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Thursday, July 18, 2013

The 100 Funniest Words.

On a recent trip to my attic, I stumbled upon a relic from the 1970's.
Early on in my TV writing career, we all determined that it would be invaluable to have a particular writing tool at our disposal:
A list of the hundred funniest words.
A kind of go-to list when writing comedy, particularly for finding the right word to end a sentence of dialogue, to form a punchline.
The list we compiled was often revised, to accommodate better and funnier words, thus allowing us to separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were.
I can't recall where this particular list fell in the sequence of revisions.
It's simply the one I stumbled upon in my attic.
The rules then were that they had to be one word.
Not two words strung together.
Proper names were deemed acceptable.
You'll find a preponderance of Yiddish words, and words loaded with "K" sounds.
Neil Simon taught us well.
I see no reason not to continue the tradition of updating the list, so if you have suggestions for possible replacements, the Comments section is the place to offer them.
They must be timeless, so "Kardashian" is unacceptable.

So, here goes, from 1977:


1- blintz

2- knish

3- bumbershoot

4- cucumber

5- broccoli

6- crumbcake

7- gorgonzola

8- glockenspiel

9- spittoon

10- rutabaga

11- bagel

12- dropkick

13- pretzel

14- prunes

15- shellaleigh

16- gavotte

17- snotnose

18- bellybutton

19- asscrack

20- cahoots

21- snootful

22- pants

23- zipper

24- matzoh

25- halvah

26- bocci

27- belch

28- phlegm

29- phlange

30- macaroni

31- scungilli

32- upchuck

33- fish

34- pistachio

35- clodhopper

36- Kalamazoo

37- provolone

38- kugel

39- latkes

40- brouhaha

41- cuckoo

42- breadbox

43- lox

44- pus

45- ukulele

46- sauerkraut

47- boogers

48- spatula

49- petunia

50- blubber

51- mudpack

52- peepers

53- bedbugs

54- dumbbell

55- tsitzis

56- dildo

57- cumquat

58- macaroon

59- festoon

60-Cucamonga

61- guacamole

62- poppycock

63- tommyrot

64- kerfuffle

65- pumpernickel

66- Riboflavin

67- pickle

68- knockers

69- muskrat

70- wienershnitzel

71- salami

72- fleugelhorn

73- gallstones

74- hippopotamus

75- giraffe

76- cockroach

77- klutz

78- schlemiel

79- hangnail

80- armpit

81- tonsillectomy

82- slush

83- blunderbuss

84- farts

85- bloomers (underwear, not flowers)

86- bric-a-brac

87- boner

88- coccyx

89- chickenfat

90- Poughkeepsie

91- blimp

92- pimples

93- aardvark

94- cubbyhole

95- yucch

96- seltzer

97- igloo

98- Edsel

99- noodles

100- cottonpickin'


*************


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My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays", and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

8 comments:

  1. perhaps one of these? cockatoo (or cockatiel), lalapalooza, palooka, titmouse, slinky (the toy), plop, boo-boo, tipsy, or frankfurter?

    ReplyDelete
  2. To update the list, we could scratch off broccoli, dropkick, breadbox, salami and chickenfat, and add on the following - shiitake, smegma, stroganoff, Sheboygan, taint, Bangkok, chowder, pluot, cock-eyed, knockwurst, tchochke, pumpernickel, sarcophagus, cadaver, Lake Titicaca, whirlygig, tubesteak, spleen, crotchety, vacillate, masticate, tinsel, fracus, organ grinder, scruples, yogurt, edamame and flatulence. MORE TO COME.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Arugula, sphincter, zygote, canker sore, Altoid, scrotum, gherkin.

    ReplyDelete
  4. putz, dipstick, douche, schmendrick

    Tom

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have two things to say:

    1-as far as i am concerned broccoli was a one season wonder and should be removed from the list. after the hoo-haw about the remark by president bush (the first) it lost a lot of ground in the funny department

    2-a lot of these words are funny because of the way they sound, but a many of them are funny because (how can i put this DELLLL-i-cat-ly), they evoke funny images, or at least images that inspire one to smile. I put pickle and cucumber in this category, among others.

    ReplyDelete
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About Me

Hi. I am, according to my Wikipedia entry,(which I did not create) a noted television writer, playwright, screenwriter, and occasional actor. You can Google me or go to the IMDB to get my credits, and you can come here to get my opinions on things, which I'll try to express eloquently. Hopefully I'll succeed. You can also e-mail me at macchus999@aol.com. Perhaps my biggest claim to fame is being responsible, for about six months in 1975, while Head Writer for the "Happy Days" TV series, for Americans saying to each other "Sit on it."