy in Dallas was botched because the Secret Service made every effort to prevent the doctors from performing it.
Witnesses claimed that it was all very suspicious.
So while it seems that the jury is still out as to whether there was a conspiracy to kill JFK, there seems to be very little doubt that there was a conspiracy by the Secret Service to cover up what actually happened, which was certainly less than flattering.
When confronted with this theory, Vincent Bugliosi wielded his axe by saying that the Secret Service
agent sued the author of the book that the documentary was based on, and it was settled out of court.
As if that was an admission of guilt by the author.
The other side of that coin is if the Secret Service agent had such a good case, why did he settle?
Settlements cut both ways and prove nothing.
That was all that Bugliosi had.
He had nothing to refute that the second and third shots coming into too rapid a succession.
This theory is certainly less glamorous than anything involving intrigue.
So my mind is open enough to accept the "Smoking Gun" theory purely because I haven't heard anything that makes more sense on that one issue.
And I haven't heard any kind of a strong case to indicate that Oswald wasn't involved
If I do, I'm more than happy to reconsider everything.
It makes all sorts of sense that Oswald was directly involved, at least in the attempted murder of JFK.
After that, it seems to be all conjecture.
But to stamp it "Case Closed" truly seems to be premature.
If anything should welcome comments, it should be this article.
Next time, back to "Who Do You Trust?", for which I'll do a bit of a recap to remind you folks of where I left off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
There's Johnny. 2.
I've had a few personal encounters with Johnny Carson over the years.
The first one was in the summer of 1959.
I'll help you with the math.
I was eleven years old.
Fairly tall for an eleven-year-old, but still an eleven-year old.
This pretty much translates to: I was a fetus.
My mother took me to a live afternoon broadcast of the game show "Who Do You Trust?"
"Who Do You Trust?" was hosted by Johnny.
The show was done at the Little Theater on 44th Street, near Times Square, right next to the big
St. James Theatre on 44th Street.
The musical "Flower Drum Song" was playing at the St. James.
The things you remember.....
Ed McMahon had already been broken in as Johnny's announcer, and told the studio audience that if anyone would like to apply to be a contestant, to stick around for an interview after the broadcast.
Being the uncured and incurable ham that my mother was, she already began planning to apply.
As a contestant.....and applying an extra ton of makeup on an already made up face.
She figured that she would recruit my father, whether he wanted to be recruited or not, because
"Who Do You Trust" required couples.
The show ended, and my mother was attempting her mad dash from the balcony, where we were seated, to the lower level, to be interviewed.
I noticed that Johnny sat at the foot of the stage, graciously signing autographs.
I suddenly got my Jones on to get Johnny's autograph.
But, not being a writer yet, I did not have the requisite pen and paper needed to accomplish my mission.
This was a classic case of my mother having bigger fish to fry, and not wanting to be bothered.
But she indulged me.
At least to the point of giving me a pencil that barely had a point, and handing me an envelope that had already had some writing on it.
She at least took the time to tear off the part of the envelope that had the writing on it, and hand me the rest.
I, being a fetus, saw nothing wrong with this arrangement.
My mother went down for her interview, and she was selling like crazy.
And for whatever reason, they were buying.
It all had to do with the fact that my father was a cab driver, and at that precise moment, the New York City cab drivers were on strike.
So Mother and Dad were topical.
Meanwhile, I was waiting my turn patiently in line to get Johnny's autograph.
Finally, it was my turn.
I handed Johnny my pencil that barely had a point, and the torn piece of envelope.
Johnny, surrounded by a couple of female members of his staff, did one of his now famous takes, and summed up the situation with one word, as he smirked ".....neat!"
I was at least unfetus-like to realize that I had experienced utter humiliation.
By a master.
Next time, backstage at 'Who Do You Trust?", as my father went on to attempt to represent the cab drivers of New York City, and attempt to win lots o' money for all concerned.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
The first one was in the summer of 1959.
I'll help you with the math.
I was eleven years old.
Fairly tall for an eleven-year-old, but still an eleven-year old.
This pretty much translates to: I was a fetus.
My mother took me to a live afternoon broadcast of the game show "Who Do You Trust?"
"Who Do You Trust?" was hosted by Johnny.
The show was done at the Little Theater on 44th Street, near Times Square, right next to the big
St. James Theatre on 44th Street.
The musical "Flower Drum Song" was playing at the St. James.
The things you remember.....
Ed McMahon had already been broken in as Johnny's announcer, and told the studio audience that if anyone would like to apply to be a contestant, to stick around for an interview after the broadcast.
Being the uncured and incurable ham that my mother was, she already began planning to apply.
As a contestant.....and applying an extra ton of makeup on an already made up face.
She figured that she would recruit my father, whether he wanted to be recruited or not, because
"Who Do You Trust" required couples.
The show ended, and my mother was attempting her mad dash from the balcony, where we were seated, to the lower level, to be interviewed.
I noticed that Johnny sat at the foot of the stage, graciously signing autographs.
I suddenly got my Jones on to get Johnny's autograph.
But, not being a writer yet, I did not have the requisite pen and paper needed to accomplish my mission.
This was a classic case of my mother having bigger fish to fry, and not wanting to be bothered.
But she indulged me.
At least to the point of giving me a pencil that barely had a point, and handing me an envelope that had already had some writing on it.
She at least took the time to tear off the part of the envelope that had the writing on it, and hand me the rest.
I, being a fetus, saw nothing wrong with this arrangement.
My mother went down for her interview, and she was selling like crazy.
And for whatever reason, they were buying.
It all had to do with the fact that my father was a cab driver, and at that precise moment, the New York City cab drivers were on strike.
So Mother and Dad were topical.
Meanwhile, I was waiting my turn patiently in line to get Johnny's autograph.
Finally, it was my turn.
I handed Johnny my pencil that barely had a point, and the torn piece of envelope.
Johnny, surrounded by a couple of female members of his staff, did one of his now famous takes, and summed up the situation with one word, as he smirked ".....neat!"
I was at least unfetus-like to realize that I had experienced utter humiliation.
By a master.
Next time, backstage at 'Who Do You Trust?", as my father went on to attempt to represent the cab drivers of New York City, and attempt to win lots o' money for all concerned.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Friday, November 15, 2013
There's Johnny.
I've just recently finished reading the new biography of Johnny Carson, written by his former attorney, Henry "Bombastic" Bushkin.
As I began reading it, I also read Mark Evanier's comments on it on his blog.
He implied that it was rather self-serving, and didn't put Johnny in a particularly attractive light.
I tend to agree, but I think it might have been a little more complicated than that.
Mark mentioned that, although Bushkin had promised never to make public any of his dealings with Carson as long as Johnny was alive, apparently this promise did not extend to after Johnny's death, and that this seemed like Dirty Pool.
Perhaps it is.
That being said, I should point out that I found it to be a rather compelling read.
And I wasn't at all surprised at the portrait of Johnny painted by Bushkin.
It seemed to be an extension of the public perception that many of us have had of Johnny.
It was not necessarily unsympathetic towards him.
And Bushkin copped to some personal blame in the deterioration of their relationship.
He was somewhat self-effacing.
Where I found major fault with the book was in something Mark Evanier did not bring up.
Bushkin had no trouble whatsoever trashing almost all the women in Carson's life, and at least one in his own.
He did this with virtually effortless abandon.
And these women are still alive, all with very little recourse at their disposal.
He describes adulterous affairs that Johnny had with Ann-Margret, whose husband, Roger Smith, is still alive.
Ya think he'd like to read about this?
He describes his own onetime ongoing affair with Joyce DeWitt while he was still married.
D'ya think she likes the idea of being outed as being an accessory to adultery?
I checked the "Acknowledgements" section at the end of the book.
Joyce DeWitt was not acknowledged.
Nor were any of Carson's wives.
Bushkin also goes into a detailed story about how Johnny's second wife was having an ongoing affair with Frank Gifford while she and Johnny were still married.
Hasn't Frank Gifford had enough public grief on this score?
Did he really have to be outed by Bushkin?
Couldn't it have been left at "famous former football player"?
Yes.
I'm outing them now.
But Bushkin's book is on the New York Times Best Seller List.
I am but a mere drop of rain in the Atlantic Ocean in comparison.
What was it that Shakespeare said about lawyers?
I don't remember, but I know it wasn't good.
Maybe someone out there will remind me.
More about Johnny next time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
As I began reading it, I also read Mark Evanier's comments on it on his blog.
He implied that it was rather self-serving, and didn't put Johnny in a particularly attractive light.
I tend to agree, but I think it might have been a little more complicated than that.
Mark mentioned that, although Bushkin had promised never to make public any of his dealings with Carson as long as Johnny was alive, apparently this promise did not extend to after Johnny's death, and that this seemed like Dirty Pool.
Perhaps it is.
That being said, I should point out that I found it to be a rather compelling read.
And I wasn't at all surprised at the portrait of Johnny painted by Bushkin.
It seemed to be an extension of the public perception that many of us have had of Johnny.
It was not necessarily unsympathetic towards him.
And Bushkin copped to some personal blame in the deterioration of their relationship.
He was somewhat self-effacing.
Where I found major fault with the book was in something Mark Evanier did not bring up.
Bushkin had no trouble whatsoever trashing almost all the women in Carson's life, and at least one in his own.
He did this with virtually effortless abandon.
And these women are still alive, all with very little recourse at their disposal.
He describes adulterous affairs that Johnny had with Ann-Margret, whose husband, Roger Smith, is still alive.
Ya think he'd like to read about this?
He describes his own onetime ongoing affair with Joyce DeWitt while he was still married.
D'ya think she likes the idea of being outed as being an accessory to adultery?
I checked the "Acknowledgements" section at the end of the book.
Joyce DeWitt was not acknowledged.
Nor were any of Carson's wives.
Bushkin also goes into a detailed story about how Johnny's second wife was having an ongoing affair with Frank Gifford while she and Johnny were still married.
Hasn't Frank Gifford had enough public grief on this score?
Did he really have to be outed by Bushkin?
Couldn't it have been left at "famous former football player"?
Yes.
I'm outing them now.
But Bushkin's book is on the New York Times Best Seller List.
I am but a mere drop of rain in the Atlantic Ocean in comparison.
What was it that Shakespeare said about lawyers?
I don't remember, but I know it wasn't good.
Maybe someone out there will remind me.
More about Johnny next time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
This Year's Richie Cunningham.
Ron Howard, as we know, was the first-billed star on "Happy Days".
When "Happy Days went 3-camera live-audience, he very quickly turned into the first-billed star in name only.
Henry Winkler became the most important star on "Happy Days", as the show, which got okay ratings beforehand, suddenly went through the roof.
A very similar situation exists this year.
This and next week, barring anything earth-shattering, will be devoted to two Johnnies.
One is the subject of today's article.
He is Johnny Galecki, of "The Big Bang Theory"
The other Johnny is Johnny Carson, whose biography by Bombastic Bushkin I have just completed reading.
Okay. Johnny Galecki.
The parallels between him and Ron Howard are substantial, but far more gruesome.
As gruesome as it can be for someone pulling down as much of the big TV money as he is.
Johnny Galecki has always been the first-billed star of "The Big Bang Theory".
And Jim Parsons keeps winning well-deserved Emmys for it in the "Best Actor in a Comedy Series" category.
Jim Parsons acts rings around Johnny Galecki.
Jim Parsons acts rings around just about anybody.
Jim Parsons is the equivalent of "The Fonz"
Jim Parsons is the reason a lot of people watch "The Big Bang Theory".
Simon Helberg is a lot funnier than Johnny Galecki.
Kaley Cuoco is a lot funnier than Johnny Galecki.
Mayim Biyalik is a lot funnier than Johnny Galecki.
The actress who plays Simon Helberg's wife is much funnier than Johnny Galecki.
The Indian actor who plays Raj is much funnier than Johnny Galecki.
And they're all given a lot more funny things to do than Johnny Galecki.
This isn't to necessarily imply that Johnny Galecki isn't or can't be funny.
In previous years, he was, in fact, pretty funny.
But the series just doesn't seem to be going his way anymore.
When Ron Howard faced this situation, it really didn't bother him very much.
He was totally grounded, and was totally thrilled to be associated with a hit of "Happy Days"' magnitude.
Also, he kind of had one foot out the door, because he was seriously pursuing a directing career.
I have no idea what else Johnny Galecki might be pursuing, but whatever it is, it'll probably be an uphill climb.
Johnny Galecki, faced with this situation, DOES seem to be bothered very much.
He's appeared with Letterman a couple of times, and Dave, never missing an opportunity to go for the jugular, asked him how he felt about Jim Parsons walking off with all those Emmys.
Galecki seemed to be squirming in his seat whenever asked.
Ron Howard left "Happy Days" before it ended, and was not missed.
I'm pretty sure the same fate would befall Galecki if he left.
I don't know what his deal is, but if he could be dropped like a hot potato, and he caused the least bit of trouble about his situation, it could be the last we see of him.
Because as little an impact as he has made on the show, the show is so popular that it may have typecast him.
So it's probably in his best interests to at least appear to be a happy camper, because right now, he's in the most upscale camp on the planet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
When "Happy Days went 3-camera live-audience, he very quickly turned into the first-billed star in name only.
Henry Winkler became the most important star on "Happy Days", as the show, which got okay ratings beforehand, suddenly went through the roof.
A very similar situation exists this year.
This and next week, barring anything earth-shattering, will be devoted to two Johnnies.
One is the subject of today's article.
He is Johnny Galecki, of "The Big Bang Theory"
The other Johnny is Johnny Carson, whose biography by Bombastic Bushkin I have just completed reading.
Okay. Johnny Galecki.
The parallels between him and Ron Howard are substantial, but far more gruesome.
As gruesome as it can be for someone pulling down as much of the big TV money as he is.
Johnny Galecki has always been the first-billed star of "The Big Bang Theory".
And Jim Parsons keeps winning well-deserved Emmys for it in the "Best Actor in a Comedy Series" category.
Jim Parsons acts rings around Johnny Galecki.
Jim Parsons acts rings around just about anybody.
Jim Parsons is the equivalent of "The Fonz"
Jim Parsons is the reason a lot of people watch "The Big Bang Theory".
Simon Helberg is a lot funnier than Johnny Galecki.
Kaley Cuoco is a lot funnier than Johnny Galecki.
Mayim Biyalik is a lot funnier than Johnny Galecki.
The actress who plays Simon Helberg's wife is much funnier than Johnny Galecki.
The Indian actor who plays Raj is much funnier than Johnny Galecki.
And they're all given a lot more funny things to do than Johnny Galecki.
This isn't to necessarily imply that Johnny Galecki isn't or can't be funny.
In previous years, he was, in fact, pretty funny.
But the series just doesn't seem to be going his way anymore.
When Ron Howard faced this situation, it really didn't bother him very much.
He was totally grounded, and was totally thrilled to be associated with a hit of "Happy Days"' magnitude.
Also, he kind of had one foot out the door, because he was seriously pursuing a directing career.
I have no idea what else Johnny Galecki might be pursuing, but whatever it is, it'll probably be an uphill climb.
Johnny Galecki, faced with this situation, DOES seem to be bothered very much.
He's appeared with Letterman a couple of times, and Dave, never missing an opportunity to go for the jugular, asked him how he felt about Jim Parsons walking off with all those Emmys.
Galecki seemed to be squirming in his seat whenever asked.
Ron Howard left "Happy Days" before it ended, and was not missed.
I'm pretty sure the same fate would befall Galecki if he left.
I don't know what his deal is, but if he could be dropped like a hot potato, and he caused the least bit of trouble about his situation, it could be the last we see of him.
Because as little an impact as he has made on the show, the show is so popular that it may have typecast him.
So it's probably in his best interests to at least appear to be a happy camper, because right now, he's in the most upscale camp on the planet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, November 7, 2013
The Lord Mayor Of The Idiots.
I referred to myself a while back as the Lord of the Idiots when I wrote about thinking my rental car was stolen and calling the police when I was in L.A.
And it turned out that it was there, right in front of me, light grey when I thought it was black.
Continuing in that tradition, I just completed a series of articles about ending my idiotic addiction to "Saturday Night Live".
But I didn't feel that it was worthy of awarding me any new royal titles.
Then, today, something happened that I consider to be "royal title worthy".
The Triple Crown, or the Hat Trick, as it were.
And the title that I've chosen for myself is "Lord Mayor of the Idiots".
This does not mean that I have to forego my first title.
I can, with no trouble at all, carry one on each shoulder.
This morning, my wife asked me to bring my computer in from our bedroom to the kitchen, where her computer was.
She wanted to sync it up to hers in some fashion.
Me: Do I have to? It means unplugging and replugging everything.
She: What are you talking about? It'll just take a few minutes. You've got to have enough battery life for that.
Me: I don't have ANY battery life.
She: What do you mean, you don't have any battery life?
Me: Just what I said. This computer doesn't have any battery life.
She: You just got this computer three months ago. Why wouldn't it have any battery life?
Me: I don't know, but it doesn't.
She: What happens when you remove the power cord?
Me: There's no power. It goes to black, and stays that way. Until I put the power cord back in.
She: Well...that's not supposed to happen.
Me: I didn't think so either. But it does.
She: I think you should call your Technical Support people. They should straighten this out. You should have battery life.
The point was well made. I called my technical support people, who also had sold me the computer.
I immediately went on offense.
Me: (Once the amenities and the security clearances were out of the way) I have no battery life on this thing that you sold me!
Them: (After taking control of my computer, in their Indian accents, and running a series of tests) We don't detect any battery connected to the computer. Turn it over and see if there is one installed.
I oblige, and immediately notice that there is, in fact, no battery installed. Only a space where the battery would BE installed.
Me: There is none installed. It looks like you never sent me one.
Them: And you're just noticing this now?
Me: I never had to use the battery before this.
Them: You never wanted to?
Me: I wanted to, but I just assumed the damned thing had no battery life. There wasn't anything else in the box.
Them: Are you sure?
Me: Fortunately, I have the box right here in front of me. (For whatever reason, I hadn't thrown the box away.)
Them: Why don't you look to see if it's in there?
Me: Okay. I'll humor you, but it's not in there.
I opened the box.
I didn't see no goddamn battery.
Me: I don't see no goddamn battery! Send me a battery!
Them: Look closer.
Me: Okay. I'll humor you again. I'll look closer.
I looked closer. In the inner corner, I saw a little cardboard oblong. I opened it. There was the battery.
I suppose that would have been enough to add to my royal title, but then, it took me a good fifteen minutes to figure out how to install it properly.
It wouldn't fit, and of course, I then blamed them for sending me the wrong battery.
All it took to install it right was to close the lid on the laptop.
It then installed like a dream.
I then apologized profusely, but the guy couldn't hear me.
He was too busy laughing.
And I'm sure he told the whole office about the Lord Mayor of the Idiots, or perhaps the Maharajah of the Idiots, who didn't know he didn't have a battery.
And then they all went home and told the story to their families over their curry-filled dinners.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
And it turned out that it was there, right in front of me, light grey when I thought it was black.
Continuing in that tradition, I just completed a series of articles about ending my idiotic addiction to "Saturday Night Live".
But I didn't feel that it was worthy of awarding me any new royal titles.
Then, today, something happened that I consider to be "royal title worthy".
The Triple Crown, or the Hat Trick, as it were.
And the title that I've chosen for myself is "Lord Mayor of the Idiots".
This does not mean that I have to forego my first title.
I can, with no trouble at all, carry one on each shoulder.
This morning, my wife asked me to bring my computer in from our bedroom to the kitchen, where her computer was.
She wanted to sync it up to hers in some fashion.
Me: Do I have to? It means unplugging and replugging everything.
She: What are you talking about? It'll just take a few minutes. You've got to have enough battery life for that.
Me: I don't have ANY battery life.
She: What do you mean, you don't have any battery life?
Me: Just what I said. This computer doesn't have any battery life.
She: You just got this computer three months ago. Why wouldn't it have any battery life?
Me: I don't know, but it doesn't.
She: What happens when you remove the power cord?
Me: There's no power. It goes to black, and stays that way. Until I put the power cord back in.
She: Well...that's not supposed to happen.
Me: I didn't think so either. But it does.
She: I think you should call your Technical Support people. They should straighten this out. You should have battery life.
The point was well made. I called my technical support people, who also had sold me the computer.
I immediately went on offense.
Me: (Once the amenities and the security clearances were out of the way) I have no battery life on this thing that you sold me!
Them: (After taking control of my computer, in their Indian accents, and running a series of tests) We don't detect any battery connected to the computer. Turn it over and see if there is one installed.
I oblige, and immediately notice that there is, in fact, no battery installed. Only a space where the battery would BE installed.
Me: There is none installed. It looks like you never sent me one.
Them: And you're just noticing this now?
Me: I never had to use the battery before this.
Them: You never wanted to?
Me: I wanted to, but I just assumed the damned thing had no battery life. There wasn't anything else in the box.
Them: Are you sure?
Me: Fortunately, I have the box right here in front of me. (For whatever reason, I hadn't thrown the box away.)
Them: Why don't you look to see if it's in there?
Me: Okay. I'll humor you, but it's not in there.
I opened the box.
I didn't see no goddamn battery.
Me: I don't see no goddamn battery! Send me a battery!
Them: Look closer.
Me: Okay. I'll humor you again. I'll look closer.
I looked closer. In the inner corner, I saw a little cardboard oblong. I opened it. There was the battery.
I suppose that would have been enough to add to my royal title, but then, it took me a good fifteen minutes to figure out how to install it properly.
It wouldn't fit, and of course, I then blamed them for sending me the wrong battery.
All it took to install it right was to close the lid on the laptop.
It then installed like a dream.
I then apologized profusely, but the guy couldn't hear me.
He was too busy laughing.
And I'm sure he told the whole office about the Lord Mayor of the Idiots, or perhaps the Maharajah of the Idiots, who didn't know he didn't have a battery.
And then they all went home and told the story to their families over their curry-filled dinners.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
The End Of An Error. 7.
To wrap this up, I will present a list of wonderful performers that SNL had the good taste to originally hire, and the bad taste to not have a clue what to do with.
Thus, they slipped through its fingers.
In alphabetical order.
1- Joan Cusack.
A truly gifted comedienne and actress.
A one season waste of her time.
2- Robert Downey Jr.
One season. Do I really need to comment?
3- Janeane Garofalo.
One season. A major talent, completely wasted.
4- Gilbert Gottfried.
A true force of nature.
SNL completely smothered that force.
5- David Koechner.
One of the funniest people ever.
I didn't know that from SNL.
One season.
6- Michael McKean.
We all know how good he is.
You couldn't tell from SNL.
7- Laurie Metlcalf.
Didn't even know who she was for the one season she did SNL.
What she is, is one of the great actresses and comediennes.
8- Colin Quinn.
A giant talent.
Relegated to Weekend Update, and seemed totally uncomfortable doing it.
9- Chris Rock.
Groomed to be a diminutive less funny Eddie Murphy.
He went on to run rings around Eddie Murphy.
10- Sarah Silverman.
One season. Didn't even know she was there.
11- Ben Stiller.
See Sarah Silverman.
I'm done, and I think the case has been made, at least to my satisfaction.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thus, they slipped through its fingers.
In alphabetical order.
1- Joan Cusack.
A truly gifted comedienne and actress.
A one season waste of her time.
2- Robert Downey Jr.
One season. Do I really need to comment?
3- Janeane Garofalo.
One season. A major talent, completely wasted.
4- Gilbert Gottfried.
A true force of nature.
SNL completely smothered that force.
5- David Koechner.
One of the funniest people ever.
I didn't know that from SNL.
One season.
6- Michael McKean.
We all know how good he is.
You couldn't tell from SNL.
7- Laurie Metlcalf.
Didn't even know who she was for the one season she did SNL.
What she is, is one of the great actresses and comediennes.
8- Colin Quinn.
A giant talent.
Relegated to Weekend Update, and seemed totally uncomfortable doing it.
9- Chris Rock.
Groomed to be a diminutive less funny Eddie Murphy.
He went on to run rings around Eddie Murphy.
10- Sarah Silverman.
One season. Didn't even know she was there.
11- Ben Stiller.
See Sarah Silverman.
I'm done, and I think the case has been made, at least to my satisfaction.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, October 31, 2013
The End Of An Error. 6.
The rest of the SNL cast members who made some sort of impact and whom I had less than any use for (alphabetically, and subjectively):
1- Tracy Morgan.
A cross-pollination of Belushi and Eddie Murphy.
The worst of both.
2- Bobby Moynihan.
Being roly-poly and extroverted does not make you Belushi.
3- Eddie Murphy.
The first dangerous black man on SNL.
I saw him live in Vegas at his height.
Warmed over Cosby and Pryor.
Didn't make me laugh once.
Except for Buh' wheat on SNL.
Mister Robinson's Neighorhood was just creepy.
He appeared on an HBO comedy competition against four other comics.
He must have been about 20 at the time.
He finished fifth, and deserved to.
Rookie jitters?
4- Joe Piscopo.
If we weren't doing this alphabetically, when it came to wasting everybody's time, he would be King of the Hill,
Top of the Heap.
I've heard him bellyache that although he and Eddie Murphy came up at the same time, he never had the chance to become as big a star as Eddie Murphy.
He couldn't come close to being as big a star as GEORGE Murphy.
5- Charles Rocket.
Not Lorne's fault.
Jean Doumanian's attempt to resurrect Chevy Chase.
At least with Chevy, there was a glimmer of humor.
6- Maya Rudolph.
Literally as if Ellen Cleghorne and Nora Dunn were able to have a natural-born adult child.
7- Andy Samberg.
Sure looked like he SHOULD have been funny.
Looks can be deceiving.
8- Horatio Sanz.
As if he and Bobby Moynihan were twins separated at birth.
9- Molly Shannon.
Everything she did left me cold and/or nauseous.
10- Julia Sweeney.
A one-joke, one trick pony.
A Shetland pony at best.
They even made a movie about it.
It was released at 65 minutes.
Can you imagine the crap that was cut out of that picture?
11- Terry Sweeney.
Why didn't they just go out and get Jim Bailey?
He wasn't doing that much at the time, and he did a hell of a Judy Garland impression.
12- Kristen Wiig.
The female Joe Piscopo, with far more undeserved success.
How the hell did they miss out on Yakoff Smirnoff?
One more go-round next time, concentrating on really good people they had that they misused and let slip through their collective fingers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
1- Tracy Morgan.
A cross-pollination of Belushi and Eddie Murphy.
The worst of both.
2- Bobby Moynihan.
Being roly-poly and extroverted does not make you Belushi.
3- Eddie Murphy.
The first dangerous black man on SNL.
I saw him live in Vegas at his height.
Warmed over Cosby and Pryor.
Didn't make me laugh once.
Except for Buh' wheat on SNL.
Mister Robinson's Neighorhood was just creepy.
He appeared on an HBO comedy competition against four other comics.
He must have been about 20 at the time.
He finished fifth, and deserved to.
Rookie jitters?
4- Joe Piscopo.
If we weren't doing this alphabetically, when it came to wasting everybody's time, he would be King of the Hill,
Top of the Heap.
I've heard him bellyache that although he and Eddie Murphy came up at the same time, he never had the chance to become as big a star as Eddie Murphy.
He couldn't come close to being as big a star as GEORGE Murphy.
5- Charles Rocket.
Not Lorne's fault.
Jean Doumanian's attempt to resurrect Chevy Chase.
At least with Chevy, there was a glimmer of humor.
6- Maya Rudolph.
Literally as if Ellen Cleghorne and Nora Dunn were able to have a natural-born adult child.
7- Andy Samberg.
Sure looked like he SHOULD have been funny.
Looks can be deceiving.
8- Horatio Sanz.
As if he and Bobby Moynihan were twins separated at birth.
9- Molly Shannon.
Everything she did left me cold and/or nauseous.
10- Julia Sweeney.
A one-joke, one trick pony.
A Shetland pony at best.
They even made a movie about it.
It was released at 65 minutes.
Can you imagine the crap that was cut out of that picture?
11- Terry Sweeney.
Why didn't they just go out and get Jim Bailey?
He wasn't doing that much at the time, and he did a hell of a Judy Garland impression.
12- Kristen Wiig.
The female Joe Piscopo, with far more undeserved success.
How the hell did they miss out on Yakoff Smirnoff?
One more go-round next time, concentrating on really good people they had that they misused and let slip through their collective fingers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The End Of An Error. 5.
Once the original SNL cast was set, and people began to leave, the next forty years or so was spent in attempting to fill various niches left by the cast members who made major impressions.
This was usually difficult, if not impossible, to do.
But it was tried anyway.
And because of the void left, and because of original mistakes made to begin with, we have had people foisted on us, mainly by Lorne Michaels, but not exclusively, who need to be singled out.
I put most of the blame on management.
It's otherwise like putting the blame on a baseball player for making a bonehead play, like that pinch-runner for the Cardinals, who entered the game the other night to end the World Series game in St. Louis the other night by getting picked off of first base.
It was the manager who sent this nitwit in to run.
The nitwit can't help being a nitwit.
And all that Lorne had to do was not put them on in the first place.
And that's the way it was with the SNL cast members who stunk up the joint.
For the most part.
The rest of this is going to be subjective, (and some may surprise you) as I rattle off the names of those cast members who, at least to me, made a particularly rank impression.
I'll do about half of them today, and half next time, as there are that many of them.
In alphabetical order.
Because it's easier.
1- Jim Belushi.
Right. You can't replace John Belushi. No matter how hard and how often they tried.
2- Chevy Chase.
He always thought he was a laugh riot, and always thought the camera was there to be winked at. Including in his movies.
3- Ellen Cleghorne.
Four years of arrogantly never making me laugh.
4- Rachel Dratch.
I'm going to be merciful, and not comment.
5- Nora Dunn.
The bland, white version of Ellen Cleghorne.
6- Chris Elliot.
I never saw what Letterman saw in him. And SNL didn't even bother to look.
7- Chris Farley.
Another attempt at Belushi. He had the danger, and the suicidal tendencies.
But to me, never funny.
8- Tina Fey.
This one might spark some controversy, but if there was no Sarah Palin, she would have NEVER made me laugh. "30 Rock" was entirely made up of winking at the camera. Got the mostest out of the leastest since Chevy Chase.
There are parallels here.
9- Ana Gasteyer.
Nora Dunn's been gone for six years? We've got to get Ana Gasteyer!
10- Mary Gross.
She always seemed embarrassed to be there.
11- Victoria Jackson.
Couldn't stand her BEFORE I realized she was a Right Wing loon.
12- Chris Kattan.
I don't know if it was him so much, or the gay-bashing sketches they had him do.
13- Dennis Miller.
See Victoria Jackson.
And see you all next time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
This was usually difficult, if not impossible, to do.
But it was tried anyway.
And because of the void left, and because of original mistakes made to begin with, we have had people foisted on us, mainly by Lorne Michaels, but not exclusively, who need to be singled out.
I put most of the blame on management.
It's otherwise like putting the blame on a baseball player for making a bonehead play, like that pinch-runner for the Cardinals, who entered the game the other night to end the World Series game in St. Louis the other night by getting picked off of first base.
It was the manager who sent this nitwit in to run.
The nitwit can't help being a nitwit.
And all that Lorne had to do was not put them on in the first place.
And that's the way it was with the SNL cast members who stunk up the joint.
For the most part.
The rest of this is going to be subjective, (and some may surprise you) as I rattle off the names of those cast members who, at least to me, made a particularly rank impression.
I'll do about half of them today, and half next time, as there are that many of them.
In alphabetical order.
Because it's easier.
1- Jim Belushi.
Right. You can't replace John Belushi. No matter how hard and how often they tried.
2- Chevy Chase.
He always thought he was a laugh riot, and always thought the camera was there to be winked at. Including in his movies.
3- Ellen Cleghorne.
Four years of arrogantly never making me laugh.
4- Rachel Dratch.
I'm going to be merciful, and not comment.
5- Nora Dunn.
The bland, white version of Ellen Cleghorne.
6- Chris Elliot.
I never saw what Letterman saw in him. And SNL didn't even bother to look.
7- Chris Farley.
Another attempt at Belushi. He had the danger, and the suicidal tendencies.
But to me, never funny.
8- Tina Fey.
This one might spark some controversy, but if there was no Sarah Palin, she would have NEVER made me laugh. "30 Rock" was entirely made up of winking at the camera. Got the mostest out of the leastest since Chevy Chase.
There are parallels here.
9- Ana Gasteyer.
Nora Dunn's been gone for six years? We've got to get Ana Gasteyer!
10- Mary Gross.
She always seemed embarrassed to be there.
11- Victoria Jackson.
Couldn't stand her BEFORE I realized she was a Right Wing loon.
12- Chris Kattan.
I don't know if it was him so much, or the gay-bashing sketches they had him do.
13- Dennis Miller.
See Victoria Jackson.
And see you all next time.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, October 24, 2013
The End Of An Error. 4.
My friend Mark Evanier e-mailed me to inform me that Albert Brooks' Famous Comedians School didn't air on SNL, but rather on a show on PBS.
Since I have always had PBS, I guess that's where I saw it.
I will then happily replace that film with Brooks' hilarious short film about having heart surgery.
And now I'll move on to the rest of the list (in no particular order).
1- Steve Martin and Dan Ayckroyd as the foreigners. Two Wild and Crazy Guys, in constant pursuit of "Foxes".
Funny the first time. Never as funny again.
2-Steve Martin and Gilda dancing to "Dancing in the Dark".
Really funny originally. A work of art.
When they reran it upon Gilda's death, and Steve Martin cried while introducing it, it was one of television's great moments.
3- Bill Murray doing his Lounge singer providing lyrics for the theme to "Star Wars".
When I first saw it, I was so dumb that I actually thought "Star Wars" had lyrics that I didn't know about.
The lounge singer was always great.
How Lorne picked Chevy Chase over Bill Murray to begin with is one of the great mysteries.
4- Bill Hader's Vincent Price impression, and his character Vinnie Verderci.
Bill Hader is one of the great underappreciated talents.
5-The Widette Family.
Done early in the series, it was a family of people, all of whom had huge asses.
They did it a few times, and always made me laugh.
Perhaps because I actually knew a family like that.
6- Jon Lovitz's Master Thespian, done with John Lithgow.
Lovitz always killed me. Just as he always did as Tommy Flanaygan, the compulsive liar, who listed among his conquests Morgan Fairchild.
7- Eddie Murphy as Buh'wheat.
You'll probably be surprised to learn that this was the ONLY time Eddie Murphy ever made me laugh.
8- Dana Carvey as Bush 41 debating Jon Lovitz as Michael Dukakis, highlighted by Lovitz saying "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy."
9- Christopher Walken as "The Continental".
Seductively and sleazily, with a foreign accent, talking to the camera, which represented a woman, in his lavish apartment, continually saying inappropriate things, and getting nailed for it.
They did "The Continental" just about every time Walken was on.
And I couldn't get enough of it, or him.
10- Alec Baldwin as the French Teacher.
Insisting that each student speak French in exactly the same inflections that he used.
Truly inspired.
11- The Young Caucasians.
Early in the series.
Ray Charles was the host.
The sketch was a flashback to when a young white group did a cover recording of "Tell Me What'd I Say".
And Ray Charles had to witness it.
Or at least listen to it.
He was not pleased.
It came out, upbeat, with no blue notes, totally vanilla, as "What DID I Say?" by the "Young Caucasians".
Brilliant.
Next time, recalling some of the people Lorne Michaels foisted upon us for at least several years, some of whom America has fallen in love with, none of whom I have.
'Til then.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Since I have always had PBS, I guess that's where I saw it.
I will then happily replace that film with Brooks' hilarious short film about having heart surgery.
And now I'll move on to the rest of the list (in no particular order).
1- Steve Martin and Dan Ayckroyd as the foreigners. Two Wild and Crazy Guys, in constant pursuit of "Foxes".
Funny the first time. Never as funny again.
2-Steve Martin and Gilda dancing to "Dancing in the Dark".
Really funny originally. A work of art.
When they reran it upon Gilda's death, and Steve Martin cried while introducing it, it was one of television's great moments.
3- Bill Murray doing his Lounge singer providing lyrics for the theme to "Star Wars".
When I first saw it, I was so dumb that I actually thought "Star Wars" had lyrics that I didn't know about.
The lounge singer was always great.
How Lorne picked Chevy Chase over Bill Murray to begin with is one of the great mysteries.
4- Bill Hader's Vincent Price impression, and his character Vinnie Verderci.
Bill Hader is one of the great underappreciated talents.
5-The Widette Family.
Done early in the series, it was a family of people, all of whom had huge asses.
They did it a few times, and always made me laugh.
Perhaps because I actually knew a family like that.
6- Jon Lovitz's Master Thespian, done with John Lithgow.
Lovitz always killed me. Just as he always did as Tommy Flanaygan, the compulsive liar, who listed among his conquests Morgan Fairchild.
7- Eddie Murphy as Buh'wheat.
You'll probably be surprised to learn that this was the ONLY time Eddie Murphy ever made me laugh.
8- Dana Carvey as Bush 41 debating Jon Lovitz as Michael Dukakis, highlighted by Lovitz saying "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy."
9- Christopher Walken as "The Continental".
Seductively and sleazily, with a foreign accent, talking to the camera, which represented a woman, in his lavish apartment, continually saying inappropriate things, and getting nailed for it.
They did "The Continental" just about every time Walken was on.
And I couldn't get enough of it, or him.
10- Alec Baldwin as the French Teacher.
Insisting that each student speak French in exactly the same inflections that he used.
Truly inspired.
11- The Young Caucasians.
Early in the series.
Ray Charles was the host.
The sketch was a flashback to when a young white group did a cover recording of "Tell Me What'd I Say".
And Ray Charles had to witness it.
Or at least listen to it.
He was not pleased.
It came out, upbeat, with no blue notes, totally vanilla, as "What DID I Say?" by the "Young Caucasians".
Brilliant.
Next time, recalling some of the people Lorne Michaels foisted upon us for at least several years, some of whom America has fallen in love with, none of whom I have.
'Til then.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
The End Of An Error. 3.
Well, the total is now up to nineteen (or so).
The number of times I laughed out loud over something I saw over the last forty years (or so) on "Saturday Night Live"
Be aware that this is purely subjective.
Here are some of them, in no particular order:
1-Samurai Deli.
One of a series of Belushi "Samurai" sketches.
Usually with Buck Henry playing straight for him.
Henry added to the laughter enormously.
I seriously doubt that it would have been as funny without him.
I think "Samurai Deli" was the first one.
And as usual, they beat the premise into the ground with subsequent sketches.
2- The Greek Diner.
The sketch that gave us "Chee-burgy, chee-burgy, chee-burgy, chee-burgy...."
Belushi really shined in that one.
Then, of course, they kept redoing the sketch, and it became diminishing returns.
3- Albert Brooks' Famous Comedians School.
He did a series of short films early on in the series, all good, but nothing as funny as the Famous Comedians School.
I had first seen it as an article in, I think, Esquire Magazine.
And it was hilarious there.
It translated very well to film, unfettered by Lorne's input.
Lorne seemed to know when not to get in people's way.
Especially if they weren't his underlings.
4- Negro Leaguers.
Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest in a short film where they portrayed two now ancient Negro League baseball players.
At least as impressive as it was funny.
5- The Joe Franklin Show.
Billy Crystal doing his devastating impression of Joe Franklin, with Christopher Guest doing his devastating impression of Alan Arkin, capturing all the inherent dopiness of the Joe Franklin Show.
6- Fernando's Hideaway.
Billy Crystal's hilarious, mostly improvised impression of Fernando Lamas, fracturing the language as he interviewed a guest.
A lot of people think that he broke this character in on SNL, but I remember him doing it on his own comedy hour on NBC a couple of years earlier.
I think he also did it with Johnny Carson before SNL.
7- Nathan Thurm and Mike Wallace.
Martin Short at his best, as the nervous and obviously guilty, with everything to hide, Nathan Thurm, and Harry Shearer doing his dead-on Mike Wallace impression in full interrogation mode.
8- Martin Short as Ed Grimley, when Howard Cosell guested and was made up to look just like Ed Grimley.
Howard was always a good sport.
Martin Short brought this character with him from SCTV.
This was one character that withstood the constant repetition.
These last five entries were all done in the 1984-85 season.
One that Lorne Michaels was not there for.
Lorne returned the next season.
And all of the great cast members from the 84-85 season, Billy Crystal, Harry Shearer, Martin Short, and Christopher Guest, promptly left.
It was the show's only great season, and Lorne Michaels had nothing to do with it.
If he was there at the time, he never would have hired those guys, because he couldn't control them, or treat them like indentured servants.
And if he did, none of them would have stood for it.
I'll get to the rest of my pleasant experiences with SNL next time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
The number of times I laughed out loud over something I saw over the last forty years (or so) on "Saturday Night Live"
Be aware that this is purely subjective.
Here are some of them, in no particular order:
1-Samurai Deli.
One of a series of Belushi "Samurai" sketches.
Usually with Buck Henry playing straight for him.
Henry added to the laughter enormously.
I seriously doubt that it would have been as funny without him.
I think "Samurai Deli" was the first one.
And as usual, they beat the premise into the ground with subsequent sketches.
2- The Greek Diner.
The sketch that gave us "Chee-burgy, chee-burgy, chee-burgy, chee-burgy...."
Belushi really shined in that one.
Then, of course, they kept redoing the sketch, and it became diminishing returns.
3- Albert Brooks' Famous Comedians School.
He did a series of short films early on in the series, all good, but nothing as funny as the Famous Comedians School.
I had first seen it as an article in, I think, Esquire Magazine.
And it was hilarious there.
It translated very well to film, unfettered by Lorne's input.
Lorne seemed to know when not to get in people's way.
Especially if they weren't his underlings.
4- Negro Leaguers.
Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest in a short film where they portrayed two now ancient Negro League baseball players.
At least as impressive as it was funny.
5- The Joe Franklin Show.
Billy Crystal doing his devastating impression of Joe Franklin, with Christopher Guest doing his devastating impression of Alan Arkin, capturing all the inherent dopiness of the Joe Franklin Show.
6- Fernando's Hideaway.
Billy Crystal's hilarious, mostly improvised impression of Fernando Lamas, fracturing the language as he interviewed a guest.
A lot of people think that he broke this character in on SNL, but I remember him doing it on his own comedy hour on NBC a couple of years earlier.
I think he also did it with Johnny Carson before SNL.
7- Nathan Thurm and Mike Wallace.
Martin Short at his best, as the nervous and obviously guilty, with everything to hide, Nathan Thurm, and Harry Shearer doing his dead-on Mike Wallace impression in full interrogation mode.
8- Martin Short as Ed Grimley, when Howard Cosell guested and was made up to look just like Ed Grimley.
Howard was always a good sport.
Martin Short brought this character with him from SCTV.
This was one character that withstood the constant repetition.
These last five entries were all done in the 1984-85 season.
One that Lorne Michaels was not there for.
Lorne returned the next season.
And all of the great cast members from the 84-85 season, Billy Crystal, Harry Shearer, Martin Short, and Christopher Guest, promptly left.
It was the show's only great season, and Lorne Michaels had nothing to do with it.
If he was there at the time, he never would have hired those guys, because he couldn't control them, or treat them like indentured servants.
And if he did, none of them would have stood for it.
I'll get to the rest of my pleasant experiences with SNL next time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, October 17, 2013
The End Of An Error. 2.
I think one of the major problems I've had with "Saturday Night Live" over the years has been the continuing looming presence of Lorne Michaels, the very public and private face of "SNL".
Aside from not thinking much of his taste in comedy, I've felt, and have certainly heard from others, that he has brought an overwhelming tenseness to the entire proceedings over the years.
There was an article in the New York Times recently, entitled "The God of "SNL" Will See You Now.", which sums up that tenseness from many who have worked on the show.
It has been well documented that he is one of those people who will keep a prospective cast applicant waiting in his outer office a good eight hours after his or her scheduled appointment.
If you know me well enough, you'll know that this is the kind of thing that engenders instant dislike in me.
But if Steve Martin, or Alec Baldwin showed up unannounced, they would be ushered right in.
The regular cast members are always treated like underlings, like trained seals, all fighting over whatever fish Lorne might throw at them.
He makes them competitive, fighting to get their own material used on the show that week, at the expense of the others.
Competition doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, but the end result has mostly not resulted in wonderful work.
So there's a sense that the cast is always scared shitless in this environment.
He also has always maintained a caste system, dividing the cast into Regulars and, on a lesser rung, Featured Players.
You really have to feel bad for the Featured Players, because they know their place, and you know that they don't like their place.
They are basically people who are being "tried out".
And I don't particularly like the Featured Players.
This is a problem that has gone on for over twenty years with me.
Because each group of Featured Players are younger than the last group, some of whom went on to become regulars, and more of whom have simply disappeared from sight.
As a result, I only feel that much older when I see them.
I don't like feeling older when I see anybody.
It's another reason why I have finally owned up to having outgrown this show.
Another thing that Lorne Michaels has insisted on from the very beginning is that the entire show be done with the performers reading their lines off of cue cards.
Some performers do it better than others.
Some don't.
The end result is almost a total lack of spontaneity.
On Sid Caesar's "Your Show of Shows", everyone knew their lines.
And it always seemed spontaneous.
And sometimes they strayed from the script.
Same thing with Carol Burnett.
The only other shows that I can recall that relied on cue cards were the Bob Hope specials of the 1960's, where Hope relentlessly read off cue cards in sketches, and was terrible at it, and The Dean Martin Show, where everybody except Dean knew their lines, but Dean used cue cards.
But that was part of the joke.
And it worked.
By the end of last season, the only cast member that I had any use for was Bill Hader.
And I thought he was hilarious in everything he did.
Once I started watching the premiere episode this season, and saw the new group of Featured Players, and saw that Bill Hader was gone, I became the camel's back, and that was the straw that broke me.
Next time, I will recall the actual times that the show DID make me laugh out loud.
Since I used the number 14 the last time, I have thought of a handful more.
Until then....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Aside from not thinking much of his taste in comedy, I've felt, and have certainly heard from others, that he has brought an overwhelming tenseness to the entire proceedings over the years.
There was an article in the New York Times recently, entitled "The God of "SNL" Will See You Now.", which sums up that tenseness from many who have worked on the show.
It has been well documented that he is one of those people who will keep a prospective cast applicant waiting in his outer office a good eight hours after his or her scheduled appointment.
If you know me well enough, you'll know that this is the kind of thing that engenders instant dislike in me.
But if Steve Martin, or Alec Baldwin showed up unannounced, they would be ushered right in.
The regular cast members are always treated like underlings, like trained seals, all fighting over whatever fish Lorne might throw at them.
He makes them competitive, fighting to get their own material used on the show that week, at the expense of the others.
Competition doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, but the end result has mostly not resulted in wonderful work.
So there's a sense that the cast is always scared shitless in this environment.
He also has always maintained a caste system, dividing the cast into Regulars and, on a lesser rung, Featured Players.
You really have to feel bad for the Featured Players, because they know their place, and you know that they don't like their place.
They are basically people who are being "tried out".
And I don't particularly like the Featured Players.
This is a problem that has gone on for over twenty years with me.
Because each group of Featured Players are younger than the last group, some of whom went on to become regulars, and more of whom have simply disappeared from sight.
As a result, I only feel that much older when I see them.
I don't like feeling older when I see anybody.
It's another reason why I have finally owned up to having outgrown this show.
Another thing that Lorne Michaels has insisted on from the very beginning is that the entire show be done with the performers reading their lines off of cue cards.
Some performers do it better than others.
Some don't.
The end result is almost a total lack of spontaneity.
On Sid Caesar's "Your Show of Shows", everyone knew their lines.
And it always seemed spontaneous.
And sometimes they strayed from the script.
Same thing with Carol Burnett.
The only other shows that I can recall that relied on cue cards were the Bob Hope specials of the 1960's, where Hope relentlessly read off cue cards in sketches, and was terrible at it, and The Dean Martin Show, where everybody except Dean knew their lines, but Dean used cue cards.
But that was part of the joke.
And it worked.
By the end of last season, the only cast member that I had any use for was Bill Hader.
And I thought he was hilarious in everything he did.
Once I started watching the premiere episode this season, and saw the new group of Featured Players, and saw that Bill Hader was gone, I became the camel's back, and that was the straw that broke me.
Next time, I will recall the actual times that the show DID make me laugh out loud.
Since I used the number 14 the last time, I have thought of a handful more.
Until then....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
The End Of An Error.
It finally happened.
After almost forty years, I finally came to my senses.
Or at least what's left of my senses.
At long last, I voluntarily avoided watching, taping, or tivoing a new episode of "Saturday Night Live".
And I will continue along this path for the rest of my life.
I should have done this years ago.
Like, about forty years ago.
A few days ago, I made a concerted effort to list the times the show actually made me laugh out loud.
It came to about fourteen.
Fourteen in almost forty years.
That's w-a-a-a-y below the Mendoza Line.
For the uninformed, the Mendoza Line was named after Mario Mendoza, former major leaguer who was a good infielder with absolutely no ability to hit.
He must have been a good fielder, or they'd never keep him in the lineup.
He ended his career with a lifetime batting average of about .202.
That's w-a-a-a-y better than "Saturday Night Live" did.
Why did I stick with it so long?
I don't know.
I guess I always approached it with a sense of optimism.
Like the little boy who went to his room on his birthday and discovered that the floor was covered with shit.
And his reaction was ""It must be a pony!"
When it was on originally, I was about the same age as the first cast.
It seemed like the "hip" thing to do.
Back then, it was also hip to smoke.
I never smoked.
But I guess it had the same effect on me as nicotine would.
Belushi was certainly a compelling force of nature.
He accounts for two of the times I laughed out loud.
And how could you not love Gilda?
But the sketches never had endings.
Lorne Michaels seemed to pride himself on not remotely doing anything that Carol Burnett would do.
You know.
Like being w-a-a-a-y over the Mendoza Lne.
Like having endings for sketches.
And he kept recycling sketches that worked the first time.
And those that didn't.
That last group was really torture.
He's still doing parodies of game shows.
Usually "Jeopardy"
And it's always the same joke.
The contestants never know anything, much to the frustration of the emcee.
For almost forty years.
The only thing older than that joke is Don Pardo.
The show has always been so predictable that you know that the "Jeopardy" parody will come on in the first half-hour.
And the first musical number will be around midnight.
And "Weekend Update" will be on around 12:15.
And every sketch after "Weekend Update" will be weaker than those on before "Weekend Update"
And that the second musical number will be on at roughly 12:48.
And that the sketch following that will NEVER be remotely funny.
I can see that I'm going to be long-winded about this topic, and I'm already panting.
So we'll pick this up next time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
After almost forty years, I finally came to my senses.
Or at least what's left of my senses.
At long last, I voluntarily avoided watching, taping, or tivoing a new episode of "Saturday Night Live".
And I will continue along this path for the rest of my life.
I should have done this years ago.
Like, about forty years ago.
A few days ago, I made a concerted effort to list the times the show actually made me laugh out loud.
It came to about fourteen.
Fourteen in almost forty years.
That's w-a-a-a-y below the Mendoza Line.
For the uninformed, the Mendoza Line was named after Mario Mendoza, former major leaguer who was a good infielder with absolutely no ability to hit.
He must have been a good fielder, or they'd never keep him in the lineup.
He ended his career with a lifetime batting average of about .202.
That's w-a-a-a-y better than "Saturday Night Live" did.
Why did I stick with it so long?
I don't know.
I guess I always approached it with a sense of optimism.
Like the little boy who went to his room on his birthday and discovered that the floor was covered with shit.
And his reaction was ""It must be a pony!"
When it was on originally, I was about the same age as the first cast.
It seemed like the "hip" thing to do.
Back then, it was also hip to smoke.
I never smoked.
But I guess it had the same effect on me as nicotine would.
Belushi was certainly a compelling force of nature.
He accounts for two of the times I laughed out loud.
And how could you not love Gilda?
But the sketches never had endings.
Lorne Michaels seemed to pride himself on not remotely doing anything that Carol Burnett would do.
You know.
Like being w-a-a-a-y over the Mendoza Lne.
Like having endings for sketches.
And he kept recycling sketches that worked the first time.
And those that didn't.
That last group was really torture.
He's still doing parodies of game shows.
Usually "Jeopardy"
And it's always the same joke.
The contestants never know anything, much to the frustration of the emcee.
For almost forty years.
The only thing older than that joke is Don Pardo.
The show has always been so predictable that you know that the "Jeopardy" parody will come on in the first half-hour.
And the first musical number will be around midnight.
And "Weekend Update" will be on around 12:15.
And every sketch after "Weekend Update" will be weaker than those on before "Weekend Update"
And that the second musical number will be on at roughly 12:48.
And that the sketch following that will NEVER be remotely funny.
I can see that I'm going to be long-winded about this topic, and I'm already panting.
So we'll pick this up next time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Name That Tune.
There is a local restaurant that my wife and I frequent here in Michigan.
It is a bit swanky, and we frequent it when we are in a bit of a swanky mood.
The food there is consistently wonderful.
Maybe better than any other restaurant that we frequent.
Great bread.
Great Caesar Salad.
Great entrees.
Great desserts.
Great service.
My wife has always looked forward to going there.
I have always dreaded it.
In spite of the great bread, great Caesar Salad, great entrees, great desserts, and great service.
"What more can you ask for?" you ask?
Only one thing.
That they get rid of the omnipresent piano player who is ALWAYS there.
I have always made it a point to the headwaiter that we be seated as far away from the piano player as is humanly possible.
He usually complies, and this helps somewhat.
But sometimes he can't, and we are subjected to the worst piano playing this side of Ernest Borgnine's Fatso Jutson in "From Here To Eternity".
Actually, it's on the other side.
Fatso only played polkas.
The restaurant pianist played "dinner music".
"Cocktail music".
Music that required a much more delicate touch.
Do any of you recall the album "An Evening With Jonathan and Darlene Edwards"?
It was the alter egos of Jo Stafford and her husband Paul Weston.
They sang and played "Cocktail Music".
She deliberately sang off-key, and he accompanied her off the beat, with fumbly fingers.
It has always been as if this restaurant pianist took private lessons from Jonathan Edwards.
Except that the restaurant pianist wasn't accompanying anyone but himself.
He played popular tunes that he virtually dared anyone to guess what they were.
You couldn't possibly guess what they were in the first eight bars.
Or the first sixteen bars.
Having a much better musical ear than my wife, it usually fell to me to figure out what, in fact, the hell he was playing.
And there was a moment of triumph when I eventually DID figure out what he was playing.
So last time we were there, I turned it into a game.
A game of "Name That Tune".
I actually let it become part of the fun of the dining experience.
Of course, like most other restaurant pianists, he had CDs of his selections available for purchase.
I seriously considered buying one.
That way, we would have the "Name That Tune" home game to play whenever we wanted to.
I stopped myself.
I realized that I would never, ever play the "Name That Tune" home game.
I'd never want to.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
It is a bit swanky, and we frequent it when we are in a bit of a swanky mood.
The food there is consistently wonderful.
Maybe better than any other restaurant that we frequent.
Great bread.
Great Caesar Salad.
Great entrees.
Great desserts.
Great service.
My wife has always looked forward to going there.
I have always dreaded it.
In spite of the great bread, great Caesar Salad, great entrees, great desserts, and great service.
"What more can you ask for?" you ask?
Only one thing.
That they get rid of the omnipresent piano player who is ALWAYS there.
I have always made it a point to the headwaiter that we be seated as far away from the piano player as is humanly possible.
He usually complies, and this helps somewhat.
But sometimes he can't, and we are subjected to the worst piano playing this side of Ernest Borgnine's Fatso Jutson in "From Here To Eternity".
Actually, it's on the other side.
Fatso only played polkas.
The restaurant pianist played "dinner music".
"Cocktail music".
Music that required a much more delicate touch.
Do any of you recall the album "An Evening With Jonathan and Darlene Edwards"?
It was the alter egos of Jo Stafford and her husband Paul Weston.
They sang and played "Cocktail Music".
She deliberately sang off-key, and he accompanied her off the beat, with fumbly fingers.
It has always been as if this restaurant pianist took private lessons from Jonathan Edwards.
Except that the restaurant pianist wasn't accompanying anyone but himself.
He played popular tunes that he virtually dared anyone to guess what they were.
You couldn't possibly guess what they were in the first eight bars.
Or the first sixteen bars.
Having a much better musical ear than my wife, it usually fell to me to figure out what, in fact, the hell he was playing.
And there was a moment of triumph when I eventually DID figure out what he was playing.
So last time we were there, I turned it into a game.
A game of "Name That Tune".
I actually let it become part of the fun of the dining experience.
Of course, like most other restaurant pianists, he had CDs of his selections available for purchase.
I seriously considered buying one.
That way, we would have the "Name That Tune" home game to play whenever we wanted to.
I stopped myself.
I realized that I would never, ever play the "Name That Tune" home game.
I'd never want to.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Coda.
I did a four hour interview at the Television Academy in Burbank for the Archives of TV Legends at EmmyTVLegends.org. last Friday.
I had already attempted to contact them after I had posted the first two installments of "Why I Am Not Babaloo Mandel."
I indicated that I wasn't treated fairly by Lowell Ganz in his interview there.
They responded to me very quickly and very positively, formally inviting me to have my own interview.
Thus, I knew, before I posted the third installment, that I would be doing this interview.
Perhaps it colored the rest of what I wrote in those articles.
The people at the Academy followed the entire eight segments of the articles on line, so they knew what they were getting into.
I was quite concerned, because I knew that this was for posterity, that I wasn't going to appear to be whining, or a crybaby.
I was consistently reassured that it didn't come off that way.
With their quite helpful input, it was determined that the interview would be roughly 80% about me, and 20% about my relationship with Lowell.
And that's about how it turned out.
And I'm glad.
I had a lot to say about things totally unrelated to that relationship.
I was cautioned going in not to quote Lowell's interview too often.
I would say that in four hours, which everyone seemed to think flew by, I quoted Lowell maybe three times.
My wife made me get a haircut for my otherwise unruly hair, and the Makeup Department added hair gel to it, and the result is that I think you'll all find me adorable.
There were things that I wrote in the essays that I did not say in the interview.
I did show some self-restraint.
But I got most of the main points across.
And they allowed me to allude to the blog articles for anyone who wanted to see and hear a more thorough examination of my relationship with Lowell.
The viewers would know how to find them.
The interviewers were always instructed, no matter who the guest was, to not laugh at anything the guest says.
I was told by the interviewer between hours of filming that she had to restrain herself in this regard many times.
But the guys working the camera and the mike, right behind her, were consistently cracking up.
I'd like to think that they were representative of the future viewers of this interview.
Beforehand, we were served some great bagels.
The kind I didn't think were available in Los Angeles.
So I was already in a really good mood before we started.
We got done, and I was thanked profusely.
I really felt like TV Royalty.
I think the interview will be posted no earlier than eight weeks from now.
Of course, I will let you all know when it is available for viewing online.
One more point that I didn't indicate in the interview or any of the blog entries:
I've indicated that I never saw Lowell write anything by himself.
This isn't quite completely true.
After our breakup, we had some very heated confrontations about it.
Most of them in person.
Once, it involved an exchange of letters.
In his letter to me, he used the phrase "As the co-creater of 'Joanie Loves Chachi'...."
"co-creater"
Not "co-creator"
I thought "Perfect!"
Particularly because it was THAT show in question.
So not only was there no evidence that he could write well by himself, there is also no evidence that he could SPELL by himself.
Oh...if there only was Spell Check in those days.
Nobody would have known.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
I had already attempted to contact them after I had posted the first two installments of "Why I Am Not Babaloo Mandel."
I indicated that I wasn't treated fairly by Lowell Ganz in his interview there.
They responded to me very quickly and very positively, formally inviting me to have my own interview.
Thus, I knew, before I posted the third installment, that I would be doing this interview.
Perhaps it colored the rest of what I wrote in those articles.
The people at the Academy followed the entire eight segments of the articles on line, so they knew what they were getting into.
I was quite concerned, because I knew that this was for posterity, that I wasn't going to appear to be whining, or a crybaby.
I was consistently reassured that it didn't come off that way.
With their quite helpful input, it was determined that the interview would be roughly 80% about me, and 20% about my relationship with Lowell.
And that's about how it turned out.
And I'm glad.
I had a lot to say about things totally unrelated to that relationship.
I was cautioned going in not to quote Lowell's interview too often.
I would say that in four hours, which everyone seemed to think flew by, I quoted Lowell maybe three times.
My wife made me get a haircut for my otherwise unruly hair, and the Makeup Department added hair gel to it, and the result is that I think you'll all find me adorable.
There were things that I wrote in the essays that I did not say in the interview.
I did show some self-restraint.
But I got most of the main points across.
And they allowed me to allude to the blog articles for anyone who wanted to see and hear a more thorough examination of my relationship with Lowell.
The viewers would know how to find them.
The interviewers were always instructed, no matter who the guest was, to not laugh at anything the guest says.
I was told by the interviewer between hours of filming that she had to restrain herself in this regard many times.
But the guys working the camera and the mike, right behind her, were consistently cracking up.
I'd like to think that they were representative of the future viewers of this interview.
Beforehand, we were served some great bagels.
The kind I didn't think were available in Los Angeles.
So I was already in a really good mood before we started.
We got done, and I was thanked profusely.
I really felt like TV Royalty.
I think the interview will be posted no earlier than eight weeks from now.
Of course, I will let you all know when it is available for viewing online.
One more point that I didn't indicate in the interview or any of the blog entries:
I've indicated that I never saw Lowell write anything by himself.
This isn't quite completely true.
After our breakup, we had some very heated confrontations about it.
Most of them in person.
Once, it involved an exchange of letters.
In his letter to me, he used the phrase "As the co-creater of 'Joanie Loves Chachi'...."
"co-creater"
Not "co-creator"
I thought "Perfect!"
Particularly because it was THAT show in question.
So not only was there no evidence that he could write well by himself, there is also no evidence that he could SPELL by himself.
Oh...if there only was Spell Check in those days.
Nobody would have known.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
******
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