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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The 100 Funniest Words. Part Three.

The following suggestions were made in the Comments section:

"To update the list, we could scratch off broccoli, dropkick, breadbox, salami and chickenfat."

I have no problem scratching broccoli, breadbox, or salami.

But I draw the line at chickenfat and dropkick.

The great comedy writer Pat McCormick, when asked "What do you want to do tonight?", replied "Let's dropkick shit"

I insist that his memory be honored.

As for the other suggestions, I will deal with them individually and subjectively:

shiitake--Too oblique. Why not just say "shit"?
cockatoo(or cockatiel)---We already have "cuckoo, which is funnier than either.
lalapalooza---not as funny as "labonza", which I will add.
palooka,---never thought it was funny.
titmouse--I think it deserves honorable mention.,
slinky (the toy)---I can't think of a context where it would be usable.
boo-boo--perhaps if it was pronounced "buuh-boo"
tipsy--no thanks.
frankfurter---the only sausage I would consider is "bratwurst", and I'm still not sure about even that.
smegma--more disgusting than anything else.
stroganoff--not for me.
Sheboygan,---an obvious choice that I overlooked.
pluot---I plead ignorance.,
cock-eyed,----the image is funnier than the word.
knockwurst----asked and answered,
tchotchke---There's definitely a place for "tchotchke"
pumpernickel,---Already on the list
sarcophagus---'Tis only an ugly word.
cadaver---same as sarcophagus.
Lake Titicaca---The rules say it must be only one word.
whirlygig---not for me.
tubesteak,---I don't see it.
spleen---There is a good case to be made for it.
crotchety-----I don't think so.
vacillate---I'm not even vacillating. No.
masticate---I considered that one, but it didn't make the cut.
tinsel---don't see the point.
fracus---you'd think so, but no.
organ grinder---Two words
scruples----doesn't try hard enough
yogurt---a poor substitute for sour cream, which we can't use.
edamame---don't see it.
flatulence---definitely. I'll add it. .
Arugula---too close to "kugel" We can't have both.
sphincter----too unfamiliar, too many meanings.
zygote----In the anti-abortion era, it's lost any potential humor.
gherkin---I like it.
canker sore----The two-word rule, among other things.
Altoid---not today.
scrotum---you'd think it is, but it isn't.
putz---of course.
dipstick----I prefer Lipschitz.
douche--too easy.
schmendrick I was toying with it. I'll add it.
I will also add phallus, and one more that I'm embarrassed to have neglected:

Next time, the completely updated list.

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
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  1. I'll go along with your analysis with 1 exception: Scrotum. It always gets a laugh among friends.

    Tom from NY

  2. You might be qualified to receive a Apple iPhone 7.

  3. There is a chance you're qualified to receive a $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.



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About Me

Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."