Playing To The Band.

You've got to hand it to David Letterman.
Monday and Tuesday night, in the middle of the hurricane, he did his usual show.
Only without an audience.
Without changing any other elements of his show, which has always been designed for a
live audience.
This takes balls.
But Dave has always been a trailblazer.
And he has always looked for ways to push the envelope.
So he sat in the massive Ed Sullivan Theater, without an audience, reading his usual monologue jokes, off of index cards.
To the band.
He literally played to the band.
Metaphorically, this has always been the hippest thing in show business.
He brought the metaphor to life.
And it was great.

A friend of mine recently sent me a DVD of Saturday Morning kiddie shows that I grew up with, and it displayed interesting variations of the use of form and content.
The first thing I watched was an episode of "Kukla, Fran, and Ollie.
This was a show that I had remembered fondly from my early childhood.
Essentially, a puppet show, Kukla appeared to be a clown puppet, Ollie was a dragon,
and Fran, Fran Allison, was a human being.
What "Kukla, Fran, and Ollie" had going for it was its charm, and its artistry.
Burr Tillstrom, the puppeteer, did every puppets voice, and there were a lot of them.
Fran Allison supplied the charm, which she had in abundance.
It was a pleasure to watch.
But about halfway during its thirty minutes, something occurred to me.
They were all completely WINGING IT!
There was no script.
There were no jokes.
There were no attempts at jokes.
Tillstrom couldn't have been working with a script, because he never had a hand free to turn the pages.
The only way to do this show was to wing it.
As a result, along with the charm and artistry, there was an awful lot of yakking.
This made it something less than compelling viewing.
I went to Wikipedia, where they confirmed that the show was completely improvised.
All the time.
It's the only way they could have made it work.
I didn't realize that when I was six.
It didn't have an audience, and didn't need one.

Then I saw an episode of "Howdy Doody"
This was the complete antithesis of "Kukla, Fran, and Ollie"
It was heavily scripted.
It had to be.
Buffalo Bob Smith did the voice of Howdy Doody, and in order to accomplish this,
they could never hold Bob and Howdy in a two-shot while they were conversing.
So the direction was tricky, and Bob had to know his lines and Howdy's lines, and exactly when they came in.
"Howdy Doody", in retrospect, was not a very good show.
It had charm.
Nobody was more charming than Buffalo Bob.
But it had no artistry.
Instead, it had a "Peanut Gallery" of little kids to serve as a live audience.
I can't imagine Buffalo Bob doing a show if Hurricane Sandy showed up and kept the kids home.

Then, there was an episode of "The Soupy Sales Show"
Soupy ONLY played to the band.
The band, in this case, was his crew.
He always managed to make his crew laugh.
This was much of the fun.
He also played directly to the camera, but that didn't prevent the crew from laughing their heads off.
So I guess Soupy was the pioneer in this regard.
But Dave did what he did in a huge empty theatre.
That, to me, was even more impressive.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Respectfulness.

When I was in Junior High School, I had an English Teacher named Mrs. Jackson.
Mrs. Jackson thought that she was precious and adorable.
Also in this class was her son, Tony.
Tony also thought his mother was precious and adorable.
Tony also thought that HE was precious and adorable.
Mrs. Jackson also thought that Tony was precious and adorable.
It was not at all a problem for Tony to be in his mothers English class.
I, of course, thought neither one of them was precious or adorable.
But I slogged through the class nevertheless.

One day, Mrs. Jackson announced a homework assignment:
"Go to your local library and check out a play to read. You're all going to see
what it's like to read a play."
Fair enough.
This did not seem to be any problem that I could foresee.
So I went to my local library, and asked the librarian where I could find plays.
She directed me to the 800 section.
Not having the slightest clue of what I should be looking for, because none was
provided, I extracted from the shelves a play entitled "The Respectful Prostitute"
by Jean-Paul Sartre.
I must have been about twelve.
I had no idea who Jean-Paul Sartre was.
I had no idea what a prostitute was.
I sort of had an idea of what "respectful" was.
So I bring "The Respectful Prostitute", by Jean-Paul Sartre, up to the check-out
desk, where they happily checked it out for me.
Mrs. Jackson had preciously and adorably asked us each to bring in the plays we had chosen to read.
I, quite innocently, handed her my copy of "The Respectful Prostitute" by Jean-Paul
Sartre.
She took one look at me, and said "Where the heck did you get your hands on Jean-Paul
Sartre?"
I explained "At the Glen Oaks Library."
Which summons up the question: "What kind of dumbbells do they have working at
libraries?"
Mrs. Jackson summarily dismissed me with "Go return it and bring back something else."
With no further explanation.
Now, she had not given us any guidelines as to what sort of play we should be looking for.
I'll give it to her that nobody else in the class had that problem.
But in retrospect, it would seem likely that the odds would dictate that SOMEBODY
would.
In this case, that somebody would be me.
Shouldn't she have given us a list of acceptable playwrights?
Such as Mary Chase? Or Kaufman and Hart? or Thorton Wilder?
I'm sure that Tennessee Williams would have been off limits too, unless someone had brought in "The Glass Menagerie"
But no. She didn't.
And she left me out there, twisting in the wind, to be thoroughly embarrassed in front of the class, who didn't even know why I was being embarrassed, nor did I.
So I didn't know who Sartre was, and I didn't know what a prostitute was.
But I knew what respect was, and I sure knew I wasn't getting any.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

The Top Five.

Here they are, and then we will be done with it.

In descending order, from number 5 to number 1, with 1 being my all-time favorite.

5- "Kings Row"

This score was composed by the great Erich Wolfgang Korngold, primarily know for his
scores for Errol Flynn swashbucklers, and for "The Adventures of Robin Hood", where Errol also swashed and buckled.
"Kings Row" didn't have Errol Flynn.
It starred Ronald Reagan.
Draw that one on a graph.
"Kings Row" was a 1940's precursor to "Peyton Place", a sudsy, soapy potboiler, not very good, notable for Reagan waking up, not knowing his legs had been amputated, and
crying out to Ann Sheridan "Randy! Where's the rest of me?!"
It wasn't there.
But that great Korngold score was there.
Far better than that picture deserved.
Far better than anything else he ever wrote.
Far better than almost anything.

4- "The Bad And The Beautiful"

Awesome score by David Raksin for a very good movie about Hollywood backstabbing,
made in the early 1950's.
The movie seems a little dated now, as Hollywood backstabbing has become a far more refined artform.
Almost downright respectable.
But the lush, bluesy score that Raksin turned out is memorable and timeless.

3- "Friendly Persuasion"

Dmitri Tiomkin's masterpiece.
Gary Cooper and Anthony Perkins in a drama about a family of Quakers getting caught
up in the Civil War.
Really good movie, totally enhanced by Tiomkin's score and title song, sung by Pat
Boone, at his golden-throated best.
Pat even got a hit record from the title song, "Thee I Love"

2- "The Big Country"

Picking between number 2 and number 1 was really tough.
It was practically "flip a coin"
I ended up choosing "The Big Country" as number two.
It is probably the most impressive, influential musical theme ever.
"The Magnificent Seven" and "Blazing Saddles" were direct descendants.
It was composed by Jerome Moross, who never really composed anything else for the
movies, and only a handful of TV westerns.
The theme for this very long western is huge, sprawling, and dramatic.
The movie is only huge, sprawling, and long.
Another case of the theme being far better than the movie.

1- "The Rainmaker"

From 1956, starring Burt Lancaster and Katherine Hepburn.
I sat and listened back and forth between this score, by Alex North, and "The Big
Country" to determine 1 and 2.
I finally went with "The Rainmaker", because as good as "The Big Country" is musically, it doesn't move me.
"The Rainmaker" is a great movie.
It moves me.
And it's theme music moves me even more, and makes a great movie almost infinitely greater.

That's it.
Next time, I will actually write about something else.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Reaching The Promised Land.

Here we go with numbers 10 through 6 of my Top Ten Favorite Movie Themes.
As we descend down the page, the choices, to me, are more worthy.

10- "Street Scene"

It's originally from a movie made in 1931, composed by Alfred Newman (Randy's uncle).
It is the definitive "We are in New York City, looking at the Brooklyn Bridge spanning the East River from the Brooklyn side, so we can see Manhattan" movie theme.
It was also used as the theme of the film-noir "I Wake Up Screaming", and maybe others that I don't know about.
It was also used as a pure overture, in it's entirety, for the movie "How To Marry
A Millionaire"
It's there, as are all the others, on You Tube, if you are unfamiliar with it, and want to hear it.

9- "Johnny Belinda"

My first Max Steiner entry, which, if you are an aficianado, might think the other's gonna be "Gone With The Wind"
It ain't.
You don't need me to tell you that "Gone With The Wind" has a great musical theme.
The main point here is to enlighten.
"Johnny Belinda" is a very touching, very poignant film, with a musical theme to match.

8- "Now, Voyager"

This is the other Max Steiner entry.
It makes the movie.
No other piece of music could have justified Paul Henried lighting two cigarettes
in is mouth and giving one of them to Bette Davis to puff on, and doing it all with
a straight face.

7- "Shane"

The theme is by Victor Young, and without that ending music, as Alan Ladd is riding off on his horse, into the distance, and young Brandon DeWilde is crying out "Shane! Come back Shane! Shane! Come back!", I never would have been reduced to mush.

6- "Cat Ballou"

I've been trying to find a way to squeeze this one at least into the Top Five, but
I just couldn't find a way.
Nat King Cole and Stubby Kaye as two balladeers, setting up the entire movie in song.
It's a wonderful movie, and would be without their contribution.
But this was just wonderful icing on the cake.
The only sad part about it was that Nat King Cole had already died of cancer by the
time "Cat Ballou" was released.
But time has a way of making that less painful.

Next time, the Top Five.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Towards More Rarefied Air.

Here are the last five Honorables.
Any one of them could have easily made my Top Ten.
But I had to draw the line somewhere.

I'll list them in descending order numerically, from 5 to 1, from least well Honorable to Best well Honorable.

5- "The Catered Affair"

A terrific movie.
One of Bette Davis's best performances.
Accompanied by a musical theme that captures its atmosphere perfectly .
It sounds very Irish, as are the characters.
It stays with you.
At least it stayed with me.
The theme is by Andre Previn, but doesn't seem very Previn-like.

4- "The Court Jester"

ALL of the songs in this great Danny Kaye musical are wonderful.
But the opening song, which bookends the film, and thus is the theme, is my favorite.
It's called "Life Could Not Better Be", and has Kaye introducing the movie to the audience.
The songs are credited to Sylvia Fine and Sammy Cahn.
As Cahn is only a lyricist, I suspect that Fine did all the music.
As the lyrics are so good, I suspect that Fine is also the lyricist.
And that maybe Cahn had his hand in some of the ballads.

3- "East of Eden"

The 1955 version, starring James Dean,
With a very atmospheric theme.
Not dissimilar to the theme for "The Catered Affair"
It was written by a great composer, Leonard Rosenman, who also wrote the theme for
"Edge of the City"
Again, it's very Irish.

2- "Rebel Without A Cause"

It's the James Dean, Leonard Rosenman hour.
The "Rebel" theme is, in my humble opinion, way better than the "East of Eden" theme.
In his brief career, James Dean was very well served musically.

1- "Picnic"

What a lush score this is!
And the highlight of the film is the slow dance between William Holden and Kim Novak
to the theme music, used contrapuntally with the standard song "Moonglow"
It is an unforgettable scene, and an unforgettable use of music.


Next time, we start the Top Ten.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Yet Even Better Honorables.

I'll offer up four today, then next time, we'll have the last five Honorables,
then the actual Top Ten.

Continuing on:

"Calamity Jane"

One of the best movie musicals ever, certainly one of the most underrated.
Made during the glory days of the Freed Unit at MGM.
Only it wasn't made at MGM, or by Freed.
It was made at Warner Brothers.
The only superior movie musical made by Warners at that time.
It starred Doris Day, who was in lots o' musicals made there around that time.
Only they weren't any good.
And most of them co-starred Gordon MacRae.
But "Calamity Jane" was terrific.
And had Howard Keel, a veteran of MGM musicals, instead of Gordon MacRae.
It was a better fit.
The theme music was whistled by a chorus.
It was a version of the opening song, "Whip Crack Away".
This led us into Doris singing "Whip Crack Away", which was even better.

"The Misfits"

A great, haunting score by my favorite movie composer, Alex North.
Alex north also composed the score for "Spartacus", and my favorite TV theme,
"Playhouse 90"
"The Misfits" is the kind of movie that, the more often you see it, the more
affected you are by it.
The same can be said for the music.

"The Magnificent Seven"

Certainly a classic, and would have been even more prestigious if it hadn't been
appropriated by Marlboro cigarettes for their commercials all those years.
But in my mind, not even in the top three themes for Westerns.
Those will follow as we proceed on.

"The High And The Mighty"

Dmitri Tiomkin should be represented here, if only for how prolific he was.
The main appeal is the title song, which completely dominates a very entertaining
movie.
I believe there were even hit singles turned out of it during its time.

Okay,
That's it for now.
But we're pounding down the Honorables homestretch.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

More And Better Honorables.

Continuing on, in order of weakest to strongest:

"Blazing Saddles"

Having Frankie Laine sing what was essentially a cross between "Rawhide" and
"Do not forsake me" for a joke movie was inspired.
Even more so, because nobody told Frankie that it was a joke movie.
So he sang it straight.
He sang his straight little heart out.
And it was glorious.

"Requiem For A Heavyweight"

Not the TV play, but the movie, with Anthony Quinn, Jackie Gleason, and Mickey
Rooney.
Far superior to the TV play on all levels, notably the music, by Laurence Rosenthal.
It began without music, as we saw a fight from Anthony Quinn's eyes, as he is getting
beat up by a pre-Ali Cassius Clay.
The fight is stopped, and when Quinn gets back to his dressing room and stares at the
bloody mess he has become, the theme music starts, as do the opening credits.
The music is awesome, and the effect is as dramatic as anything.

"Spartacus"

Would actually rate higher if the Love theme was used as the main theme.
The main theme is good, but the Love theme blows it away.

"A Summer Place"

I never saw this movie.
I only know it from the hit single put out by Percy Faith, which is how I assume it was used in the movie.
It is quite appealing.

"The Sting"

A classic.
Not original.
It had been around since the early 1900s.
It's all in Marvin Hamlisch's great arrangement of it.
And it's great.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Posted

Back To The Movie Themes Honorables.

Plenty of Honorables left before we get to the Top Ten.

In descending order, from least honorable to most:

"Ruby Gentry"

David O. Selznick's sequel to "Duel In The Sun", at least in the sense that it gave him an
opportunity to once again star his wife, Jennifer Jones, in a western.
It had a haunting theme, that you'd probably recognize immediately.
Ray Charles made a great recording of it.

"Laura"

A classic. Composed by David Raksin, about whom not enough can be said.
And I will say more about him as we continue along.
Johnny Mercer wrote the lyric, which I believe was not used in the film, but came afterwards.

"High Noon"

Another classic.
Very sparse orchestration, if there was any at all.
A lot of people, myself included, thought the song, "Do not forsake me" was sung
by Frankie Laine.
Frankie subsequently had a hit record on it, but in the movie, it was sung by John
Ritter's father, Tex.

"High Society"

From the overture, with its Cole Porter score, through it's "High Society Calypso"
performed by Louis Armstrong and his musicians on the bus, through every other song
in the score, it just dazzles.
The music was the the only improvement on the source material, "The Philadelphia Story",
which otherwise leaves "High Society" in the dust.

"Edge Of The City"

Great theme for a David Susskind produced, socially conscious, racially tinged,
poor mans version of "On The Waterfront"
Actually, "On The Waterfront" was Mitt Romney's version of "Edge of the City"
"Edge of the City" reeks of importance.

More next time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Olé! Oy Vey!

We're not going to be about music today.
We're going to be about baseball.
As someone who has spent the better part of ten years in Detroit, watching the
Tigers and getting nauseous, allow me to indicate my perpetual disappointment in the
way their manager, Jim Leyland, handles his pitchers.
Particularly his relievers.
Particularly his closer, Jose (Papa Grande) Valverde.
Your closer is supposed to be your best one-inning pitcher.
A closer's battle ribbons are Saves.
Valverde has garnered a lot of Saves.
But every time Leyland brings him into a game in a Save situation, the 45,000 fans
in Comerica Park have their hearts in their mouths.
Because he almost invariably, immediately, gets himself into trouble.
But because Comerica, the Tigers home park, is so huge, he rarely gives up home runs,
and gets himself out of the trouble he created, just well enough to Save the day.
Just like Mighty Mouse.
But last night, at Yankee Stadium, a much easier park to hit Home Runs in, Valverde
gave up two two-run homers to allow the Yankees to tie up the game.
The thing is, in both instances, those Home Runs would have been easy outs in Comerica.
Just two nights earlier, Valverde did the same thing in Oakland, blowing the Save and the game.
Oakland isn't an easy park for Home Runs either, but far easier than Comerica.
The Yankees have always had a history of having their best pitchers be Lefthanders.
Whitey Ford, Ron Guidry, C.C. Sabathia....
This is no accident.
It's a lot harder to hit Home Runs off a Lefty in Yankee Stadium.
Both the old version and the new.
They've always tailored their park to Lefthanded pitching
There is far more distance to the left field power alleys than to right field.
Any righty is vulnerable there.
Valverde in Yankee Stadium becomes just any other righty.
Both of the Home Runs hit off him last night were easily catchable if they were hit
in Comerica.
They were hit to the shallow portions of right field.
So I don't really blame Valverde.
I blame Leyland.
He exposed Valverde to his most major weakness.
So what do you do about it?
Well, the Tigers came back and won last night's game, one which I'd already written
off, by bringing in one of their spot starters.
A guy named Smyly.
A lefty.
He just came in and got the win.
So what do you do for the rest of the series?
If you're Leyland, you sit down with Papa Grande, and you tell him "We're not taking
your job away from you. But we're only going to let you pitch at Comerica. No more
Yankee Stadium for you.
When we're here, Smyly will be the closer.
As a starter, he's capable of going two innings a game.
And if Valverde had any sense, he'd reply "Whatever you say, skipper."
The only question left is "Will Leyland have any sense?"
It's not rocket science.
It's baseball science.

More music on Tuesday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Let's Go To The Movies.

I was pleased with most of what went on baseball and debate-wise, so I'm going right to the first several
Honorable Mentions for my favorite movie themes.

Remember, this is all subjective.
And open to debate.
I hope there will be some.
This is purely a list of my favorites.
Not necessarily the best.
That's why I'm offering up this much of a spoiler alert:
None of the choices will include anything by John Williams.
Yeah, most of them were great.
And impressive.
But none of them get to me emotionally.

As of now, I have a total of 29 entries.
I'll attempt to count them down, from leas honorable to most.

And so, we begin.

"The Man With The Golden Arm"

Great jazzy score that really enhanced the film. and put composer Elmer Bernstein on the map.

"Spellbound"

Bernard Herrmann's greatest haunting score for a Hitchcock film.
Much better than his work on "Citizen Kane, which required making up a musical style for a film that really didn't have one.

"Our Town"

From 1940. Aaron Copland's only real attempt at composing film scores, and his fingerprints are all over it.
It is highly dramatic, and gorgeous at the same time.

"On The Waterfront"

From 1954. Everything I said about about "Our Town" and Copland applies to
"On The Waterfront" and Leonard Bernstein as well.

"The Andy Hardy Series"

They used the same theme music for each of the movies.
And it was always like visiting an old friend.
One brief note about the Andy Hardy series.
Th New York Post used to provide mini-descriptions of the movies they were showing each night.
Never attempting to be funny about it.
On one particular night, they were showing "Andy Hardy Meets Debutante"
The description was "Short boy enters Society"

I leave you with that until next time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Still Stoppin' The Music.

Too many ballgames to watch today.
Still too aggravated about the Tigers' loss to Oakland last night.
Too interested in seeing the debate tonight.
If I have nothin' any of the above, I'll start the "Favorite Movie Themes" tomorrow.
Sorry.
It's the best I can do.

Go Giants! Go Cardinals! Go Orioles! Go Biden! Go Tigers!


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Still Relevant?

As Jimmy Durante was wont to say, "Stop the Music! Stop the Music!"

I know I was going to start the series on my favorite movie themes, but something else came up that perhaps deserves your attention.

I have a reader who has purchased all of my e-books, and e-mails me regularly on her reactions to whatever articles she has just read.
She was reading the first "Show Runner", and was about to get to an article entitled "The Claude Rains Moment"
I warned her that it might seem a little dated, because it is political in nature.
It talks a lot about McCain and Palin.
She read it, and corrected me.
She said that it was overwhelmingly relevant.
She said it is probably more relevant now than ever.
Just substitute any Republican for McCain.
Or particularly any Republican named Mitt Romney.
As this article is no longer available on the blog, I'm going to reprint it in its
entirety and let you decide.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I'm sure you all remember Claude Rains.
One of our great movie actors.
Not really a movie star, although he did occasionally play leads.
He was usually remembered for his great supporting roles in movies that starred others.
Most notably, "Casablanca", as Louie, the corrupt Prefect of Police.
When he conducts a mock "raid" on Bogart's backroom casino at "Rick's", he says
"I'm shocked! Shocked, to discover that gambling has been going on in this establishment!"
At which point, the croupier approaches him and says "Your winnings, sir".
He hands him his winnings and Rains says "Thank you very much."

For a lot of people, that is their favorite Claude Rains moment.
For others, it is the very end of "Casablanca", when Rains and Bogart walk arm-in-arm away from the camera as Bogart says " Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship".

Most movie actors don't even have one memorable moment like those two.
This is the kind of thing that immortalizes you.

But neither one of these is my favorite Claude Rains moment.
Nor are they the ones that have consumed my thoughts lately.

My favorite Claude Rains moment is from the movie "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington".
In that movie, he plays Senator Joseph Paine, the well-meaning but ultimately corrupt Senator who is under the thumb of political boss Jim Taylor, played with utter oiliness by Edward Arnold.
Jimmy Stewart, who becomes the Junior senator from Paines' state, idolizes Paine.
Circumstances force Stewart to filibuster the Senate.
Probably the last good filibuster we've had, even though it was fictional.
Paine is forced to stand by as Taylor's political machine steamrollers over Stewart, trashing him in the press, nearly defeating him.
Until.
Until Paine abruptly rises from his seat in the Senate and says the equivalent of "I don't deserve to live! That boy is right! Everything he's saying is right!"
He storms out of the Senate and attempts to take his own life by shooting himself.
For whatever reason, he fails at this attempt.

With all that has gone on in the Healthcare and the Debt Ceiling debate with Republicans, the bystanding as the President is being called a Nazi or a Socialist or a foreigner every day, and all the baldface lying , such as not denying the concept of death panels, calling global warming a hoax, claiming that there were no terrorist attacks under Bush-Cheney, that the economy hasn't improved when it has, pouncing on everything constructive just for the sport of it, I keep waiting for some responsible Republican to have that Claude Rains moment.
To have that moment when they exhibit that moment of conscience that you know they have, but don't want to show because possibly saving their own political skin is more important.
To jump out of their seats and say "Yes! We're full of shit! Don't listen to us! We're just looking to line our own pockets!

I'm not talking about the Limbaughs or the Becks or the Palins or the Jim Bunnings, or the little FOXes. Those with absolutely no consciences.
I guess I'm thinking more about someone like Mitt Romney.
Someone who passed a Healthcare bill in his own state, and is now trying to disavow it.
But it's probably too much to expect there.
I mean, this is a man who might possibly actually have a chance to be elected President.

I guess who I'm really thinking about is John McCain.
His chance came and went, and he knows it.
He was, at one time, highly respected. Just like Joseph Paine.
But then, he was in the primary fight of his life to be elected Senator from Arizona for the umpteenth time.
For this goal, he was willing to sabotage anything that might get done in the Senate, deny his entire history as a "Maverick", piss on the country and the Constitution, just so he might hold on to his goddamn Senate seat.
This is the man who kept saying "Country First".
Maybe he'll even deny that he was a war hero if he thinks that would help him.
Maybe he needn't bother.
From what I hear, he was a rotten pilot, which is why he crashed and was captured.
And that his fellow prisoners weren't too keen on him either.
But giving him the benefit of the doubt that at least some time in his life he was brave,
how important can that fackockta Senate seat be to him at this point?
His wife is loaded.
He can retire handsomely.
And if he goes out with the Claude Rains moment, without the gunshots, he can retire with dignity.
And really be a hero.

******

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Still Got The Music In Me.

This is a prelude and introduction to the next series of posts relating to music.

Since I did the "Top Ten TV Themes" series, and got great response on it, I've decided to do the same thing with Movie Themes.
As I was compiling the great TV themes, I kept noticing how many great movie composers contributed to them.
And it got a little confusing.
Was that from a movie, or a TV show?

So, beginning next time, I will begin with honorable mentions, eventually leading
up to the top ten movie themes of all time, according to me.

The one thing I won't do is compile a list for the Top Ten Worst Movie Themes of All
Time. For one simple reason.
I can't think of any.
The bad ones on TV stick with you because they are oft repeated, ad nauseum.
If you happen to hear a really bad movie theme, it's probably from a bad movie, and
you'll probably never hear it again, so it won't be memorable.
So we're only going positive with this.
There will be plenty of great movie themes mentioned.
I hope that they will be evocative, and if you are not familiar with them, you will
seek them out.

See you next time, as we once again get musical.
And I'm counting on Mike from Chicago to keep me honest in the comment section.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Such A Glorious Night......

The last night of the baseball season.
It was everything I hoped it would be.
By adding two extra Wild Card teams to the playoffs, Major League Baseball
virtually guaranteed a last night of the season to be as exciting as this one.
And it was.
It was glorious.
It began with Texas and Oakland, tied for first place in their division, playing
each other in the late afternoon, with the winner not having to face a one game
elimination in the Wild Card matchup.
Oakland was behind 4-1, and came back to win 12-5.
Those boys in the yellow shirts, in Oakland, before the home folks, went crazy.
Glorious.
St. Louis, ahead of the Dodgers by one, lost their game to Cincinnati.
This gave the Dodgers a chance to survive by beating the Giants at home.
They lost 4-3.
Glorious.
Any time the Dodgers lose like that, it's glorious.
The Yankees, who earned their division title, won it in grand fashion, needing only a win to avoid being the Wild Card.
If the Yankees had lost and Baltimore, who were luckier than you could possibly
imagine, had won, Baltimore would have tied the Yankees and forced a one-game
playoff. This would have been a travesty.
Plus, I won money on all of these games.
And my Detroit local boy, Miguel Cabrera, finished up the night winning the
Triple Crown. Something that hasn't happened in 45 years.
So, a glorious night.

Until that shitcrap debate happened.
What the hell went on there?
Only Romney showed up.
Jim Lehrer wasn't there.
He and Obama were somewhere where Lehrer and Obama were stepping on Obama's dick.
Lehrer only asked softball, boring questions, designed to let Romney the businessman
show off his business and lying skills.
Neither Lehrer or Obama called him on any of it.
Romney kept denying that he was asking for a 5 trillion dollar tax cut.
What he wanted was a 20% across-the-board tax cut.
Why didn't someone turn to Romney and ask "How much money did the IRS take
in last year, of course, not including uncollectable money from the Cayman Islands?"
Romney wouldn't have the answer.
Either Lehrer or Obama would, and tell him.
And say "You know what 20% of that total is? 5 trillion dollars!"
Why didn't Obama ask Romney if he would have voted the same way as the Republican congress, turning down the Jobs bill for Veterans?"
I guess that would have been too revealing.
And too interesting.
And someone arranged the cameras to make it appear that Romney was always facing
Obama and Obama always had his back to Romney, which was clearly not the case.
Hell, Romney was practically likeable.
Even to ME.
But then, I've always liked Professor Harold Hill.
Where was Bain Capital? The 47%? Romney's tax returns?
Hell, where was Bill Clinton when we needed him?

What's the opposite of glorious?


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

The Most Idiotic Acting Note I Have Ever Given.

Do you remember a movie called "The Lady Eve"?

It was and is a great movie.
It was released in 1941.
Preston Sturges wrote and directed it.
It was when Sturges was THE best comedy director alive.
It starred Henry Fonda and Barbara Stanwyck.
The were both brilliant.
The script, the pacing, and the direction were all brilliant.
William Demarest was also in it.
HE was brilliant.

So I'm watching this now 71 year old movie on Turner Classics recently.
And there is this scene between Fonda and Stanwyck.
Fonda plays a wealthy heir to a brewery, who is completely smitten by Stanwyck,
who is a con-woman.
Her nickname for him is "Hopsie"
They are on an ocean liner, where Stanwyck and her father, Charles Coburn, are successful cardsharps.
Fonda is picked up from a flatboat near the Amazon River, where, being a snake fancier,
he has been adding rare snakes to his collection.
The scene I referred to takes place as Stanwyck invites Fonda down to her cabin aboard
ship.
Fonda is gaga over her perfume.
As Fonda is mooning over her, Stanwyck turns to him and asks "What's the matter,
Hopsie? Don't you like my perfume?"
Fonda replies "Oh, it's not that. It's just, well, I've been up the Amazon the last two years, and they don't wear perfume."
He said this somewhat matter-of-factly, with no change of expression, and the line kind
of passes into the night.
Unfortunately, I can't watch anything without my Show Runner or Director's hat on.
So when I saw Fonda say that line, I actually yelled at the screen, "No, Hank, when
you say "I've been up the Amazon the last two years, you've got to pause and
reflect before you say ...and they don't wear perfume." This way we see that you have a vivid remembrance of just how
badly those natives smell. And it's much funnier."

I was giving an acting note to a dead actor for a movie made 71 years ago.
Where there were no chances for retakes.
How idiotic was that?
My only consolation is that I was right.
Sometimes it just does you a fat lot of good being right.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

The Kind Of Dumbness You Couldn't Have Had Five Years Ago.

I have a feeling that this one will be relatively brief.

This is a wondrous age that we live in,what with the Internet, and Tivo.
Particularly Tivo.
Not only can you record shows to watch whenever you want to, but if you forget to set the Tivo for something,
most cable services provide something called "On Demand", so you can catch up with that show.
Hell, a lot of the times, you can catch up on an entire series that way.
If someone whose opinion you trust clues you in on a series that you decided not to
try, it's there waiting for you on "On Demand".
It's a Godsend.
Ordinarily.
If somebody at the cable service doesn't do something completely moronic to muck it up.
My cable system is A,T,&T U-Verse.
They do it just fine.
But I have a friend who doesn't have A,T,&T U-Verse.
She has another cable service, that has a monopoly on her area.
I don't know if I should mention it by name.
It rhymes with "Fomcast"
There. That should disguise it well enough.
So I recommended a series to my friend, and she hadn't seen any episodes, and my recommendation got her
all excited to catch up on the series from the beginning.
So she went to her Fomcast "On Demand" section, and whattya know?
All the episodes were there, waiting to be demanded.
For free.
She was thrilled.
Only one problem, though.
The episodes were not listed by date, sequentially.
They were listed ALPHABETICALLY. BY EPISODE TITLE!
How does this conceivably help anyone?
Who knows what specific episodes to series are titled anyway?
They're never listed anywhere.
No.
You go to "On Demand" to watch series episodes from earliest to latest.
Or at least earliest to latest by season.
But those clueless folks at Fomcast list the episodes by EPISODE TITLE!
ALPHABETICALLY!
Somebody actually thought that this was the way to do this.
And somebody else above that person actually approved it.
I don't know how many times I can repeat this to demonstrate what morons they are for thinking this way.
ALPHABETICALLY. BY EPISODE TITLE!
And they've put it into practice!
This leaves the viewer only one option:
To go to the Internet IMDB page for the series, and hope that it lists the episodes by sequence, and then seek it out on Fomcast's "On Demand"
But should you really have to do all that going and hoping and seeking?
"On Demand", as they always tell you in their ads, was designed to make your life
easier.
With Fomcast, it only makes your life more frustrated, aggravating, and agitated.

The more that technology can advance, the more it leaves itself open for complete
nitwits to louse it up on a grand scale.

I've given up hope.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Why I Support The NFL Replacement Refs.

I want to register my opinion as soon as possible, before it becomes worthless by the imminent settlement between the Refs' Union and the NFL.

1- Paul Ryan wants the old refs back.

2- Scott Walker wants the old refs back.
The two union busters are just a couple of hypocrites, just because their precious Packers lost a game.

3- Who told the NFL not to train the new guys better? Why blame the new refs?

4- What if all the old refs were going to a refs convention and the plane crashes?
You'd need the new refs anyway.

5- Ten million Latinos are being disenfranchised from voting, and we're caring about a few lousy blown calls?

6- Too many people think they are the old refs. If you dressed them differently, say, in Renaissance Costumes, everyone would have better perspective.
And more forgiving.

7- The old refs made a lot of bad calls too. Maybe not so often, but maybe theee guys are just working out the kinks.

8- What's wrong with "Right-to-work states? Or a "Right to work country"?

9- These men are risking their lives out there. Aren't they entitled to be as brave as our G.I.s in Afghanistan?
Maybe they were turned down for flat feet.
Or poor eyesight.
That's probably more likely.
Not only can they get physically hurt by accident, but some of the players might lynch them.
This could be their only chance for valor for these substitute refs.
So cut 'em some slack.

10- I made some nice money on their blown calls.
Sunday night, when Baltimore got credit for a field goal that they missed, and Monday night, when they handed me the Seattle game.

Actually, you can forget about numbers 1 through 9.
Just number 10 works well enough for me.

See you Saturday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

The Morning Line On The Kennedy Center Honors. 2.

A few more words about Letterman:
He deserves his honor for simply providing us with the hippest show on television consistently for the last thirty years.
Consistent with that is his unleashing of Paull Shaffer upon us.
Even when there aren't any guests that I particularly want to see, I watch because I want to see and hear what
piece of music Paul will play as their introduction, or "play-on".
He always plays Tom Brokaw on with "Busted", the old Ray Charles hit, a play on the word "broke".
Pretty hip.
Just two nights ago, when TV host and former footballer Michael Strahan guested on Letterman the other night,
Paul played him on with the song "Lush Life"
The connection was that it was written by Billy Strayhorn, who was long associated
with Duke Ellington.
What's more hip and more adorable than that?

Okay, the others:

Natalia Makarova.
Your basic token artsy-fartsy choice.
They make one every year.
A ballerina.
Or they could have found an opera singer, or a classical musician.
Good luck to them.

Led Zeppelin.

This one galls me on two different very subjective levels.
One, they're a group.
I don't like giving this award to groups.
I didn't like it when they gave it jointly to Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.
Like the only reason they were getting it was because they were married to each other.
They BOTH deserved it.
INDIVIDUALLY.
More than some actors who received it individually.

Two, Led Zepellin are foreigners.
I think we should let all worthy Americans get an American award award before we start giving it to foreigners.
I know Yo Yo Ma wasn't born here, but at least he grew up here, so I had no trouble making the exception last year.
My problem there was an aesthetic one.
I mentioned it when it happened.
They gave it to Neil Diamond last year, too.
It was one of the greatest segments they've ever done.
But then, they closed the show with Yo Yo Ma.
This gave a new meaning to the word "Anti-Climactic"
Usually they have been very careful about the order they present the Honors.
But last year, somebody was asleep at the switch.
They have been careful because, as miniscule as the ratings have been, there has always been concern about holding on to
whatever audience they had.

If I was the ratings conscious producer of the show, here is the sequence I would
use:
Open with Letterman.
That's who most of the audience will be tuned in to see, anyway.
Then Dustin Hoffman.
His name value should hold the audience in place.
At this point, throw on Buddy Guy.
He'll at least keep the dwindling audience awake.
Then shlep on the ballerina, and keep it as short as possible, which they always
do with the artsy-fartsy choice.
The remaining crowd has either Tivoed through this, or gone to the bathroom, waiting
for Led Zeppelin.
And go out big with them.
I'll see you in December, to see if anybody has listened to me.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

The Morning Line On The Kennedy Center Honors.

This year's honorees:

Buddy Guy, Dustin Hoffman, David Letterman, Natalia Makarova and Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones, Jimmy Page and Robert Plant.

A few thoughts:

Buddy Guy, I don't know who the hell he is.
It turns out that he's a great blues guitarist.
My first thought is that they meant to honor Buddy Rich, but didn't realize he was
dead.
And they never honor anyone posthumously.
And they probably started chiseling "Buddy" on their great wall of honorees, so it sent them scrambling to honor someone else named "Buddy"
I could be wrong.

Dustin Hoffman, I guess I figured he already was honored. Maybe he did too.
Or maybe he's been lying in the weeds saying to himself "What's taking them so long?"

David Letterman. Certainly the farthest move towards left-wing comedy that they've ever made.
I wrote previously that they wouldn't really make their bones until they honored
George Carlin.
Then, he died, and it was too late.
And Mort Sahl got too involved with the Kennedy Assassination, so it probably would've made Caroline nervous.
But they were certainly further left than Letterman.
But Letterman is certainly a worthy choice.
You'd figure ordinarily that Leno would have been more in their wheelhouse.
But there would be problems there.
Both politically and cosmetically.
Giving it to Leno would be a direct slap in the face to Letterman and CBS, which is the only network brave enough to carry the event Primetime.
Because it consistently tanks in the ratings.
This is why they hold the event about a month-and-a-half before they show it, on the
day after Christmas.
Christmas week is considered the dumping ground for all Primetime shows that figure
to tank in the ratings.
Also, Leno has lost some of his prestige, what with "The Tonight Show slipping in
the ratings, and his having to drastically cut back on his budget and staff.
And Letterman has so far shown the good taste to not make any jokes at Leno's
expense, like about how "I may not have gotten the Tonight Show, but Leno never got
this"

Whoops!

I see that I have enough yet to write about this subject to take it to a Part Two.
So I will continue it next time.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Such Devoted Sisters. 5.

I think it's safe to say that the McGuire Sisters virtually paved the way for the
Lennon Sisters.
Except that there were three McGuire Sisters and four Lennon Sisters.
Their mutual approach to music and performing was precisely the same.
They were all brought up with heavy religious backgrounds.
They all dressed identically, with the same coifs.

The Lennon Sisters never had their own hit single records.
This is probably for two reasons.
They started recording at about the time that the McGuire Sisters stopped.
And the McGuire Sisters stopped pretty much because of the Elvis Tsunami.
Also, the songs that the Lennon Sisters might have had big hits with were all the
songs that the McGuire Sisters DID have big hits with.
The McGuire Sisters' material suited the Lennon Sisters perfectly, but I don't recall
the Lennons ever attempting to cover the McGuire's hits.
It probably would have been too blatant.

The Lennons will forever be associated with Lawrence Welk.
I think some of the younger ones (There were more than four, and the older ones have
retired,) are still working at Welk's theater, appropriately enough, in Branson Missouri.
They show Welk every Saturday night like clockwork on my local PBS station.
And yet they still ask for donations during pledge weeks.
And we of course have it on the Tivo, because it is my 88 year-old mother-in-law's
favorite show.
I think there is a line of demarcation regarding Welk as to when it was watchable and when it wasn't.
It was watchable in the old days, when we were at the mercy of network programmers
who provided us with "the least objectionable programming",
This is when it was on in black-and-white.
And it actually had some entertainment value.
Once it went to color, it was "Abandon ship!"
And of course, most of what they show on my PBS station are the ones in color.
But just recently, they showed the first ever Welk show. From 1955.
And it was a lot of fun.
There were people on it who were intentionally funny, like violinists Bob Lido and
Aladdin, and trumpeter Rocky Rockwell.
And of course, there were people who were unintentionally funny, like Lawrence Welk.
On this premiere show, he actually said "My friends in North Dakota won't let me
get away without my doing an accordion solo, so my good friend Myron Floren will
join me in a duet.
So they proceeded to do Welk's accordion solo as a duet.
No explanation.
You've got to love it.

In the late sixties, the Lennons then branched out into their own series.
Or at least half their own.
It was a variety show called "Jimmy Durante Presents The Lennon Sisters"
Probably the most ludicrous title of any TV show, ever.
Now, I love Jimmy Durante as much as the next guy.
Hell, more even.
Even more than that nuchshlepper Eddie Jackson, whom he kept alive all those years.
But I just couldn't bring myself to watch "Jimmy Durante Presents The Lennon
Sisters"
I was just too embarrassed.
But about twenty years later, when cable was still young and I was older, they started showing reruns of it on something called "The Nostalgia Channel"
I was now not too embarrassed to at least check it out.
What I found was one of the most entertaining variety shows that I had ever seen.
It was produced by Bernie Kukoff and Jeff Harris, who had produced "The Steve Allen Show"
So major comedy creds were involved.
It certainly wasn't hard for them to write good sketches, and Jimmy Durante was, of course, hilarious. But they also managed to make the Lennon Sisters funny.
And the girls interacted great with Durante.
And they seemed to be singing better than ever.
So, mainly due to this show, which I have now seen just about every episode of
(they were only on for about a season and a half), I have nothing but kind thoughts and affection for the Lennon Sisters.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Such Devoted Sisters. 4.

Okay, we're into the forties, and singing sisters.

This leads us to only one place.
The Andrews Sisters.
In many ways, the Andrews Sisters defined the 1940's.
They defined World War 2 for many people.
That was their heyday.
They were never as popular before or since.
There has been much acknowledgement of the influence of The Boswell Sisters
on them, and it sure is evident.
Both groups really swung.
But there were two major differences:
The Boswell Sisters pretty much stuck to songs that naturally swung.
The Andrews Sisters made every song they sang, with the exception of an occasional
ballad, swing like crazy.
Songs that you wouldn't figure could be swung, they swung.

My wife's 88 year old mother lives with us.
And every morning, my wife wakes her up by singing "The Woodpecker Song"
No, not the "Woody Woodpecker Song", but a song from 1940 that I didn't even know
existed.
It was a big favorite in their home when my wife was growing up, and had enormous
sentimental value.
So, every morning, my wife would sing "The Woodpecker Song" to her mother.
Recently, I did a search on YouTube for "The Woodpecker Song"
There were several versions.
The Gaylords, Bobby Rydell, and The Andrews Sisters.
You want to guess which one swung like crazy?
When my wife sang it, she never swung.
So I didn't even have a clue that it COULD be swung.

The other difference between the Boswells and the Andrews is that the Boswells were a
sit-down act.
This was by necessity.
Connee Boswell was in an accident that left her paralyzed, so they worked seated
around the piano.
The Andrews Sisters moved.
Hell, they danced.
Look at all their movies where they danced in coordinated, eccentric rhythm.
In reading about them, I learned that Universal Studios, too cheap to hire a
choreographer, brought in the Ritz Brothers to teach them their steps.
So there they were, in their Army uniforms with the skirts, dancing like the
Ritz Brothers and singing great.
One of my prized possessions is a CD of every recording The Andrews Sisters made
with Bing Crosby.
It is magnificent.
They brought out Bing's playful side, and we are all the better for it.

All along the way, they had personal problems among them, but thank God it never
got in the way of the music.

The only other sister act of note in the forties were the King Sisters.
Man, were they square.
Even if you put them on swings, they couldn't swing.
An example of how unfair the business can be.
Because they had a very successful TV variety show in the mid to late sixties.
This made exactly as much sense as Lawrence Welk having a very successful show.
Speaking of Welk, we'll close this out with The Lennon Sisters next time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Such Devoted Sisters. 3

In an effort to be comprehensive, I'm going to include Patience and Prudence in discussing singing sisters.
But not for long.
They came along in the mid-fifties, young teenagers who weren't influenced by anybody, and didn't influence anybody.
They had two big hit records: "Tonight, You Belong To Me", and "Gonna Get Along
Without You Now".
Then they vanished.
And that's all I have to say about them.

The rest of this will be handled somewhat chronologically, to determine who influenced who.

A lot of people, if they think about it at all, are convinced that The Andrews Sisters were the mold breakers.
As great as they were, and they were, they did not break any molds.
About eight or nine years before the Andrews Sisters became popular, there were the
Boswell Sisters.
They were very big in the early thirties.
The lead singer for the Boswell Sisters was Connee Boswell.
Artie Shaw, the great clarinetist, bandleader, and misanthrope, referred to Bing
Crosby as the world's first hip white man.
I think, if asked, Shaw would concede that Connee Boswell was the world's first hip
white woman.
She preceded Anita O'Day by about ten years.
And Connee's hipness shone through in all of her recordings.
With her sisters, and when she went out alone as a single.
Alone, and with her sisters, she really swung.
She made some records with Crosby, and the result was hip magic.
I have a recording of the two of them singing "An Apple For The Teacher" which
swings about as good as anything.
The only trouble with the Boswell Sisters recordings is that most of them were made in the early thirties.
And there was a line of demarcation back then, when before that line, orchestrations really sucked.
It's true of early Crosby records as well.
But if you go to YouTube and listen and watch them do their early recordings, I think you'll agree that they transcended the sucky orchestrations better than most did.

Next time we'll make our way into the forties.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Such Devoted Sisters. 2.

No mention of The McGuire Sisters would be complete without pointing out that the lead singer, Phyllis, was,
for quite a while, the main squeeze of noted Mob boss, Sam "Momo" Giancana.
Giancana was perhaps best known for A- being very powerful, and B- for sharing another
girlfriend, Judith Campbell Exner, with John F. Kennedy.
She was apparently more disposable to both of them than Phyllis was to Giancana.
As I previously indicated, Arthur Godfrey did not like it when his Little Godfreys became big.
When that happened, heads would roll.
But the McGuire Sisters heads did not roll when they got too big for their britches.
Or in their case, cocktail dresses and evening gowns.
I place this firmly at the doorstep of Giancana.
Godfrey knew he was big, but he knew he wasn't as big or powerful as Giancana.
So he most-likely didn't want to mess with him.
So the McGuires were allowed to skate.

Phyllis went on to become a single act.
And Christine and Dorothy went into retirement to raise their children.
Again, I have no idea whether this was a forced retirement at the behest of Giancana.
Phyllis went on to open for Frank Sinatra and Johnny Carson in Las Vegas.
One Christmas week, I know, because I was there (I mean, who else but Jews go to Vegas Christmas Week?),
Phyllis McGuire was the HEADLINER at Caesar's Palace.
I put it in caps, because that's how astounded I was.
I guess the thinking was "It's Christmas week, we can't fill the joint anyway, so why don't we toss Sam a bone?"
Can you imagine being Phyllis McGuire's opening act?
I can, because I saw his name under hers, in smaller letters, on the marquee.
It was some Hawaiian singer named something like Duke Kahanamana.
And he probably thought it was his big break.
Even though they probably paid him with seashells.
Pity.
For a few more shells, they could've gotten Poncie Ponce, from "Hawaiian Eye"
At least then, you'd have had some name value.

Then, when Giancana died, lo and behold, the girls reunited and became a trio again.
And worked again together for quite a few years.
Think it was cause and effect?
The last time I saw them was the last time they worked together.
On some PBS nostalgia special.
They still sounded great.
And from the wide-angle lens, shot through gauze, they even still looked great.

I'm going to briefly touch upon one other singing group today, because brief is all I've got.
The Chordettes were also out of the Godfrey stable.
They were Little Godfreys who never really got any bigger.
And they weren't sisters.
At least they weren't each other's sisters.
Let me amend that.
There were four of them,, and one of them was another's sister-in-law.
But that certainly wasn't part of their billing, so let's leave it at that.
They made a lot of records, but only three that I could recognize.
They had two big hits:
"Mr. Sandman" and "Lollipop".
They also made a recording of the TV theme song of "Zorro".
How's that for brief?

Anyway, from here on in, we will be dealing exclusively with singing sisters.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******










h

Such Devoted Sisters.

Dorothy McGuire died this week.
Remember Dorothy McGuire?
Dorothy McGuire was a wonderful actress.
She was wonderful in two of director Elia Kazan's landmark films:
"A Tree Grows In Brooklyn"
God, she was terrific in that.
And "Gentleman's Agreement"
That one seems a little dated now, but her work was award worthy.

But that's not the Dorothy McGuire who died this week.
That Dorothy McGuire died in 2001.
This Dorothy McGuire was one third of the singing group "The McGuire Sisters"
Growing up, I was far more aware of that Dorothy McGuire than I was of the actress.
That's primarily because they were regulars on the Arthur Godfrey Show in the fifties.
I know there might be many of you who might not remember who Arthur Godfrey was.
I find this astounding.
Because in the 1950's, the man owned television.
I don't mean he owned a television.
I mean, my father owned a television.
Godfrey owned television.
He was everywhere on it.
He had three shows on the air at the same time, and was the ratings king on all three.
He had a morning show, which also aired simultaneously on radio.
Godfrey wore headphones and everything.
It was essentially a radio show that allowed cameras in.
Kind of what Don Imus did later on.
Except Godfrey's was a variety show.
There was much music, some comedy, and an inordinate amount of ukulele playing and
singing by the host.
I'm sure he was responsible for a spike in ukulele sales.
This morning show was on Monday through Friday.
He also had a once-a-week prime time variety show, which was performed standing up, without headphones.
On both of these shows, he had a regular group of performers that he called "The
Little Godfreys"
He seemed to not want these Little Godfreys to become big.
He made every effort to keep them little.
And beholden to him.
The McGuire Sisters were three of the Little Godfreys.
Julius LaRosa, a great singer, was one of them.
LaRosa attempted to become a bigger Godfrey, and was fired on the air for his efforts.
A major brouhaha ensued because of this, and was the beginning of the public turning on Godfrey, who was never as popular since.
Godfrey was for the most part, not well-liked by those who knew him.
He was allegedly the role model for Andy Griffith's character in the ubiquitous Elia Kazan's classic "A Face In The Crowd".
None of the other Little Godfreys became bigger either, except for the McGuire
Sisters, who ran the table with a string of hit records.
They actually got their start on Godfrey's third show, also on once a week,
"Arthur Godfreys Talent Scouts"
The McGuire Sisters' hit records were wonderful, and were bigger, and made them bigger, than Godfrey was.
"Sincerely", "Sugartime", and the version of "Picnic" that contained lyrics by Steve
Allen that no one asked him to write, according to the film's director Joshua Logan,
"Something's Gotta Give", "Goodnight Sweetheart, Goodnight", just to name a few.

My mother was a huge fan of Arthur Godfrey's, and watched everything he had on.
This gave me much exposure to him, and to the McGuire Sisters.
The McGuire Sisters dressed identically, were identically coiffed, and identically made up.
I once saw Frank Sinatra appearing in Las Vegas at the Golden Nugget, where they created a more intimate room for him to work in.
About four hundred seats.
He could have filled the place twelve times over, but if Frank wanted four hundred seats, he got four hundred seats.
This was in the 1980's.
The McGuire Sisters were seated at a table, not too far from me.
Identically dressed, identically coiffed, and identically made up.
And they weren't working that night.
I imagine that there must have been daily phone conversations that always began with "What are you wearing today?"
As the years took their toll, they identically needed more and more makeup,
and probably had identical facelifts.
But they didn't have identical faces.
Phyllis McGuire was the lead singer.
She was always flanked by Christine on her right, and Dorothy on her left.
They were all uncommonly pretty.
But there was no doubt to this seven-year-old's mind that Dorothy was far and away
the prettiest.
She was, in fact, my first little-boy crush.
It gave my mother the first opportunity she had to try out the word "facchliuppit"
on me.
For the uninformed, "facchliuppit", in Yiddish, means "Consumed to the point of embarrassment"
As used in a sentence "So Mark, Dorothy McGuire. Are you facchliuppit with her?"
This, of course, is what every seven-year-old wants to hear.
It was probably the last time I openly expressed any interest in any woman.
Particularly the unattainable Dorothy McGuire.
That's how mortifying it was.
But it was also probably the first time that I can recall experiencing an erection.
I looked down at my pants and said "What's that?"

Next time, more about the McGuire Sisters, and their place among other female
singing sisters.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Obama And Promises.

The new person I must turn away from whenever he appears on television is
Republican National Chairman Reince Priebus.
This cat just gives me the willies.
It used to be Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin.
Now, it's Reince.
And I think it goes beyond the fact that they both have slight speech impediments.
Walker has the liquid "L", just like Tom Brokaw, but on Brokaw, it's charming.
Perhaps that's because Brokaw isn't bought and paid for by the Koch Brothers.
And Reince just slurs his words, just like Foster Brooks did in his act.
But Foster Brooks is dead, so he'd be a bad investment for the Koch Brothers.

Also, allow me to take a bow for being the first kid on my block to take a dump on
Clint Eastwood.
This occurred twice.
When he made an otherwise glorious documentary about the great lyricist Johnny
Mercer, only to temporarily louse it up by having his (Eastwood's) nuchshlepper
daughter sing a couple of Mercer's songs.
You know. When he could have gotten any of the best professionals to sing them instead.

And when he made the movie "J.Edgar", a piece of crap consisting of history that was
completely unsourced, filled with private conversations that no one could ever
possibly know if they ever happened.
It wasn't even good drama.
I kept referring to him as "Professor Eastwood" in that one.
It was a case of "How can I, Clint Eastwood, once again, prove that I am God?"

This was also what was on display in Tampa.
Clint Eastwood was the only human being with enough clout to be allowed to "wing it"
at the Republican Convention.
Who's going to tell him "no" ?

So Clint, while talking to the empty chair, kept harping on all those promises Obama
made and didn't keep.
And Reince, after Clinton and Obama each made the speeches of their lives, tweeted,
essentially "Yeah, but what about all those promises he didn't keep?"

A word or two about those promises: When exactly was it that Obama made these
promises?
I don't really remember.
I'm sure he made them.
About reducing the deficit, and the unemployment rate.
But when was it?
After he was elected?
He would have no reason to do it then.
He already had the job.
So it must have been before he was elected.
But I can't believe they were the clincher for him.
The clincher was when they saddled McCain with that illiterate from Alaska.
I'm convinced that Obama made those promises when he was convinced he could keep
them.
You know.
Like before the Recession Tsunami hit.
Before he took office.
Like before he knew that the Republicans would attempt to stifle his every move.
Clinton said it, and I think he meant it.
No other president could have done any better with the hand he was dealt.

So Reince, Clint, shut up with the promises already.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******

Pioneer Women. 5.

Almost sight unseen, I can tell you who the all-time pioneer of women's comedy was.
I say almost sight unseen, because I never really saw that much of her work.
And virtually none of her stand-up, even though I know she did it extensively.

I am referring to Fanny Brice.

All I really know about her work is from her handful of appearances in films, and her work in radio,
where she appeared in character as "Baby Snooks"
I am given to understand that she appeared in children's clothes for the studio
audiences when she did her radio show.
She also attempted that for her only TV appearance.
By all accounts, that is why it was her only TV appearance.
It did not go down well.
Maybe the fact that she was 59 at the time didn't help.
But from the second decade of the twentieth century on, she was without question
one of the biggest stars ever.
She was a consistent headliner in the Ziegfeld Follies.
The biggest showcase for stars on Broadway.
And most of that work was done solo.

I tried to learn more about her.
The only real source I had was the movies "Funny Girl" and "Funny Lady"
I came across something very interesting.
Both movies were almost total works of fiction.
I found a website, Musicals 101.com, that lists point by point where the movies strayed from the truth.
Here are some examples of the straying:

•Fanny was not an only child, but the third of four.

•Fanny's parents owned a chain of profitable saloons in Newark, New Jersey.
So they raised their family in comfort, with household servants and trips to visit relatives in Europe.

•Fanny's mother Rose spent years managing those saloons while her husband played cards and drank heavily.
Rose finally got a legal separation, sold off the saloons and took the kids to Brooklyn, where she made a good living buying and selling real estate.
While Fanny struggled towards fame, her family lived in a series of handsome apartments and townhouses, including one on Manhattan's swanky Beekman Place – nothing like the lower class Henry Street life seen in the musical.

•Fanny made her amateur debut as a solo singer at Frank Keeney's popular Brooklyn vaudeville theatre.
She was never part of the chorus, on roller skates or otherwise.
•Fanny was fired from a chorus by Broadway legend George M. Cohan.
He dropped Brice from the Broadway cast of Talk of the Town because she could not dance.
To cover her disappointment, Fanny claimed she was dumped because of her "skinny legs."
That incident inspired the Keeney scenes in the musical.

•Fanny did not meet Nick Arnstein at Keeney's.

•In her teens, Fanny was married to (and quickly divorced from) Frank White, a small town barber with a taste for young actresses.
Although the union was brief, Fanny later claimed it was consummated, so she lost her sexual innocence years before meeting Nick.

•Funny Girl makes no mention of Fanny's friendship with Irving Berlin.
His "Sadie Salome Go Home" helped Fanny break into the big-time.

•Fanny was not in Brooklyn burlesque when Ziegfeld sent for her.
In fact, she had already made her legit debut in a touring Shubert Brothers production.

• While it is true that Fanny performed material her own way, the pregnant bride number depicted in Funny Girl never happened.
If it had, Florenz Ziegfeld would have fired her on the spot, no matter how much the audience laughed.
Fanny actually made her Follies debut in 1910 singing the now forgotten song "Lovey Joe."

• Fannny and Ziegfeld always treated each other with professional and personal respect.
She always abided by his creative decisions, and never "gave him an ulcer."
•Nick Arnstein "gorgeous"? Oy vey! Compared to who – William Howard Taft?
He may have been sophisticated, and at 6'6" he towered over most men, but he was not a beauty.

•Fanny first met Nick in Baltimore while on tour in a Shubert Brother's 1912 revue. Betting on horses under the alias "Nick Arnold," his real name was Julius Arnstein. He used several aliases to cover his international criminal record.
• Nick tagged along with the Shubert's tour, returned to New York with Fanny, and immediately moved in with her and her mother.
He also began spending Fanny's money.

•Fanny had Nick investigated and learned he was still married to his first wife. Hopelessly in love, Fanny pretended it didn't matter.
She had to wait seven years for his divorce to come through, and married him in 1919 -- just two months before the birth of their daughter Frances.

•Funny Girl depicts Arnstein as a classy gambler who turned to crime because he didn't want to live on Fanny's money. Not so!
Nick was a common criminal and had no qualms about sponging off Fanny for their entire marriage.
Before meeting her, he had already been arrested for swindling in three European countries.
Shortly after they met (and before their marriage), he was jailed for wiretapping. The lovesick Fanny visited him weekly in Sing Sing, so she knew what he was long before they exchanged vows.

• Nick and Fanny had a daughter named Frances (who later married producer Ray Stark) and a son named William who became a respected artist and college professor.
By mutual agreement, William was not mentioned in Funny Girl.

•The film version of Funny Girl shows Fanny doing a "Baby Snooks" routine in the Follies on the night in 1920 that Ziegfeld tells her Nick has been arrested.
In fact, she did not create Snooks until the 1933 Follies – a year after Ziegfeld's death.

•Fanny owned a Manhattan townhouse on West 76th Street and a large county place in Huntington, Long Island.
Her money paid for both, so Arnstein's financial losses never changed their living arrangements.

• Funny Girl suggests Nick's big "mistake" was selling phony bonds.
In fact, he was part of a gang that deliberately stole five million dollars worth
of Wall Street securities – a tremendous sum in 1920.
Instead of gallantly turning himself in as depicted in the film, he stayed in hiding for four months, leaving Fanny to face intense press and police harassment while giving birth to their son William.
When Nick finally surrendered to the authorities, he fought the charges on every possible technicality for four years - and three guesses who worked like a slave to pay off Nick's gargantuan legal bills.

• A federal court finally threw Nick into Leavenworth for 14 months, where Fanny used her influence to arrange for special treatment (including meals cooked by the warden's wife!).

• Fanny finally divorced Nick in 1927 after discovering that he was having an affair with an older, wealthier woman.

• Nick attempted a reconciliation with Fanny in the late 1940s, but she wisely chose not to risk dealing with him again.


I had no idea what crocks of shit these movies were until I read all of this, but nowhere does it contradict the fact that Fanny Brice was this gigantic, humongously
gifted comedienne.
No woman was nearly as big, for as long as she was, as Fanny Brice.
She was to babes in comedy what Babe Ruth was to baseball.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My books ,"Show Runner" and it's sequel,"Show Runner Two", can be found at the Amazon Kindle Store.
Along with the newer ones, "The Man Is Dead", and "Report Cards".
You can search by typing in my name, Cindy Williams, Laverne & Shirley, The Odd Couple, or Happy Days.
Check them out.
You don't need a Kindle machine to download them.
Just get the free app from Kindle, and they can be downloaded to an IPhone, IPad, or Blackberry.
The paperback, "Mark Rothman's Essays" is still available for people without Kindle.
I have many readings and signings remaining, and the thing about Kindle is you can't sign one.
If you'd like one, contact me at macchus999@aol.com.
And now, we've got my reading of my "Laverne & Shirley Movie" screenplay on YouTube.

******