Just heard that Marty Ingels died of a massive stroke.
I don't like to hear about anyone dying of a massive stroke.
People aware of him know about how nuts he was.
You can go anywhere to read about that.
So what can I add to the conversation?
Well, in the early 60's, he appeared on Les Crane's local New York phone-in TV show.
He told a story about his mother when he was a kid, growing up with his brother in Brooklyn in a six-floor apartment building.
Apparently, she was one of the worst cooks who ever lived.
All of this resonated with me.
Except for the fact that I had a sister rather than a brother, and lived in the Bronx, my story is identical.
He described how, every Thursday Night, his mother served up fried liver, a dish that requires special care to prepare well.
It apparently did not live up to that standard.
Marty and his brother ended up chewing the liver but not being able to swallow it and invariably, when their mother wasn't looking, tossed the chewed liver out the window, into the backyard down below, near the clotheslines.
Eventually they got caught as mounds of chewed liver began accumulating down below.
And housewives had to step around it while trying to hang their laundry.
My mother made very good fried liver.
There were other items that we needed to throw out of the window.
The other main plaint that Marty described was how his mother insisted that she make them warm milk before they went to sleep.
They had no problem with drinking warm milk, save for the fact that a skin quickly developed on the top of the glass, which Marty and his brother called "muuch-kiss".
They would be revolted at the sight of "muuch-kiss" and always complained bitterly about it.
As they spotted it they would cry out "Muuch-kiss!"
I wasn't exposed to that kind of muuch-kiss, rather a much more positive form of it.
My-T-Fine chocolate pudding was a staple in our house.
It too, when made properly, developed a skin on top.
That's part of what made it great.
Once we heard Marty's "muuch-kiss" story, my sister and I, to this day, refer to the skin on My-T-Fine chocolate pudding as
"muuch-kiss". My wife has picked up the gauntlet, and uses the term as well. My-T-Fine is an East Coast product. I didn't even know if it still existed.
I did a search, and it does exist, and can be ordered on Amazon.
If you've never tried it, I suggest you get some.
It's the best.
Jello pudding is just one more thing that Bill Cosby misguided the public about.
I had the opportunity to meet Marty Ingels in Laughlin Nevada.
He was accompanying his wife, Shirley Jones, who was appearing at Laughlin's Harrah's hotel.
He was leaving an elevator, and I immediately cried out "Muuch-kiss!"
He certainly remembered, and was pleased that somebody else did.
We were able to chat, and he immediately addressed the major elephant in the room: What on earth did Shirley see in him?
He said "Shirley has always been attracted to funny people. If Jan Murray had asked her to marry him, she would have said 'yes'.
Reading Shirley's book subsequently, it revealed a fairly kinky side to her, which could have also accounted for her marrying
Marty Ingels.
It's a shame that his lack of sanity led to a rather aborted comedy career, because he was a genuinely funny man.
And in my house, he certainly added to the language.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Telling You The Truth.
I haven't received any more DVDs from the West Coast yet to do any more Report Cards, so in the interim I'm going to attempt to regale you with a very timely story.
It's one in which I am at the same time tangentially and intrinsically involved.
I get this cable channel here called Buzzr.
It's all old game shows.
Some really old.
Like black-and-white old.
The original "What's My Line?" "To Tell The Truth" and I've Got A Secret".
I loved and love those shows and Tivo them regularly.
In the 90's, the Game Show Network used to do the same thing.
And I saw all of them.
But so much time has passed that I don't remember any individual episode.
Allow me to digress here.
I have a friend, Barry, who has a friend who had claimed that in 1961, he and his parents all appeared on "To Tell The Truth" in one episode, each as liars in each of the three games. The friend was about ten years old at the time.
This seemed to be the kind of stunt casting that "To Tell The Truth" never indulged in.
He was met with at least mock skepticism by his friends.
This was roughly akin to my claiming that I played Rusty B Company on "Rin-Tin-Tin"
But I knew I was lying, and nobody believed me either.
However, he was obsessive about it to the point that his friends started to believe him.
He had conducted a fruitless 35 year old search to track down this episode, all the more difficult because it aired live.
Barry had told me about this quest some time in the 80s and it stuck with me.
Then, in the 90s, when the Game Show Network was airing "To Tell The Truth", I saw what I thought was this episode.
I called Barry and asked "Was this family named "Elder"?
It was.
I mailed Barry the VHS tape. That was what we were dealing with then.
On young Elder's birthday, they threw him a party at his home.
No mention of the tape.
Barry without warning, popped this tape into young Elder's VCR.
Young Elder was now in his early fifties.
The show started, Young Elder saw his father, long since passed away, on the show.
He immediately broke down into uncontrollable tears.
In the second game, he saw his mother, also long since gone.
He was mush.
Then he saw himself in the third game.
After regaining his composure, he asked how the tape was found.
My name was then bandied about.
Young Elder was then the City Manager of Worthington, Ohio. A suburb of Columbus.
I was offered the key to the city, which was worthless because it didn't open anything.
But if I ever wanted a slave, he volunteered to be mine.
I didn't really want a slave, but I appreciated the gesture.
I apparently not only made his day, I made his life.
The reason this is timely now is that just yesterday, Buzzr reran that episode of "To Tell The Truth", and reminded me of how much I contributed to somebody's happiness.
I don't get to do that too often.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
It's one in which I am at the same time tangentially and intrinsically involved.
I get this cable channel here called Buzzr.
It's all old game shows.
Some really old.
Like black-and-white old.
The original "What's My Line?" "To Tell The Truth" and I've Got A Secret".
I loved and love those shows and Tivo them regularly.
In the 90's, the Game Show Network used to do the same thing.
And I saw all of them.
But so much time has passed that I don't remember any individual episode.
Allow me to digress here.
I have a friend, Barry, who has a friend who had claimed that in 1961, he and his parents all appeared on "To Tell The Truth" in one episode, each as liars in each of the three games. The friend was about ten years old at the time.
This seemed to be the kind of stunt casting that "To Tell The Truth" never indulged in.
He was met with at least mock skepticism by his friends.
This was roughly akin to my claiming that I played Rusty B Company on "Rin-Tin-Tin"
But I knew I was lying, and nobody believed me either.
However, he was obsessive about it to the point that his friends started to believe him.
He had conducted a fruitless 35 year old search to track down this episode, all the more difficult because it aired live.
Barry had told me about this quest some time in the 80s and it stuck with me.
Then, in the 90s, when the Game Show Network was airing "To Tell The Truth", I saw what I thought was this episode.
I called Barry and asked "Was this family named "Elder"?
It was.
I mailed Barry the VHS tape. That was what we were dealing with then.
On young Elder's birthday, they threw him a party at his home.
No mention of the tape.
Barry without warning, popped this tape into young Elder's VCR.
Young Elder was now in his early fifties.
The show started, Young Elder saw his father, long since passed away, on the show.
He immediately broke down into uncontrollable tears.
In the second game, he saw his mother, also long since gone.
He was mush.
Then he saw himself in the third game.
After regaining his composure, he asked how the tape was found.
My name was then bandied about.
Young Elder was then the City Manager of Worthington, Ohio. A suburb of Columbus.
I was offered the key to the city, which was worthless because it didn't open anything.
But if I ever wanted a slave, he volunteered to be mine.
I didn't really want a slave, but I appreciated the gesture.
I apparently not only made his day, I made his life.
The reason this is timely now is that just yesterday, Buzzr reran that episode of "To Tell The Truth", and reminded me of how much I contributed to somebody's happiness.
I don't get to do that too often.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Report Card---"Grandma"
"Grandma" is essentially a chick-flick, directed and written by a man.
This is rather unusual.
That being said, it is a pretty entertaining, interesting film.
It stars Lily Tomlin, who actually plays a lesbian in this one.
It's mostly about her grand-daughter showing up at her doorstep, pregnant, needing an abortion.
Them dealing with it is the thrust of the film.
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Pretty much.
A.
Compelling even?
Not really.
C-.
Is it controversial?
Abortion is always controversial.
A.
Is it a story worth telling?
Yes.
A.
Is it good storytelling?
Fairly good. There is an issue about raising enough money for the abortion. As if there aren't any free clinics.
B-.
Is it well written?
The dialogue is excellent.
A+.
Is it well cast? Well played?
Very.
A.
Well shot?
Nothing special.
C.
Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?
Not in the least.
C-.
How long does it take to establish the film's locale?
They never do. It looks like L.A. what with palm trees and smog, but it's never alluded to.
It seems like a story that belongs in the Bay Area, but it doesn't have that feel.
D.
Is it too long? Too short?
It moves briskly.
A+.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
Yes, and yes.
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
Not really an issue.
No grade.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
Not really.
C.
Is it funny?
Occasionally. When it wants to be.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
No. Very little is.
F.
Is it impressive?
Yes. Rather.
B+
Overall grade: B.
When it's on cable, it's worth your time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
This is rather unusual.
That being said, it is a pretty entertaining, interesting film.
It stars Lily Tomlin, who actually plays a lesbian in this one.
It's mostly about her grand-daughter showing up at her doorstep, pregnant, needing an abortion.
Them dealing with it is the thrust of the film.
On to the scoring:
Is it interesting?
Pretty much.
A.
Compelling even?
Not really.
C-.
Is it controversial?
Abortion is always controversial.
A.
Is it a story worth telling?
Yes.
A.
Is it good storytelling?
Fairly good. There is an issue about raising enough money for the abortion. As if there aren't any free clinics.
B-.
Is it well written?
The dialogue is excellent.
A+.
Is it well cast? Well played?
Very.
A.
Well shot?
Nothing special.
C.
Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it?
Not in the least.
C-.
How long does it take to establish the film's locale?
They never do. It looks like L.A. what with palm trees and smog, but it's never alluded to.
It seems like a story that belongs in the Bay Area, but it doesn't have that feel.
D.
Is it too long? Too short?
It moves briskly.
A+.
Is it believable? Do you care about the characters?
Yes, and yes.
A.
Is it predictable? Does it surprise you?
Not really an issue.
No grade.
Do you think about it after you've seen it?
Not really.
C.
Is it funny?
Occasionally. When it wants to be.
A.
Would it have been worth the thirteen bucks it would have cost to see it in the movies?
No. Very little is.
F.
Is it impressive?
Yes. Rather.
B+
Overall grade: B.
When it's on cable, it's worth your time.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not
e-books. But they are available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one. If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Fall Is Officially Here.
I just received the first DVD screener from the West Coast, which, as many of you veterans of this blog realize, is the beginning of "Report Card" season. It will extend until just about the time the major awards are given out.
For the uninitiated, "Report Cards" are my version of movie reviews, written from the point of view of someone who hates to read movie reviews.
This is because most movie reviews reveal way more about a movie than I want to know.
Like for instance, the plot.
I will never reveal the plot of a movie in my Report Cards.
I will tell you as little as I feel you need to know about a movie and still give you enough of a sense of whether or not you should want to see it.
The screeners that I receive are sent to me because I am eligible to vote for various awards.
And I watch the movie. On my 60 inch flat screen.
They are promotional tools for the studios.
These are the films that they consider to be award-worthy.
I see just about every movie that opens this fall and winter that fall into that category.
It's been my experience that about half of them are.
With each Report Card, I pose a series of questions that I ask myself, and attempt to answer them, hopefully adding some humor along the way.
It's the same questions for every movie, generally from the point of view of a screenwriter.
There are many examples of Report Cards from last year's films on the blog for you to check out the nature of the questions.
Each category is graded.
From A+ descending all the way to F.
And finally there is an overall rating.
If you read my Report Cards and then see the movie, and agree with me often enough, then I am providing a valuable service for you.
If you predominantly disagree with me, it's probably a waste of your time.
But you'll probably be entertained anyway.
I am adding a couple of new questions this year:
Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it? (Hint: the more the better.)
and
How long does it take to establish the film's locale? (Hint: the sooner the better. You don't want to sit there and keep asking yourself "Where are they?")
So the next post will be this season's first Report Card.
Welcome back to movie land!
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
For the uninitiated, "Report Cards" are my version of movie reviews, written from the point of view of someone who hates to read movie reviews.
This is because most movie reviews reveal way more about a movie than I want to know.
Like for instance, the plot.
I will never reveal the plot of a movie in my Report Cards.
I will tell you as little as I feel you need to know about a movie and still give you enough of a sense of whether or not you should want to see it.
The screeners that I receive are sent to me because I am eligible to vote for various awards.
And I watch the movie. On my 60 inch flat screen.
They are promotional tools for the studios.
These are the films that they consider to be award-worthy.
I see just about every movie that opens this fall and winter that fall into that category.
It's been my experience that about half of them are.
With each Report Card, I pose a series of questions that I ask myself, and attempt to answer them, hopefully adding some humor along the way.
It's the same questions for every movie, generally from the point of view of a screenwriter.
There are many examples of Report Cards from last year's films on the blog for you to check out the nature of the questions.
Each category is graded.
From A+ descending all the way to F.
And finally there is an overall rating.
If you read my Report Cards and then see the movie, and agree with me often enough, then I am providing a valuable service for you.
If you predominantly disagree with me, it's probably a waste of your time.
But you'll probably be entertained anyway.
I am adding a couple of new questions this year:
Did the director put such a personal stamp on it so that no one else could have made it? (Hint: the more the better.)
and
How long does it take to establish the film's locale? (Hint: the sooner the better. You don't want to sit there and keep asking yourself "Where are they?")
So the next post will be this season's first Report Card.
Welcome back to movie land!
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Nobody Is Ever Safe.
It's been my experience when doing pilots for the networks that, no matter how powerful you may think you are, it turns out to be nothing when a network is nervous.
Nobody was as powerful as we were when we got our development deal right after "Laverne and Shirley" became a huge hit.
The head of programming for CBS invited us for lunch at the CBS private dining room, the food was great, and they essentially asked us who we wanted to star in our first pilot after we did "The Ted Knight Show".
We almost unhesitatingly responded "Rita Moreno" based on past experience.
And they said, practically in unison "We love her!"
I think we could have said "Doodles Weaver" and they'd have said "We love him!"
But we didn't test that theory.
Thus we put together a pilot for Rita Moreno, one that I'm very proud of.
We knew the limitations of our power.
It first reared its ugly head when we did a pilot with Ted Knight.
That was their idea, but we thought it was a good one.
And we ended up doing six episodes that ended up on their schedule in 1978.
During the first rehearsal for the network, we had an actor signed as a regular to play Ted's brother.
His name was Mickey Deems.
I had seen Mickey Deems many times, and always loved his work.
CBS gave us their approval, and I thought it was a no-brainer.
Whenever I've cast anyone, I've always thought it was a no-brainer.
I had never recast anyone because I felt that I'd made a mistake.
So, at the first public rehearsal, Mickey Deems essentially stepped on his dick.
I chalked it up to nerves, knowing how solid he was when the chips were down.
The network immediately wanted him replaced.
I considered this an affront, but I didn't think it was worth going to the mat for Mickey Deems.
So further auditions were held, and another actor, Normann Burton, was selected.
Everything he did was over the top, and I actively disliked his work.
CBS loved him.
Primarily because he wasn't Mickey Deems.
Both actors are dead now, so I don't have any qualms talking about them.
And nobody at CBS is still there, so I have no problem trashing them.
Then, we did the Rita Moreno pilot, and we needed to cast someone to play Rita's younger sister.
We decided to cast an actress who we had used on "Busting Loose" in a small part and she really scored.
Again, a no-brainer.
At the first public rehearsal, she less than pleased CBS.
They wanted us to cut her part down.
Hell, at least they didn't make us fire her.
And we were about eight minutes too long.
Much of the eight minutes came out of her part, which she did fine.
But there was an insurrection among much of the supporting cast.
They thought that this was something we wanted to do.
And we were met with scowls and scorn for the rest of the week.
They had no comprehension of how little power we actually had.
Rita, a major veteran of pilots, had no problem with what we had to do.
She was and is a total pro.
Not many credits since for the actress in question.
It's a shame.
She deserved better.
And she probably still blames me.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Nobody was as powerful as we were when we got our development deal right after "Laverne and Shirley" became a huge hit.
The head of programming for CBS invited us for lunch at the CBS private dining room, the food was great, and they essentially asked us who we wanted to star in our first pilot after we did "The Ted Knight Show".
We almost unhesitatingly responded "Rita Moreno" based on past experience.
And they said, practically in unison "We love her!"
I think we could have said "Doodles Weaver" and they'd have said "We love him!"
But we didn't test that theory.
Thus we put together a pilot for Rita Moreno, one that I'm very proud of.
We knew the limitations of our power.
It first reared its ugly head when we did a pilot with Ted Knight.
That was their idea, but we thought it was a good one.
And we ended up doing six episodes that ended up on their schedule in 1978.
During the first rehearsal for the network, we had an actor signed as a regular to play Ted's brother.
His name was Mickey Deems.
I had seen Mickey Deems many times, and always loved his work.
CBS gave us their approval, and I thought it was a no-brainer.
Whenever I've cast anyone, I've always thought it was a no-brainer.
I had never recast anyone because I felt that I'd made a mistake.
So, at the first public rehearsal, Mickey Deems essentially stepped on his dick.
I chalked it up to nerves, knowing how solid he was when the chips were down.
The network immediately wanted him replaced.
I considered this an affront, but I didn't think it was worth going to the mat for Mickey Deems.
So further auditions were held, and another actor, Normann Burton, was selected.
Everything he did was over the top, and I actively disliked his work.
CBS loved him.
Primarily because he wasn't Mickey Deems.
Both actors are dead now, so I don't have any qualms talking about them.
And nobody at CBS is still there, so I have no problem trashing them.
Then, we did the Rita Moreno pilot, and we needed to cast someone to play Rita's younger sister.
We decided to cast an actress who we had used on "Busting Loose" in a small part and she really scored.
Again, a no-brainer.
At the first public rehearsal, she less than pleased CBS.
They wanted us to cut her part down.
Hell, at least they didn't make us fire her.
And we were about eight minutes too long.
Much of the eight minutes came out of her part, which she did fine.
But there was an insurrection among much of the supporting cast.
They thought that this was something we wanted to do.
And we were met with scowls and scorn for the rest of the week.
They had no comprehension of how little power we actually had.
Rita, a major veteran of pilots, had no problem with what we had to do.
She was and is a total pro.
Not many credits since for the actress in question.
It's a shame.
She deserved better.
And she probably still blames me.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Monday, September 21, 2015
Some Thoughts About The Emmys.
You know, I remember when the Emmy Awards was this pretty huge event.
It sure isn't that anymore.
At least for me.
I remember when I knew most if not all of the nominees.
I remember when I knew most if not all the shows that were nominated.
Not no more.
Not no how.
And I binge-watch a lot of shows.
But when I do know the shows, and the nominees, I usually still have a rooting interest as to who should win.
But I'm much more concerned about who shouldn't win.
Like for instance, "Veep".
I watched it the first season, and was amazed at how snarky it was.
How there was nobody that I cared about.
So I gave up.
But they kept winning Emmy Awards, so I guess they figured that they were on to something.
That this keeps winning, and Louis C.K. has never won anything is reason enough not to watch.
That Julia Louis-Dreyfuss keeps winning when Amy Schumer is on the ballot is a travesty.
Andy Samberg is easily the worst host the event has ever had.
I've never witnessed him to have even a shred of talent.
And he can't do anything with a straight face.
When they did the "In Memoriam" segment, someone had the good taste to not have him introduce it.
Viola Davis accepted her award as if she was the first black actress to win an Emmy.
And that she represented all black actresses.
She's not, and she doesn't.
If she had lost to a white actress would she have booed?
I had the impression from her speech that she would.
I never saw "Game of Thrones' and still have no desire to.
And we all knew that Peter Dinklage was going to win as Best Supporting Actor in a Drama.
I love "Better Call Saul", but in what universe is that a drama?
Jonathan Banks, a regular on" Saul" is the best thing on it, and who reminds me of a friend of mine named Marv so much that we always call him Marv when he appears on the screen, who was nominated in the same category as Dinklage, knew he didn't have a chance.
When he lost, the camera cut to him and he had an expression on his face that read "Why did I even leave the house?
The only thing it did make me want to see was "Olive Kitteridge", because I love Frances McDormand and Richard Jenkins.
I wouldn't have even known that it existed otherwise.
It did have some nice moments.
Jon Hamm's acceptance speech after losing all those other times was quite ingratiating.
And Tracy Morgan, who I was never much of a fan of, was wonderful with everything he said.
If anything else on the show last night had that impact, it might have reclaimed event status.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
It sure isn't that anymore.
At least for me.
I remember when I knew most if not all of the nominees.
I remember when I knew most if not all the shows that were nominated.
Not no more.
Not no how.
And I binge-watch a lot of shows.
But when I do know the shows, and the nominees, I usually still have a rooting interest as to who should win.
But I'm much more concerned about who shouldn't win.
Like for instance, "Veep".
I watched it the first season, and was amazed at how snarky it was.
How there was nobody that I cared about.
So I gave up.
But they kept winning Emmy Awards, so I guess they figured that they were on to something.
That this keeps winning, and Louis C.K. has never won anything is reason enough not to watch.
That Julia Louis-Dreyfuss keeps winning when Amy Schumer is on the ballot is a travesty.
Andy Samberg is easily the worst host the event has ever had.
I've never witnessed him to have even a shred of talent.
And he can't do anything with a straight face.
When they did the "In Memoriam" segment, someone had the good taste to not have him introduce it.
Viola Davis accepted her award as if she was the first black actress to win an Emmy.
And that she represented all black actresses.
She's not, and she doesn't.
If she had lost to a white actress would she have booed?
I had the impression from her speech that she would.
I never saw "Game of Thrones' and still have no desire to.
And we all knew that Peter Dinklage was going to win as Best Supporting Actor in a Drama.
I love "Better Call Saul", but in what universe is that a drama?
Jonathan Banks, a regular on" Saul" is the best thing on it, and who reminds me of a friend of mine named Marv so much that we always call him Marv when he appears on the screen, who was nominated in the same category as Dinklage, knew he didn't have a chance.
When he lost, the camera cut to him and he had an expression on his face that read "Why did I even leave the house?
The only thing it did make me want to see was "Olive Kitteridge", because I love Frances McDormand and Richard Jenkins.
I wouldn't have even known that it existed otherwise.
It did have some nice moments.
Jon Hamm's acceptance speech after losing all those other times was quite ingratiating.
And Tracy Morgan, who I was never much of a fan of, was wonderful with everything he said.
If anything else on the show last night had that impact, it might have reclaimed event status.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Some Things Are Better When You Binge.
Some TV shows actually improve when you binge-watch them.
One of my cable channels is called "Decades".
Every weekend, they offer up one old series that you can binge-watch.
One episode after another.
All weekend.
This past weekend, they aired episodes of "The Abbott and Costello Show".
I watched them all day Saturday.
On Sunday, I went to the Bears game, so I did not stick with it.
There were two seasons of "Abbott and Costello".
1952 (39 episodes) and 1953(39 episodes).
The '52 season was hilarious.
The '53 season was abysmal.
The '52 season had a live audience, vaudeville, burlesquish feeling to it.
The '53 season had a one-camera much slower-paced feel, as if it was shot underwater.
When I watched on Saturday, it was all shows from the '52 season.
I had never binge-watched it before.
It was addictive.
It was funny in a way I'd never experienced it being before.
Every element was perfect.
From the opening credit music to the two of them entering in front of a stage curtain, it felt like "Okay folks, sit back and we are just going to simply entertain your asses off".
And they invariably did.
They had great peripheral characters.
Their landlord, Sidney Fields, played by a bald man named Sidney Fields, often got "Story By" credit.
This meant most-likely that he took old burlesque sketches and committed them to paper.
He was a hilarious foil.
He also doubled, tripled, and quadrupled as Mr. Fields' brother, Professor Melonhead, Doctor Melonhead, Lawyer Melonhead,
Melonheads of all varieties.
All of them wearing ludicrous toupees, designed to fool nobody.
That was the beauty of burlesque.
You were never bound by any pretense of reality.
It was pure sketch.
There was Joe Besser, playing an eleven year old named Stinky, complete with Little Lord Fauntleroy costume.
Joe Besser was easily in his forties at the time.
And you bought into it.
Because it was worth it. He was that funny.
There was my personal favorite, Mr. Botchacaloupe, played by a wonderful actor named Joe Kirk, whom I had never seen in anything else before or since.
Mr. Botchacaloupe was the all purpose Italian stereotype. He sounded like Chico Marx. Only hipper.
He always owned a store.
And it was a different kind of store each time.
If Bud and Lou had to go to a record store, it was Mr. Botchacaloupe's record store.
This occurred when, in order to impress his girlfriend, Hilary Brooke, a tall statuesque woman, way out of Costello's league, that he could play the piano, Abbott had the brilliant idea that they'd get a record, and Abbott would be planted behind Hilary's piano, and on cue he'd put on the record and Lou would mime playing as if playing to the record.
What could possibly go wrong?
So Botchacaloupe suggests a record:
Botchacaloupe: How about this-a-one? Jinjadanelle daneeva du gan, moutza ganda glitza dian, moutza gan dida gwanda da bell,
moutza ganda de la Jinjadanelle.
Costello: What does that mean?
Botchacaloupe: "Ophelia".
Costello: I don't know. What else have you got?
Botchacaloupe: How 'bout this-a-one. It's called "Amole"
Costello: What does that mean?
Botchacaloupe: It means "When I went down south to Alabammy to see my mammy, I go through the back door, she goes through the front door, we miss each other for 'tree weeks.
Upon the rejection of "Amole", Botchacaloupe smashes the record on Costello's head.
Botchacaloupe lost his temper easily.
Another time Botchacaloupe owned a bakery. It was Costello's birthday and nobody cared, so he went to Botchacaloupe's bakery so Botchacaloupe could bake him a birthday cake, Costello had very specific needs for this cake, after a half-hour Botchacaloupe brings out this gorgeous, enormous birthday cake.
Costello is impressed but is disappointed that there are no marshmallows baked in the cake.
Botchacaloupe: You want marshamaloons? Why you no tell-a-me you wanna marshamaloons?
After two more passes, Costello is totally pleased with the result.
Botchacaloupe: Okay, where do you want me to send it?
Costello: I don't want you to send it anywhere. Just bring me some coffee. I'll eat it right here.
Botchacaloupe has had enough, and pushes Costello's face into the top of the cake.
Like I said, Botchacaloupe lost his temper easily.
Abbott was also a bit of a psychotic.
They would go into a restaurant.
Abbott: Now we've only got enough for one of us. So when the waitress asks you what you want, you don't want anything.
No matter what she says, you don't want a thing.
Costello: I don't want nothin'.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
The waitress approaches.
Waitress: What can I get for you boys?
Abbott: I'll have a Tuna Fish sandwich and a cup of coffee.
Costello: And what about you, handsome?
Costello: I don't want anything.
Abbott immediately turns on him.
Abbott: What do you mean, you don't want anything? You're in a restaurant. A place of business. You can't just come in here and not order anything. Order something!
Costello: I don't want anything.
Abbott: Order something small.
Costello: I'll have a small steak.
At this point, Abbott slaps Costello hard in the face.
They did variations on this constantly.
And when you watch this show in binge form, the more often he does it, the funnier it is.
That first season was played at a breakneck pace.
Unmatched on that level by any other show.
I can't recommend this experience highly enough.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
One of my cable channels is called "Decades".
Every weekend, they offer up one old series that you can binge-watch.
One episode after another.
All weekend.
This past weekend, they aired episodes of "The Abbott and Costello Show".
I watched them all day Saturday.
On Sunday, I went to the Bears game, so I did not stick with it.
There were two seasons of "Abbott and Costello".
1952 (39 episodes) and 1953(39 episodes).
The '52 season was hilarious.
The '53 season was abysmal.
The '52 season had a live audience, vaudeville, burlesquish feeling to it.
The '53 season had a one-camera much slower-paced feel, as if it was shot underwater.
When I watched on Saturday, it was all shows from the '52 season.
I had never binge-watched it before.
It was addictive.
It was funny in a way I'd never experienced it being before.
Every element was perfect.
From the opening credit music to the two of them entering in front of a stage curtain, it felt like "Okay folks, sit back and we are just going to simply entertain your asses off".
And they invariably did.
They had great peripheral characters.
Their landlord, Sidney Fields, played by a bald man named Sidney Fields, often got "Story By" credit.
This meant most-likely that he took old burlesque sketches and committed them to paper.
He was a hilarious foil.
He also doubled, tripled, and quadrupled as Mr. Fields' brother, Professor Melonhead, Doctor Melonhead, Lawyer Melonhead,
Melonheads of all varieties.
All of them wearing ludicrous toupees, designed to fool nobody.
That was the beauty of burlesque.
You were never bound by any pretense of reality.
It was pure sketch.
There was Joe Besser, playing an eleven year old named Stinky, complete with Little Lord Fauntleroy costume.
Joe Besser was easily in his forties at the time.
And you bought into it.
Because it was worth it. He was that funny.
There was my personal favorite, Mr. Botchacaloupe, played by a wonderful actor named Joe Kirk, whom I had never seen in anything else before or since.
Mr. Botchacaloupe was the all purpose Italian stereotype. He sounded like Chico Marx. Only hipper.
He always owned a store.
And it was a different kind of store each time.
If Bud and Lou had to go to a record store, it was Mr. Botchacaloupe's record store.
This occurred when, in order to impress his girlfriend, Hilary Brooke, a tall statuesque woman, way out of Costello's league, that he could play the piano, Abbott had the brilliant idea that they'd get a record, and Abbott would be planted behind Hilary's piano, and on cue he'd put on the record and Lou would mime playing as if playing to the record.
What could possibly go wrong?
So Botchacaloupe suggests a record:
Botchacaloupe: How about this-a-one? Jinjadanelle daneeva du gan, moutza ganda glitza dian, moutza gan dida gwanda da bell,
moutza ganda de la Jinjadanelle.
Costello: What does that mean?
Botchacaloupe: "Ophelia".
Costello: I don't know. What else have you got?
Botchacaloupe: How 'bout this-a-one. It's called "Amole"
Costello: What does that mean?
Botchacaloupe: It means "When I went down south to Alabammy to see my mammy, I go through the back door, she goes through the front door, we miss each other for 'tree weeks.
Upon the rejection of "Amole", Botchacaloupe smashes the record on Costello's head.
Botchacaloupe lost his temper easily.
Another time Botchacaloupe owned a bakery. It was Costello's birthday and nobody cared, so he went to Botchacaloupe's bakery so Botchacaloupe could bake him a birthday cake, Costello had very specific needs for this cake, after a half-hour Botchacaloupe brings out this gorgeous, enormous birthday cake.
Costello is impressed but is disappointed that there are no marshmallows baked in the cake.
Botchacaloupe: You want marshamaloons? Why you no tell-a-me you wanna marshamaloons?
After two more passes, Costello is totally pleased with the result.
Botchacaloupe: Okay, where do you want me to send it?
Costello: I don't want you to send it anywhere. Just bring me some coffee. I'll eat it right here.
Botchacaloupe has had enough, and pushes Costello's face into the top of the cake.
Like I said, Botchacaloupe lost his temper easily.
Abbott was also a bit of a psychotic.
They would go into a restaurant.
Abbott: Now we've only got enough for one of us. So when the waitress asks you what you want, you don't want anything.
No matter what she says, you don't want a thing.
Costello: I don't want nothin'.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
The waitress approaches.
Waitress: What can I get for you boys?
Abbott: I'll have a Tuna Fish sandwich and a cup of coffee.
Costello: And what about you, handsome?
Costello: I don't want anything.
Abbott immediately turns on him.
Abbott: What do you mean, you don't want anything? You're in a restaurant. A place of business. You can't just come in here and not order anything. Order something!
Costello: I don't want anything.
Abbott: Order something small.
Costello: I'll have a small steak.
At this point, Abbott slaps Costello hard in the face.
They did variations on this constantly.
And when you watch this show in binge form, the more often he does it, the funnier it is.
That first season was played at a breakneck pace.
Unmatched on that level by any other show.
I can't recommend this experience highly enough.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Monday, September 7, 2015
Directors As Hacks.
There is this wonderful documentary that can be found on Netflix.
It's called "Casting By"
It examines the extraordinary influence that casting directors have had on major films.
Most of the major directors have given enormous credit to their casting directors.
The irony is that there is no award given at the Oscars for casting directors.
They'll give them for editors, sound editors, other technical achievements, that fill up the overwhelming amount of time taken up at the Oscar ceremonies---but nothing for casting directors whose contribution is far more significant than those who receive those technical awards.
"Casting By" is a virtual love letter to Marion Dougherty generally regarded as the queen of casting.
Ignored throughout awards time because of the existing rules.
She found Jon Voight for "Midnight Cowboy", Dustin Hoffman for "The Graduate" and countless other creative major contributions to casting of major movies.
There was a major push to provide Ms. Dougherty with an honorary Oscar.
People like Robert Redford and Al Pacino wrote letters on her behalf to the head of the Directors' Guild whose attitude was that casting is merely an extension of the director's vision. The casting director deserved no credit whatsoever.
The head of the Director's Guild was this appropriately named asshole-----Taylor Hackford.
In this documentary, you get to see and hear just exactly how big an asshole he is.
Hackford's best known film was "An Officer and a Gentleman"
I never saw it, as usual, frightened away by the leading lady, Debra Winger, whom to my knowledge has never given a decent performance.
So I'm sure this movie contained not a moment of humor.
Checking his IMDB, I don't see any creative casting choices that he ever made.
There are two kinds of directors, excluding writer-directors, whom I consider to be visionaries. They are executing their own vision from their own pages.
Otherwise, there are only a handful of visionaries: Spielberg, Scorcese, George Lucas, and Francis Ford Coppola, who also writes.
Everyone else who directs movies are functionaries.
And are interchangeable.
They become directors for reasons other than how brilliant they are.
That's Taylor Hackford.
He has no writing credits to speak of.
He feels wa-a-a-ay too good about himself.
And he denied Marion Doughterty's honorary Oscar.
She died in 2011, Oscarless.
I've worked with Ms. Dougherty's disciples, and they are invaluable and wonderful.
Always providing me with wonderful choices.
And I'm pretty sure that I have a much greater knowledge of the talent pool than Hackford to begin with.
More respect should have been paid, and more awards should have been given out.
If Hackford didn't think his casting people deserved awards he has every right to tell them not to submit their names.
But he has no right to impose his ridiculous views on the rest of the industry.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
It's called "Casting By"
It examines the extraordinary influence that casting directors have had on major films.
Most of the major directors have given enormous credit to their casting directors.
The irony is that there is no award given at the Oscars for casting directors.
They'll give them for editors, sound editors, other technical achievements, that fill up the overwhelming amount of time taken up at the Oscar ceremonies---but nothing for casting directors whose contribution is far more significant than those who receive those technical awards.
"Casting By" is a virtual love letter to Marion Dougherty generally regarded as the queen of casting.
Ignored throughout awards time because of the existing rules.
She found Jon Voight for "Midnight Cowboy", Dustin Hoffman for "The Graduate" and countless other creative major contributions to casting of major movies.
There was a major push to provide Ms. Dougherty with an honorary Oscar.
People like Robert Redford and Al Pacino wrote letters on her behalf to the head of the Directors' Guild whose attitude was that casting is merely an extension of the director's vision. The casting director deserved no credit whatsoever.
The head of the Director's Guild was this appropriately named asshole-----Taylor Hackford.
In this documentary, you get to see and hear just exactly how big an asshole he is.
Hackford's best known film was "An Officer and a Gentleman"
I never saw it, as usual, frightened away by the leading lady, Debra Winger, whom to my knowledge has never given a decent performance.
So I'm sure this movie contained not a moment of humor.
Checking his IMDB, I don't see any creative casting choices that he ever made.
There are two kinds of directors, excluding writer-directors, whom I consider to be visionaries. They are executing their own vision from their own pages.
Otherwise, there are only a handful of visionaries: Spielberg, Scorcese, George Lucas, and Francis Ford Coppola, who also writes.
Everyone else who directs movies are functionaries.
And are interchangeable.
They become directors for reasons other than how brilliant they are.
That's Taylor Hackford.
He has no writing credits to speak of.
He feels wa-a-a-ay too good about himself.
And he denied Marion Doughterty's honorary Oscar.
She died in 2011, Oscarless.
I've worked with Ms. Dougherty's disciples, and they are invaluable and wonderful.
Always providing me with wonderful choices.
And I'm pretty sure that I have a much greater knowledge of the talent pool than Hackford to begin with.
More respect should have been paid, and more awards should have been given out.
If Hackford didn't think his casting people deserved awards he has every right to tell them not to submit their names.
But he has no right to impose his ridiculous views on the rest of the industry.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Monday, August 31, 2015
Okay, You Want Curmudgeon, I'll Give You Curmudgeon.
I've gotten quite a few comments on the blog where my curmudgeonly attitude is appreciated.
This one's for you.
I recently heard a female comic on TV, (I think it was Sarah Silverman, but don't quote me.) tell a story about her mother and how funny she was.
She would do things like go to a restaurant, and if the service was slow, or the butter was too hard, would take out her cell phone, call the restaurant she was in and ask to speak to the manager to get her problem solved.
I thought that this was hilarious, and had every notion to apply this idea to my own arsenal if the opportunity ever presented itself.
It didn't take long.
You didn't think it would, did you?
Given a good reason, I'm usually rude to waiters.
I'll cut waitresses a little more slack, but they're usually nicer to begin with.
Call me sexist. I don't care.
My wife and I went to a very upscale pricey steakhouse in my neighborhood last Saturday night.
We had never been there before.
My wife is always on her best behavior, which is exemplary.
She does not respond well to my excursions into rudeness.
But, to her credit, she puts up with me.
The waiter comes over to take our order.
Kind of a smartass.
I ask for the house salad with blue cheese dressing.
It came with the entrée.
I don't usually order two salads. But I also wanted a Caesar Salad.
He asks me if I want blue cheese crumbles on top of the house salad..
I ask "Is there an extra charge for the crumbles?"
He replies "Yes. There is."
I see my opening.
I ask, "So if I didn't ask, you wouldn't have told me? No crumbles."
I love the crumbles.
But I felt that it was more important to admonish him for his poor communication skills.
He took the rest of the order, and left.
I never saw him again.
He was replaced by a much nicer waiter.
I'm sure that the first one told the kitchen "I don't want to serve that asshole"
The rest of our order consisted of a bowl of Lobster Bisque, a Caesar Salad that we were going to split, a New York Steak for me, and scallops for my wife.
I'd asked if I could have anchovies with the Caesar Salad.
I was told they didn't have any, but that there was anchovy paste already in the salad.
This begs the question "so how do they make the anchovy paste? There must be anchovies somewhere."
I had brought a small tin of King Oscar Brand anchovies from home.
This is what one does if you're me.
They bring out the Lobster Bisque.
It is way too tomatoey.
I let it go.
Then, they bring out the entrees and the Caesar Salad simultaneously.
The waiter, after I complained said "I thought the Caesar Salad was just for your wife."
I had specifically told him that we were going to split it. We needed two plates.
Her scallops were considered a side dish.
I applied the anchovies to the Caesar Salad. It was the only thing that prevented it from being a complete abomination.
But I didn't complain about how any of the food was prepared.
Restaurants make things the way they make things.
Then, I attempted to try my steak.
I had been given a steak-knife.
I couldn't cut through it. And it was already cold from trying to down the Caesar Salad first.
I noticed the man at the next table. He had also ordered a steak, and seemed to be having trouble cutting through it.
I asked him if he was having trouble cutting his steak.
Indeed, he was.
My moment had arrived.
I got out my cellphone and called the restaurant. I asked to speak to the manager.
After a few seconds, he got on the phone.
I said "I'm all the way in the back. I'm the guy with the cane. And thanks for seating me here. I needed the extra walking. (There
were plenty of closer places I could have been seated.) Please come to my table."
Shortly, the man showed up. He asked "What seems to be the problem?"
I replied "Where do I begin? Well, first and foremost this steak-knife is too dull to cut this steak. Do you see that guy over there? His steak-knife is too dull to cut his steak"
He replied "Oh, is that all? I'll bring you a sharper one."
I said, you might want to bring him a sharper one too.
He immediately returned with another knife for me. And for my new friend at the next table.
It cut through the steak like butter.
I looked at my friend at the next table.
He gave me the high sign.
I said to the manager "Let me get this straight. The only way you get a sharp knife in this steakhouse is by making a scene like this to get one? Everybody else gets those dull ones unless they ask?"
He replied, well we just got these new ones in...."
It sounded pretty lame to me.
Then I went through the entire litany of what was wrong with the meal.
He said "I'm sorry sir. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Can I offer you a free dessert?"
I said "I don't want any free dessert. All I want from you is an admission that you wouldn't want to be treated the way you treated me.'
He made that admission willingly, probably pleased that he didn't have to spring for the spring for the free dessert.
How's that for curmudgeon?
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
This one's for you.
I recently heard a female comic on TV, (I think it was Sarah Silverman, but don't quote me.) tell a story about her mother and how funny she was.
She would do things like go to a restaurant, and if the service was slow, or the butter was too hard, would take out her cell phone, call the restaurant she was in and ask to speak to the manager to get her problem solved.
I thought that this was hilarious, and had every notion to apply this idea to my own arsenal if the opportunity ever presented itself.
It didn't take long.
You didn't think it would, did you?
Given a good reason, I'm usually rude to waiters.
I'll cut waitresses a little more slack, but they're usually nicer to begin with.
Call me sexist. I don't care.
My wife and I went to a very upscale pricey steakhouse in my neighborhood last Saturday night.
We had never been there before.
My wife is always on her best behavior, which is exemplary.
She does not respond well to my excursions into rudeness.
But, to her credit, she puts up with me.
The waiter comes over to take our order.
Kind of a smartass.
I ask for the house salad with blue cheese dressing.
It came with the entrée.
I don't usually order two salads. But I also wanted a Caesar Salad.
He asks me if I want blue cheese crumbles on top of the house salad..
I ask "Is there an extra charge for the crumbles?"
He replies "Yes. There is."
I see my opening.
I ask, "So if I didn't ask, you wouldn't have told me? No crumbles."
I love the crumbles.
But I felt that it was more important to admonish him for his poor communication skills.
He took the rest of the order, and left.
I never saw him again.
He was replaced by a much nicer waiter.
I'm sure that the first one told the kitchen "I don't want to serve that asshole"
The rest of our order consisted of a bowl of Lobster Bisque, a Caesar Salad that we were going to split, a New York Steak for me, and scallops for my wife.
I'd asked if I could have anchovies with the Caesar Salad.
I was told they didn't have any, but that there was anchovy paste already in the salad.
This begs the question "so how do they make the anchovy paste? There must be anchovies somewhere."
I had brought a small tin of King Oscar Brand anchovies from home.
This is what one does if you're me.
They bring out the Lobster Bisque.
It is way too tomatoey.
I let it go.
Then, they bring out the entrees and the Caesar Salad simultaneously.
The waiter, after I complained said "I thought the Caesar Salad was just for your wife."
I had specifically told him that we were going to split it. We needed two plates.
Her scallops were considered a side dish.
I applied the anchovies to the Caesar Salad. It was the only thing that prevented it from being a complete abomination.
But I didn't complain about how any of the food was prepared.
Restaurants make things the way they make things.
Then, I attempted to try my steak.
I had been given a steak-knife.
I couldn't cut through it. And it was already cold from trying to down the Caesar Salad first.
I noticed the man at the next table. He had also ordered a steak, and seemed to be having trouble cutting through it.
I asked him if he was having trouble cutting his steak.
Indeed, he was.
My moment had arrived.
I got out my cellphone and called the restaurant. I asked to speak to the manager.
After a few seconds, he got on the phone.
I said "I'm all the way in the back. I'm the guy with the cane. And thanks for seating me here. I needed the extra walking. (There
were plenty of closer places I could have been seated.) Please come to my table."
Shortly, the man showed up. He asked "What seems to be the problem?"
I replied "Where do I begin? Well, first and foremost this steak-knife is too dull to cut this steak. Do you see that guy over there? His steak-knife is too dull to cut his steak"
He replied "Oh, is that all? I'll bring you a sharper one."
I said, you might want to bring him a sharper one too.
He immediately returned with another knife for me. And for my new friend at the next table.
It cut through the steak like butter.
I looked at my friend at the next table.
He gave me the high sign.
I said to the manager "Let me get this straight. The only way you get a sharp knife in this steakhouse is by making a scene like this to get one? Everybody else gets those dull ones unless they ask?"
He replied, well we just got these new ones in...."
It sounded pretty lame to me.
Then I went through the entire litany of what was wrong with the meal.
He said "I'm sorry sir. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? Can I offer you a free dessert?"
I said "I don't want any free dessert. All I want from you is an admission that you wouldn't want to be treated the way you treated me.'
He made that admission willingly, probably pleased that he didn't have to spring for the spring for the free dessert.
How's that for curmudgeon?
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
The Ultimate "If It Bleeds, it Leads".
Yes, it's very sad that two young people, a reporter and a cameraman, were cut down in the prime of life.
I suppose it's even sadder that it happened on live TV.
But really, how much sadder?
It's certainly a lot more interesting, particularly since the video is so graphic.
Although, for the most part, they don't show you the actual shooting.
They stop just short of the trigger being pulled.
But it was shown on AOL, which means that it's pretty easy for it to go viral.
They've since pulled the graphic version, but it's still easily accessible if you want to go to the trouble.
On AOL, you got to see the young girl staring into the camera, much like a deer staring into the headlights.
It's frightening.
So congratulations to those networks that at least showed that much restraint.
But let's face it.
The shooter choreographed this whole thing.
He got exactly what he wanted out of this.
His dying wish, so to speak.
He got the whole world to pay attention to this.
At least for a 24 hour news cycle.
And networks have been eager to accommodate him.
Social media only makes things worse.
But this would have happened if social media didn't even exist.
People are murdered every day.
And they go largely unnoticed.
People no worse or less important than these folks in Virginia.
But for them, there are no outpourings of grief by politicians about them.
This whole thing reminds me of the Challenger disaster in 1986.
The entire country got to witness all those Astronauts get blown up.
But if the Shuttle had gotten far enough out of camera range, without everybody's family in attendance, it wouldn't have had the kind of impact that it did.
Other Astronauts were blown up in space on other Shuttles, but they aren't remembered because we didn't see it happen.
I generally abhor Local News, because the watchword on every broadcast is "If it bleeds, it leads".
Chicago is terrible for this.
Local news is unwatchable.
They always lead with a murder.
And there's a new one every day.
There's a numbing effect to it all.
So when one becomes a national story, it only compounds the felony.
There's no getting away from it.
The only positive outcome that can happen from this is if there is a considerable beefing up of gun control.
And class, what do we think the chances are of that happening?
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
I suppose it's even sadder that it happened on live TV.
But really, how much sadder?
It's certainly a lot more interesting, particularly since the video is so graphic.
Although, for the most part, they don't show you the actual shooting.
They stop just short of the trigger being pulled.
But it was shown on AOL, which means that it's pretty easy for it to go viral.
They've since pulled the graphic version, but it's still easily accessible if you want to go to the trouble.
On AOL, you got to see the young girl staring into the camera, much like a deer staring into the headlights.
It's frightening.
So congratulations to those networks that at least showed that much restraint.
But let's face it.
The shooter choreographed this whole thing.
He got exactly what he wanted out of this.
His dying wish, so to speak.
He got the whole world to pay attention to this.
At least for a 24 hour news cycle.
And networks have been eager to accommodate him.
Social media only makes things worse.
But this would have happened if social media didn't even exist.
People are murdered every day.
And they go largely unnoticed.
People no worse or less important than these folks in Virginia.
But for them, there are no outpourings of grief by politicians about them.
This whole thing reminds me of the Challenger disaster in 1986.
The entire country got to witness all those Astronauts get blown up.
But if the Shuttle had gotten far enough out of camera range, without everybody's family in attendance, it wouldn't have had the kind of impact that it did.
Other Astronauts were blown up in space on other Shuttles, but they aren't remembered because we didn't see it happen.
I generally abhor Local News, because the watchword on every broadcast is "If it bleeds, it leads".
Chicago is terrible for this.
Local news is unwatchable.
They always lead with a murder.
And there's a new one every day.
There's a numbing effect to it all.
So when one becomes a national story, it only compounds the felony.
There's no getting away from it.
The only positive outcome that can happen from this is if there is a considerable beefing up of gun control.
And class, what do we think the chances are of that happening?
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Monday, August 24, 2015
A Blatantly Anti-Semitic Commercial.
I'm writing about this now, because I don't know how much longer it's going to be around.
The commercial is for the Volkswagen Jetta.
Germans, of all people, should be particularly sensitive to this sort of thing.
They're not.
Three elderly obviously Jewish women, with thick Jewish accents, are taking a test drive of the new Jetta.
There is a young obviously Gentile salesman who is chauffeuring them around.
They embarrassingly openly flirt with this young salesman, who claims to not be embarrassed.
He most certainly is.
He openly indulges them.
Anything to make the sale.
The women then proceed to engage in blatant open "hondling', a Yiddish expression meaning 'bargaining beyond every boundary of good taste".
And they agree to buy the car.
If these women weren't Jewish, this commercial would never bear any resemblance to reality.
I'm not saying that this sort of thing doesn't go on.
I'm sure it does.
All the time.
It's certainly nothing I'm proud of.
But it doesn't need to be nationally exposed like this.
It's the kind of thing that leads Gentiles to think, and even say out loud, "See, I told you. They're ALL like that".
And I'm afraid that far too many of us are.
But this certainly sustains the stereotype.
Anti-Semitism is still almost as prevalent as racism.
If you replaced every reference to "Mexicans" that Donald Trump makes, and replace it with the word "Jews", he would probably be met with at least as much enthusiasm.
That's how scary he is to me.
I don't think that Germans have the right to promulgate this sort of thing.
I know quite a few Jews who still won't buy any German car.
The Holocaust, after all. was not that long ago.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
The commercial is for the Volkswagen Jetta.
Germans, of all people, should be particularly sensitive to this sort of thing.
They're not.
Three elderly obviously Jewish women, with thick Jewish accents, are taking a test drive of the new Jetta.
There is a young obviously Gentile salesman who is chauffeuring them around.
They embarrassingly openly flirt with this young salesman, who claims to not be embarrassed.
He most certainly is.
He openly indulges them.
Anything to make the sale.
The women then proceed to engage in blatant open "hondling', a Yiddish expression meaning 'bargaining beyond every boundary of good taste".
And they agree to buy the car.
If these women weren't Jewish, this commercial would never bear any resemblance to reality.
I'm not saying that this sort of thing doesn't go on.
I'm sure it does.
All the time.
It's certainly nothing I'm proud of.
But it doesn't need to be nationally exposed like this.
It's the kind of thing that leads Gentiles to think, and even say out loud, "See, I told you. They're ALL like that".
And I'm afraid that far too many of us are.
But this certainly sustains the stereotype.
Anti-Semitism is still almost as prevalent as racism.
If you replaced every reference to "Mexicans" that Donald Trump makes, and replace it with the word "Jews", he would probably be met with at least as much enthusiasm.
That's how scary he is to me.
I don't think that Germans have the right to promulgate this sort of thing.
I know quite a few Jews who still won't buy any German car.
The Holocaust, after all. was not that long ago.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Monday, August 17, 2015
Bungie.
There is this great dramatic series on Showtime called "Ray Donovan".
It stars Liev Schrieber, and Jon Voight has a major supporting part and is magnificent.
Schrieber plays Donovan and there is another actor who plays one of Donovan's brothers.
The character's name is Bungie.
It's astounding to me how events from one's past get triggered by something as seemingly insignificant as a character's name.
When I was a child, until my mid-twenties, my parents were friends with a couple from Boston, Bernie and Blanche Stone.
We would visit each other when we were in Boston, or they were in New York.
My memories of Blanche are rather vague.
But my memories of Bernie are totally vivid.
Bernie was one of my favorite people of all time.
He was a contemporary of my fathers.
I think that he was a little older.
If he's still alive, he'd be in his late 90's.
Bernie owned a record store in the late fifties.
He gave me my first Victrola when there were such things.
And my first record----David Seville's "Witch Doctor"
I loved Bernie.
He didn't have to do any of that to make me love him.
He was easily the most charming, engaging man I'd ever met.
And the Boston accent didn't hurt either.
After the Beach Boys, he stopped selling rock and roll records.
This coincided with my turning my ears off to rock and roll.
Obviously, Bernie was not without influence.
Bernie and Blanche had these friends, a couple who they'd often refer to as "Bunny and Gyawdge"
I don't specifically remember Bunny and Gyawge, but they remembered me.
Apparently, I was very appealing to them as a child.
I was an adorable baby, after all.
One thing I am certain of, is that their names were "Bunny" and "Gyawge".
They were never anything else.
But my mother, in her totally predictable way, once she mispronounced somebody's name, it remained that way for the rest of their and her lives.
No amount of correcting could make a difference.
I had a childhood friend named Steven Dezorett.
His mother played mah-jongg with my mother.
It didn't matter.
He was Steven Gazoreth, and his mother was Norma Gazoreth
And that was it. Forever.
I don't know if Norma ever had the need or desire to correct her.
If she did make the effort, it didn't take.
In the same tradition, it was never "Bunny and Gyawdge".
It was rather "Bungie and Gyawdge".
Nobody else ever called her 'Bungie".
Only my mother.
And everyone involved were way too polite to correct her.
Or maybe they, too had tried and failed.
The last time I saw Bernie was in Florida.
Bernie had retired to West Palm Beach.
I had gone with my parents to Nassau in the Caribbean to play Blackjack and brought them along.
And on the way back, I stopped off in West Palm Beach primarily so I could see Bernie again.
He was part of the agenda.
Also part of the agenda was seeing my Aunt Myrna, my mother's older divorced sister, who lived there.
Bernie had become a widower by that time.
And I knew a set-up was in the works.
I also knew it was a complete mismatch.
My Aunt Myrna was a complete loon.
The apple doesn't fall far from the other apple.
My mother was in the last six months of life, having suffered the ravages of cancer for about fifteen years..
My Aunt Myrna literally threw herself at Bernie, honestly thinking that she had a shot with him.
Bernie could not have handled it more deftly, with more aplomb.
He just oozed charm.
And my parents and I bore witness to all of this.
And of course, my mother did not check her "Bungies" at the door.
She was Bungie-ing all over the place.
It was "Bungie this, and Bungie that, here a Bungie there a Bungie, everywhere a Bungie, Bungie"
And Bernie just indulged her.
My Aunt Myrna actually had a boyfriend at the time.
His name was 'Bucky".
As Aunt Myrna started to realize that she was striking out with Bernie, she picked up the phone, and in an apartment way too small to provide any privacy, she got into a shouting match with Bucky which was way too embarrassing for all concerned.
Except for Aunt Myrna.
This was apparently standard operating procedure.
She even implied that there was someone "new" in her life, meaning Bernie.
This too rolled completely off of Bernie's back.
So now, when I watch "Ray Donovan" and Bungie is either addressed or referred to I am reduced to helpless snickering.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
It stars Liev Schrieber, and Jon Voight has a major supporting part and is magnificent.
Schrieber plays Donovan and there is another actor who plays one of Donovan's brothers.
The character's name is Bungie.
It's astounding to me how events from one's past get triggered by something as seemingly insignificant as a character's name.
When I was a child, until my mid-twenties, my parents were friends with a couple from Boston, Bernie and Blanche Stone.
We would visit each other when we were in Boston, or they were in New York.
My memories of Blanche are rather vague.
But my memories of Bernie are totally vivid.
Bernie was one of my favorite people of all time.
He was a contemporary of my fathers.
I think that he was a little older.
If he's still alive, he'd be in his late 90's.
Bernie owned a record store in the late fifties.
He gave me my first Victrola when there were such things.
And my first record----David Seville's "Witch Doctor"
I loved Bernie.
He didn't have to do any of that to make me love him.
He was easily the most charming, engaging man I'd ever met.
And the Boston accent didn't hurt either.
After the Beach Boys, he stopped selling rock and roll records.
This coincided with my turning my ears off to rock and roll.
Obviously, Bernie was not without influence.
Bernie and Blanche had these friends, a couple who they'd often refer to as "Bunny and Gyawdge"
I don't specifically remember Bunny and Gyawge, but they remembered me.
Apparently, I was very appealing to them as a child.
I was an adorable baby, after all.
One thing I am certain of, is that their names were "Bunny" and "Gyawge".
They were never anything else.
But my mother, in her totally predictable way, once she mispronounced somebody's name, it remained that way for the rest of their and her lives.
No amount of correcting could make a difference.
I had a childhood friend named Steven Dezorett.
His mother played mah-jongg with my mother.
It didn't matter.
He was Steven Gazoreth, and his mother was Norma Gazoreth
And that was it. Forever.
I don't know if Norma ever had the need or desire to correct her.
If she did make the effort, it didn't take.
In the same tradition, it was never "Bunny and Gyawdge".
It was rather "Bungie and Gyawdge".
Nobody else ever called her 'Bungie".
Only my mother.
And everyone involved were way too polite to correct her.
Or maybe they, too had tried and failed.
The last time I saw Bernie was in Florida.
Bernie had retired to West Palm Beach.
I had gone with my parents to Nassau in the Caribbean to play Blackjack and brought them along.
And on the way back, I stopped off in West Palm Beach primarily so I could see Bernie again.
He was part of the agenda.
Also part of the agenda was seeing my Aunt Myrna, my mother's older divorced sister, who lived there.
Bernie had become a widower by that time.
And I knew a set-up was in the works.
I also knew it was a complete mismatch.
My Aunt Myrna was a complete loon.
The apple doesn't fall far from the other apple.
My mother was in the last six months of life, having suffered the ravages of cancer for about fifteen years..
My Aunt Myrna literally threw herself at Bernie, honestly thinking that she had a shot with him.
Bernie could not have handled it more deftly, with more aplomb.
He just oozed charm.
And my parents and I bore witness to all of this.
And of course, my mother did not check her "Bungies" at the door.
She was Bungie-ing all over the place.
It was "Bungie this, and Bungie that, here a Bungie there a Bungie, everywhere a Bungie, Bungie"
And Bernie just indulged her.
My Aunt Myrna actually had a boyfriend at the time.
His name was 'Bucky".
As Aunt Myrna started to realize that she was striking out with Bernie, she picked up the phone, and in an apartment way too small to provide any privacy, she got into a shouting match with Bucky which was way too embarrassing for all concerned.
Except for Aunt Myrna.
This was apparently standard operating procedure.
She even implied that there was someone "new" in her life, meaning Bernie.
This too rolled completely off of Bernie's back.
So now, when I watch "Ray Donovan" and Bungie is either addressed or referred to I am reduced to helpless snickering.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Saturday, August 8, 2015
It's Time To Shut Down The Movie Theaters.
I can't for the life of me, figure out why anyone would go to the movies these days.
Not only is there nothing worth seeing, but you are literally taking your life in your hands.
People are getting physically attacked, shot and killed.
All of this to see Mad Max?
There may be a few good movies out there, but nothing that can't wait until they show up on HBO, or Netflix.
Most of us have large enough TV screens that we're not sacrificing anything to see these movies on a slightly smaller screen.
Do we honestly think that this trend of copycat crime, where lunatics, invade movie theaters to kill people, will ease up?
Or that better laws on gun control, or beefed up security is going to stop this?
All that's going to stop this is to shut down the movie theaters.
Have you noticed that this never occurs with live theater?
Even lunatics realize how overpriced live theater is.
Forty bucks to see a play? Are you crazy?
It's too much trouble for them.
So I have no problem with going to see a play.
So Hollywood is the problem, and it must come up with the solution.
So if you run a studio, turn everything to live streaming pay-per-view events.
Yes, you won't make money on popcorn anymore, but that only makes the movie-going experience even safer and healthier.
Yes, I'll miss the smell, but we all must make sacrifices.
Maybe they can figure out a way to pump the popcorn smell into the home and work out a home popcorn delivery system.
Fourteen year old boys will have to find another reason to leave the house.
If they Hollywood wants to save IMax, figure out a way to get it into the home.
You Hollywood guys are geniuses.
Figure out something.
There is an entire industry at stake.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Not only is there nothing worth seeing, but you are literally taking your life in your hands.
People are getting physically attacked, shot and killed.
All of this to see Mad Max?
There may be a few good movies out there, but nothing that can't wait until they show up on HBO, or Netflix.
Most of us have large enough TV screens that we're not sacrificing anything to see these movies on a slightly smaller screen.
Do we honestly think that this trend of copycat crime, where lunatics, invade movie theaters to kill people, will ease up?
Or that better laws on gun control, or beefed up security is going to stop this?
All that's going to stop this is to shut down the movie theaters.
Have you noticed that this never occurs with live theater?
Even lunatics realize how overpriced live theater is.
Forty bucks to see a play? Are you crazy?
It's too much trouble for them.
So I have no problem with going to see a play.
So Hollywood is the problem, and it must come up with the solution.
So if you run a studio, turn everything to live streaming pay-per-view events.
Yes, you won't make money on popcorn anymore, but that only makes the movie-going experience even safer and healthier.
Yes, I'll miss the smell, but we all must make sacrifices.
Maybe they can figure out a way to pump the popcorn smell into the home and work out a home popcorn delivery system.
Fourteen year old boys will have to find another reason to leave the house.
If they Hollywood wants to save IMax, figure out a way to get it into the home.
You Hollywood guys are geniuses.
Figure out something.
There is an entire industry at stake.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Watching Baseball With Tessie And Stanley.
I watch baseball on TV just about every day during the season.
I watch a lot of baseball.
I have the MLB package, that lets me see all the games being played.
I don't watch them all.
Only the ones I bet on.
People ask me who I root for.
I always tell them "I root for my money."
I approach betting the games scientifically.
As a result, I have a reasonably high expectation of winning.
Or at least winning more than I lose.
And I do pretty well.
But I get pretty angry on days that I lose.
I also invariably watch the games with the sound off.
They sneak commercials in places they never snuck them before.
They'll say things like "This pitching change is brought to you by Belle Tire".
It used to be brought to you by nobody.
Now, everything is a business.
The worst broadcaster in the major league games is here in Chicago. Ken Harrelson who does the White Sox games.
Harrelson is the last of a dying breed, which should already have been extinct.
He is an out-and-out "homer".
He actively roots for the White Sox. Constantly.
This is bad form.
It is bush-league at it's worst.
So you have to shut the sound off.
Baseball is a very easy game to watch with the sound off.
But you don't want to sit there in silence.
So what do you do, if you're me?
If you're me you turn on Spotify and listen to your music of choice.
As I sometimes get anxiety-ridden when the games aren't going my way, I look for the most uplifting, relaxing music I can find.
I've found it by listening to British Music Hall selections, as embodied by Tessie O'Shea (best known for appearing on the first Ed Sullivan Show that featured the Beatles) and Stanley Holloway best known for his appearance in the original production of "My Fair Lady" (You know. "I'm gettin' married in the morning...ding dong the bells are gonna chime...")
There is a wealth of wonderful material from both of them, all in that vein.
So I watch the games along with Tessie and Stanley.
And it beats the hell out of "This pitching change is brought to you by Belle Tire."
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
I watch a lot of baseball.
I have the MLB package, that lets me see all the games being played.
I don't watch them all.
Only the ones I bet on.
People ask me who I root for.
I always tell them "I root for my money."
I approach betting the games scientifically.
As a result, I have a reasonably high expectation of winning.
Or at least winning more than I lose.
And I do pretty well.
But I get pretty angry on days that I lose.
I also invariably watch the games with the sound off.
They sneak commercials in places they never snuck them before.
They'll say things like "This pitching change is brought to you by Belle Tire".
It used to be brought to you by nobody.
Now, everything is a business.
The worst broadcaster in the major league games is here in Chicago. Ken Harrelson who does the White Sox games.
Harrelson is the last of a dying breed, which should already have been extinct.
He is an out-and-out "homer".
He actively roots for the White Sox. Constantly.
This is bad form.
It is bush-league at it's worst.
So you have to shut the sound off.
Baseball is a very easy game to watch with the sound off.
But you don't want to sit there in silence.
So what do you do, if you're me?
If you're me you turn on Spotify and listen to your music of choice.
As I sometimes get anxiety-ridden when the games aren't going my way, I look for the most uplifting, relaxing music I can find.
I've found it by listening to British Music Hall selections, as embodied by Tessie O'Shea (best known for appearing on the first Ed Sullivan Show that featured the Beatles) and Stanley Holloway best known for his appearance in the original production of "My Fair Lady" (You know. "I'm gettin' married in the morning...ding dong the bells are gonna chime...")
There is a wealth of wonderful material from both of them, all in that vein.
So I watch the games along with Tessie and Stanley.
And it beats the hell out of "This pitching change is brought to you by Belle Tire."
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Why I Can't Stand Chris Matthews Anymore, Part 3 or 4, I've Lost Count.
I'll be brief with this one.
Not only is he still calling out his guests for mispronouncing the name "Cheney", insisting that the family pronounces it "Cheeney", which isn't always the case (I've heard them pronounce it "Cheney") but now he consistently pronounces the word "Holocaust" as "Holly-caust"
Maybe Dick "Cheeney" pronounces it "Holly-caust"
In any case, Chris, shut up.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Not only is he still calling out his guests for mispronouncing the name "Cheney", insisting that the family pronounces it "Cheeney", which isn't always the case (I've heard them pronounce it "Cheney") but now he consistently pronounces the word "Holocaust" as "Holly-caust"
Maybe Dick "Cheeney" pronounces it "Holly-caust"
In any case, Chris, shut up.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Perhaps My Guiltiest Pleasure.
This is a truly embarrassing admission.
I am an unabashed fan of "Family Feud".
It's my favorite show.
I never miss it, which is almost impossible, as it is on almost constantly.
I have always loved the game itself, and have never claimed to be any better at it than anyone else, but I truly enjoy it when one of the contestants comes up with a particularly stupid answer.
This has been a truly long term addiction.
I've watched it from the 1980's in spite of Richard Dawson kissing all those women, through all the subsequent hosts who kept improving the experience.
Ray Coombs was quite entertaining before he committed suicide.
But nobody, I mean nobody is as good at hosting "Family Feud" as Steve Harvey.
He is as funny as anything.
In any context.
One thing that confuses me: they always offer the option to play or pass to whoever answers the tossup question.
I don't understand why anyone would opt to pass.
It is invariably a bad percentage move.
If that's your intent, why even try to answer the question?
You came to play, play.
I know that all the contestants are prompted to say "Good answer, good answer!" no matter how bad their teammates answers might be. And that's annoying, and only a small price to pay because they cop to it.
I'm constantly Tivoing it, so I always have at least twenty episodes on hand at any one time.
If you haven't checked in on it since Richard Dawson was kissing all the women, you all owe yourselves another go.
A word of caution: almost every question elicits some variation on the phrase "My dick" or My boobs" or both.
If this offends you, I suggest that you loosen up.
I promise you that it will be worth it.
And I say this with no shame.
That's how funny it is.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
I am an unabashed fan of "Family Feud".
It's my favorite show.
I never miss it, which is almost impossible, as it is on almost constantly.
I have always loved the game itself, and have never claimed to be any better at it than anyone else, but I truly enjoy it when one of the contestants comes up with a particularly stupid answer.
This has been a truly long term addiction.
I've watched it from the 1980's in spite of Richard Dawson kissing all those women, through all the subsequent hosts who kept improving the experience.
Ray Coombs was quite entertaining before he committed suicide.
But nobody, I mean nobody is as good at hosting "Family Feud" as Steve Harvey.
He is as funny as anything.
In any context.
One thing that confuses me: they always offer the option to play or pass to whoever answers the tossup question.
I don't understand why anyone would opt to pass.
It is invariably a bad percentage move.
If that's your intent, why even try to answer the question?
You came to play, play.
I know that all the contestants are prompted to say "Good answer, good answer!" no matter how bad their teammates answers might be. And that's annoying, and only a small price to pay because they cop to it.
I'm constantly Tivoing it, so I always have at least twenty episodes on hand at any one time.
If you haven't checked in on it since Richard Dawson was kissing all the women, you all owe yourselves another go.
A word of caution: almost every question elicits some variation on the phrase "My dick" or My boobs" or both.
If this offends you, I suggest that you loosen up.
I promise you that it will be worth it.
And I say this with no shame.
That's how funny it is.
----------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
One Of The Great Jokes.
I am about to tell you what I consider to be one of the great jokes.
I would be surprised to learn that you are familiar with it, because I've never met anyone who has heard it before whenever I've told it .
Let me preface it by alerting you that it might be perceived as completely racist, sexist, with one of the filthiest punch-lines you'll ever hear.
If this puts you off, stop right here and come back next time.
Okay. Here goes.
It's Harlem in the 1930s.
Doctor George "Kingfish" Stevens is strolling down 125th Street.
As he passes the Apollo Theater, he encounters his good friend and colleague Andrew H. Brown.
Andy: Hello dere, Kingfish.
Kingfish: Ohhhh, hello dere brother Andy! It's been a while.
Andy: Yeah, I guess it has.
Kingfish: Are you feelin' all right, son?
Andy: Oh yeah. I feels fine.
Kingfish: Are you sure? Because you looks bad!
Andy: Well that's strange, because I feels good.
Kingfish: Well you may feels good, but you looks bad!!
Andy: This is beyond my comprehensiveness, because I feels good!
Kingfish: Son, you looks bad! And you can't take any chances with your health.
Look, my office is just a few doors down. Why don't you let me check you out.
So they head up to Doctor Kingfish's office and Andy gets a complete examination.
Kingfish can't find anything wrong with Andy.
Andy: I told you! I feels good!
Kingfish: That may be, but you still looks bad! Uh, maybe we's approaching this the wrong way.
Lemme look through the Encyclopedia of Medicine, dere. It's got all the answers!
Kingfish gets the Encyclopedia of Medicine from down off a high shelf.
He starts rummaging through it.
Kingfish: Let me see, dere...."Looks good, feels good"...
Andy: That's not it!
Kingfish: Oh yeah, you're right. Uh, "Looks bad, feels bad"...
Andy: That ain't it either!
Kingfish: Looks good and feels bad?
Andy: No, no, no! That's not it!!
Kingfish: You're right. It ain't. Oh wait a minute. Here it is. "Looks bad, and feels good"
Doctor Kingfish slowly lifts his head and stares Andy dead in the eye.
Kingfish: I wants you to brace yourself. Brother Andy...son...you a vagina!!
----------------------
If you liked it, tell your friends.
f you didn't, keep it to yourself.
But if you got this far, how could you not like it?
In any case, I don't want to hear any voices of protest.
You've all been warned.
And I just had a stroke.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
I would be surprised to learn that you are familiar with it, because I've never met anyone who has heard it before whenever I've told it .
Let me preface it by alerting you that it might be perceived as completely racist, sexist, with one of the filthiest punch-lines you'll ever hear.
If this puts you off, stop right here and come back next time.
Okay. Here goes.
It's Harlem in the 1930s.
Doctor George "Kingfish" Stevens is strolling down 125th Street.
As he passes the Apollo Theater, he encounters his good friend and colleague Andrew H. Brown.
Andy: Hello dere, Kingfish.
Kingfish: Ohhhh, hello dere brother Andy! It's been a while.
Andy: Yeah, I guess it has.
Kingfish: Are you feelin' all right, son?
Andy: Oh yeah. I feels fine.
Kingfish: Are you sure? Because you looks bad!
Andy: Well that's strange, because I feels good.
Kingfish: Well you may feels good, but you looks bad!!
Andy: This is beyond my comprehensiveness, because I feels good!
Kingfish: Son, you looks bad! And you can't take any chances with your health.
Look, my office is just a few doors down. Why don't you let me check you out.
So they head up to Doctor Kingfish's office and Andy gets a complete examination.
Kingfish can't find anything wrong with Andy.
Andy: I told you! I feels good!
Kingfish: That may be, but you still looks bad! Uh, maybe we's approaching this the wrong way.
Lemme look through the Encyclopedia of Medicine, dere. It's got all the answers!
Kingfish gets the Encyclopedia of Medicine from down off a high shelf.
He starts rummaging through it.
Kingfish: Let me see, dere...."Looks good, feels good"...
Andy: That's not it!
Kingfish: Oh yeah, you're right. Uh, "Looks bad, feels bad"...
Andy: That ain't it either!
Kingfish: Looks good and feels bad?
Andy: No, no, no! That's not it!!
Kingfish: You're right. It ain't. Oh wait a minute. Here it is. "Looks bad, and feels good"
Doctor Kingfish slowly lifts his head and stares Andy dead in the eye.
Kingfish: I wants you to brace yourself. Brother Andy...son...you a vagina!!
----------------------
If you liked it, tell your friends.
f you didn't, keep it to yourself.
But if you got this far, how could you not like it?
In any case, I don't want to hear any voices of protest.
You've all been warned.
And I just had a stroke.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Friday, July 17, 2015
When Life Imitates Art A Little Too Closely.
One more hospital story:
In my last hospital stay, I was easily placed in the coldest room in the hospital.
This was not by choice.
I was constantly asking for more blankets, and they were all thin ones, and never enough.
I was freezing every night.
Then, about two days before I checked out, everyone received warm, lush blankets.
The kind I wished I had for my entire stay.
I asked one of the nurses why, all of a sudden, we were getting these blankets.
I was told that there was going to be an inspection by someone who mattered, and after the inspection, they were going to be taken back.
I insisted that I keep mine, and they acquiesced.
This situation ran parallel to a scene in Billy Wilder's great "Stalag 17", where the Red Cross was going to inspect the American P.O.W. barracks, so the Nazis supplied the P.O.W.'s with fresh linens and blankets.
As soon as the Red Cross representatives left, the linens and blankets were removed, and the P.O.W.s were left to sleep in whatever lice ridden filth they had before.
Needless to say, I complained long and loud about it, and even offered up the "Stalag 17" analogy.
Comparing them to Nazis.
It pretty much fell upon deaf ears.
I think that I was very lucky to get out of there when I did.
That hospital did very much to advance my recovery, but I spent a whole lot of unnecessary frigid nights.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
In my last hospital stay, I was easily placed in the coldest room in the hospital.
This was not by choice.
I was constantly asking for more blankets, and they were all thin ones, and never enough.
I was freezing every night.
Then, about two days before I checked out, everyone received warm, lush blankets.
The kind I wished I had for my entire stay.
I asked one of the nurses why, all of a sudden, we were getting these blankets.
I was told that there was going to be an inspection by someone who mattered, and after the inspection, they were going to be taken back.
I insisted that I keep mine, and they acquiesced.
This situation ran parallel to a scene in Billy Wilder's great "Stalag 17", where the Red Cross was going to inspect the American P.O.W. barracks, so the Nazis supplied the P.O.W.'s with fresh linens and blankets.
As soon as the Red Cross representatives left, the linens and blankets were removed, and the P.O.W.s were left to sleep in whatever lice ridden filth they had before.
Needless to say, I complained long and loud about it, and even offered up the "Stalag 17" analogy.
Comparing them to Nazis.
It pretty much fell upon deaf ears.
I think that I was very lucky to get out of there when I did.
That hospital did very much to advance my recovery, but I spent a whole lot of unnecessary frigid nights.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
"You Are Cool! " Part 2..
The latter group of those about whom one can legitimately sarcastically say "You are cool!" contain several political figures, exclusively of the Republican variety.
I suppose a case can be made that all Republicans can be put in that category, and that there really isn't any variety among them.
I wouldn't say it about Rick Santorum, or Paul Ryan.
I don't agree with a word they say, but they both seem to handle themselves with at least some dignity.
On the far, other end of the spectrum is Bobby Jindal.
The idea that this man is attempting to run for President is so short-sighted.
Where does he think he's going to get people to vote for him?
Who on earth is going to vote for someone who so closely resembles Alfred E. Neuman?
It's not just his looks.
He seems to have the emptiest head of any politician out there.
There's not even any concept of cool.
Ann Coulter goes on TV whenever anyone lets her so she can hawk her latest book, where she yells and yammers and has nothing good to say about anyone.
Yeah, Ann, you are cool.
Bill Kristol, the political columnist, as opposed to Billy Crystal, the great entertainer, who appears far too regularly on "This Week With George Stephanopolous" as the representative of smarminess has another claim to the title----he is invariably wrong about everything.
He is often asked to offer up a prediction about something. He is never right.
I mean never.
What does it take to get this man off television?
The fact that he has the nerve to accept the check they give him is the epitome of cheek.
And the antithesis of cool.
I would have more than just to say in passing Dennis Miller, the King of Smarm.
But his career is essentially over, so I don't want to indulge in overkill.
But yeah, Dennis, you are cool.
And finally, Mandy Patinkin.
Mandy Patinkin is in many ways a great singer and performer.
But not all ways.
He has this regular tendency to go way over the top.
In a truly sickeningly way.
And you never know when it's going to happen.
And when it does, you wan't to yell out "Yeah Mandy, you are cool!"
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
I suppose a case can be made that all Republicans can be put in that category, and that there really isn't any variety among them.
I wouldn't say it about Rick Santorum, or Paul Ryan.
I don't agree with a word they say, but they both seem to handle themselves with at least some dignity.
On the far, other end of the spectrum is Bobby Jindal.
The idea that this man is attempting to run for President is so short-sighted.
Where does he think he's going to get people to vote for him?
Who on earth is going to vote for someone who so closely resembles Alfred E. Neuman?
It's not just his looks.
He seems to have the emptiest head of any politician out there.
There's not even any concept of cool.
Ann Coulter goes on TV whenever anyone lets her so she can hawk her latest book, where she yells and yammers and has nothing good to say about anyone.
Yeah, Ann, you are cool.
Bill Kristol, the political columnist, as opposed to Billy Crystal, the great entertainer, who appears far too regularly on "This Week With George Stephanopolous" as the representative of smarminess has another claim to the title----he is invariably wrong about everything.
He is often asked to offer up a prediction about something. He is never right.
I mean never.
What does it take to get this man off television?
The fact that he has the nerve to accept the check they give him is the epitome of cheek.
And the antithesis of cool.
I would have more than just to say in passing Dennis Miller, the King of Smarm.
But his career is essentially over, so I don't want to indulge in overkill.
But yeah, Dennis, you are cool.
And finally, Mandy Patinkin.
Mandy Patinkin is in many ways a great singer and performer.
But not all ways.
He has this regular tendency to go way over the top.
In a truly sickeningly way.
And you never know when it's going to happen.
And when it does, you wan't to yell out "Yeah Mandy, you are cool!"
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Monday, June 29, 2015
"You Are Cool!" Part 1
When my sister was an adolescent she started berating me because I didn't like the Beatles.
She loved them.
I would stop her by saying, "Yeah, Les, you are cool, and that would infuriate her and shut her up.
I would do it often enough that at some point she would say to me, "Mark, I am cool."
At which point I would point out to her that anyone who would say "I am cool" is automatically not cool.
That would infuriate her even more.
It occurred to me with some current events that there are more and more examples of people who think they are cool and are far from it.
Another way of expressing this is, "You feel way too good about yourself!"
Exhibit A: Donald Trump.
From that entrance he made descending on the escalator as he announced his candidacy, to every warped thought he has about anybody liking him, he certainly feels waaaay too good about himself.
He is not cool.
I can't imagine anybody, including himself, making the case that he is cool.
Exhibit B: Jonathan Schwartz
I have often brought myself to saying about the D.J. who represents the Great American Songbook, "Yes, Jonathan, you are cool!"
Now he is very knowledgeable about the subject and tells some great stories, but there is always a major element of namedropping.
Just yesterday, on his radio show, he did a tribute to Richard Rodgers on his 113th birthday.
At what point did a 113th birthday become something to celebrate?
Jonathan used this as an excuse to tell a lot of anecdotes about Rodgers, or "Dick," as he referred to him, since he knew him as a child.
So it was "Dick" this and "Dick" that; you never heard so much Dicking in your life.
And his live studio audience were all current cabaret singers who were fawning over everything he said because they wanted him to play their records.
Yeah, Jonathan, you are cool!
Exhibit C: A group of not-cool people.
I love buying and wearing athletic uniforms from various teams.
I very much understand people who do that.
What I don't for the life of me understand is why people buy athletic uniforms that have some famous athlete's name on the back.
It's one thing to identify with a team; it's another to identify that specifically with that person.
It's as if you think you are him.
I think that what I do is fairly cool and what they do is not cool at all.
I'm embarrassed to be at a game with them.
I've got several more exhibits and it will have to wait until next time.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
She loved them.
I would stop her by saying, "Yeah, Les, you are cool, and that would infuriate her and shut her up.
I would do it often enough that at some point she would say to me, "Mark, I am cool."
At which point I would point out to her that anyone who would say "I am cool" is automatically not cool.
That would infuriate her even more.
It occurred to me with some current events that there are more and more examples of people who think they are cool and are far from it.
Another way of expressing this is, "You feel way too good about yourself!"
Exhibit A: Donald Trump.
From that entrance he made descending on the escalator as he announced his candidacy, to every warped thought he has about anybody liking him, he certainly feels waaaay too good about himself.
He is not cool.
I can't imagine anybody, including himself, making the case that he is cool.
Exhibit B: Jonathan Schwartz
I have often brought myself to saying about the D.J. who represents the Great American Songbook, "Yes, Jonathan, you are cool!"
Now he is very knowledgeable about the subject and tells some great stories, but there is always a major element of namedropping.
Just yesterday, on his radio show, he did a tribute to Richard Rodgers on his 113th birthday.
At what point did a 113th birthday become something to celebrate?
Jonathan used this as an excuse to tell a lot of anecdotes about Rodgers, or "Dick," as he referred to him, since he knew him as a child.
So it was "Dick" this and "Dick" that; you never heard so much Dicking in your life.
And his live studio audience were all current cabaret singers who were fawning over everything he said because they wanted him to play their records.
Yeah, Jonathan, you are cool!
Exhibit C: A group of not-cool people.
I love buying and wearing athletic uniforms from various teams.
I very much understand people who do that.
What I don't for the life of me understand is why people buy athletic uniforms that have some famous athlete's name on the back.
It's one thing to identify with a team; it's another to identify that specifically with that person.
It's as if you think you are him.
I think that what I do is fairly cool and what they do is not cool at all.
I'm embarrassed to be at a game with them.
I've got several more exhibits and it will have to wait until next time.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Friday, June 19, 2015
A Tale of Two Hospitals
When they brought me to the first hospital I went to after my stroke, I experienced much dismay.
A dismay I did not express when previously writing about it.
They were helping me on the road to recovery to some extent,
but there were a lot of downsides.
The main one being the quality of the food.
It was, to put it charitably, institutional food, and I could not eat a drop of it.
I felt I needed all sorts of excuses to not eat their food.
I had my wife bring in boxes of shredded wheat and raisins and all I required of them was skim milk, which they provided.
Whenever I had dinner, it was because she brought it for me.
This hospital is considered the premier hospital for the kind of illness I had.
So, of course, I considered this inexcusable.
There was a great deal of impersonality from the therapists.
I knew they were helping me somewhat, but it seemed that they did not care particularly.
Again, I found this somewhat disconcerting.
My most vivid memory of that place is how many MRIs I had to go through.
Every time they did one I felt one I felt like I was reliving the opening credits of Ben Casey, where all you saw were the hospital lights overhead.
The only other upside was that I had a private room.
The next step was to move me to a sub-acute facility.
My attitude was "Oh, my God, how much worse can it be?"
As it turns out it was far better in many ways.
The level of caring by the therapists has been awesome and I am recovering much more rapidly than anyone had expected me to.
I am using a walker and I am just days away from being able to use a cane.
Which was kind of where I was when I had the stroke.
These people understand their reputation.
They know that they are Avis to the other hospital's Hertz.
So they are striving constantly to prove that they should be number one.
They also certainly accomplished that in terms of the level of food that they serve.
It is downright edible.
I know we are still dealing with food in an institution, but it is of far higher quality.
And it is served very attractively, making you think that it is far higher than it actually is.
Not that this place is without its dark side.
I do have to share a room with somebody; there are no private rooms here.
That is not really unpleasant, except for the fact that we share a very small bathroom,
and any time one of us makes a mess, no one is rushing to clean it up.
So I find myself in the awkward position of having to clean up his mess.
This shouldn't happen; that is their job.
As I do go to dinner in the dining room most of the time, occasionally there will be an experience where someone who really shouldn't be in public goes there too and behaves wretchedly.
Yesterday, one of the patients who I see there very often, and who spends most of his time coughing his brains out, hacking up phlegm, sat down at my table,where I was by myself.
He seemed to have no awareness that he was violating my rights.
Maybe it was like this at the other hospital, too, I just didn't get a chance to find out.
So I actually complained to the nurses about him and he was immediately placed at another table.
But, again, why did I have to complain? Why did I have to take the initiative?
They saw what was going on!
How did it become my responsibility to get rid of him?
At least no one thought I was out of line by complaining.
The nurses are usually very pleasant and usually try to please you.
Another chink in the armor --- there are all these little black foofies all over the place in the room.
They make the beds everyday.
New sheets and everything.
And I know I didn't bring them with me from home.
We don't have any little black foofies at home.
It's something this hospital provides.
I don't know why, and I don't know how to get rid of them.
The other one didn't have them.
It's really been starting to bug me.
One last fly in the ointment: there is a woman who works here whose job is the job of a professional cheerleader.
She talks to the patients as if they were nine years old.
Now a lot of people need a person like this; they need to be talked to as if they were nine years old.
But I am not one of them.
The only reason I put up with her is that she bought both of my books.
That buys a lot of good will.
They actually let me do one of my "library appearances" here.
Which I needed to do to test out my voice, which is coming back strong.
It went over very well.
I expect to get out of here and go home in about a week and a half.
I am doing everything I can to accelerate the process.
The end is in sight, but I am beginning to feel like a prisoner here.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
A dismay I did not express when previously writing about it.
They were helping me on the road to recovery to some extent,
but there were a lot of downsides.
The main one being the quality of the food.
It was, to put it charitably, institutional food, and I could not eat a drop of it.
I felt I needed all sorts of excuses to not eat their food.
I had my wife bring in boxes of shredded wheat and raisins and all I required of them was skim milk, which they provided.
Whenever I had dinner, it was because she brought it for me.
This hospital is considered the premier hospital for the kind of illness I had.
So, of course, I considered this inexcusable.
There was a great deal of impersonality from the therapists.
I knew they were helping me somewhat, but it seemed that they did not care particularly.
Again, I found this somewhat disconcerting.
My most vivid memory of that place is how many MRIs I had to go through.
Every time they did one I felt one I felt like I was reliving the opening credits of Ben Casey, where all you saw were the hospital lights overhead.
The only other upside was that I had a private room.
The next step was to move me to a sub-acute facility.
My attitude was "Oh, my God, how much worse can it be?"
As it turns out it was far better in many ways.
The level of caring by the therapists has been awesome and I am recovering much more rapidly than anyone had expected me to.
I am using a walker and I am just days away from being able to use a cane.
Which was kind of where I was when I had the stroke.
These people understand their reputation.
They know that they are Avis to the other hospital's Hertz.
So they are striving constantly to prove that they should be number one.
They also certainly accomplished that in terms of the level of food that they serve.
It is downright edible.
I know we are still dealing with food in an institution, but it is of far higher quality.
And it is served very attractively, making you think that it is far higher than it actually is.
Not that this place is without its dark side.
I do have to share a room with somebody; there are no private rooms here.
That is not really unpleasant, except for the fact that we share a very small bathroom,
and any time one of us makes a mess, no one is rushing to clean it up.
So I find myself in the awkward position of having to clean up his mess.
This shouldn't happen; that is their job.
As I do go to dinner in the dining room most of the time, occasionally there will be an experience where someone who really shouldn't be in public goes there too and behaves wretchedly.
Yesterday, one of the patients who I see there very often, and who spends most of his time coughing his brains out, hacking up phlegm, sat down at my table,where I was by myself.
He seemed to have no awareness that he was violating my rights.
Maybe it was like this at the other hospital, too, I just didn't get a chance to find out.
So I actually complained to the nurses about him and he was immediately placed at another table.
But, again, why did I have to complain? Why did I have to take the initiative?
They saw what was going on!
How did it become my responsibility to get rid of him?
At least no one thought I was out of line by complaining.
The nurses are usually very pleasant and usually try to please you.
Another chink in the armor --- there are all these little black foofies all over the place in the room.
They make the beds everyday.
New sheets and everything.
And I know I didn't bring them with me from home.
We don't have any little black foofies at home.
It's something this hospital provides.
I don't know why, and I don't know how to get rid of them.
The other one didn't have them.
It's really been starting to bug me.
One last fly in the ointment: there is a woman who works here whose job is the job of a professional cheerleader.
She talks to the patients as if they were nine years old.
Now a lot of people need a person like this; they need to be talked to as if they were nine years old.
But I am not one of them.
The only reason I put up with her is that she bought both of my books.
That buys a lot of good will.
They actually let me do one of my "library appearances" here.
Which I needed to do to test out my voice, which is coming back strong.
It went over very well.
I expect to get out of here and go home in about a week and a half.
I am doing everything I can to accelerate the process.
The end is in sight, but I am beginning to feel like a prisoner here.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
One Of The Most Delightful Sundays I've Ever Spent.
Yes. After having a stroke and everything.
A great day betting on baseball.
And then, I had a dilemma.
The Tony Awards were on that night.
Head-to-head against the NBA finals.
Game One was one of the great games.
And I have money on the Cavs for the series.
And I am still in the hospital, where I don't have access to TiVo.
So whatever choice I made, it meant I wasn't going to see the other one.
My wife was going to sit here and watch it with me, whatever one I chose.
And I was generally more inclined to watch the Tony Awards, as was she.
So the decision was made.
We watched the Tony Awards with occasional flipping to the game during commercials.
I was immediately taken with what I saw on the Tony Awards,
realizing that there were so many shows that had not opened yet the last time I was in New York,
and that I wanted to see all of them, with the occasional passes of seeing the game during commercials,
did not give me the flavor of the game.
I am sharing the room that I am in with one other person.
And he had his TV set tuned to something completely other.
I didn't feel I had the right to say to him:
"Hey, how about putting on the game, so I could see that, too?"
Then, in the second quarter, purely on his on volition, he turned on the game.
At which point I separated the curtain between us, and was able to see both the game and the Tony Awards at the same time.
This is something I never would have done if I was home.
If I was home, I would have TiVoed the one and watched the other live.
So this, in fact, was even better.
No, not worth the stroke. I'm just saying...
Did I mention that the Tony Awards was uniformly fabulous?
Just about every musical number they did from every show was magnificent.
Kristin Chenoweth and Alan Cumming were wonderful hosts; there was humor everywhere.
And there was practically no appearance by Nathan Lane, even.
But Larry David was there, and was totally hilarious.
I am planning my next trip to New York as soon as I am well enough to go.
It was a gift when I really needed one.
Yes, there were glitches.
You couldn't see the Memorial Reel. It was too small. But I'm just quibbling.
And after Tony's ended, I was able to concentrate solely on the NBA Finals.
which they went into overtime for the second time in a row.
Except, this time, the Cavs held on and pulled it out, something that nobody expected to happen.
Another gift.
That's some lot of gifts over the course of about three hours.
So we were able to turn a liability into an asset.
I can only wish you those kind of days.
P.S. I am feeling better day after day and able to do more things by myself.
Just today I was able to stand in the bathroom and shave myself
without having to hold on to anything.
This is major.
I appreciate all of your thoughtfulness and your kindness, and, once again, I will try to keep up the communication at this source.
Watch This Space.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
A great day betting on baseball.
And then, I had a dilemma.
The Tony Awards were on that night.
Head-to-head against the NBA finals.
Game One was one of the great games.
And I have money on the Cavs for the series.
And I am still in the hospital, where I don't have access to TiVo.
So whatever choice I made, it meant I wasn't going to see the other one.
My wife was going to sit here and watch it with me, whatever one I chose.
And I was generally more inclined to watch the Tony Awards, as was she.
So the decision was made.
We watched the Tony Awards with occasional flipping to the game during commercials.
I was immediately taken with what I saw on the Tony Awards,
realizing that there were so many shows that had not opened yet the last time I was in New York,
and that I wanted to see all of them, with the occasional passes of seeing the game during commercials,
did not give me the flavor of the game.
I am sharing the room that I am in with one other person.
And he had his TV set tuned to something completely other.
I didn't feel I had the right to say to him:
"Hey, how about putting on the game, so I could see that, too?"
Then, in the second quarter, purely on his on volition, he turned on the game.
At which point I separated the curtain between us, and was able to see both the game and the Tony Awards at the same time.
This is something I never would have done if I was home.
If I was home, I would have TiVoed the one and watched the other live.
So this, in fact, was even better.
No, not worth the stroke. I'm just saying...
Did I mention that the Tony Awards was uniformly fabulous?
Just about every musical number they did from every show was magnificent.
Kristin Chenoweth and Alan Cumming were wonderful hosts; there was humor everywhere.
And there was practically no appearance by Nathan Lane, even.
But Larry David was there, and was totally hilarious.
I am planning my next trip to New York as soon as I am well enough to go.
It was a gift when I really needed one.
Yes, there were glitches.
You couldn't see the Memorial Reel. It was too small. But I'm just quibbling.
And after Tony's ended, I was able to concentrate solely on the NBA Finals.
which they went into overtime for the second time in a row.
Except, this time, the Cavs held on and pulled it out, something that nobody expected to happen.
Another gift.
That's some lot of gifts over the course of about three hours.
So we were able to turn a liability into an asset.
I can only wish you those kind of days.
P.S. I am feeling better day after day and able to do more things by myself.
Just today I was able to stand in the bathroom and shave myself
without having to hold on to anything.
This is major.
I appreciate all of your thoughtfulness and your kindness, and, once again, I will try to keep up the communication at this source.
Watch This Space.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Burying Another Lead
When I started talking about the stroke, I realized that there is key information I didn't tell you up front that is significantly more interesting than the stroke itself.
The stroke happened about a month ago at the end of April.
It was on a Saturday morning.
I'd had an MRI scheduled at the local hospital that morning for a minor backache that had practically vanished at that point.
But I had the appointment anyway, so, like a good boy scout, I went.
My wife was on a flight on the way back from a trip to India on business, so I was all alone in the house, and feeling very strange.
I had almost no balance and walking was extremely difficult.
Any sane human being at that point would have called an ambulance to take them to the hospital.
But me, being the schmuck that I was, I had no real sense of just how damaged I was at the time.
I attempted to guts it out by driving the mile or so to the hospital.
So I got behind the wheel, opened the garage door, started the engine, and drove.
My driving was no worse than it usually is.
This is an extremely accurate comment on my ability to drive to begin with.
Horrible.
I parked in one of the handicap spaces, right in front of the hospital, and practically crawled to the main entrance, where I virtually flopped down in front of the people who admit you.
They immediately saw the problem.
I didn't even get to mention the MRI to them.
It was certainly not high on my priorities at that point.
They glommed on to what the problem was, and I was quickly diagnosed with having had a stroke.
I was also met with incredulity, because I had driven myself to the hospital without any assistance.
That in itself in their eyes should have left me for dead.
As it turns out, I have been very lucky, and the stroke was a very minor one.
My speech is practically fully restored.
My walking is a work in progress, but we are all very optimistic about it.
Around here, I am considered to be this week's walking miracle. Or at least hobbling miracle.
I'll be happy to accept that title.
I am improving every day and the prognosis is very good for a full recovery.
I am still in a hospital, not the one I was in a few weeks ago, but a sub-acute facility.
Next time I am going to write about this facility, because I am very content with what they are doing here, and I need to describe the difference between where I started out and where I am now.
I hope to be writing more and more frequently as things improve.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
The stroke happened about a month ago at the end of April.
It was on a Saturday morning.
I'd had an MRI scheduled at the local hospital that morning for a minor backache that had practically vanished at that point.
But I had the appointment anyway, so, like a good boy scout, I went.
My wife was on a flight on the way back from a trip to India on business, so I was all alone in the house, and feeling very strange.
I had almost no balance and walking was extremely difficult.
Any sane human being at that point would have called an ambulance to take them to the hospital.
But me, being the schmuck that I was, I had no real sense of just how damaged I was at the time.
I attempted to guts it out by driving the mile or so to the hospital.
So I got behind the wheel, opened the garage door, started the engine, and drove.
My driving was no worse than it usually is.
This is an extremely accurate comment on my ability to drive to begin with.
Horrible.
I parked in one of the handicap spaces, right in front of the hospital, and practically crawled to the main entrance, where I virtually flopped down in front of the people who admit you.
They immediately saw the problem.
I didn't even get to mention the MRI to them.
It was certainly not high on my priorities at that point.
They glommed on to what the problem was, and I was quickly diagnosed with having had a stroke.
I was also met with incredulity, because I had driven myself to the hospital without any assistance.
That in itself in their eyes should have left me for dead.
As it turns out, I have been very lucky, and the stroke was a very minor one.
My speech is practically fully restored.
My walking is a work in progress, but we are all very optimistic about it.
Around here, I am considered to be this week's walking miracle. Or at least hobbling miracle.
I'll be happy to accept that title.
I am improving every day and the prognosis is very good for a full recovery.
I am still in a hospital, not the one I was in a few weeks ago, but a sub-acute facility.
Next time I am going to write about this facility, because I am very content with what they are doing here, and I need to describe the difference between where I started out and where I am now.
I hope to be writing more and more frequently as things improve.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
A Progress Report
I imagine that many of you out there are wondering how I am.
Considering what I have been through the past few weeks I would have to say I am in pretty good spirits.
The schedule now is to release me from the hospital next Saturday.
Even though the nursing staff has been first rate I can't wait to go home.
Most of the staff have been very nice to me.
Quite a few are very attractive.
Which is a bonus.
I look around and I see people in far worse shape than I'm in.
I was thinking recently about several well-known people who have died or have been on the verge of dying for quite a while and their varying outlooks towards death as it approaches.
One of them is Sam Simon who was one of the main creators of THE SIMPSONS.
He spent the last few years of his life attempting to give away all of his money to charitable causes.
Valerie Harper, who apparently has terminal cancer, has been relentlessly optimistic about it and has outlived her diagnosis considerably.
Alan Jay Lerner, who wrote the book and lyrics for My Fair Lady, spent opening night of My Fair Lady wracked in sobs because he felt that he had peaked as far as anything he might do again in his life.
The person who discovered him sobbing like that was his wife at the time. Her name was Nancy Olson. She was best known for playing Betty Schaefer in the movie Sunset Boulevard.
Even though Gigi and Camelot were soon to follow, I suppose to him they still did not top My Fair Lady; apparently it didn't matter to him.
And my attitude about all this used to be:
You know, I kinda get it. Yeah, it's pretty impressive to have written My Fair Lady. But if you can still not appreciate it for what it is then you live with the consequences and perhaps your life is the lesser for it.
However, with my stroke I now have more of an opinion about Alan Jay Lerner.
I think he was full of beans.
And it was really much more of a case of being grateful for what you have and what you have accomplished than what you haven't.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Considering what I have been through the past few weeks I would have to say I am in pretty good spirits.
The schedule now is to release me from the hospital next Saturday.
Even though the nursing staff has been first rate I can't wait to go home.
Most of the staff have been very nice to me.
Quite a few are very attractive.
Which is a bonus.
I look around and I see people in far worse shape than I'm in.
I was thinking recently about several well-known people who have died or have been on the verge of dying for quite a while and their varying outlooks towards death as it approaches.
One of them is Sam Simon who was one of the main creators of THE SIMPSONS.
He spent the last few years of his life attempting to give away all of his money to charitable causes.
Valerie Harper, who apparently has terminal cancer, has been relentlessly optimistic about it and has outlived her diagnosis considerably.
Alan Jay Lerner, who wrote the book and lyrics for My Fair Lady, spent opening night of My Fair Lady wracked in sobs because he felt that he had peaked as far as anything he might do again in his life.
The person who discovered him sobbing like that was his wife at the time. Her name was Nancy Olson. She was best known for playing Betty Schaefer in the movie Sunset Boulevard.
Even though Gigi and Camelot were soon to follow, I suppose to him they still did not top My Fair Lady; apparently it didn't matter to him.
And my attitude about all this used to be:
You know, I kinda get it. Yeah, it's pretty impressive to have written My Fair Lady. But if you can still not appreciate it for what it is then you live with the consequences and perhaps your life is the lesser for it.
However, with my stroke I now have more of an opinion about Alan Jay Lerner.
I think he was full of beans.
And it was really much more of a case of being grateful for what you have and what you have accomplished than what you haven't.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
I've Had Better Weekends.
Okay, I'll get right to the trivia question.
Nobody came close to getting the entire answer.
There were some nice tries, and there were lots of things that could be looked up.
Only Nick had one set of correct answers. He identified "Sheldrake" as the last name used in three Wilder movies: "Sunset Boulevard","Kiss Me, Stupid", and "The Apartment".
The other two answers are as follows:
In "Double Indemnity" Fred MacMurray and Edward G. Robinson worked for the Pacific All-Risk Insurance Co.
In "Ace In the Hole" (a.k.a.) "The Big Carnival", Frank Cady, the bald guy from "Petticoat Junction" and "Green Acres", was
interviewed by a local reporter. When asked where he worked, he replied "The Pacific All-Risk Insurance Company.
And last, the theme music for "Stalag 17" is "When Johnny Comes Marching Home".
In "The Fortune Cookie", Jack Lemmon's wife lands a local TV singing commercial for Lindenbaum's Linoleum.
It's to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home".
So that's that.
The rest of the weekend was a lot more ominous.
Saturday morning, I had a stroke.
My speech is slurred, and my walking is almost non-existent.
I may have to take a vacation from the blog.
I'll try to keep you posted. In the interim feel free to e-mail me.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Nobody came close to getting the entire answer.
There were some nice tries, and there were lots of things that could be looked up.
Only Nick had one set of correct answers. He identified "Sheldrake" as the last name used in three Wilder movies: "Sunset Boulevard","Kiss Me, Stupid", and "The Apartment".
The other two answers are as follows:
In "Double Indemnity" Fred MacMurray and Edward G. Robinson worked for the Pacific All-Risk Insurance Co.
In "Ace In the Hole" (a.k.a.) "The Big Carnival", Frank Cady, the bald guy from "Petticoat Junction" and "Green Acres", was
interviewed by a local reporter. When asked where he worked, he replied "The Pacific All-Risk Insurance Company.
And last, the theme music for "Stalag 17" is "When Johnny Comes Marching Home".
In "The Fortune Cookie", Jack Lemmon's wife lands a local TV singing commercial for Lindenbaum's Linoleum.
It's to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home".
So that's that.
The rest of the weekend was a lot more ominous.
Saturday morning, I had a stroke.
My speech is slurred, and my walking is almost non-existent.
I may have to take a vacation from the blog.
I'll try to keep you posted. In the interim feel free to e-mail me.
-----------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download it.
They can be downloaded on IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
Friday, May 1, 2015
Re-Climbing Mount Everest.
Once upon a time, before there was such a thing as an Internet, I was the King of Trivia.
I was the Sir Edmund Hillary to Trivia's Mount Everest.
And I knew who HE was without having to look it up.
But the Internet has now completely levelled the playing field.
ANYONE can be just as good a Trivia player as me just by pushing a couple of buttons on the computer machine.
Or, even more humiliating, the IPhone machine.
I had a major talent that no longer means anything.
But here I am today, making one last effort to scale Everest, with a Trivia Question, the answer to which can not be found by pushing
any amount of buttons on the computer machine.
I tried looking it up, and could not find the answers anywhere.
But I know them to be right.
AS usual, for me, they fall under the heading of Show Business Trivia.
You might consider this a revival of "This Week's Game", which I used to offer up regularly on weekends around here.
In order to get the correct answers, you either have to wrack your brain to come up with them, or you simply have to know it
through life experience.
This one ain't gonna be easy.
Okay, here goes:
Billy Wilder made at least three movies in which he made oblique references to three OTHER Billy Wilder movies.
They are all in the nature of "inside jokes'.
One each per movie.
Name each of the three movies.
Provide the oblique reference to the other movies.
Name the movies referred to.
And provide the oblique references.
Here's a clue: You won't be able to find it by Googling "What movies did Billy Wilder make where he referenced other Billy Wilder
movies?"
I tried that.
It wont help you.
Feel free to post any responses or questions in the Comments section.
As when we used to play "This Week's Game", I will offer a prize for the winner(s), not that I expect there to be any:
The same thing Jackie Gleason, on his variety show, as Stanley R. Sogg, the commercial pitchman on the Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late Show, used to offer to his audience:
As he put it,
"......and last but not least, a three-pound wedge of Fatchamarra's Matzaroni Cheese."
But there's no shipping.
You'll have to come to Chicago to pick it up.
And you have to say, out loud, and with expression, "I want my cheese!"
If I stump you all, I am re-claiming Everest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
I was the Sir Edmund Hillary to Trivia's Mount Everest.
And I knew who HE was without having to look it up.
But the Internet has now completely levelled the playing field.
ANYONE can be just as good a Trivia player as me just by pushing a couple of buttons on the computer machine.
Or, even more humiliating, the IPhone machine.
I had a major talent that no longer means anything.
But here I am today, making one last effort to scale Everest, with a Trivia Question, the answer to which can not be found by pushing
any amount of buttons on the computer machine.
I tried looking it up, and could not find the answers anywhere.
But I know them to be right.
AS usual, for me, they fall under the heading of Show Business Trivia.
You might consider this a revival of "This Week's Game", which I used to offer up regularly on weekends around here.
In order to get the correct answers, you either have to wrack your brain to come up with them, or you simply have to know it
through life experience.
This one ain't gonna be easy.
Okay, here goes:
Billy Wilder made at least three movies in which he made oblique references to three OTHER Billy Wilder movies.
They are all in the nature of "inside jokes'.
One each per movie.
Name each of the three movies.
Provide the oblique reference to the other movies.
Name the movies referred to.
And provide the oblique references.
Here's a clue: You won't be able to find it by Googling "What movies did Billy Wilder make where he referenced other Billy Wilder
movies?"
I tried that.
It wont help you.
Feel free to post any responses or questions in the Comments section.
As when we used to play "This Week's Game", I will offer a prize for the winner(s), not that I expect there to be any:
The same thing Jackie Gleason, on his variety show, as Stanley R. Sogg, the commercial pitchman on the Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late, Late Show, used to offer to his audience:
As he put it,
"......and last but not least, a three-pound wedge of Fatchamarra's Matzaroni Cheese."
But there's no shipping.
You'll have to come to Chicago to pick it up.
And you have to say, out loud, and with expression, "I want my cheese!"
If I stump you all, I am re-claiming Everest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My books, "Show Runner" and it's sequel, "Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
They are all compilations of blog entries that have since been removed from the blog.
So this is the only way you can find them.
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne and Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperbacks, "Mark Rothman's Essays" and my new novel, "I'm Not Garbo" are not e-books.
I have many readings and signings lined up for those, and the thing about Kindle is that you can't sign one.
But they are available for people without Kindle.
If you'd like one of the paperbacks, personally autographed, contact me at macchus999@aol.com
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne and Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.
*****
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